"Yesterday, President Obama signed the stimulus bill in Denver, Colorado. He picked Denver because our debt is now a mile high." --Jay Leno
The Associated Press reports that 100 lawmakers were involved with the lobbying business of PMA Group in securing earmarks for campaign contributions: "Former-Rep. Mark Udall, D-Eldorado Springs (and elected to the Senate last fall), and Reps. Ed Perlmutter, D-Golden, and Doug Lamborn, R-Colorado Springs, on the list of those who secured earmarks -- either individually or with others --and also received campaign contributions from the PMA group's political action committee or its employees."
"When I came back to the cloak room after coming to the agreement a week ago today," said Specter, "one of my colleagues said, 'Arlen, I'm proud of you.' My Republican colleague said, 'Arlen, I'm proud of you.' I said, 'Are you going to vote with me?' And he said, 'No, I might have a primary.' And I said, 'Well, you know very well I'm going to have a primary.'" [...]
"I think there are a lot of people in the Republican caucus who are glad to see this action taken without their fingerprints, without their participation," he said.
Asked how many Republican lawmakers we're talking about here, Specter said it's a "sizable number."
"As you may have heard, the state of California is broke. So you're looking at massive state layoffs now because the legislature hasn't been able to come up with a budget. The state is $42 billion in the hole. You know, I'm no financial expert, but if you have no money and no prospects of making money and you owe $42 billion, you're way beyond putting yourself on a budget, O.K.? I think you're looking at faking your own death at this point." --Jay Leno
"President Obama, today, outlined his plan to deal with the mortgage mess and the housing crisis. The good news -- he thinks he's found a solution. The bad news -- it involves arson." --Jay Leno
"And the idea of nationalizing banks is becoming more popular with some lawmakers and economists. They say they're leaning towards the Swedish model for banks. You know, I've got a better idea. How about opening banks with all Swedish models." --Jay Leno
"Well, here's the latest on the bailout. Democrats may have to bail Senator Roland Burris out of jail." --Jay Leno
"More bad news for Senator Burris. Now, the Chicago Sun-Times is calling for his resignation. Remember, he was appointed by Governor Blagojevich. Now he could be in trouble for perjury and for giving conflicting statements in his testimony about campaign contributions. See, that's the trouble with politicians. They think the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth are three different things." --Jay Leno
"In a new ranking of U.S. presidents by 65 historians, President Bush came in fifth from the bottom. And here's the bad part -- the margin of error was five." --Jay Leno
"In an interview with Fox News, Gov. Sarah Palin's daughter, 18-year-old Bristol Palin -- remember Bristol Palin, who had the baby? Well, she talked in the interview. She said, 'A year ago, I never would have thought I would become a mom or that my mom was going to be chosen to be a vice presidential candidate.' Oddly enough, both things happened because some guy failed to take the proper precautions." --Jay Leno
"Good news and bad news for Sarah Palin. The bad news is that the IRS says she owes thousands of dollars in back taxes. The good news is that she now qualifies to be in Obama’s Cabinet." --Craig Ferguson