Thursday, February 21, 2019

Ivanka's World Bank, Nicknames, Save Us Barron Trump

A few weeks ago, the national press got punked, and nobody commented on it, so I guess it was a failed or partial punk. What happened was the head of the World Bank decided to step down due to immoral circumstances. Traditionally, the head of the World Bank is selected by the United States, and the rumors started that Ivanka Trump was being considered for the position, because of her vapid experience... I read about it as a filler piece in Politico, and I thought, bless you, Paul Krassner is still alive... (Paul was a comedian and creator of The Realist. He always talked about the gullibility of the press and its readership, and came up with weird stories to see if they would get reported. His most famous one was the story of the person who ordered a box of chicken from KFC, opened it up and found a Kentucky Fried Rat among the chicken parts. The best part is how the story assumed a life of its own, reappearing in different newspapers over the years, unprompted... There have been books written compiling similar urban myths.)

I was hoping that Ivanka's myth would take wings and fly, but a few days later Politico just as seriously reported that Ivanka had never been considered for the World Bank, she was just using the rumors to popularize her jewelry and clothing line... Joking there, but it's not like Ivanka is talented enough to create a clothing pattern or hot glue a glass bauble onto a piece of plastic. She is talented enough to put those designers in contract under her label, and market their creations as her own...

Election season has started, and already Donald is trying to come up with derogatory nicknames for candidates who would oppose him. Most names that I found about Donald, are similar variations of the phrase, That Orange Asshole... So, I have been trying for a more elegant approach, let me know if you have any that yourselves have come up with:

The Cheeto in Chief

Putin's Pissing Partner

Don the Con


Fox and Friend

Tantrum Trump

This could be a good drinking game, making new nicknames, until you get hammered and revert back to that orange asshole... But make sure to popularize your favorites in email, social media posts, letters to the editor. The goal should be having it broadcast on your favorite news station...

Back in the 1980's Donald Trump assumed the name of John Barron, and called a reporter of Forbes, arguing that Mr. Trump was worth more than the magazine stated, and he should be moved higher up in the rankings of richest men. Then he goes and names his son Barron, and his clueless wife went along with it. And poor Barron may be the most ignored famous kid in America...

Anyway, Barron, pay attention, because only you can save our country! What you need to do is buy some marijuana edibles and put them in your parent's food. They really need to learn how to chill out and expand their minds a bit. Who knows? If you are successful, you may become known as the savior of the GOP party, though they still have to disband and start all over...