Let It Rain Egyptian NGO's, Next Stealth Technology

"New Rule: Someone has to tell Francesco Schettino that embracing a callous policy of "every man for himself" doesn't make you a sea captain. It makes you the Republican nominee." - Bill Maher

"New Rule: The NAACP must take Newt Gingrich up on his offer to stand in front of the their convention and tell them why black people should want jobs instead food stamps. This way I can finally answer a question that's been bugging me for years: can Newt Gingrich run?" – Bill Maher

"President Obama was in Disney World to introduce a new plan to boost tourism in the United States. And also because the Mickey Mouse ears fit perfectly over his real ones." – Jimmy Kimmel

"Yesterday in Florida, President Obama kissed a woman on the cheek after she told him he looks good. Which explains why last night, Michelle made him sleep on Air Mattress One." – Jimmy Fallon

I was reading an opinion piece by a friend of Sam LaHood in the Daily Beast. She didn't have much to say except that she was sorry that Egypt wouldn't let him leave the country while his non-governmental organization was under investigation, and that several leaders of NGO's are hiding out at the US Embassy. His NGO promotes democracy, whatever that really means, in 75 countries, and is so obviously a front for the CIA that it would take a dumb sixth-grader not to make the connection. One statistic she revealed in her pity piece is that there are currently about 300 NGO's under investigation in Egypt...

Whoa, stop right there. I knew that aid organizations and other NGO's were a money making scam, raking in over $6 billion last year in Afghanistan and Iraq alone, but that's a lot for one country. Though, the rent on office space is a major factor in buoying up the economy, such as it is... Almost every other country in the world seems to have some kind of organization administering a project in Egypt, which may prove how much the intelligence industry has grown and thrived since we first rolled tanks into Baghdad... If we assume that 20 out of the 300 organizations are CIA fronts, then who is funding the other 280? Or, is the US funding them all, including another 300 local groups? One umbrella organization, the America Development Foundation, states on its website: "One of ADF’s major projects in Egypt has been the NGO Service Center, a seven-year, US$33.7 million development activity of USAID to strengthen the capacities of Civil Society Organizations to effectively, responsibly and sustainably contribute to Egypt’s social and political development. The NGO Service Center (the Center) was a leading activity in the Democracy and Governance portfolio of USAID/Egypt under Strategic Objective #21: “Egyptian Initiatives in Governance and Participation Strengthened.”


The Center served as an umbrella mechanism to manage sub-grants and assistance to over 600 Egyptian NGOs..." No wonder the Afghan War is costing us so much money. The Pentagon is asking for $88 billion for this next year...

We use these groups to hire locals to build things for their cities, give food to the poor, and administer health services, all on a grander scale than we have here in the US. This is the price countries pay for allowing our spies and mercenaries to roam about, seeking targets for the next military adventure, another chapter in the book of Seal Team 6...

Anyway, back to Sam LaHood. Dude, you're not in any jail cell, you get to stay at home with your servants you hired with taxpayer money, and go to the office and pretend that you are doing something important. Most projects funded by NGO's are abandoned before they are finished, or are sub-standardly built to fall apart, or never get off the planning table so you can pocket the money or give it away in bribes. You signed on to enjoy the Egyptian culture, and you are still insulated from the more dangerous elements, so thank you and good luck. We'll cancel a lobbying contract in your name, that'll show 'em.

Recently, China publicly announced a successful test flight for their first stealth fighter jet. They were accused of obtaining most of the technology from buying parts of jets that had crashed in the Balkans, and getting the rest from countries like Russia. But the US could just as easily given it up. We sell stealth jets all the time to our allies. Countries like Turkey could lend one to Iran for reverse engineering, or India or South Korea to China...

 Not to mention what you can purchase on the black market, so much cool stuff as technology advances. One firm in Austin, Texas claims to have created the ultimate in stealth technology: it was able to make a 3D object appear invisible... This means that a CIA agent could be sitting next to you right now, and the only thing you might notice is their heavy breathing... Finally, our technology is catching up to 1950's pulp fiction... They have done so well, that the American Psychiatric Association is re-writing their diagnostic manuals, redefining what they now believe autism is. That's right, they no longer believe in Austinism...

Putin Despises Russia, Israel and Iran Conjoined, Perry Can Still Kick Your Miserable Butt

With all of the irrational, bizarre behavior going on in the world, you might think we were in the middle of summer, with temperatures in excess of 100 degrees, making everyone bitchy and mean.. Putin is getting ready for his landslide re-election in a couple of months, but he's hedging his bets by not allowing his main opponent on the ballot. He's forcing people to attend support rallies for the camera opportunity, although he hasn't made them take their shirts off or hunt for wild animals yet...

Iran has been in the news a lot, for all of the same old stuff, and the Israelis are getting hysterical, saying now is the best window of opportunity to bomb Iran's nuclear facilities, and it will soon be gone. They can't wait for a Republican president who will rubber stamp whatever insane ideas they come up with. Will the Israel lobby support a Mormon? Are they more than strangers in the night?.. Iran is having a difficult time with their economy, and if they lose major oil revenues, it may send it spiraling downwards enough to spark a regime changing revolution. The rial dropped 8% last week, and people are hoarding dollars in expectation that the rial may soon be worthless. And, as we always know, nothing helps the economy like a good war economy...

Some countries are getting tired of being fiscally responsible, like Zimbabwe in Africa. They are switching their currency over to the yuan, finally proving that China is a dominant player in the region. We can take our head out of the sand, now. We pretended that nothing was wrong when China bought up all of the land and businesses surrounding the Panama Canal, and ignored the amount of arms and explosives in the Middle East that came from China, almost as much guns and ammo as sold by the US and Germany...

It's been one year since Tunisia and Egypt rose up and got rid of their dictatorial leaders, what many have called the Arab Spring. Always makes me think of a bar of soap, which isn't a bad analogy, either. But Egypt isn't faring too well. Their military is still in charge and dictating policy, and refuses to give up any power, telling the young revolutionaries how it will be instead of working with them. The Muslim Brotherhood, which used to be outlawed, won many of the parliamentary elections, although its not as bad as we make it out to be. Finally, the economy has slumped this past year, and reserves have dropped to $10 million, which can keep the country afloat about a month and a half. If Egypt cannot solve these problems in a positive way, then it may well devolve back into a strong man dictator style of government, with a ruthless police and military, only this time it will be the government setting its citizens on fire, much like what's happening in Syria... One way out may be to hire out the Egyptian Army as mercenaries and march into Syria to stop the Assad government's insane tactics. They are so filled with blood-lust, that all reason has fled, and they are killing women and children, its OK as long as they are killing someone. The rats are leaving the country, it is getting ready to sink. Even Hamas has left Damascus, with the public head of Hamas saying that he is retiring to his cottage in Dubai...

Here at home, the GOP powers that be have taken aim at Newt Gingrich. They remember how reckless he was as Speaker of the House, and how mean he was to everyone. Now its payback time... Lots of ads in Florida saying what a crummy character Newt has, and out to lunch policy ideas on things like a colony on the moon. It might backfire, if the subtext that Newt also won't be their puppet and do exactly what they tell him to do, like they know Mit Romney would. Mit may be rich, but he's still a tool... Another secret, revealed during this last debate, is if you first come out and attack Newt, it throws him off his game, and he will retreat in pain and confusion, wussy that he is... doesn't it make you wish that all of the primaries and caucuses should be held all together this coming Tuesday? Then it might give the Florida primary some meaniing, instead of the red herring that is being bloated by the media, pretending that it is a whale...

Republicans in Texas were shocked by Rick Perry's poor performance on the national stage. Democrats are feeling even worse, because that dumb-ass alcoholic loser has been kicking their asses for the last 10 years. If he has dominated them at the polls, what sad excuses for politicians are they? If you can think of a good answer, let me know...

I Begin In Florida and Somehow End Up In Mexico...

"Last night folks, Republicans held their eighteenth debate. The question on everyone's mind: Who cares?" – Stephen Colbert

"After Iowa and New Hampshire, Newt's campaign looked terminally ill, which is when he generally moves on to something better." – Stephen Colbert

“Rick Santorum (is taking) fire from the left. He may want to get a Kevlar sweater vest.” – Stephen Colbert

"We were ready for Romney to win the Republican nomination, so we had our puns ready: 'Bright Lights, Big Mitty,' 'Mittizen Bain,' and "Mormon-y, Less Problems." But then ... 'The Gingrich Who Stole South Carolina.'" – Jon Stewart

Someone please hit me in the head with a hammer, there's the 19th Republican candidate's debate tonight. Yes, they have been wonderfully entertaining, but also awfully boring with the same cast of characters, like life with the Kardashian sisters... And again, it will be another two hours not allowing Ron Paul to speak... The hype has all been on the ads run by Gingrich and Romney campaigns, telling what bad citizens the other guy is, no GOP solidarity to be seen for miles and miles. Throw in the fruitcake who was elected governor, and you have a fine mix, indeed. And, after the primaries, all the Obama campaign has to do is buy up the Republican ads against the Republican candidate, and have Obama appear at the end, saying "I approve this message..."

I just read my last post; what a disjointed, depressing mess it is. It shows that I could use a good editor. I suck at typing, and the keyboard on my laptop does weird things, like the cursor jumping around the page, so if I stop typing and then begin again without looking for the cursor, the rest of my sentence appears in another paragraph somewhere on the page. I missed making my main point with the rising rate of suicide, alcohol abuse, domestic violence, and oxycontin abuse in the military - that they either have to change the military culture, or find a better way to help soldiers decompress once they come home from war. Right now it looks like their only plan for the future is to use less boots on the ground, and to use a variety of drones to replace them.

Of course, drones were a part of the last two successful operations by Seal Team 6, but the most effective parts, shooting bin Laden and putting his body in a bag, and in Somalia, by killing off the drugged pirates in the middle of the night, were done by well-trained soldiers. This combination, of using drones and smaller teams making surgical strikes, is what the Pentagon is aiming for. We save money by having less troops to support, and drones are cheaper to build than multi-million dollar jets. One solution has been the proliferation of mercenary companies, touting themselves as professional security outfits. The US State Dept still is using 5000 mercenaries to guard the embassy staff in Iraq, while the Iraqi government is making it harder for other companies to renew their licenses and gun permits. Though the mercenaries continue to use the US for their major meal ticket, they are following the CIA around the world, wandering from continent to continent, hoping for work that needs to be contracted out. Hence, there are now 1,400 mercenary companies registered with the Mexican government, with an estimated 8,000 more working below the radar.

In Mexico, the ex-US trained troops meet and clash with the drug cartels ex-US trained henchmen. Yes, one by-product with the influx of Hispanic population over the last few years, has been the young men who sign up for US military service, get rained in all aspects of modern technological warfare, then go back home to become soldiers in the drug cartels. It's one reason the DEA has been outgunned and is losing the war on drugs...

Here in Colorado, we may have an initiative on the ballot this Fall, legalizing marijuana use. We already have a liberal law allowing medical marijuana use. I keep wondering why I haven't tried to get one, I'm certain that it would help my sister on days when her Crohn's disease, or those days when I can hardly hobble around the house... Anyway, the DEA has been making raids in Colorado and California on many of the larger growing operations, to discourage placing the initiative on the ballot in these two states. Colorado is a funny place, with displaced Texans nudging up the bar along with ex-Californians, and the ex-military guys pretending to see who can be the most conservative sounding group, yet most indigenous folks sit back and indulge in a joint or two, enjoying the show. Our legislature is one of the few that can work together if they have to, despite all of the whines and whimpers. And, by God, we have the best tasting water in the whole country, even from the tap... What we don't have, are decent mid-priced restaurants owned by locals...

Fortunately for the part of our economy that centers around foreign wars, all GOP candidates, except for Ron Paul, are hawks who pledge to become the world's top cop, dragging whomever promises to be our allies along with us. And it looks like the next operation for Seal Team 6 may be in Tehran, if for no other reason to prove that a successful operation can be run in Iran...

Supreme Court Puts Lipstick On Our Pigs, Military Suicides On Rise

"Newt Gingrich's ex-wife went on nightline and said that he wanted to have an open marriage. This is the second wife, talking about him when he was fooling around with what became the third wife. Newt wanted apparently to have his wife and his marriage and also women on the side giving him oral sex. This way he could be nice and relaxed when he went to work and accused blacks of feeling entitled." – Bill Maher

"I have not seen anything this surreal since they cancelled 'Twin Peaks.' What else can you say about a Republican debate when the rich guy, who’s avoiding taxes – which they like, gets booed and the fat creep into threesomes gets a standing ovation?" – Bill Maher, on Romney and Gingrich in the CNN debate

"Newt was mad. He said 'I am not a philanderer; I am a blow job creator.'" – Bill Maher

"Newt said this is despicable to ask these questions. Why are we dwelling on the past? We should be concentrating on the future and putting America's children back to work." – Bill Maher

The Supreme Court unanimously rejected California's new slaughterhouse rule, in favor of places that see no problem with grinding up a horse or pig that cannot walk. The California law "requires the immediate euthanasia of “downer” animals and bars their slaughter or sale." Pig Magazine (no, I'm not making this up!) estimates that from 100,000 to one million pigs suffer from pig fatigue, where they cannot get up and walk around. They are still used for food and footballs after a federal inspector inspects them to make sure they are not diseased... Makes you stop and think before buying those baby back ribs...

The Supreme Court said that existing federal law should take care care of the problem, while the state of California said that the federal inspectors were lazy, if they bothered to show up at all. The other courts sided with California, as Adam Liptak relates in the NY Times: "The United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit, in San Francisco, ruled that there was no conflict between the California law and the federal one because the state had merely disqualified certain kinds of animals from being used for food. “States aren’t limited to excluding animals from slaughter on a species-wide basis,” Chief Judge Alex Kozinski wrote for a unanimous three-judge panel of the court. “States are free to decide which animals may be turned into meat.”


Justice Kagan briskly rejected that analysis. “We think not,” she wrote.

The meat industry is filled with dodgy practices that would make you think twice before eating that Taco Bell burrito. At one point they would take all of the leftover parts that didn't make the cut, and grind them down into a slurry that they either fed to the cows, or sold it to places like McDonald's and Taco Bell. Its a disgusting practice that makes me think of soylent green for us humans, and might be where the idea came from, poor cows made to eat that sludge, which was banned by Britain as an import...

Something like this is what I think about when the word disgusting is bandied about, as Newt Gingrich lit into John King at the opening of the South Carolina debate. Newt's treatment of his ex-wives is so horrible that it will come up a lot in the future, as independent minded folks try to decide whom to support on the Republican side. The long primary season has often been likened to the walk as the animals are led into the slaughterhouse, their frightened eyes staring blindly into the television cameras as they try to think of an answer to that mean question that Newt has asked... The best drinking game is to have a drink or another beer every time Newt says something mean or condescending: then you'd be as drunk and rowdy as the crowd at Newt's South Carolina victory party. Say what you want about the South, they can turn anything into a party... Judging by last night's debate, Mit and Newt are trying to hard to knock each other down, that they've forgotten all of the finesse. It's certainly not scoring any points among the younger generations, who think its disgusting and ugly watching their grandparents squabble in public, yet still seeming so out of touch with any real issues facing our nation.

With all the rhetoric about creating jobs, go out to your local business district or shopping mall. How many businesses have closed down? If they were a mom and pop kind of store, there's no way that it will ever come back, and the family who owned it has exhausted all of their own money, and probably owes the bank thousands of dollars. The banks now make it harder to get a loan, so there won't be many other small businesses to rise up and take their place. Soon, we all will have to shop at our local Wal-Mart... The only thing that the government can do is hire government workers, adding more to an inefficient bureaucracy where most don't even do the jobs they were hired for. Don't forget the employees hired by Dick Cheney's office, whose job it was to burrow into the sector where they were placed, and purposely do a bad job, acting as a conservative monkey-wrench that results in anger over how crappy the government works... And I haven't even touched on laziness and the GS ratings... It doesn't matter, unless we start over from scratch and rebuild a more streamlined bureaucracy, it won't matter if a Democrat or Republican is elected president, as the surrounding government structure still pisses people off by their excesses, their laziness, and sense of entitlement; there will always be a certain percentage of the population offended by this. This anger can be pretty powerful, it inspired revolutions in the Middle East, propelled the tea party here in the US.

Probably the most dangerous use of our bureaucracy has been trying to stop the suicide rate of our active duty military. The rate has increased each year, with last year being the highest toll, and has left Army Generals bewildered and stymied. Alcohol abuse and domestic violence has risen, also. If you are a retired military personnel, well, they don't keep as good records on you, who knows how crazy you've become...

Another statistic just released says that about 20% of our population is mentally disturbed, about the same percentage that is considered to be extreme right wing conservatives... That's two out of ten people who probably are taking neuroleptic prescription drugs. The number one abused prescription drug among military and non-military alike, goes to oxycontin. It has inspired my new bumper sticker that acknowledges this problem:

Oxycontin - Its Not Just For Right Wing Talk Show Hosts Anymore

One of my father's favorite sayings, I don't know why he said it to us kids a lot while we were growing up, was: "sometimes I think that the whole world has gone mad, except for me and thee, and lately I have begun wondering about thee..."

Newt's Fake Moral Outrage, Spy Kids

“I am appalled that you would begin a presidential debate on a topic like that,” - Newt Gingrich

David Letterman's "Top Ten Signs Mitt Romney Is Getting Cocky"

10. Answers all questions with, "So's your mother"
9. Offered Santorum a 10,000-vote head start in South Carolina primary
8. He's forwarding his mail to the White House — Wow, that's cocky
7. Skipping next three primaries to go on tour with Young Jeezy
6. Started selling his own commemorative presidential plates on QVC
5. Donated $50,000 to Rick Perry's campaign
4. Now spelling "Mittt" with three T's
3. Ended debate by taking out wad of bills and "making it rain"
2. Wants to rename states Mittchigan, Mittsouri, Mittsissippi, and New Mittsico
1. Offered to help Newt with his concession speech

Newt Gingrich has found his niche, the call that invariably invokes the right response. Attack the questioners at the debate, receive a standing ovation... It seems to be the conservative, white, racist way of sticking it to the man, which is a form of craziness in itself, but works in places like Iowa and South Carolina. The predictability of Newt the attack muffin repeating this behavior in the next debate on Monday is around 100%. We tune into these debates hoping to see a Rick Perry melt down or make embarrassing statements. Proving that the best defense is an aggressive offense, Newt immediately lambasted moderator John King for asking the open marriage question. But he laid it on too thick, and I didn't quite believe his moral outrage, so I couldn't forgive him for his sins. He layered the cheese a little too thick on the Southern crackers...

In response, this morning many media pundits are saying that Newt has a good chance to ultimately beat out Romney for GOP presidential candidate. He's made more enemies within his own party than Mit has, so revenge might be sweeter when it comes time to throw him under the bus at the convention, and pulling a Jeb Bush out of a hat... After Newt got kicked out of Congress, it seems he made a deal with a demon, and her name is Callista. She is responsible for his transformation, from a broke-down, political hack, into a well-baked conservative muffin, who smells nice coming out of the oven, but is still frosted with slime...

Rick Perry withdrew from the race and gave his support to Newt, see what I mean? Rick will probably try to cheer himself up by executing a few inmates after a couple bottles of Jack, safe once again deep in the heart of Texas... But, no matter how many headlines these debates generate, it all pales in coolness to Barack Obama singing Al Green's Let's Stay Together at a fundraiser, and sounding good while doing it. You just know that he and Michelle have cranked that tune up on a few Friday nights...

When I was a kid, one of the coolest things I saw was the James Bond car from Thunderball, an Aston Martin. Actually, it was a bit disappointing, because they brought it to our local Sears store, and left it sitting out in the parking lot; there was no-one to demonstrate all of the hidden weapons. Nevertheless, it seemed the ultimate in spy gear, which the British cornered as smoothly as a martini, shaken, not stirred... Thirty years later, what marvels of technology have the British come up with, that will spark the imaginations of young boys everywhere? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you - - the Rock. Not just any old rock, either, but a clever place to hide a telecommunications device that was used as an information drop in Moscow.

Unfortunately, the Russians got wind of this fiendish plan, and filmed a pair of British spies using the rock, then they broadcast it on television, as well as showing the rock and how it worked. The British government denied that it was theirs, up until yesterday, when a representative of the government admitted that, yes, the rock was theirs after all. They were hoping that the Russians would take it for granite... Which makes one wonder about the abilities of our staunchest ally. After all, if we hadn't given the British military the use of our newly developed Stinger missiles, and satellite communications, they would have lost the War in the Falkland Islands. That's right, they'd all be speaking Spanish and dancing the tango right now... Maybe it's a good thing to know that, in this day and age of high tech surveillance drones and satellites circling the globe, that there remains a group dedicated to the basics, spying the old-school way. If it worked in Afghanistan, why not in the middle of urban Moscow???

RIP Etta James

From Dumberer To The Plumberer...

"Seventy-six percent of people polled thought that Mitt was short for mittens. I'd vote for him if his name was Mittens Romney. Other nations would fear us for being so adorable." - Craig Ferguson

"Rick Perry’s presidential campaign is in trouble. So, they're now selling his merchandise two for one. You get a foam finger, a key chain & I forget the third thing." – Jimmy Fallon

"Researchers found a frog in new guinea that is so tiny, they believe it's the smallest vertebrate on the planet. It has the tiniest backbone of any living creature, except members of Congress." – Jay Leno

A recent Newsweek cover asked the question, "Why are Obama's critics so dumb?" Which, of course, pissed off every dumb, conservative critic in the nation. Oh, is he referring to me? From Mit Romney's debates and stump speeches, to Newt's historical bombast, to everything that redstate and Michelle Malkin ever printed, the criticism of Obama and his presidency have been based on fiction. Yeah, they make up the crap and hope that if its repeated enough times, dumbass people will start to believe it... Back in the 20's and 30's it was known as yellow journalism, and was well practiced by every Hearst Corporation newspaper. Wikipedia defines it as: "Yellow journalism or the yellow press is a type of journalism that presents little or no legitimate well-researched news and instead uses eye-catching headlines to sell more newspapers.[1] Techniques may include exaggerations of news events, scandal-mongering, or sensationalism.[1] By extension "Yellow journalism" is used today as a pejorative to decry any journalism that treats news in an unprofessional or unethical fashion." I would never do that, but then, I'm not a journalist, just a lonely, satirical commentator on the news, who's main contention is that the extremist right wingers are all crazy, mentally unstable, weirdly argumentative, hypocritical, and resemble a feral tribe of weasels who will think nothing of savaging each other of there's no other easy target... As we all know, crazy people are incapable of rational thought and prone to act out in irrational ways. I thank Andrew Sullivan for expanding on my thesis. It seems that much of what I write ends up on the Daily Beast a few days later...

Soon it will be your last chance to see the new, leaner, profile of GOP candidates debate before the South Carolina primary. Next up, will be the Florida primary, twelve days later. I know there has been too many debates this year, but it has been fun watching these weasels on stage, ripping into each other. They ought to make it a road show, with a debate in each state before a caucus or primary, give more people access to live entertainment... And let's bring back Herman Cain. We don't have to vote for him, no matter what Stephen Colbert says, but he caters to those who like their economic plans from children's computer games and think quoting pokemon is profound... Supporters of the Bush family are waiting until the tea partyers wear themselves out at the primaries. They feel that everyone will be so tired of Mit Romney, that folks will welcome it when they nominate Jeb Bush at the convention. He gets to be the candidate without having to waste all that money campaigning, Remember, candidates are chosen, not elected...

Speaking of dumbasses, our old friend Joe the Plumber is running for Congress in Ohio. He couldn't make it as political pundit, author, or plumber, and he has become addicted to the public spotlight. He still has the arrogance and egotism to believe that people are impressed every time he opens his mouth, when just the opposite is true. It only took Joe about three years to realize that his BFF and stepping stone to fame, if not fortunes, John McCain was using him, something that he bitches about every time he gets in contact with a journalist. John hasn't visited, or called, or supported his candidacy, or paid attention to him at all, and the let down is harsh, the disappointment a bitter pill to swallow...

 Too bad the television networks won't go around the country and televise debates that promise to be entertaining, because I'd love to see Joe debate his Democratic opponent. Maybe a fist fight, if he gets too embarrassed and frustrated... Who knows, maybe the next series of reality shows will feature members of Congress. Kinda puts a new spin on the name Big Brother... Soon, there will be new parliamentary elections in Iran and Russia, unless they get canceled by some disgruntled, paranoid Vladimir  Putin certainly is unhappy that there is an organized opposition to his becoming president again, no telling what he might do next. He canceled coming to terms with them after one meeting, a tactic he must have gotten from Israel and the Palestinians. Expect him to find ways to jail his opponents, or then to impale their heads on pikes...

Newt The Attack Muffin, Burning Hunk Of Arab Spring

David Letterman's "Top Ten Ways Kim Jong Un Celebrated His Birthday"

10. Enjoyed ice cream made by Kim Jong Ben and Kim Jong Jerry
9. Laid in bed, depressed, like a typical Capricorn
8. Hit Vegas with his 'crew:' Putin, Chavez, Ahmadinejad and Zach Galifianakis
7. Had Marilyn Monroe lookalike sing, 'Happy Birthday, Mr. Supreme Commander of the People's Army, brilliant comrade, and great person born of heaven'
6. After seeing how good Charles Barkley looks, joined Weight Watchers
5. Nice quiet dinner with a few close human shields
4. Caught surprise Patton Oswalt stand-up set at the Pyongyang Comedy Store
3. Watched funny videos of North Koreans crying on YouTube
2. Treated himself to a deep-tissue jowl massage
1. Executed his pastry chef for using those trick birthday candles



I never thought I'd live to see this: that the country of Myanmar is releasing over 2000 political prisoners from jail, they are sponsoring more democratic elections that will even allow Aung San Soo Kyi to run for office, and last, that we will be sending an ambassador to their country. I guess North Korea and Iran will be next, for what, I don't really know...


I want to give a shout out to Stephen Colbert, and thank either him or one of his writers for playing my drinking game during the Republican candidate's debates: "During the debates I drank a shot every time I heard the word 'contraception.' I was more wasted than a contribution to Jon Huntsman." – Stephen Colbert


Here's a good piece written in the Washington Post, on the 5 myths of the Arab Spring:

1. Obama’s 2009 Cairo speech helped inspire the Arab Spring.
2. These are Facebook and Twitter revolutions.
3. The Obama administration threw Hosni Mubarak under the bus.
4. Saddam Hussein’s fall in Iraq inspired the Arab Spring.
5. The rebellions will further damage prospects for the Arab-Israeli peace process.m Hussein’s fall in Iraq                                          inspired the Arab Spring.

The reasons are fleshed out in the article, and I have tried to promote myth #2 in different posts. The others are just ways that the US tries to slap itself on the back and garner compliments for its policies towards the Middle East, and a thank you for invading Iraq and Afghanistan. Worse than a thundering silence in response, or even a rasberry, are the claims still coming out of Fallujah, that there is an upward tick in birth defects and birth deformities due to exposure to depleted uranium, which we used to jacket bullets, encase missile heads, and line trucks and Humvees as armor plating. Other bad things going on in Tunisia, have been the rash of copycat self-immolations taking place, and not just by young people.

We have people in North Africa and Tibetan monks in China setting themselves on fire. We already know the similarities of Islam with Old Testament Christianity and Orthodox Judaism; now I'm wondering at the similarities between Islam and Buddhism, the religious impulse that gives people the courage to perform the ultimate in self-destruction. The closest I think we come to this in the US, is the acutely high suicide rate of returning soldiers, fueled by grief, guilt, and the realization that they no longer fit into society.

While we are debating the fate of our health care here, the government of Brazil has made a bold, new move: it has ordered its health services and insurance companies to replace any ruptured breast implants made by a certain French company. The now defunct company had used an inferior grade of industrial silicon in its implants, which have been prone to rupture easily. This might be a joke, if it weren't for the fact that they had sold over 25,000 sets of implants to Brazilians... Perhaps they just want to show how firm their domestic policies are, for when the Iranian President comes to visit...

While thinking of false boobies, the GOP presidential candidates come to mind, with the South Carolina primary coming up next week. All ready, the media is going on how Mit has become the front runner and has all but captured the nomination. Newt Gingrich, who once promised a positive campaign, has come out with the most negative ads against Romney, so much that the Democrats won't have to come up with anything of their own, they will just recycle Newt's ads... Even Fox News has dredged up Rudy Guliani to attack back at Newt, calling him ignorant and stupid, with its lady commentators calling Newt an attack muffin... They are accusing Newt of being a socialist, a Communist, and a Maoist for making a criticism about capitalism and Wall Street's losses two years ago. These are labels they usually save up for the actual candidate, and were the same things that they tried to use as a smear on Barack Obama...

I had never met or seen my Congressional Representative in all the time I have lived here in Colorado. I'd read several articles that he had ghost written for him in the local newspapers, but had not seen him on television. Until the other night, last week, where there was a quick interview with him over some conservative talking point. Listening to his speech patterns and physical demeanor during the interview, it was clear as day, and only the fact that this is one of the most conservative districts in the US showed that our emperor had no clothes. More specifically, he is such a closet queen, and I'm surprised that he hasn't been outed before now...
I'm sure that he knows hoe effeminate he sounds, which may be why he always declines to debate anyone, that and because he doesn't have an original idea to call his own...