Thursday, December 29, 2011

I Spy With My Little Eye...

The American born spy whom we sent to Iran has given a confession, and is being given a speedy trial. It began today, and may soon be over, because they might be able to use him as a trading pawn in the near future. The US is preparing another round of sanctions and may try to stop the sale of Iranian crude oil...

This is all regular political maneuvering, and the next part is pretty mundane, except how the announcements are delivered. Iran uses its state-owned television to make most of its major announcements, most of the time people have to listen to a two-hour speech just to get to the policy statements at the end. I think that the reason why the government uses it so much, is that it's one of the few countries where the media isn't owned and dominated by Rupert Murdoch... Fit in-between the pirated Walt Disney movies... Iran got a little shrill and said that it would block the Straight of Hormuz, all 23 miles of it, so no ship could get out of the Persian Gulf.

The US Fifth Fleet responded, by e-mail, that it would never happen, and they would do their best to keep it uncluttered and clear, since its considered to be international waters. I wonder if we are working towards one of those trigger events that the US and Israel agreed to, that would allow Israel to bomb Iran's nuclear facilities?

The US will also continue to use drones to monitor the situation. Evidently they don't believe that Iranian Intelligence hacked into the drone that they recently captured. Using drones to criss cross the globe is a lot cheaper than using the spy satellites we already have in orbit. With the satellites, my father used to brag that they could count the hairs on a gnat's ass. The optic resolution is much better with drones, so I'm guessing that there's a lot of extraneous gnat pornography being viewed in trailers on the Nevada desert...

Weird how we are now using the Internet to announce official policy. Now I'm going to have to follow the Department of Defense on Twitter, and friend my favorite politicians on Facebook. I thought that Sarah Palin was a failure when she used Twitter to express herself, who knew that she impressed someone in the Pentagon?

 If you are a believer in conspiracy theories, then Twitter becomes part of the unconscious brain--washing of the public mind. By limiting people's expressions to 140 characters, we either limit our thought patterns or are making a generation of haiku masters. But, it limits the ability to have coherent thoughts. Coupled with the passive operant conditioning that happens when we watch television, with its rapid jump cutting from one image to the next, we learn to have shorter attention spans, just in time when the new masters of the universe take over at the end of 2012. A country run by Rick Perrys, Michele Bachmanns, and Newt Gingriches, all cheered on by the masses addicted to sweet tea...

RIP Cheetah

Monday, December 26, 2011

Iran Can Be Our New Friends, North Korea Too...

"Last night Rick Perry compared himself to Tim Tebow. The difference? Tim Tebow actually has a prayer." – Jay Leno

"The candidates all have their position on the Federal Reserve. Ron Paul is anti-Fed. Mitt Romney is pro-Fed. And Newt Gingrich is over-Fed." – Jay Leno

"USA Today reports that the number of death row executions this year has hit a 35-year low. They attribute that to DNA evidence clearing more people and the fact that Rick Perry has been on the road campaigning. " – Jay Leno

"Gary Busey has just withdrawn his endorsement of Newt Gingrich. That's when you know your campaign's in trouble. " – Jay Leno

I don't have any lists of books or favorite news events that rocked my world for 2011, lord knows there are plenty of other blogs where they do such things. Then, I don't have some crappy editor to answer to, just myself, and I tend to let myself slide a lot. The only discipline I try to adhere to is keeping my writing to a few paragraphs, and not making references that are too obscure. Almost all news stories can be found in the New York Times or the Washington Post, though I often read a lot more sources. I'm in the process of adding source sites to my new laptop, and will soon add and subtract more blogs that I like. I have the ads in my blog because they were supposed to make some extra money, yet, to date, I've made less than $5 from Google ads, and MSNBC won't return my e-mails... So, I will have to rethink the ad thing. I have asked a couple of friends if they'd like to add content, but so far everyone has declined. It looks like I will still be the only author, and I will try to publish every two or three days, as a labor of love...

There's been a couple of signs that Kim Jong-un will be less severe as a "Beloved Leader" than his father and grandfather were. When his father died, there were military troops out on maneuvers, and one of the first orders Jong-un gave was to have them all return to their bases, giving some reassurance that they weren't going to over-run the borders. Second, he has received a delegation of diplomats from South Korea. Indications are that he's easier to talk to. Since he's only 28 years old, we might think about sending Kim Kardashian over as Ambassador, or our secret weapons of Beyonce and Christina Aguilara... If we make an effort, we could normalize relations with North Korea and change the tone of the whole region. I'm guessing, but I'll bet that North Korea wouldn't mind being more economically successful...

Another country that we might be able to have better relations with is Iran. Of course, we'd have to stop calling each other Satan and the Axis of Evil (if you want to use this to rename your rock band, you have my permission), and making other dumb accusations... For example, a New York judge has ruled that Iran is linked with al-Qaeda to the 9/11 attack, which is just not true. It's propaganda made up by the conservative elements in our State Dept to create guilt by association. Iran has never been friends with al-Qaeda, other than to sell them roadside bombs and suicide vests, but that's just business. Iran kept members of Osama bin Laden's family, a wife and some children, as hostages. They lived in some comfort in a compound on the outskirts of Tehran, and was Iran's guarantee that al-Qaeda would leave their country alone. Of course, Iran gets more mileage out of demonizing the US, take away the Great Satan as an enemy, and they wouldn't have any scapegoats to hide their mistakes and corruption, the Grand Ayatollah wouldn't last much longer as Supreme Leader ( OK, how about Supreme Leader and the Ayatollahs for another rock band's name???)

The most important event of this last year was the Arab Spring, how it evolved from a single man's protest to circle the globe and influence movements against corruption in the US, in Russia, and even in China. It remains a positive, inspired influence despite areas that devolved into violence in Egypt, Syria, and Yemen. Even in those places, the end results is a struggle away from autocratic styled rule to a more democratic one, unless you are a woman or a member of a minority tribe... It's just a few steps on a long journey in the right direction...

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Merry Christmas To Our Spy In An Iranian Jail

Hope your holidays will be filled with fun and family. I finally got my order of cigars, they weren't the ones I had back-ordered, but they are good enough, to get me through all of the football games during the next week. I have been trying to not write about the posse of GOP candidates, as it's too easy to make fun of them. I'm a gentler, kinder Grumpy Old Man this season, until the gloves come off next week. But most of the stuff I wanted to do, like compile the flip flops of Newt and Mitt, the old school racism of Ron Paul that bears fruit in Rand Paul, have all been done in the Washington Post and Daily Beast, so I need some new political gaffes for inspiration. I wonder what Sarah Palin's message is for the holidays?

I'm constantly amazed at how, there's no other way to say it, incredibly stupid our intelligence services are. The phrase "military intelligence" has become a standard oxymoron, yet the CIA is in a class by itself. I'm waiting to see what develops from the story of the Finnish police finding 160 tons of explosives laying around exposed on deck of a Dutch cargo ship, and 69 Patriot missiles in boxes marked as fireworks. Hopefully, the excuses will be more inventive than the one from the CEO of the shipping company: "There must have been a mistake..." I wouldn't be too surprised to find that Oliver North had a hand in this, or maybe I'm just feeling nostalgic... nor would it be surprising if the ship were to stop in Yemen or Bahrain, offloading its boxes of "fireworks..."

Even dumber than losing a secret-type drone in Iran, is sending an Arizona born man of Iranian descent back to Iran, and trying to have him pass on bogus information to the Iranian intelligence service in order to try and infiltrate them, or at least get them to recognize our guy as a credible source of info. They chose an ex-Marine, who also worked as a mercenary for some of the CIA fronted private companies, someone who has a murky past and would look suspicious if anybody checked up on him... Now he's in an Iranian jail, and I doubt we have anyone leftover from our last trade to swap for this guy, we warned you we'd disavow you when you accepted the job...

Throw in protesting the British Embassy in Tehran that resulted in its closing, and there is a much reduced footprint of western intelligence in Iran during these months that lead up to the next presidential election. Less chance that the CIA and other oxymoronic services will be able to reproduce the protests that accompanied the last elections. Barring any Iranian candidate from corrupt actions and ballot stuffing, which is guaranteed to happen, maybe it won't be so brazen to offend even the most conservative...

What is it with the right wing conservative element in each country, that they never support human rights and dignity? Let's get Newt to answer with Ron Paul before the Iowa caucus...

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Mayan Calendar, Finland Confiscates 69 Patriot Missiles, Newt's New Ethics Complaint

According to the Mayan calendar, we have one year left until the end of the world. Will it be one big party, or will there be such large natural disasters that we will be too busy to notice? NASA is predicting some large solar flares this next year, that could possible damage every computer on earth. Survivalists say that most communities have about two or three days of food available in stores, and all it takes is six or seven days without food and water before we turn feral and start attacking each other with guns. So the timeline from something like a solar flare to where we go feral and kill each other off is less than two weeks... From this kind of a scenario, the ascension of the faithful seems a lot more desirous, unless its the mother-ship that sucks them up, ready to perform anal dissection like we were some kind of supersnax...

From Bruce Cockburn's Last Night of the World:

I've seen the flame of hope among the hopeless
And that was truly the biggest heartbreak of all
That was the straw that broke me open
If this were the last night of the world
What would I do?
What would I do that was different
Unless it was champagne with you?

Here's a news item that will quickly vanish, and we may never know the outcome, from the AP: "The Finnish authorities on Wednesday impounded 160 tons of explosives and 69 surface-to-air Patriot missiles that were found on a British-flagged cargo ship. While the ship’s ultimate destination was Shanghai, officials said, it was not clear where the weapons were bound.

The cargo ship, M/S Thor Liberty, sailed from the German port of Emden on Dec. 13 and two days later docked in Kotka, Finland, to pick up a cargo of anchor chains, said a Finnish Customs spokesman, Petri Lounatmaa.

Investigating officers did not know the origin of the missiles or who was supposed to receive them, Mr. Lounatmaa said. “We have impounded the explosives and missiles and asked the Defense Ministry to transport and store them,” he said. At this point, he said, it had not been determined “if the Thor Liberty planned a drop before its port of destination in China.”

Detective Superintendent Timo Virtanen of the National Bureau of Investigation said dock workers found the explosives stored on open pallets instead of in closed containers. They alerted inspectors, who found the missiles in containers that were marked as fireworks. Interior Minister Paivi Rasanen said she had not heard of a similar case. “Of course, there are legal transports of weapons or defense material, but in this case the cargo was marked as containing fireworks,” Ms. Rasanen told the national broadcaster YLE TV. “That is quite unusual.”

The questions asked is, who is buying the weapons, and who is sending them? On the surface, it seems the Brits are up to something, but since 80% of intelligence forces are hired third parties, the missiles could be shipped by anybody acting as a middle-man. The farther from a government agency, the better the deniability. Patriot missiles are US made, and it would be scary to think that someone other than the US military can get their hands on 69 missiles. So, who do we secretly want to send missiles and munitions to between Finland and China? Probably either Libya, Egypt, or Saudi Arabia brokered out of a NATO stockpile in Britain... Flip the scenario if the explosives were brokered privately, then the whole mess could be destined for Palestine or Iran.. It could be that this is how an indebted country like Spain plans to get out of debt, not to rely on bailouts... To add to the Doomsday script, Russia just announced that it is building the world's largest bomb, to be called SATAN...

"How is it that voters loathe Obama, with a personal history of high moral standing and liberal policies, while supporting a conservative with a history of immorality?" - Walter Rogers

I almost feel bad about relating this next tidbit, joining with the GOP presidential candidates in attacking Newt Gingrich, hitting him from all angles until he no longer is the frontrunner... Mr Nasty is proclaiming to be running a positive, clean campaign, with no negative ads, and he's complaining, whining actually, over how he is being treated. We'll see how long that promise lasts, because everyone else is just lambasting him, with over 1200 negative ads against him in Iowa, so far...

A new ethics violation of the campaign laws has been filed against Newt's campaign, on how he is making personal money from public donations, specifically paying himself for the use of a: " personal mailing list. The Post reports that Gingrich paid himself for the list, even as the campaign was struggling to pay off nearly $1.2 million it owed to other vendors.

But the CREW complaint alleges that Gingrich never actually owned the list, noting that it has never been disclosed among the candidate's personal assets. Instead, the government watchdog claims that the list belonged to Gingrich Productions, the production company run by Gingrich's wife Callista.

“Newt Gingrich will do anything to make a buck, even sell his own mailing list to his campaign,” CREW executive director Melanie Sloan told Business Insider. "Of course, he has a long history of playing fast and loose with ethics rules, so this should come as a surprise to no one."

CREW also accuses Gingrich of improperly mixing campaign events and book sales. Referencing a recent New York Times article, the complaint alleges that while campaigning, Gingrich uses corporate funds from Gingrich Productions to subsidize his campaign events, while also using his rallies to push his book sales.

For example, at book signings, the Gingrichs collect the names of people waiting in line and put it on their political mailing list. At the same time, proceeds from the books go directly to the Gingrichs, not to the campaign. “There seems to be an uptick in candidates using campaign funds to enrich themselves," Sloan said. "And it looks like Gingrich is finding every way possible to gather names for his lists – he is crossing lines that he is not legally allowed to cross.

Gingrich's campaign has denied any wrongdoing, stating that the campaign and Gingrich Productions keep finances separate. "If the FEC considers the complaint, they will find that the rules are being followed and published regulations are being enforced," campaign spokesman R.C. Hammond said in a statement today, responding to the complaint."

Many people consider Newt's rise to front runner as a fluke, that all he really wanted to do was make money from his website, and feeding the addiction of public adulation by being in front of television cameras. He pretty much sucked as a history teacher, was denied tenure by his peers at West Georgia College, wherever that is, but that has developed into his current incarnation as teacher to the whole country, and grand intellectual of the GOP...

Monday, December 19, 2011

Take The Last Train To Pyongyang

George W Bush's Axis of Evil just lost another rung with the death of North Korea's Kim Jong-il. Now we're going to have to refer to Iran as the Axle of Evil, or if we want to appeal to a slightly younger crowd, the Axl Rose of Evil...

According to the Korean media, the Beloved Leader died of a heart attack a couple of days ago, while he was on his personal train choogling around the countryside. Because parts of North Korea is a bit backwards, they had to ice the corpse down for the two day trip back to the capitol. This gave everyone time to compose themselves and decide if they were going to support Kim's heir, young Kim Jung-un, or drown him in a freak accident...

We'll see what happens over the next few weeks, what kind of a man Jung-un turns out to be. Will he be as crazy as his father and grandfather, or will he become a stooge for the miltary, or will he hide in his room playing World of Warcraft? South Korea isn't taking any chances, they are beefing up troops at the border, and China is dispatching a lot of diplomats, hoping to keep the situation stable.

North Korea has made paranoia an institution for the last sixty years, saying that all of their ignorance, poverty, and stunted sense of culture is because the USA wanted to invade and annihilate them. Only the diligence of their military and Beloved Leaders stood in our way. Unfortunately, the rest of the world pretty much forgot about them unless they produced a tantrum to get the world's attention. And just like all other countries run by their military and intelligence officers, they stole their citizens blind...

Here's hoping that young Kim Jong-un can step up and bring his country into the 21st century, but as cynical as I am, I doubt that continuing a corrupt line of dictatorship will be the way to do it... And here's hoping there will be enough time to make those changes, before our blood-thirsty politicians start hollering for "regime change..."

Saturday, December 17, 2011

End Of Iraq War, Who Noticed?

"Mitt Romney tried to make a $10,000 bet with Rick Perry during a presidential debate. Well, who says the Republicans are rich snobs out of touch with the common man?" – Jay Leno

"A campaign staffer on the Newt Gingrich campaign was fired because he was making negative comments about Mormons. I thought, 'Wait a minute, isn't Newt in favor of multiple wives?'" –David Letterman

"Ron Paul is in favor of letting states legalize marijuana, prostitution, and cocaine. So even if he doesn't win, that's going to be one heck of an election night party." –Jay Leno

Well, Congress is finished for the year, and the War in Iraq is officially over; we got a two-fer... Now comes the articles trying to spin the arguments that going to Iraq was a good thing to do in the first place. Hey, Saddam Hussein was a bad man and we did a favor by taking him out. Ok, that explains our actions for one month of one year, what did we do during the other nine years and 11 months that was constructive? They cannot even provide consistent days with electricity, one of those infrastructure projects we paid Haliburton $1.8 billion for that they never begun...

The Center for American Progress is trying to determine the cost of the war: "Coalition deaths totaled 4,803, of which 4,484 (93 percent) were American. The number of Americans wounded was 32,200. At least 463 non-Iraqi contractors were killed. Iraqi civilian deaths are estimated to total between 103,674 and 113,265. The UNHCR says the war resulted in 1.24 million internally displaced persons and more than 1.6 million refugees.

The Congressional Research Service puts the dollar cost of Operation Iraqi Freedom at $806 billion.
The cost for veteran's benefits was $422 billion."

So far, nobody has begun to tally up the amount of money that went through charities, another one of the biggest money-making scams out there. Less than five cents out of every dollar donated actually goes to a project. Projects are often abandoned or made haphazardly so they don't last.... The lack of oversight makes it impossible to determine if any charitable project has helped, the honest, good ones are very few and far between.

Probably the most  dangerous thing we are leaving in Iraq, is Nuri al-Maliki in charge. He has a tendency towards autocracy, and could easily turn into a Saddam Mini-Me, even though he has said that he won't run again.  Who knows if he gave away the secret to bringing down our drone to his BFF's in Iran?

There weren't any major parties or ceremonies to celebrate the Americans leaving, many units just packed up and left in the dead of night, without telling their Iraqi partners. Leon Panetta did show up to help fold the last American flag. Really, it must have been an awkward situation, err, sorry that we killed so many of your people, hope you like your democracy... The main problem is that a democratic Iraq won't survive for long surrounded by so many dictatorships like Iran, Syria, Saudi Arabia to destabilize it. The best hope is for the spirit of the Arab Spring bringing down those governments and entering Iraq to change it from within...

If you are a hawk like the GOP presidential candidates, except for Ron Paul, you can take comfort that we haven't pulled very far from Iraq, just to Kuwait and Bahrain, where we'll be able to re-invade at a moments notice. Who knows, perhaps we'll be able to manufacture a crisis before the primaries, if not the presidential election...

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The Frontrunners, One's a Mudder...

Dana Milbank
Thomas Friedman

"Gingrich and his rivals are most definitely for sale. The Republican nominating contest resembles nothing so much as a Christie’s wine auction, as candidates accept, and toss about, dollar figures beyond the comprehension of the people they would serve." - Dana Milbank
“Zany is not what we need in a president. Zany is great in a campaign. It’s great on talk radio. It’s great in print, it makes for fun reading,” - Mit Romney

Go, Mit, go! Mit is hitting hard back at Newt Gingrich, who passed him in the polls as the front-runner in Iowa. Of course, nobody else in America really cares what they think in Iowa unless you are a reporter or an Iowan. Then, its only some Iowans who care, those of the conservative persuasion, a few old white people and a handful of college kids who think they are rebelling by being boring. No, I meant kids who grew up in a conservative, religious environment and haven't the tools to think for themselves, yet. It's said that over 50% of people who attend the caucus are evangelical Christians, who aren't all that happy with either Mit or Newt, neither who have been consistent in their beliefs.

I've never been to Iowa, so I can only generalize about them, but we have caucasus here in Colorado, and it does feel very old fashioned and down-home going to one. I can't say how the Democrats conduct theirs, but my local little dictators really don't like to hear much variety of opinion. One of our rising young stars is the woman who thought up the personhood amendments when she was a mere home-schooled girl of sixteen... I get to feel vastly superior to everyone, as I sip my Starbuck's latte... but it really is an interesting way to conduct politics, even if we don't identify ourselves as a farming community.

If I were to vote for anyone right now, it would probably be Ron Paul, if only to see if he could slash the military budget and legalize marijuana. Ron is a true Libertarian in that he is a strange brew of solid ideas that you'd like to see enacted, mixed with some crazy shit that would drive the rulers of the GOP crazy, with some truly batshit ideas that should never see the light of day. But they do, in every speech he gives... The source for his ideas aren't just from obscure Austrian economists, but also from folks like the John Birch Society. I didn't even know that the John Birch Society still existed until I watched Ron Paul address them on CSPAN a couple of years ago. Needless to say, I had a creepy Friday evening...

When Newt first came to Congress, he vowed to enact a Contract with America, to move the policies of the government towards the right, and began the obstructionist behavior to try and get his way. He was known for being a nasty person, making more enemies than friends. We may never know the veracity of the ethics violations that were brought against him, but the end result was that his own Republican Party forced him to resign. One day you're Speaker of the House, the next you're selling books on a website and lobbying for Freddie Mac... What remained is a self-absorbed, pompous man who would lie to us and think nothing of it.

What it comes down to, can any of the GOP candidates beat Barack Obama in both a debate and the next election? Remember when Obama took on the entire Republican Congress in give and take, and creamed them all? As long as the Republicans keep on blindly trying to stop Obama at any cost, they will never come up with any practical solutions that the public can get behind. This is what happens when a political party has been taken over by a bunch of bitter, negative, rich men...

Who knows, maybe Rick Santorum will win, then he can demand that Google stops directing people who look up his last name to those web sites that define the word "santorum" as something that leaks out of the anus after sex...

Monday, December 12, 2011

I'm Back, Trickster Rules Republican Politics

"In a surprise move, this mo"Herman Cain seemed to sense his supporters needed something to lift their spirits, which is what led to Herman Cain saying the greatest nine words ever spoken by an American politician: 'I believe these words came from the Pokemon movie…'" –Jon Stewart

"Herman Cain announced Saturday he was suspending his campaign. He brought his wife with him, so apparently he couldn't get a date. I guess he used up all his 9-9-9 lives. The closest he got to the White House was spending the night at Ginger White's house." –Jay Leno

"The good news: unemployment is down and people are out looking for work. That's good news. In fact today Herman Cain applied at Domino's, Pizza Hut, Round Table, and Little Caesars..." –Jay Leno

"This morrning Herman Cain's penis announced it's still in the race."  - Conan O'Brien

I'm baack... my old laptop died and I had no way to access the Internet, so this blog has been neglected for the last three weeks. I could have gone to the library every day and used their system, but then my sister's car broke down, and we've also been stranded at home. I ended up getting a Toshiba laptop, and am now acclimating to using Windows again, as an operating system. I hate Internet Explorer, it's not as easy to use as Safari was, and Safari was set up better for research. I haven't figured out how to paste photos into my blog with either Explorer or Chrome yet, the relearning curve is frustrating...

Even more frustrating, was the Internet withdrawals I went through, just like any other addiction. I've been using computers on a regular basis for over  15 - 20 years, and the Internet has become part of my identity.
Though I am being passed by because I may never own a smart phone or ipad, and see no reason to develop apps or download any, I feign indifference because of my advancing years. I'm sure if I was younger I'd be a tweetmonster, living life in haiku-like phrases and thinking I was quite clever, especially now that every tweet ever made will be stored in the Library of Congress. Too bad they won't do that with blogs...
Unfortunately, in order to afford buying the laptop, I had to forgo some pleasures in life. I suspended my subscription to the NY Times for three months, and canceled my outstanding order of cigars, and hope that I can get through the next few months on my limited monthly income.

There are beings out there that feed on human misery, the more violent the better. They are part of every culture yet remain hidden and unidentified except as parts of fantasy and myths.These minor demons, or djinns, are firmly established in the Middle East; which may explain why almost every peaceful protest or movement ends up in a blood-bath. The psychic Stuart Wilde has said that after we die our souls tend to hang out circling the earth like an aura, and after all of the violent deaths from WW11, the aura surrounding our planet went from positive to negative, and it has accelerated the death of our planet. In the fight of good versus evil, evil has already won  and it's time for our souls to travel on and fight over the next inhabitable planet...

Or not... But, if you don't want to question why every Muslim country enjoys killing each other and blowing each other up, then being ruled and influenced by some kind of lords of chaos may be your best bet for conversation. Can you prove that Bashar al-Assad and his family are sane, not under the influence of evil djinns? Or the country of Pakistan?

Because blood-thirsty Americans certainly aren't afraid of conservative Muslims, aren't they their fellow businessmen and best friends and trading partners? Both don't want too much change in society and will vilify each other - look at all of the articles warning what might happen if the big, bad Muslim Brotherhood wins the Egyptian election. Let them learn their own lessons how unreasonable and crazy the religious right really are...

Here in America, we are obviously in thrall to the Indian trickster manitous, what other reason explains the last few years of behavior by the Republican Party? When the GOP means " I'm not a witch," to Herman Cain quoting the Pokemon movie, the current crop of Republican candidates all seem like they have escaped from the loony bin. Otherwise sane people act like gibbering fools on debates and we treat this behavior seriously, as if it was presidential material... How else to explain all this than the old Indian curses coming true, letting the Trickster use his perverse sense of humor to tear down and destroy our corrupted system... It's about as logical as asking the Iranians to please return our spy drone because we don't want them to have the technology... It's about as logical as leaving soldiers in Iraq after Dec 31st and expecting them to not be shot at... It's like expecting something logical in a Rick Perry speech, or humility and honesty in one from Newt Gingrich...

I've missed reading my digital newspapers and have been going to the library for these past few weeks, catching up on some local history and myths. In Colorado, it often feels like there are more myths than actual events by real people, and my waking and dream moments tend to blend together. So, I'm thankful for the Internet back in my life, where I can just skim through the news and opinions each day, pretending once again to be a pundit.

Friday, November 18, 2011

GOP Frontrunners, Jerry Sandusky American Paedophile

"There's another Republican presidential debate tonight. This one is focused on why there were so many Republican presidential debates." – Jimmy Kimmel
"Mitt Romney said he created thousands of jobs at governor of Massachusetts. Rick Perry said he created thousands as governor of Texas. Herman Cain said he tried to create a number of jobs for women but now he's getting attacked for it all of a sudden." – Jimmy Kimmel

"If I were Mitt Romney, I wouldn't show up anymore. I would just go to Hawaii and wait it out until the election, drink some caffeine free Diet Coke and watch Herman Cain and Rick Perry self-destruct." –Jimmy Kimmel

"The harassment allegations keep coming at Herman Cain -- like an uninvited hand up a pleated skirt." –Stephen Colbert

David Letterman's "Top Ten Herman Cain Pick-Up Lines"

10. "You're like a Godfather's pizza: a little doughy, but still hot"
9. "My name's Herman and I'll get you squirmin'"
8. "May I stuff your crust?"
7. "You put the 'ass' in National Restaurant Association"
6. "Can I buy you a glass of whatever Rick Perry is drinking?"
5. "Would you describe yourself as the litigious type?"
4. (Video: Newt Gingrich having sex with a vending machine)
3. "Baby, you're worth the forty grand in hush money"
2. "You don't know Gloria Allred, do you?"
1. "My tax plan is 9-9-9, but you're a 10-10-10"

There are about 12 more Republican presidential candidate debates left, which means that there will be at least 12 more lead changes in the polls. Every time one candidate jumps ahead, attention is paid to what they have been saying and reported on, making them appear to be the fools and craven liars they actually are. If there are any moderate Republicans left, they must be worrying if they'll ever be able to find a candidate who appears rational to the national audience.

After the last debate, and Herman Cain's melt-down over Libya, Newt Gingrich leaped towards the head of the pack, with a 32% approval rating. During the debate he answered the question, what did you do for the $300,000 that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac paid you, by saying that he answered some questions they had as a consultant, and did it in a historical way. No, he never has been a lobbyist ever in his life, ever, ever... Then the housing authorities answered that they had actually paid Newt over $1.6 million, and his job was to sell their housing policies to Republican Congressmen. So far, Newt has not offered to return the money, nor change his definitions of lobbying. It's lobbying when everyone else does it, and historical consulting when he does it. And don't quote him on anything that he's said before, because you will then be called a liar by Mr Gingrich, who keeps forgetting that its all recorded on the Internet...

Rachel Maddow contends that Herman Cain is not a serious presidential contender, that he is in reality an art project because he keeps making obscure references to cartoons and movies in his speeches. The most famous one is that his 9-9-9 economic plan was lifted from The Sims 4 computer game. Other rhyming lines in his speeches come from Chris Tucker in Rush Hour 3 (I'm the brother from another mother), and the Simpsons Movie (I'm a leader not a reader)... I keep getting spam links to Cain's 9-9-9 website, sent to me by an Ed Thurston, who is an automated software program named with reference to Thurston Howell 111 from Gilligan's Island???

I think that Herman being an art project to make pop culture references to see if we get them, may be giving too much intellectual credit to Mr Cain. He never reads a newspaper or magazine, is worse informed that Sarah Palin ever was, and doesn't seem capable of changing his ways, instead defends his ignorance. Personally, I think Herman Cain is a man who was selected by the Koch Brothers to be their black candidate, and he saw it as a way to rake in a few million. Which is why his wife has kept out of campaigning until she was dragged in by his previous sleazy behavior. The references to cartoons and black comic actors may be Herman Cain's idea of quick thinking - when pressed, his mind goes to these cliches that he has stored away in his unconscious, and they are retrieved when he can't think of anything else to say. There will be many more of these kind of moments if Mr Cain's candidacy continues, and he has to sit down and answer specific questions. In the past all he's had to do was walk away from reporters, and he won't be able to do that as much, not even with Fox News.

Jerry Sandusky, who currently is out on bail and seen showering at Penn state two weeks ago, is part of a lengthy past of paedophiles in the US. So far he has been classified as a loner, who used the charity he created to cull out young boys to have sexual relationships with. But investigators should look farther to see if he ties up with any paedophile rings, new or old. In the past there have been paedophile groups that included politicians, police chiefs and judges, rich businessmen, and celebrities. During the 1970's in Nebraska, their was a paedophile ring that had a wealthy businessman pimping out orphans from Father Flanagan's School for Boys, and also used runaway girls to populate cocktail parties for politicians (The Franklin Coverup). George HW bush is said to have attended a few... There have been other paedophile groups arrested in Los Angeles, St Petersburg, Russia, Japan, Thaland, Portugal, and in 14 other countries. Here in Colorado Springs we recently have had local police and soldiers from Fort Carson who have been arrested for being sexual predators with children.

The good news is that most child pornography sites on the Internet are traps set by the feds, who then capture your IP address and track your computer activities. They have over 100,000 they are tracking and spying on this way. In Pennsylvania, heads should roll for attempting to cover up these crimes for over 12 years, because it might affect the $70 million that football annually brings to the college. The charity Second Mile should be disbanded for not looking into previous allegations and gossip concerning Sandusky, and allowing the charity to be the predatory hunting grounds for little boys.

We definitely need to have more conversations on subjects like paedophillia and sexualizing our children. In Europe the age of consent is lower, and what we see as abuse, they take for granted as normal. But predatory behavior is never OK, and the real child porn sites involve infants and snuff films, things that you or I can't ever imagine happening to a kid, and using a religious based charity to fool innocent children into trusting you, is a good place to start telling these people that this behavior is not acceptable. Unfortunately, there is no cure for paedophillia, these folks are stuck with their obsessions for life, but we should at least be able to find a way for them to manage their obsessions, like quitting smoking. If we had a patch for that, would Jerry Sandusky take it? The only time he shows remorse is when he's been outed, and then it's fake remorse at that, similar to Herman Cain denying that he ever put his hand up a woman's skirt...

Friday, November 11, 2011

Clueless Cain Confounds Candidacy, Rick Perry Spends Over $400,000 Per Week To Forgive His Gaffes

"When Herman Cain was in charge of the National Restaurant Association, there were allegations of sexual harassment. They have revealed one came from Sara Lee." – David Letterman
"Turns out 999 was just his rating system: she's a 9, she's a 9, she's a 9." – Jay Leno

"Of course, Cain still doesn't get it. Like he said he will address all these charges at a press conference tomorrow at Hooters." – Jay Leno

Top Ten Signs Herman Cain Is Losing It

10. Plans to raise funds by suing himself for sexual harassment
9.  Now smokes more than his campaign manager
8.  Was recently found hiding in a drainpipe with a golden gun
7.  Keeps asking voters if they want to touch his mustache
6.  Claims Justin Bieber is his father
5.  Campaigning as his hilarious alter ego, Pee-Wee Herman Cain
4.  Just paid a visit to Dr. Conrad Murray
3.  Spent last of campaign funds betting on the Colts
2.  Gave rambling, drunken speech -- oh I'm sorry, that was Rick Perry
1.  He's engaged to Kim Kardashian

Well, I just had a few days lost in the ozone, consequences from not taking my daily meds. I also became very depressed, partly from the news last weekend that Israel was threatening to bomb Iran's nuclear facilities. I am so tired of writing negative things about Israel, why can't they just go back to their policy from before 1992, when Iran wasn't their largest existential threat? Having a #1 bogeyman ensures that the ruling party can control the country. Much of the manufactured paranoia begins in Israel, and if it works, becomes adopted in the US by Republican fearmongers. Prior to 1992 the two countries had diplomatic relations, and Israel even sold Iran weapons. Even now Israel enjoys eating pistachios grown in Iran that have been exported to Turkey, where they are relabeled and shipped into Israel, an open secret... I get soo tired of trashing the right wing policies of Benjamin Netanyahu, that I could easily commiserate with Nicholas Sarkozy calling Netanyahu a liar, and Obama trying to soothe him by saying yeah, but I have to deal with him almost every day... Just as we begin to see real hope in the changes going on in the Middle East, Israel wants to ruin it for everyone, all because their leaders are getting old and impotent... To add insult to injury, I had to find out from a television commercial from a lawyer, and not my doctor, the detrimental side effects from a prescription I had been taking for the past three years...

But the recent Republican debate helped to cheer me up. Thank god we have a bunch of dumbass losers running for the Republican ticket, because there are only 13 more debates scheduled until we vote and choose one of them. The theme of these debates seem to be who can appear more right wing than the others, except for John Huntsman, who sounds the most sane and reasonable. Unfortunately for John, his approval ratings went down from 3% before the debate, to 0% afterwards, being called Mit Light...

Most people tune into these verbal slug fests to see who will crash and burn in real time, and this last one did not disappoint. Rick Perry had a giant brain freeze, where he lost rack of his thoughts and melted under pressure; looking at his notes didn't help, al he could do was to admit he forgot and then went "oops!" A week before, Rick gave a bizarre performance while giving a speech, with giggling, slurring of his speech, and weird outbursts in the middle of a sentence. Everyone thought that he was drunk, though I thought he took too many anti-anxiety pills. With his brain freeze, he proved that he wasn't drunk at all - he's just a doufus, and incredibly stupid man who never has had to prove or defend himself on the public stage, and is sinking his campaign. However, he has guaranteed a large audience at the next couple of debates, just to see what embarrassing thing he will do next before he withdraws his candidacy. 60% of his campaign funds come from rich Texas boys, and if they get tired of his gaffes, he won't be able to afford campaigning anymore. According to Politico, the Perry campaign is: "currently spending more than $400,000 a week on television and radio advertising in Iowa, presenting a determinedly folksy appeal. He’s also spending more than $100,000 a week on television advertising in New Hampshire and more than that blanketing Granite State radio."

Herman Cain is glad that Rick Perry took the heat off of his behavior problems, of being accused of sexual harassment in the workplace several years ago. I'm going to say some things about Herman and it won't be pretty: Herman's campaign got its start being financed by the super-rich, super-right wing Koch brothers; he was their version of an Uncle Tom political candidate, a black man who had less of a sense of humor than Michael Steele. That Mr Cain had allegations of sexual harassment in his past came from his campaign staff not doing a thorough history, examining his past for anything potentially embarrassing. As to the truth of the allegations, the fact that there are more than two women who say that he was inappropriate probably means that he was. Or, in other words, he's a guy, so he's a pig...

What I find interesting, is that here we have a black man married to a black woman, yet making passes at white women, and none at black women. Does that mean he has anger issues with white women, or a need to be rejected by them? Also interesting, is the only other allegation of sexual harassment against a black man in the government was placed against Clarence Thomas, who is married to a white woman, and was made by a black woman... I'm sure there are endless hours of therapy that could come out of all this, but I'm reminded by a quote I saw in a documentary from the 1970's about Stax records. A young black woman was asked why so many black men seemed to be going around with with white women at the time. She replied that it was because black women just wouldn't put up with their shit...

The next debate is Saturday night. To make it a drinking game, you will have to down a shot every time that Rick Perry commits a gaffe, Herman Cain sidesteps a question about taking a lie detector test or mentions 9-9-9 instead, or Newt Gingrich says something condescending and mean to the journalists asking him questions... Also, down a shot if Michele Bachmann gives a coherent answer... I want to say something about Ron Paul, but I like the old curmudgeon, he's even freakier than me. If only he didn't resemble your creepy grandpa that tries to get along with the children every year and fails miserably...

Oh, and sorry to those two guys who have been emailing me with the same response and link to Herman Cain's website. I published you guys once out of courtesy, but doing it every time you send me an email would be obnoxious. Personally, I'm not impressed with an economic plan taken from a SimCity computer game, not even Herman is able to talk beyond the few talking points he's memorized. He has shown that he's not interested is learning about foreign policy, and the only reason we should vote for him is because he projects friendliness and self-confidence, unless you are a young white woman...

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

More Accusations Against Cain, That Randy Dog, Arab League Proposes Syrian Solution

Dana Milbank
Jesse Jackson

“Y’all were supposed to applaud,” - Herman Cain
"Herman Cain told a group of Occupy Wall Street protesters to go home, get a job, and get a life. That's the Republican version of hope and change, ladies and gentlemen." – Jay Leno
"That's why our blacks are so much better than their blacks." - Ann Coulter

David Letterman's "Top Ten Signs Herman Cain's Campaign Is In Trouble"

10. Can't afford cigarettes for new campaign ads
9. It's been fun, but there's no way we're actually electing a guy named 'Herman'
8. While campaigning, kissed a photo of himself and signed a baby
7. New campaign slogan 'Mayday!'
6. Even Michele O'Bachmann thinks his ideas are nuts
5. He trails Gadhafi's corpse in the polls
4. Refuses to acknowledge the road to the White House goes through me, Dave
3. He's acting less fun-crazy and more crazy-crazy
2. Just accepted million-dollar offer to pose nude in Playboy
1. There's a 0-0-0 chance he'll be president

I tell you, Herman Cain must be a psychic, the way that he can predict the future. When he told Fox News last weekend: “And the other thing that I would add is I’m sure there are going to be some more trumped up charges. People are going to try and dig up things.” Who knew that there would be a third woman coming forward to tell of sexual harassment from the Hermanator, including his invitation to her to come up and see him sometime at a corporate apartment he kept while being in top lobbyist of the US Restaurant Association... Dana Milbank, linked above, relates how Mr Cain quickly went from being Mr Nice Guy to the reporters asking him questions, to morphing into the Incredible Hulk, with bodyguards using elbows and fists to clear the way, as he refused to answer any more questions. It's a scene that fits in better in Syria or Yemen than in Washington, and the scrutiny of Mr Cain has barely begun. Like I said yesterday, its Mr Cain's anger and short fuse that will do him in, unless we find more pubic hairs on the Coke cans...

The biggest news story of the day was buried way back in the NY Times, that the Arab League went to Syria, made a proposal to end the violence, and the Syrian government accepted. The proposal is supposed to go into effect immediately, with the military and police to stop shooting and killing unarmed demonstrators. Supposedly, Bashar al Assad has been looking for a way out of the bloody corner he has painted himself into, and this allows his family to retain control and appear reasonable. The US responded that the only acceptable solution is for Bashar's family to step down. Bashar responded that Syria could easily be the next Afghanistan, so be careful what you wish for...

The Arab League is touting this a dawn of a new era in Middle Eastern politics, mainly because its the first time any country has listened to the Arab League and gone along with their suggestions. Whether they will have enough influence to steer a democratic government in Libya, or get the Egyptian Army to relinquish their strangle hold on the Egyptian government, remains to be seen. Who knows, maybe the rains of the Arab Spring will produce fields of flowers and crops instead of mud and quicksand...

But, just to be sure, and to ease the minds of the Iraqis who don't want us to leave their country, the US will be cramming as many troops into Kuwait as it can fit. Coupled with the predator drones and naval station in Bahrain, we are planning on having quick response units in case Iran responds to the next attack on them from Israel, err, I meant in case Iran moves troops into Iraq...

Monday, October 31, 2011

Next Mormon Migration, You Cain't Do That...

Ruth Marcus
Paul Krugman

David Letterman's "Top Ten Things Overheard At Moammar Gadhafi's Funeral"

10. 'Honestly, how the heck did he spell his name?'
9. 'It's a shame he didn't live long enough to promote himself above colonel'
8. 'Is it too soon to hit on the Ukrainian nurse?'
7. 'After the services, come back to the house for cake'
6. 'Where's his hot daughter Kim?'
5. 'And now, a few words from Moammar's closest friend, Loni Anderson'
4. 'At least he died doing what he loved best — begging for mercy in a storm drain'
3. 'Incoming!'
2. 'Nice of Leno to send flowers'
1. 'Let's bury this guy'

Last week the head of the rebel group setting up a new government in Libya made a statement that pissed off his female audience, according to the NY Times: "In announcing the success of the Libyan revolution and calling for a new, more pious nation, the head of the interim government, Mustafa Abdel-Jalil, also seemed to clear the way for unrestricted polygamy in a Muslim country where it has been limited and rare for decades.

It looked like a sizable step backward for women at a moment when much here — institutions, laws, social relations — is still in play after the end of Col. Muammar el-Qaddafi’s 42 years of authoritarian rule.

In his speech, Mr. Abdel-Jalil declared that a Qaddafi-era law that placed restrictions on multiple marriages, which is a tenet of Islamic law, or Shariah, would be done away with. The law, which stated that a first wife had to give permission before others were added, for instance, had kept polygamy rare here.

“This law is contrary to Shariah and must be stopped,” Mr. Abdel-Jalil told the crowd, vowing that the new government would adhere more faithfully to Shariah. The next day he reiterated the point to reporters at a news conference: “Shariah allows polygamy,” he said. Mr. Abdel-Jalil is known for his piety."

Mr Abdel-Jalil may also be known for his insensitivity and his basic ignorance, the Herman Cain of Libya... Women have been fighting against the polygamy thing for the past 40 years in the Middle East, and traditionally men only have one wife in Libya. Perhaps old Mustafa is having visions of himself as ruler, complete with harem and slaves. Has he sent out requests for Qaddafi's Swedish nurses to return?

The acceptance of old and out-dated laws shows the problems that will have to be debated in countries like Libya, Tunisia, and Egypt, as they try to balance old, old, old conservative views with more lenient modern ones while writing new constitutions for their countries. The response among women at Tripoli University was overwhelmingly negative: "“To follow Islamic rules is a good thing. To have many wives is not a good thing,” said a 24-year-old biology student, Awatif Alhjagi. “I’m worried. People that did not have that right before may now get four wives,” she said. “Because he talked about it, they probably will do it now.”

There was disquiet that Mr. Abdel-Jalil had zeroed in on the marriage issue in a relatively brief speech. Unprompted, the young women circulating in a university courtyard angrily brought up his comments.

“All the girls are mad that he said that,” said Bushra ben Omran, a 20-year-old English student. “I don’t want to marry somebody who is already married.”

“He should not have said this in his speech,” Ms. Omran added. “He didn’t focus on all the injured people” from the revolution, she said. “I didn’t expect this.”

Rehab Zehany, 20, who said Mr. Abdel-Jalil was merely following the dictates of the Koran, added, when asked if she would accept her husband taking a second wife: “Of course not! I would kill him!”

The response in America was immediate: Mit Romney and John Huntsman announced that they might have to withdraw their presidential candidacies so they could lead their people to the next promised land. Conveniently, someone found some gold tablets buried in Indiana that predicted this would happen: their book of Mormon was trance written by an angel named Moroni, Libya was ruled for 40 years by a Moron; the coincidences are too close to be interpreted any other way... It looks like polygamy is the new "in" fad to practice, officially endorsed by every fugitive follower of Warren Jeff, and now old men who dye the color of their beards in Libya. wouldn't it just be cheaper to buy them some Viagra and send them home???

No He Cain't! 

The latest screw-up by the Herman Cain campaign was in response to two women who said that while Herman was CEO of Godfather's Pizza, they were paid a settlement fee on a claim that he sexually harassed them...

At first, Herman claimed that there never were any accusations to Fox News: "During an earlier appearance at the American Enterprise Institute, Mr. Cain declined to address questions about the harassment allegations. But during the appearance on Fox, Mr. Cain for the first time confirmed that he had been the subject of the accusations. In the Fox interview, he did not talk in detail about the allegations against him, but called them “totally false.”

Then, a few hours later, he went on the attack: "Herman Cain called the accusations of sexual harassment against him “a witch hunt” and said he had been falsely accused while the head of the National Restaurant Association in the 1990s. “It was concluded after a thorough investigation that it had no basis,” Mr. Cain said to questions by Mark Hamrick, the president of the press club after Politico first reported on the allegations. “I am unaware of any settlement. I hope it wasn’t for much, because I didn’t do anything.”

In the press club remarks, Mr. Cain said that he had “recused myself” during the investigation into the charges made by the women. He derided the report in Politico as being based on “anonymous sources.”

“We are not going to chase anonymous sources, when there are no basis for the accusation,” Mr. Cain said. “I have never sexually harassed anyone and those accusations are totally false.”

In her column, linked above, Ruth Marcus talks how Mr Cain's campaign staff should have uncovered this news tidbit, so they would have a better excuse if it ever came up. It's standard operating procedure to leave no stone unturned about your candidate...

But what bothers me is the anger that Herman barely conceals whenever he is confronted, challenged, or asked to explain his views. It is a sign of an ego that won't allow a person to listen, and anger is not the first response I want in a President.

Barack Obama was elected because he was seen as an even-handed response to a hot- headed administration that was all Dick Cheney's way or the highway. It was refreshing to find someone willing to think a situation through before responding to it... Of course, now Obama is being criticized for always doing just that, and we fickle viewers of the national scene want more spectacle and drama from our politicians. On that, Herman delivers...

Thursday, October 27, 2011

What Rough Beast is Slouching Towards Damascus?...

"They found Gaddafi in a hole with a gun and luggage, or as it's known here, the middle class." – Bill Maher

"These Republicans, they will not give credit. They gave credit to the rebels, to the British, and to the French. But they would not mention the president. It was like they were on a game show and the password was 'Obama.' They're like the banks; they will not give a black man credit." – Bill Maher, on Qaddafi's death

"I'm guessing our soldiers are happy to be leaving Iraq. It is no fun being in a country where there's crumbling infrastructure and an ignorant population, but they said they're happy to come home anyway." – Bill Maher

I suppose it was a good thing that the body of Moammar Qaddafi was buried in a secret place. The reason given was they didn't want his burial place to become a shrine, or have his body dug up by loyalists and have fetishes made from his body parts... As it is now, in a few years, when the myths have grown to rival the conspiracy theories, we'll have the Qaddafi cultists prowling the desert at night, hoping to pull off a Graham Parsons ceremony. The only thing missing are the joshua trees; maybe the state of California will export some, making part of the Libyan desert into a theme park of sorts... Does the fact that both Osama bin Laden and Moammar Qaddafi were shot and killed instead of captured and put on trial mean that the Western style of judicial system has become as bankrupt as its economic system?

The problem once a dictator who has been in power for a long time passes, is that the people have forgotten how to make decisions for themselves. Can the groups that were the rebels work together to organize and plan a working government? Tunisia's hassle free election on Sunday should give its neighbors inspiration. It remains to be seen if the other Arab countries can put enough pressure on Bashar Assad in Syria, to stop being a vicious jerk, but that whole family may be too delusional to listen to any reality-based suggestions. I can't believe how long the protests have gone on in Syria and Yemen, and what a transformation if those stubborn old men leave peacefully. Because it's been shown that one way or another they will leave, there's a secret spot in the Libyan desert now being reserved just for them...

It's hard to believe that all of the protests throughout the Middle East, and probably the world, was sparked by one man who set himself on fire. When I was a kid, one of the most powerful images I witnessed was when a Vietnamese monk immolated himself in protest to the coming war. Yet, recently there have been nine Tibetan monks and nuns who have immolated themselves to protest the Chinese policies in Tibet, and the Chinese government insistence that they will be making the choices of who the successors are to reincarnating Lamas. I would bet that the Chines government has adopted the Ogden Nash rule on lamas:

The one-L lama,
He's a priest.
The two-L llama,
He's a beast.
And I would bet
A silk pajama
There isn't any
Three-L lllama.

The longer that the Occupy Wall Street protests last in places like Denver and Oakland, the more our police departments look like the Syrian military. The problem is that the occupiers have set themselves up without a graceful exit strategy, without an attainable goal where they can say that they have won, sort of like the US in Afghanistan. Hey, Goldman Sachs posted its first quarter loss, and the business section of the NY Times is full of stories of banks and businesses who are sitting on piles of cash,waiting for god knows what before they start lending and spending again. Maybe they are waiting for the Bat Signal, or Newt Gingrich to hold his breath until he turns blue, but one can't help wonder if these banks aren't in collusion with the Republican Party, willfully withholding helping to stimulate the economy as long as a Black Democrat is in office... Then, sure, I'd surely join in the nearest demonstration, as long as it wasn't in Oakland...

Friday, October 21, 2011

Moammar We Hardly Knew Ya...

Ruth Marcus
Maureen Dowd
"You got to feel bad for poor Mitt Romney. He's in their plugging every week, and every week somebody gets ahead of him. The people who have led Mitt so far: Donald Trump, then Michele Bachmann, then Rick Perry, now Herman Cain. He's been led a reality show star, a crazy lady, a stuttering cowboy, and the guy who brings the pizza. That's gotta hurt a little." – Bill Maher

"Herman Cain's plan to save the economy is '9-9-9.' He keeps saying it every day like the Count on Sesame Street. Well, this week we finally found out where he got it from. Not from an economist. He got it up from the guy who works at his local Wells Fargo branch. Literally, it's like he went down to deposit checks, and the teller said, 'Can I help with anything else?' And he said, 'Yeah, can you re-write the tax code?'" – Bill Maher

"Rick Perry got the date of the American revolution wrong by two centuries. What is it with the right wing? Michele Bachmann doesn't know where the 'Shot Heard 'Round the World' took place, Sarah Palin doesn't know why Paul Revere went on his ride, Rick Perry doesn't know that 1776 happened in the 1700's. These aren't gotcha questions. I know this sounds mean about Rick Perry, but if was a child, you'd leave him behind." – Bill Maher

"This Occupy Wall Street movement is now in 1,500 places all around the world. I was at the Occupy Beverly Hills today. It's two Jews at Starbucks complaining that the scones aren't fresh, but still it's a start." – Bill Maher

with apologies to the Moody Blues:

Moammar Qaddafi's dead.
No, no, no, no, He's outside looking in.
Moammar Qaddafi's dead.
No, no, no, no, He's outside looking in.
He'll fly his US bought plane,
Set his tent up around the bay,
And lecture you the same day,
Moammar Qaddafi. Moammar Qaddafi.

Along the coast you'll hear them boast
About his compound that is filled with fear.
So raise your glass, we'll drink a toast
To the little man who tells you
 now the coast is clear.

The jig was up, missiles brought him down,
Dragged by his feet firmly on the ground.
He flies so high, he swoops so low,
He knows exactly which way he's gonna go.
Moammar Qaddafi. Moammar Qaddafi.

He'll fly his US bought plane.
Set his tent up around the bay.
He'll lecture you the same day.
Moammar Qaddafi. Moammar Qaddafi.
Moammar Qaddafi. Moammar Qaddafi.
Moammar Qaddafi.

“Ben Ali escaped, Mubarak is in jail, Qaddafi was killed. Which fate do you prefer, Ali Abdullah Saleh? You can consult with Bashar.”

Altogether, these past few years have not been kind to dictators, especially in the Middle East. It began with the fall of the Berlin Wall and the Soviet Empire, and now has spread through the Middle East like a wildfire. Unfortunately, those who did not get out of the way suffered in the end. Riyadh, Saudi Arabia is home to one errant dictator, and shelter of another, and they have propped up yet another dictator in Bahrain. If Yemen and Syria shed their dictatorial families, the politics of the region will have been changed forever. A test case in what to do after someone is deposed comes up this Sunday, with elections in Tunisia.

All of these protests and revolutions started out peaceful and non-violent, escalating into military action after the governments shot and killed unarmed civilians. The ultimate bloody results happened with pulling Moammar Qaddafi out of a drainage culvert, then shooting him execution style,and bringing his body back to town for viewing. (one o the secret places that Qaddafi had, was his place to watch porn. This makes me wonder if all dictators have their places to watch porn and if there's any special themes that might be commonly enjoyed between Qaddafi and bin Laden and perhaps Bashar Assaud...) Perhaps we can thank wahabism and al Qaeda for promoting their extremist views, which have only resulted in needless deaths by suicide bombers, and resentment among normal folks. Which is why the vast majority of Muslims preferred a peaceful approach to getting their message across.

I wish that life after Qaddafi and Mubarak and Ben Ali was going to be all rosy and positive, but they have left behind dysfunctional governments that may never be able to guarantee basic human rights, and their armies are sorely tempted to take over in a coup. They could easily devolve into becoming another Pakistan, and if their are enough Iranians salting the mix, end up with their share of paranoia and conspiracy fantasies.

The biggest loser in this soupy muddle are the Israelis. They could have shown more solidarity with the movements towards democracy, but that will never happen as long as the right wingers and Benjamin Netanyahu are in charge. The biggest winner is the US, and maybe France, whose role in this region is constantly changing, first you love us, then you hate us, then we invade someone until you love us again as we withdraw...

So, good-bye to an era, of colonial powers and client states, having the British deciding on the borders and which tribe would rule. Good-bye to allowing dictators to rule for years and years, and letting protests bloom if they disagree with your policies. Good-bye to religious intolerance and hello to dervish dancing and music. Good-bye to propaganda on television and hello to cellphones and the Internet. Who will design the next Facebook and Youtube for the Middle East?

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Change Iran Can Believe In, The Hermanator Scam

Roger Cohen
Paul Krugman
"The Occupy Wall Street protests continued in New York City. Today the protests have been going on for four weeks now. That's longer than most NBC sitcoms last." – Jimmy Kimmel
"Herman Cain has moved ahead of Mitt Romney. Can you believe that? Political analysts say this is because Americans don't understand Mormonism but they do understand pizza." – Conan O'Brien
"The Republicans had yet another debate the other night. This is their seventh one. They're apparently going to keep having these debates until Rick Perry can get one right." – Jay Leno

"The Saudi government is upset about this plot to assassinate their ambassador. As you know, Saudi Arabia condemns all acts of terrorism unless, of course, they're sponsoring them." – Jay Leno

Nothing really major happened over the weekend, unless you lived in the Phillipines or Southeast Asia, where the monsoons are even worse than last year. Both co-leaders of Iran gave lectures to the press, saying it wasn't our illustrious generals who were smoking the wacky weed; the so called assassination plot is a fiction by the Americans to divert attention away from their own economic problems. I'm trying to find something funny in that, except its probably true. Lord knows, Eric Holder is trying to divert attention away from the botched gun running activities of the DEA and Justice Dept is accused of letting continue on the border...

The more conservative leaders in Iran feel that President Ahmadinejad oftens plays the fool and presents a less than dignified portrayal of their country, and they are tired of having other world leaders laugh and make fun of them. In his speech, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei warned Ahmadinejad that Iran doesn't have to have the kind of government that has a presidency, that they can just as easily change over to a parliamentary style if he continues with his temper tantrums. This maybe the change they can believe in... So far, no reporter has been able to interview the guy who could answer most of the questions, did he come up with the plan all by himself, or did he have tutoring from some Qud generals and drug cartel informants...

With all of the focus on the high drama of the GOP candidate's debates and the collective whining of our congressmen, not much press has been given to what Barack Obama has been up to. This will change once we get into 2012 and election modes go into full swing, in a pretense to being fair and balanced. Pundits want to be the first to proclaim that it will be Mitt Romney who will be the Republican candidate, and the tea party folks will compromise and come around.

The slurs against the Mormons are beginning, and it will intensify during December and January. It's hard to come to the defense of Mormonism because yes, it really is a cult, and even the most politically correct liberal have a hard time generating enough indignant energy.

The stories of Herman Cain giving himself money from his campaign coffers is beginning to be reported, so it seems that I was justified in claiming that Mr Cain is out to scam the public. Donate your money, buy his book, and help this man secure his retirement, so he can fade from view just like Ross Perot did. But it sure beats trying to make a living as an inspirational speaker, entitled The Hermanator Experience...

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Herman Cain Wuz Scammed, Rick Perry Scams Us, Those Naive Qud Generals

Bruce Riedel
Paul Krugman
"One of the guys accused of organizing the Iranian plot to kill the Saudi ambassador is a used car salesman from Texas. Just when you thought terrorists couldn't get any lower." – Jay Leno

"Rick Perry's advisers said he prepared for the last debate by getting a lot more sleep. Apparently, he did it during the debate." – Jay Leno

"At one point, Rick Aantorum was interrupted by a gay heckler. But then Michele Bachmann told her husband, 'Just shut up and sit down.'" – Jay Leno

Surprise surprise! The big swinging dicks of Wall Street may think that the protesters are lazy, naive hippies, but today there were Occupy Wall Street protests in over 900 cities world-wide. Commerce may be the lifeblood of our civilization, but ripping people off is not...

In the aftermath of the US revelations about the Iranian assassination screw-up, those pundits with vast knowledge of the professional ways of the Quds Force branch of the Revolutionary Guards all say that it just doesn't sound like how they would conduct business. Even the Ayatollah Khamenei dismisses it as so much American fantasy... But, let's be honest, the Revolutionary Guard is like most armies that haven't fought a battle in over 30 years, over-hyped and more interested in commerce and the easy intimidation of Iranian citizens and Iraqi nationals.

For a country whose top leaders don't get out much, and Mr Khamenei hasn't traveled much outside of his housing compound since 1979, they tend to rely more on the CNN headlines to tell them how the world works, and their viewpoint is flat and two-dimensional. When this naive type of person watches al Jazeera and sees coverage of Mexican drug cartels murdering people in great batches at a time, it's easy to assume that the enemy of your enemy could be hired to be your friend. And just as easy to believe that the cousin of a great Quds general is also a great person, not some poor used car salesman barely scraping by, dreaming of any kind of score involving easy money... If the cursed Israelis and Americans can kill off our scientists on our soil, it makes perfect sense to kill some of theirs on their own soil. And if the American President can have a hit list that justifies killing, why can't the leaders of every other nation have one, too?

Herman Cain got scammed, and he's just now figuring it out. Turns out that his much touted 9-9-9 economic plan was lifted from the 2003 edition of SimCity. Turns out that Mr Cain doesn't do any fact checking before putting it on his website, and in interviews he has said that his economic advisors are two guys that he has to keep secret, and one guy that works in a branch office of a Ohio Wells Fargo... Either his secret advisors are Beavis and Butthead, and they are snickering at the tube every time he mentions 9-9-9, or Mr Herman Cain is also scamming the American people. After all, he has taken a page from Sarah Palin's playbook and gone on booktour...

Rick Perry unveiled his solution to the jobs problem on Friday, and it proved to be a huge dud. Not only wasn't it original, but he copied from an industry report endorsed by the American Petroleum Institute. Mr Perry pretty much proves that he wasn't that great of a student... Basically, he wants to open up all Federal land to oil and natural gas exploration. It would mean more profit for the oil companies, and not much money to us for the oil leases; critics have said that it would not add any more jobs unless you are an unemployed geologist...

I figure that the reason most extreme conservatives are so dumb, is because its too difficult to both think while keeping their anuses puckered so tight...