Friday, November 3, 2017

Will Trump Still Be Healthy in 11 Days?





Donald Trump has left for an 11 day trip to Asia, which leaves room here for shenanigans by his fellow Republicans and the Mueller investigation. It also gives Vladimir Putin the opportunity to declare Trump Tower as part of Russia and send soldiers to take over the building...

A couple of conspiracy theories going around, the first one spread by Steve Bannon, is that while Trump is away, the cabinet will convene and impeach him, although it's hard to believe that Betsy Devos and Ben Carson are smart enough to comprehend what is going on... Meanwhile, the Vice President has been preening in front of the mirror, practicing his presidential demeanor...

The more ominous theory is that Mr. Trump will not make it back to the US, and I don't mean that he will hole up at Trump Dubai... A "lone North Korean assassin" could take him out in over a hundred different ways, or even an ISIS agent could rent a truck and do a drive-bye. Or he could have a heart attack, which the CIA specializes in, as opposed to poisoning by nuclear isotope, which is Putin's signature. Of course, all of these scenarios have already been thought of by our Secret Service, plus they have to plan for Trump pissing off any or all of his host countries and leaders... it's not like he will end up vomiting on the Prime Minister of Japan, but then, you just never know...

And if he does make it back there are the obstruction of justice subpoenas that will be served on Donald Jr., Jared Kushner, and possibly himself. So, expect some even more weird and shrill tweets from across the globe... All this madness in Washington just proves that someone has successfully dosed the water supply with LSD, or Lewis Carroll was right with his theory of rabbit-holes; Donald is not the Red Queen but is the Orange Queen, and I'm late, I'm late...