Thursday, February 21, 2019

Ivanka's World Bank, Nicknames, Save Us Barron Trump




A few weeks ago, the national press got punked, and nobody commented on it, so I guess it was a failed or partial punk. What happened was the head of the World Bank decided to step down due to immoral circumstances. Traditionally, the head of the World Bank is selected by the United States, and the rumors started that Ivanka Trump was being considered for the position, because of her vapid experience... I read about it as a filler piece in Politico, and I thought, bless you, Paul Krassner is still alive... (Paul was a comedian and creator of The Realist. He always talked about the gullibility of the press and its readership, and came up with weird stories to see if they would get reported. His most famous one was the story of the person who ordered a box of chicken from KFC, opened it up and found a Kentucky Fried Rat among the chicken parts. The best part is how the story assumed a life of its own, reappearing in different newspapers over the years, unprompted... There have been books written compiling similar urban myths.)

I was hoping that Ivanka's myth would take wings and fly, but a few days later Politico just as seriously reported that Ivanka had never been considered for the World Bank, she was just using the rumors to popularize her jewelry and clothing line... Joking there, but it's not like Ivanka is talented enough to create a clothing pattern or hot glue a glass bauble onto a piece of plastic. She is talented enough to put those designers in contract under her label, and market their creations as her own...



Election season has started, and already Donald is trying to come up with derogatory nicknames for candidates who would oppose him. Most names that I found about Donald, are similar variations of the phrase, That Orange Asshole... So, I have been trying for a more elegant approach, let me know if you have any that yourselves have come up with:



The Cheeto in Chief

Putin's Pissing Partner

Don the Con

'Shroom

Fox and Friend

Tantrum Trump

This could be a good drinking game, making new nicknames, until you get hammered and revert back to that orange asshole... But make sure to popularize your favorites in email, social media posts, letters to the editor. The goal should be having it broadcast on your favorite news station...



Back in the 1980's Donald Trump assumed the name of John Barron, and called a reporter of Forbes, arguing that Mr. Trump was worth more than the magazine stated, and he should be moved higher up in the rankings of richest men. Then he goes and names his son Barron, and his clueless wife went along with it. And poor Barron may be the most ignored famous kid in America...

Anyway, Barron, pay attention, because only you can save our country! What you need to do is buy some marijuana edibles and put them in your parent's food. They really need to learn how to chill out and expand their minds a bit. Who knows? If you are successful, you may become known as the savior of the GOP party, though they still have to disband and start all over...











Monday, December 24, 2018

Christmas Eve 2018

To be honest, I didn't think I was going to live this long. When my health began going south in the year 2000, I was sure I would end my life before I got too disabled, mainly because the doctors I had in Santa Cruz were quacks. When I visited my sister in Colorado, she took one look at my face and smelled my breath and sent me to her doctor. Turned out my blood sugar was above 500 and it has caused problems for me even after I was able to bring it down below 250, still more to go, injecting myself 4 times a day with insulin... I'm currently waiting for my pet cat and best friend to die before I wander outside and lay down in a snowbank...


So, what do Karen MacDougal, Stormy Daniels, Melania Trump, and Ivanka Trump all have in common? Is it silicon or saline?


I got tired of constantly writing about the travesty that is Donald Trump, so I stopped writing for a few months. I have realized that there is just no way to ignore the ways that he is destroying our government, which I find ironic, considering that I once thought the best way to change our institutions was to burn them down. Perhaps I should get some popcorn and watch his chaos train go off the rails, faster pussycat, faster...

Talking impeachment is a useless form of masturbation, it won't get off, and will never happen. Donald will probably die from a stress related heart attack, either brought on by the Democrats in the House of Representatives, or induced by the CIA whenever they get tired of his bad-mouthing... Then, we can build a small section of the border wall and bury his casket beneath it...


Merry Christmas and Have some Happy Holidays!




Monday, June 11, 2018

Anthony Bourdain RIP, Trump's New Strategy to End Stormy's Monday





Like so many others, I was shocked by the suicide of Anthony Bourdain. For years, he was one of the best things on television. To myself, I labeled his show as: interesting food, great cultural locations, no bullshit... I had planned to watch CNN's marathon and hastily put together tribute, but then the anger set in, and I knew that all I would do is laugh, cry, and yell at the dead man who left us all in the lurch of trying to make sense of it all...

When men reach their sixties, we start re-evaluating our pasts and thinking about the trajectories of our future. Boy does it ever cause depression, this Dark Night of the Soul... This is why so many older men commit suicide, our lives are not what we imagined when we were younger, and the future is full of medication, failing bodies, and losing friends and loved ones. It becomes attractive to just say "fuck it" and check out, see you on the other side... Like lemmings jumping off a cliff, the suicide rate is rising, and two out of three deaths by guns are men committing suicide. I've entertained the notion for the past five years, but my blood sugar levels will do it for me. I just hope my cat dies before I do. I rescued him from the pound, and hate the though of him ending his days back there, it would be a cruel animal irony... Funny how Alex Jones and I can make Tony's death all about ourselves...




Donald Trump has been all over the place, emotionally, these past few days, so much so that
Vladimir Putin has asked for a quick summit meeting because he has to recalibrate the software. Afterwards, Trump may calm down, even become nicer towards our traditional allies...

So, here's how I imagine the way that Donald ends the Stormy Daniel's fifteen minutes of fame: he gets Vladimir to release the tape of the Russian escorts peeing on him at the hotel, then he can proclaim that yes, he does like some innocent kink every now and then, and Melania can also admit that she enjoys peeing on Donald, it forms part of the glue to their relationship... hey it's not like he's pulling a Gandhi and drinking the stuff, that would be weird... it also explains Donald's unnatural orange hair color and maybe his orangier facial skin-tone...it's not a job for an intern, and may explain why Hope left before she could admit to being beaten up by her boy-friend on a regular basis...

 Tomorrow is the summit with North Korea, and bets are being taken as to which crazy-ass leader will blow their cool first. My bet is on Trump, after he makes Kim Jong Un cry and scurry out of the room...


Thursday, May 31, 2018

Sabotaging Melania Trump, and Those Pesky Summit Talks



First, you should know that Blogger uses cookies to insert a marker in your computer, supposedly it makes a blog site load faster when you revisit it, and is a standard business practice used for years. It may also be in violation of recently passed European privacy codes, so judge accordingly. Cookies can easily be erased from your browser and a monthly or weekly maintenance can help. I personally do not use cookies because it's just myself who is the author of this content, and unfortunately, I have not made any money from my blog, even with the Amazon ad; if they owe me any money they certainly haven't paid up...


Let's begin with the First Lady Melania... There is someone in the White House who does not like her, and has been messing with her two public outings to date: her inaugural speech, where an assistant wrote a speech plagiarizing lines from Michelle Obama, and more recently, sabotaging the rollout of her Be Best program by disclosing that an educational booklet intended for teachers and claimed to be written by Melania, was an older booklet written and printed in the Obama era, and just had a new cover put on it... oops, either someone wants Melania to be embarrassed every time she does something on her own, or she has hired some very lazy and stupid staff, where the original Spygate began...

Or, could she be suffering from the effects from a Deep State Marriage? She is much more liberal than her husband, and more caring, judging by the amount of time she spends with her son Barron, a twelve year old tragic figure who is bullied on a daily basis at school. It's quite possible that some narcissistic husband could be jealous enough to sabotage everything she does, anything that might diminish the spotlight on himself. No wonder that she has taken a long time to rest and recover from her recent medical procedure. I'd be scared to turn the television on each day, to see what new embarrassment her husband's out-of- control behavior and big mouth has brought... after all, who else would enjoy seeing her humiliated in public and be willing to finance all screw-ups? It's enough to keep the drapes shut and a prescription to help you sleep, a specialty of Dr. Ronny Jackson...






I wanted to start this piece by saying that Donald Trump would never go to the North Korean summit
meeting because he really sucked at negotiating and was afraid of failure... he basically, was a pink pussy... Then, he formally withdrew from the summit, proving my point but leaving me without a good target for ridicule and name calling...

Then, the meeting was possibly on again, after Kim Jong-Un apologized for his assistants calling names at Mike (the Cipher) Pence, and John (the Walrus) Bolton warmongering pinheads... the news now is how insurmountable the task is to get it together in time, now that both sides are actually communicating and not sitting around with their thumbs up their collective butts.

The question is, what does North Korea want? We don't have to worry about Donald, because he hasn't a clue and no real agenda; he plans on going in and using his superior skills to hack out a great, tremendous deal, worthy of granting him a Nobel Prize... NK will negotiate on nukes, sure, because if they continue to develop and build missiles, then they will have to starve the rest of it's population to pay for them, leaving a few military families to wander the barren landscape... No, Kim is hoping to trade part of his nuclear program to become a trading partner with the US, letting that begin a new prosperity program to become as wealthy as South Korea. Which would not be a bad thing, unless John Bolton screws it up, as he is likely to do. We should send Bolton as our envoy to either Hamas or to Tehran because he needs an attitude adjustment. So, let's hope the summit between to very cranky and difficult men bears fruit, but the odds are so much against them that it could easily blow up in our faces...



Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Pruitt Too Little Too Late, Netanyahu's AV BS Presentation





If the people in Donald Trump's Cabinet weren't such colorful, and dysfunctional characters, could Michelle Wolfe make them up? Take the Environmental Protection Agency's Scott Pruitt, for example. He was the Attorney General from Oklahoma, where he filed lawsuits against the EPA, which, in Donald Trump's minds-eye, made him perfect to head and sabotage the agency.

Scott has been gutting any policies that were instigated during the Obama administration, and now wants to prohibit any input by scientists regarding the environment. He has been criticized for spending way too much money when he travels, which includes bodyguards for protection 24/7, and always flying first class, so he can avoid anyone who might recognize him and criticize him, poor little fella...

The most bizarre expense, so far, has been for the cone of silence in his office. OK, it's really not the
Get Smart device we loved as children, but is really a compartment where he can receive classified phone calls without the fear of being hacked or traced. You know, like a cone of silence that costs taxpayers $43,000 when their are two other classified compartments in the EPA building. After installation, the installers can't tell us if the new phone booth meets government standards or if it will prevent hacking and provide all of the features that is required for such a system...

When questioned about this at a Congressional hearing, Scott blamed it all on his chief of staff, he really didn't know a thing... Same goes for the huge raises that were given to the two friends he brought over from the Oklahoma's AG office. it was done without his knowledge; why he didn't even know what he was signing off on, it were two scribbles on paper, yup,yup... it's never Scott's fault...

Mr. Pruitt is now the source of 11 oversight investigations, and it's time for some vulnerable rats to leave the ship. Albert Kelly, an ex-banker who is banned from working in the banking industry for the rest of his life, and the head of security, Pasquale Perrotta, who created the 24/7 bodyguard detail, and ordered the cone of silence have stepped down today. Mr. Perrotta is scheduled to answer questions in front of Congress next week, should be fun...



Let's jump from domestic BS to a more global venue, with Israel's Prime Minister Benjamin
Netanyahu making an argument on video to persuade Donald Trump to back out of the nuclear deal with Iran. This was supposed to counteract any influence the visits to the White House by France's Macron and Germany's Merkel may have had, both exhorting Trump to stay in the deal. But, it was originally created by the Obama administration and with the UN, so Donald wants to replace it with one that he has negotiated, because he's sooo good at negotiations, just witness the number of times he's had to file for bankruptcy... And this should make North Korea feel really good about its own upcoming negotiations...


Netanyahu has traditionally used visual aids when directed at world leaders, the last notable example was a Wile E. Coyote cartoon bomb showing Iran's nuclear capacity. Well, he's at it again, this time with huge pictures projected onto the wall behind him, bragging that the Mossad had stolen documents that proved that Iran lied when it said it didn't have a nuclear program... Except for one little thing: this news was over ten years old and pertained to the Iranian wish list before it entered into the current non-missile agreement. The talk should have been labeled Iran Lite...


So, what was the purpose of this farce? Other than show what intelligence studs the Mossad are, he was angling to get on Fox News and impress Donald Trump; which he did. Donald even commented about it in a tweet, until he was later corrected by some unimaginative drone in the White House, who must have a thing for facts, Lord knows it wasn't Sarah... What does Israel get if the US pulls out o the Iran deal? A larger market for latex? Permission to bomb, bomb, bomb Iran, and Yemen, and Syria, while the US just stands idly bye, preening at itself in the mirror?

Because the two best ways to get Trump to pay part of his limited attention span is to go on Fox News, or to flatter him. Hence the French bro act, and the South Korean President saying that Trump should be nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. The rest of us are wondering who will tell the emperor that he is wearing no clothes...





Thursday, April 26, 2018

Cosby Sentenced, Pee Story Persists, China's Tech Whores




Ahhhh, I am heart-sick... Even though Bill Cosby has been accused by over 60 women of drugging them and date rape over the past 40 years, he was finally convicted in a criminal court this morning, and faces a 30 year prison sentence. The only good thing is that he is over 80, and won't last long in prison, no matter how comfy a mattress they give him.

He must have learned this kind of behavior back in the seventies, where he would attend swinging Hollywood parties as the co-star of "I, Spy..." Or, who knows? Perhaps Hef mentored him whenever he would visit the playboy mansion, practicing on the set of "Playboy After Dark..."

Cosby's wife must have known at some level. It might explain why she got so tired a lot, and had to go to bed early, after only a drink or two...

Although I never watched him as Dr. Huxtable, his comedy albums were some of the first my family bought when I was a kid. It's a shame that someone who presented themselves as wholesome and a role model ended up being driven by their darker, dysfunctional sexual side...



The President's physician, who was nominated to head the Veteran's Affairs, the second largest bureaucratic organization in the country, withdrew his name from the nomination process, after being asked embarrassing questions by the VA Affairs Committee. His co-workers, who are still active military, described him as constantly yelling and throwing tantrums. He over-prescribed medication to others and wrote prescriptions to himself. Hey, he liked to party... The worst accusation was when he was accused of driving and wrecking a government vehicle while under the influence, he replied that he had never wrecked any government car... unfortunately, the Washington DC police have him on file for two incidents, one in 2013, and another in 2016... It just shows what Donald Trump has been making, impulsive decisions and not vetting candidates properly. He and his new lawyer, Rudi Guliani probably play house and cross-dress in the White House after the morning tweets go out; no longer is Melania the only one well dressed and turned out...


Surprise, surprise, the story of Donald hiring two hookers to pee on the bed in Russia, where Barack
and Michelle Obama had also slept, has new legs recently... This story should have had its sheets changed and put to bed by now, but Donald Trump keeps obsessing and bringing it back into the news cycle... James Comey related in his new book, how obsessed Donald was over the pee allegations. He stressed to Comey that he couldn't have done anything like that because he didn't spend overnight in Russia at all during the Miss Universe pageant... except that fact checking showed Trump flying in on a Friday, and flying back on a Sunday. Previously, his bodyguard told a story of how he followed Donald to his hotel room, and standing guard outside the door for awhile before, he, too retired for the night... Then, this morning on Fox and Friends, Donald called in and answered the question if he did stay overnight in Russia, saying, yes, of course I did... Too bad Donald didn't marry Mrs. Cosby instead, she would have understood...








China has always been a quirky society when it comes to relationships between men and women. OK ok, we know that Mao was a whore, sleeping with numerous young girls at a time, and having a soldier assigned to dig the compacted shit from his behind, but everyone else have to be naïve and child-like in demeanor... Tech companies are now hiring young women to hang out with their over-stressed, virginal, male programmers. They provide everything from being a good listener, to organizing snacks, to giving pep talks and massages... The pay is better than if you were starting out as an electrical engineer. The only drawback is that the women must be considered to be pretty, and over five foot, two inches in height, so that they can be seen when sitting at the front desk...



Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Babs and Buckel, RIP



Two deaths occurred over the last few days, with different levels of national publicity. Barbara Bush just died at the age of 92. She could have stayed in the hospital and they could have kept her alive for a few more days, but she decided to go home and spend her last hours with those she loved and in familiar surroundings.

She was the most loved of all of the Bush family, both liberals and conservatives. My sister, a huge liberal, loved her to death and felt that she would have made a better president than her husband, and I felt the same way... She was the strength and backbone of her family. Although George and Jeb got their conservatism and pig-headishness from their father, any sense of compassion came from their mother... George tried to combine the two traits by promoting a "compassionate conservatism," it never jelled into policy, thanks to the evil, soulless people he surrounded himself with. Barbara and George HW were married for over 72 years, the longest marriage of any presidential couple, and she was the only one besides Abigail Adams to have both been married to a president and been the mother of another... So, rest in peace, Babs, you lived a full life filled with love, and nobody can take that success away from you...




A more problematic death occurred last Saturday in a park, a successful gay rights lawyer, David Buckel, made a small, blue plastic tent, and set himself on fire. He left a note saying that people need to become more aware and to help more in taking care and healing the planet...

We haven't had someone setting themselves on fire in America in a long time. I remember, as a kid,
watching on the television, of a Buddhist monk dowsing himself and lighting himself on fire as a protest to the upcoming war in Vietnam. It didn't work, but it created a powerful image enough that I began a life-long interest in Buddhism and meditation.

Nobody really saw David burning to a crisp, his protest by ending his life didn't have the same powerful imagery as those monks in Vietnam did, and I doubt that he changed any lives with his sacrifice. He probably could have done more by continuing his activism.

But, we have reached a crisis point, our Earth is dying and humans are the major cause, like it or not. Unless more caring people take over powerful positions in our societies enough to solve the environmental problems that are killing us all, any future we have will become toast. Otherwise, our children may not be able to live full, happy lives like Barbara Bush...