Monday, January 30, 2012

Let It Rain Egyptian NGO's, Next Stealth Technology

"New Rule: Someone has to tell Francesco Schettino that embracing a callous policy of "every man for himself" doesn't make you a sea captain. It makes you the Republican nominee." - Bill Maher

"New Rule: The NAACP must take Newt Gingrich up on his offer to stand in front of the their convention and tell them why black people should want jobs instead food stamps. This way I can finally answer a question that's been bugging me for years: can Newt Gingrich run?" – Bill Maher
"President Obama was in Disney World to introduce a new plan to boost tourism in the United States. And also because the Mickey Mouse ears fit perfectly over his real ones." – Jimmy Kimmel

"Yesterday in Florida, President Obama kissed a woman on the cheek after she told him he looks good. Which explains why last night, Michelle made him sleep on Air Mattress One." – Jimmy Fallon



I was reading an opinion piece by a friend of Sam LaHood in the Daily Beast. She didn't have much to say except that she was sorry that Egypt wouldn't let him leave the country while his non-governmental organization was under investigation, and that several leaders of NGO's are hiding out at the US Embassy. His NGO promotes democracy, whatever that really means, in 75 countries, and is so obviously a front for the CIA that it would take a dumb sixth-grader not to make the connection. One statistic she revealed in her pity piece is that there are currently about 300 NGO's under investigation in Egypt...

Whoa, stop right there. I knew that aid organizations and other NGO's were a money making scam, raking in over $6 billion last year in Afghanistan and Iraq alone, but that's a lot for one country. Though, the rent on office space is a major factor in buoying up the economy, such as it is... Almost every other country in the world seems to have some kind of organization administering a project in Egypt, which may prove how much the intelligence industry has grown and thrived since we first rolled tanks into Baghdad... If we assume that 20 out of the 300 organizations are CIA fronts, then who is funding the other 280? Or, is the US funding them all, including another 300 local groups? One umbrella organization, the America Development Foundation, states on its website: "One of ADF’s major projects in Egypt has been the NGO Service Center, a seven-year, US$33.7 million development activity of USAID to strengthen the capacities of Civil Society Organizations to effectively, responsibly and sustainably contribute to Egypt’s social and political development. The NGO Service Center (the Center) was a leading activity in the Democracy and Governance portfolio of USAID/Egypt under Strategic Objective #21: “Egyptian Initiatives in Governance and Participation Strengthened.”


The Center served as an umbrella mechanism to manage sub-grants and assistance to over 600 Egyptian NGOs..." No wonder the Afghan War is costing us so much money. The Pentagon is asking for $88 billion for this next year...

We use these groups to hire locals to build things for their cities, give food to the poor, and administer health services, all on a grander scale than we have here in the US. This is the price countries pay for allowing our spies and mercenaries to roam about, seeking targets for the next military adventure, another chapter in the book of Seal Team 6...

Anyway, back to Sam LaHood. Dude, you're not in any jail cell, you get to stay at home with your servants you hired with taxpayer money, and go to the office and pretend that you are doing something important. Most projects funded by NGO's are abandoned before they are finished, or are sub-standardly built to fall apart, or never get off the planning table so you can pocket the money or give it away in bribes. You signed on to enjoy the Egyptian culture, and you are still insulated from the more dangerous elements, so thank you and good luck. We'll cancel a lobbying contract in your name, that'll show 'em.


Recently, China publicly announced a successful test flight for their first stealth fighter jet. They were accused of obtaining most of the technology from buying parts of jets that had crashed in the Balkans, and getting the rest from countries like Russia. But the US could just as easily given it up. We sell stealth jets all the time to our allies. Countries like Turkey could lend one to Iran for reverse engineering, or India or South Korea to China...

 Not to mention what you can purchase on the black market, so much cool stuff as technology advances. One firm in Austin, Texas claims to have created the ultimate in stealth technology: it was able to make a 3D object appear invisible... This means that a CIA agent could be sitting next to you right now, and the only thing you might notice is their heavy breathing... Finally, our technology is catching up to 1950's pulp fiction... They have done so well, that the American Psychiatric Association is re-writing their diagnostic manuals, redefining what they now believe autism is. That's right, they no longer believe in Austinism...

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Putin Despises Russia, Israel and Iran Conjoined, Perry Can Still Kick Your Miserable Butt






With all of the irrational, bizarre behavior going on in the world, you might think we were in the middle of summer, with temperatures in excess of 100 degrees, making everyone bitchy and mean.. Putin is getting ready for his landslide re-election in a couple of months, but he's hedging his bets by not allowing his main opponent on the ballot. He's forcing people to attend support rallies for the camera opportunity, although he hasn't made them take their shirts off or hunt for wild animals yet...

Iran has been in the news a lot, for all of the same old stuff, and the Israelis are getting hysterical, saying now is the best window of opportunity to bomb Iran's nuclear facilities, and it will soon be gone. They can't wait for a Republican president who will rubber stamp whatever insane ideas they come up with. Will the Israel lobby support a Mormon? Are they more than strangers in the night?.. Iran is having a difficult time with their economy, and if they lose major oil revenues, it may send it spiraling downwards enough to spark a regime changing revolution. The rial dropped 8% last week, and people are hoarding dollars in expectation that the rial may soon be worthless. And, as we always know, nothing helps the economy like a good war economy...

Some countries are getting tired of being fiscally responsible, like Zimbabwe in Africa. They are switching their currency over to the yuan, finally proving that China is a dominant player in the region. We can take our head out of the sand, now. We pretended that nothing was wrong when China bought up all of the land and businesses surrounding the Panama Canal, and ignored the amount of arms and explosives in the Middle East that came from China, almost as much guns and ammo as sold by the US and Germany...


It's been one year since Tunisia and Egypt rose up and got rid of their dictatorial leaders, what many have called the Arab Spring. Always makes me think of a bar of soap, which isn't a bad analogy, either. But Egypt isn't faring too well. Their military is still in charge and dictating policy, and refuses to give up any power, telling the young revolutionaries how it will be instead of working with them. The Muslim Brotherhood, which used to be outlawed, won many of the parliamentary elections, although its not as bad as we make it out to be. Finally, the economy has slumped this past year, and reserves have dropped to $10 million, which can keep the country afloat about a month and a half. If Egypt cannot solve these problems in a positive way, then it may well devolve back into a strong man dictator style of government, with a ruthless police and military, only this time it will be the government setting its citizens on fire, much like what's happening in Syria... One way out may be to hire out the Egyptian Army as mercenaries and march into Syria to stop the Assad government's insane tactics. They are so filled with blood-lust, that all reason has fled, and they are killing women and children, its OK as long as they are killing someone. The rats are leaving the country, it is getting ready to sink. Even Hamas has left Damascus, with the public head of Hamas saying that he is retiring to his cottage in Dubai...




Here at home, the GOP powers that be have taken aim at Newt Gingrich. They remember how reckless he was as Speaker of the House, and how mean he was to everyone. Now its payback time... Lots of ads in Florida saying what a crummy character Newt has, and out to lunch policy ideas on things like a colony on the moon. It might backfire, if the subtext that Newt also won't be their puppet and do exactly what they tell him to do, like they know Mit Romney would. Mit may be rich, but he's still a tool... Another secret, revealed during this last debate, is if you first come out and attack Newt, it throws him off his game, and he will retreat in pain and confusion, wussy that he is... doesn't it make you wish that all of the primaries and caucuses should be held all together this coming Tuesday? Then it might give the Florida primary some meaniing, instead of the red herring that is being bloated by the media, pretending that it is a whale...

Republicans in Texas were shocked by Rick Perry's poor performance on the national stage. Democrats are feeling even worse, because that dumb-ass alcoholic loser has been kicking their asses for the last 10 years. If he has dominated them at the polls, what sad excuses for politicians are they? If you can think of a good answer, let me know...


Thursday, January 26, 2012

I Begin In Florida and Somehow End Up In Mexico...

"Last night folks, Republicans held their eighteenth debate. The question on everyone's mind: Who cares?" – Stephen Colbert

"After Iowa and New Hampshire, Newt's campaign looked terminally ill, which is when he generally moves on to something better." – Stephen Colbert

“Rick Santorum (is taking) fire from the left. He may want to get a Kevlar sweater vest.” – Stephen Colbert
"We were ready for Romney to win the Republican nomination, so we had our puns ready: 'Bright Lights, Big Mitty,' 'Mittizen Bain,' and "Mormon-y, Less Problems." But then ... 'The Gingrich Who Stole South Carolina.'" – Jon Stewart


Someone please hit me in the head with a hammer, there's the 19th Republican candidate's debate tonight. Yes, they have been wonderfully entertaining, but also awfully boring with the same cast of characters, like life with the Kardashian sisters... And again, it will be another two hours not allowing Ron Paul to speak... The hype has all been on the ads run by Gingrich and Romney campaigns, telling what bad citizens the other guy is, no GOP solidarity to be seen for miles and miles. Throw in the fruitcake who was elected governor, and you have a fine mix, indeed. And, after the primaries, all the Obama campaign has to do is buy up the Republican ads against the Republican candidate, and have Obama appear at the end, saying "I approve this message..."

I just read my last post; what a disjointed, depressing mess it is. It shows that I could use a good editor. I suck at typing, and the keyboard on my laptop does weird things, like the cursor jumping around the page, so if I stop typing and then begin again without looking for the cursor, the rest of my sentence appears in another paragraph somewhere on the page. I missed making my main point with the rising rate of suicide, alcohol abuse, domestic violence, and oxycontin abuse in the military - that they either have to change the military culture, or find a better way to help soldiers decompress once they come home from war. Right now it looks like their only plan for the future is to use less boots on the ground, and to use a variety of drones to replace them.

Of course, drones were a part of the last two successful operations by Seal Team 6, but the most effective parts, shooting bin Laden and putting his body in a bag, and in Somalia, by killing off the drugged pirates in the middle of the night, were done by well-trained soldiers. This combination, of using drones and smaller teams making surgical strikes, is what the Pentagon is aiming for. We save money by having less troops to support, and drones are cheaper to build than multi-million dollar jets. One solution has been the proliferation of mercenary companies, touting themselves as professional security outfits. The US State Dept still is using 5000 mercenaries to guard the embassy staff in Iraq, while the Iraqi government is making it harder for other companies to renew their licenses and gun permits. Though the mercenaries continue to use the US for their major meal ticket, they are following the CIA around the world, wandering from continent to continent, hoping for work that needs to be contracted out. Hence, there are now 1,400 mercenary companies registered with the Mexican government, with an estimated 8,000 more working below the radar.

In Mexico, the ex-US trained troops meet and clash with the drug cartels ex-US trained henchmen. Yes, one by-product with the influx of Hispanic population over the last few years, has been the young men who sign up for US military service, get rained in all aspects of modern technological warfare, then go back home to become soldiers in the drug cartels. It's one reason the DEA has been outgunned and is losing the war on drugs...

Here in Colorado, we may have an initiative on the ballot this Fall, legalizing marijuana use. We already have a liberal law allowing medical marijuana use. I keep wondering why I haven't tried to get one, I'm certain that it would help my sister on days when her Crohn's disease, or those days when I can hardly hobble around the house... Anyway, the DEA has been making raids in Colorado and California on many of the larger growing operations, to discourage placing the initiative on the ballot in these two states. Colorado is a funny place, with displaced Texans nudging up the bar along with ex-Californians, and the ex-military guys pretending to see who can be the most conservative sounding group, yet most indigenous folks sit back and indulge in a joint or two, enjoying the show. Our legislature is one of the few that can work together if they have to, despite all of the whines and whimpers. And, by God, we have the best tasting water in the whole country, even from the tap... What we don't have, are decent mid-priced restaurants owned by locals...

Fortunately for the part of our economy that centers around foreign wars, all GOP candidates, except for Ron Paul, are hawks who pledge to become the world's top cop, dragging whomever promises to be our allies along with us. And it looks like the next operation for Seal Team 6 may be in Tehran, if for no other reason to prove that a successful operation can be run in Iran...






Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Supreme Court Puts Lipstick On Our Pigs, Military Suicides On Rise


"Newt Gingrich's ex-wife went on nightline and said that he wanted to have an open marriage. This is the second wife, talking about him when he was fooling around with what became the third wife. Newt wanted apparently to have his wife and his marriage and also women on the side giving him oral sex. This way he could be nice and relaxed when he went to work and accused blacks of feeling entitled." – Bill Maher

"I have not seen anything this surreal since they cancelled 'Twin Peaks.' What else can you say about a Republican debate when the rich guy, who’s avoiding taxes – which they like, gets booed and the fat creep into threesomes gets a standing ovation?" – Bill Maher, on Romney and Gingrich in the CNN debate

"Newt was mad. He said 'I am not a philanderer; I am a blow job creator.'" – Bill Maher

"Newt said this is despicable to ask these questions. Why are we dwelling on the past? We should be concentrating on the future and putting America's children back to work." – Bill Maher





The Supreme Court unanimously rejected California's new slaughterhouse rule, in favor of places that see no problem with grinding up a horse or pig that cannot walk. The California law "requires the immediate euthanasia of “downer” animals and bars their slaughter or sale." Pig Magazine (no, I'm not making this up!) estimates that from 100,000 to one million pigs suffer from pig fatigue, where they cannot get up and walk around. They are still used for food and footballs after a federal inspector inspects them to make sure they are not diseased... Makes you stop and think before buying those baby back ribs...

The Supreme Court said that existing federal law should take care care of the problem, while the state of California said that the federal inspectors were lazy, if they bothered to show up at all. The other courts sided with California, as Adam Liptak relates in the NY Times: "The United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit, in San Francisco, ruled that there was no conflict between the California law and the federal one because the state had merely disqualified certain kinds of animals from being used for food. “States aren’t limited to excluding animals from slaughter on a species-wide basis,” Chief Judge Alex Kozinski wrote for a unanimous three-judge panel of the court. “States are free to decide which animals may be turned into meat.”


Justice Kagan briskly rejected that analysis. “We think not,” she wrote.

The meat industry is filled with dodgy practices that would make you think twice before eating that Taco Bell burrito. At one point they would take all of the leftover parts that didn't make the cut, and grind them down into a slurry that they either fed to the cows, or sold it to places like McDonald's and Taco Bell. Its a disgusting practice that makes me think of soylent green for us humans, and might be where the idea came from, poor cows made to eat that sludge, which was banned by Britain as an import...

Something like this is what I think about when the word disgusting is bandied about, as Newt Gingrich lit into John King at the opening of the South Carolina debate. Newt's treatment of his ex-wives is so horrible that it will come up a lot in the future, as independent minded folks try to decide whom to support on the Republican side. The long primary season has often been likened to the walk as the animals are led into the slaughterhouse, their frightened eyes staring blindly into the television cameras as they try to think of an answer to that mean question that Newt has asked... The best drinking game is to have a drink or another beer every time Newt says something mean or condescending: then you'd be as drunk and rowdy as the crowd at Newt's South Carolina victory party. Say what you want about the South, they can turn anything into a party... Judging by last night's debate, Mit and Newt are trying to hard to knock each other down, that they've forgotten all of the finesse. It's certainly not scoring any points among the younger generations, who think its disgusting and ugly watching their grandparents squabble in public, yet still seeming so out of touch with any real issues facing our nation.

With all the rhetoric about creating jobs, go out to your local business district or shopping mall. How many businesses have closed down? If they were a mom and pop kind of store, there's no way that it will ever come back, and the family who owned it has exhausted all of their own money, and probably owes the bank thousands of dollars. The banks now make it harder to get a loan, so there won't be many other small businesses to rise up and take their place. Soon, we all will have to shop at our local Wal-Mart... The only thing that the government can do is hire government workers, adding more to an inefficient bureaucracy where most don't even do the jobs they were hired for. Don't forget the employees hired by Dick Cheney's office, whose job it was to burrow into the sector where they were placed, and purposely do a bad job, acting as a conservative monkey-wrench that results in anger over how crappy the government works... And I haven't even touched on laziness and the GS ratings... It doesn't matter, unless we start over from scratch and rebuild a more streamlined bureaucracy, it won't matter if a Democrat or Republican is elected president, as the surrounding government structure still pisses people off by their excesses, their laziness, and sense of entitlement; there will always be a certain percentage of the population offended by this. This anger can be pretty powerful, it inspired revolutions in the Middle East, propelled the tea party here in the US.

Probably the most dangerous use of our bureaucracy has been trying to stop the suicide rate of our active duty military. The rate has increased each year, with last year being the highest toll, and has left Army Generals bewildered and stymied. Alcohol abuse and domestic violence has risen, also. If you are a retired military personnel, well, they don't keep as good records on you, who knows how crazy you've become...

Another statistic just released says that about 20% of our population is mentally disturbed, about the same percentage that is considered to be extreme right wing conservatives... That's two out of ten people who probably are taking neuroleptic prescription drugs. The number one abused prescription drug among military and non-military alike, goes to oxycontin. It has inspired my new bumper sticker that acknowledges this problem:

Oxycontin - Its Not Just For Right Wing Talk Show Hosts Anymore


One of my father's favorite sayings, I don't know why he said it to us kids a lot while we were growing up, was: "sometimes I think that the whole world has gone mad, except for me and thee, and lately I have begun wondering about thee..."


Friday, January 20, 2012

Newt's Fake Moral Outrage, Spy Kids


“I am appalled that you would begin a presidential debate on a topic like that,” - Newt Gingrich

David Letterman's "Top Ten Signs Mitt Romney Is Getting Cocky"

10. Answers all questions with, "So's your mother"
9. Offered Santorum a 10,000-vote head start in South Carolina primary
8. He's forwarding his mail to the White House — Wow, that's cocky
7. Skipping next three primaries to go on tour with Young Jeezy
6. Started selling his own commemorative presidential plates on QVC
5. Donated $50,000 to Rick Perry's campaign
4. Now spelling "Mittt" with three T's
3. Ended debate by taking out wad of bills and "making it rain"
2. Wants to rename states Mittchigan, Mittsouri, Mittsissippi, and New Mittsico
1. Offered to help Newt with his concession speech


Newt Gingrich has found his niche, the call that invariably invokes the right response. Attack the questioners at the debate, receive a standing ovation... It seems to be the conservative, white, racist way of sticking it to the man, which is a form of craziness in itself, but works in places like Iowa and South Carolina. The predictability of Newt the attack muffin repeating this behavior in the next debate on Monday is around 100%. We tune into these debates hoping to see a Rick Perry melt down or make embarrassing statements. Proving that the best defense is an aggressive offense, Newt immediately lambasted moderator John King for asking the open marriage question. But he laid it on too thick, and I didn't quite believe his moral outrage, so I couldn't forgive him for his sins. He layered the cheese a little too thick on the Southern crackers...

In response, this morning many media pundits are saying that Newt has a good chance to ultimately beat out Romney for GOP presidential candidate. He's made more enemies within his own party than Mit has, so revenge might be sweeter when it comes time to throw him under the bus at the convention, and pulling a Jeb Bush out of a hat... After Newt got kicked out of Congress, it seems he made a deal with a demon, and her name is Callista. She is responsible for his transformation, from a broke-down, political hack, into a well-baked conservative muffin, who smells nice coming out of the oven, but is still frosted with slime...

Rick Perry withdrew from the race and gave his support to Newt, see what I mean? Rick will probably try to cheer himself up by executing a few inmates after a couple bottles of Jack, safe once again deep in the heart of Texas... But, no matter how many headlines these debates generate, it all pales in coolness to Barack Obama singing Al Green's Let's Stay Together at a fundraiser, and sounding good while doing it. You just know that he and Michelle have cranked that tune up on a few Friday nights...



When I was a kid, one of the coolest things I saw was the James Bond car from Thunderball, an Aston Martin. Actually, it was a bit disappointing, because they brought it to our local Sears store, and left it sitting out in the parking lot; there was no-one to demonstrate all of the hidden weapons. Nevertheless, it seemed the ultimate in spy gear, which the British cornered as smoothly as a martini, shaken, not stirred... Thirty years later, what marvels of technology have the British come up with, that will spark the imaginations of young boys everywhere? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you - - the Rock. Not just any old rock, either, but a clever place to hide a telecommunications device that was used as an information drop in Moscow.

Unfortunately, the Russians got wind of this fiendish plan, and filmed a pair of British spies using the rock, then they broadcast it on television, as well as showing the rock and how it worked. The British government denied that it was theirs, up until yesterday, when a representative of the government admitted that, yes, the rock was theirs after all. They were hoping that the Russians would take it for granite... Which makes one wonder about the abilities of our staunchest ally. After all, if we hadn't given the British military the use of our newly developed Stinger missiles, and satellite communications, they would have lost the War in the Falkland Islands. That's right, they'd all be speaking Spanish and dancing the tango right now... Maybe it's a good thing to know that, in this day and age of high tech surveillance drones and satellites circling the globe, that there remains a group dedicated to the basics, spying the old-school way. If it worked in Afghanistan, why not in the middle of urban Moscow???




RIP Etta James

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

From Dumberer To The Plumberer...


"Seventy-six percent of people polled thought that Mitt was short for mittens. I'd vote for him if his name was Mittens Romney. Other nations would fear us for being so adorable." - Craig Ferguson
"Rick Perry’s presidential campaign is in trouble. So, they're now selling his merchandise two for one. You get a foam finger, a key chain & I forget the third thing." – Jimmy Fallon
"Researchers found a frog in new guinea that is so tiny, they believe it's the smallest vertebrate on the planet. It has the tiniest backbone of any living creature, except members of Congress." – Jay Leno


A recent Newsweek cover asked the question, "Why are Obama's critics so dumb?" Which, of course, pissed off every dumb, conservative critic in the nation. Oh, is he referring to me? From Mit Romney's debates and stump speeches, to Newt's historical bombast, to everything that redstate and Michelle Malkin ever printed, the criticism of Obama and his presidency have been based on fiction. Yeah, they make up the crap and hope that if its repeated enough times, dumbass people will start to believe it... Back in the 20's and 30's it was known as yellow journalism, and was well practiced by every Hearst Corporation newspaper. Wikipedia defines it as: "Yellow journalism or the yellow press is a type of journalism that presents little or no legitimate well-researched news and instead uses eye-catching headlines to sell more newspapers.[1] Techniques may include exaggerations of news events, scandal-mongering, or sensationalism.[1] By extension "Yellow journalism" is used today as a pejorative to decry any journalism that treats news in an unprofessional or unethical fashion." I would never do that, but then, I'm not a journalist, just a lonely, satirical commentator on the news, who's main contention is that the extremist right wingers are all crazy, mentally unstable, weirdly argumentative, hypocritical, and resemble a feral tribe of weasels who will think nothing of savaging each other of there's no other easy target... As we all know, crazy people are incapable of rational thought and prone to act out in irrational ways. I thank Andrew Sullivan for expanding on my thesis. It seems that much of what I write ends up on the Daily Beast a few days later...

Soon it will be your last chance to see the new, leaner, profile of GOP candidates debate before the South Carolina primary. Next up, will be the Florida primary, twelve days later. I know there has been too many debates this year, but it has been fun watching these weasels on stage, ripping into each other. They ought to make it a road show, with a debate in each state before a caucus or primary, give more people access to live entertainment... And let's bring back Herman Cain. We don't have to vote for him, no matter what Stephen Colbert says, but he caters to those who like their economic plans from children's computer games and think quoting pokemon is profound... Supporters of the Bush family are waiting until the tea partyers wear themselves out at the primaries. They feel that everyone will be so tired of Mit Romney, that folks will welcome it when they nominate Jeb Bush at the convention. He gets to be the candidate without having to waste all that money campaigning, Remember, candidates are chosen, not elected...

Speaking of dumbasses, our old friend Joe the Plumber is running for Congress in Ohio. He couldn't make it as political pundit, author, or plumber, and he has become addicted to the public spotlight. He still has the arrogance and egotism to believe that people are impressed every time he opens his mouth, when just the opposite is true. It only took Joe about three years to realize that his BFF and stepping stone to fame, if not fortunes, John McCain was using him, something that he bitches about every time he gets in contact with a journalist. John hasn't visited, or called, or supported his candidacy, or paid attention to him at all, and the let down is harsh, the disappointment a bitter pill to swallow...

 Too bad the television networks won't go around the country and televise debates that promise to be entertaining, because I'd love to see Joe debate his Democratic opponent. Maybe a fist fight, if he gets too embarrassed and frustrated... Who knows, maybe the next series of reality shows will feature members of Congress. Kinda puts a new spin on the name Big Brother... Soon, there will be new parliamentary elections in Iran and Russia, unless they get canceled by some disgruntled, paranoid Vladimir  Putin certainly is unhappy that there is an organized opposition to his becoming president again, no telling what he might do next. He canceled coming to terms with them after one meeting, a tactic he must have gotten from Israel and the Palestinians. Expect him to find ways to jail his opponents, or then to impale their heads on pikes...




Friday, January 13, 2012

Newt The Attack Muffin, Burning Hunk Of Arab Spring


David Letterman's "Top Ten Ways Kim Jong Un Celebrated His Birthday"

10. Enjoyed ice cream made by Kim Jong Ben and Kim Jong Jerry
9. Laid in bed, depressed, like a typical Capricorn
8. Hit Vegas with his 'crew:' Putin, Chavez, Ahmadinejad and Zach Galifianakis
7. Had Marilyn Monroe lookalike sing, 'Happy Birthday, Mr. Supreme Commander of the People's Army, brilliant comrade, and great person born of heaven'
6. After seeing how good Charles Barkley looks, joined Weight Watchers
5. Nice quiet dinner with a few close human shields
4. Caught surprise Patton Oswalt stand-up set at the Pyongyang Comedy Store
3. Watched funny videos of North Koreans crying on YouTube
2. Treated himself to a deep-tissue jowl massage
1. Executed his pastry chef for using those trick birthday candles



I never thought I'd live to see this: that the country of Myanmar is releasing over 2000 political prisoners from jail, they are sponsoring more democratic elections that will even allow Aung San Soo Kyi to run for office, and last, that we will be sending an ambassador to their country. I guess North Korea and Iran will be next, for what, I don't really know...


I want to give a shout out to Stephen Colbert, and thank either him or one of his writers for playing my drinking game during the Republican candidate's debates: "During the debates I drank a shot every time I heard the word 'contraception.' I was more wasted than a contribution to Jon Huntsman." – Stephen Colbert


Here's a good piece written in the Washington Post, on the 5 myths of the Arab Spring:

1. Obama’s 2009 Cairo speech helped inspire the Arab Spring.
2. These are Facebook and Twitter revolutions.
3. The Obama administration threw Hosni Mubarak under the bus.
4. Saddam Hussein’s fall in Iraq inspired the Arab Spring.
5. The rebellions will further damage prospects for the Arab-Israeli peace process.m Hussein’s fall in Iraq                                          inspired the Arab Spring.

The reasons are fleshed out in the article, and I have tried to promote myth #2 in different posts. The others are just ways that the US tries to slap itself on the back and garner compliments for its policies towards the Middle East, and a thank you for invading Iraq and Afghanistan. Worse than a thundering silence in response, or even a rasberry, are the claims still coming out of Fallujah, that there is an upward tick in birth defects and birth deformities due to exposure to depleted uranium, which we used to jacket bullets, encase missile heads, and line trucks and Humvees as armor plating. Other bad things going on in Tunisia, have been the rash of copycat self-immolations taking place, and not just by young people.

We have people in North Africa and Tibetan monks in China setting themselves on fire. We already know the similarities of Islam with Old Testament Christianity and Orthodox Judaism; now I'm wondering at the similarities between Islam and Buddhism, the religious impulse that gives people the courage to perform the ultimate in self-destruction. The closest I think we come to this in the US, is the acutely high suicide rate of returning soldiers, fueled by grief, guilt, and the realization that they no longer fit into society.



While we are debating the fate of our health care here, the government of Brazil has made a bold, new move: it has ordered its health services and insurance companies to replace any ruptured breast implants made by a certain French company. The now defunct company had used an inferior grade of industrial silicon in its implants, which have been prone to rupture easily. This might be a joke, if it weren't for the fact that they had sold over 25,000 sets of implants to Brazilians... Perhaps they just want to show how firm their domestic policies are, for when the Iranian President comes to visit...

While thinking of false boobies, the GOP presidential candidates come to mind, with the South Carolina primary coming up next week. All ready, the media is going on how Mit has become the front runner and has all but captured the nomination. Newt Gingrich, who once promised a positive campaign, has come out with the most negative ads against Romney, so much that the Democrats won't have to come up with anything of their own, they will just recycle Newt's ads... Even Fox News has dredged up Rudy Guliani to attack back at Newt, calling him ignorant and stupid, with its lady commentators calling Newt an attack muffin... They are accusing Newt of being a socialist, a Communist, and a Maoist for making a criticism about capitalism and Wall Street's losses two years ago. These are labels they usually save up for the actual candidate, and were the same things that they tried to use as a smear on Barack Obama...


I had never met or seen my Congressional Representative in all the time I have lived here in Colorado. I'd read several articles that he had ghost written for him in the local newspapers, but had not seen him on television. Until the other night, last week, where there was a quick interview with him over some conservative talking point. Listening to his speech patterns and physical demeanor during the interview, it was clear as day, and only the fact that this is one of the most conservative districts in the US showed that our emperor had no clothes. More specifically, he is such a closet queen, and I'm surprised that he hasn't been outed before now...
I'm sure that he knows hoe effeminate he sounds, which may be why he always declines to debate anyone, that and because he doesn't have an original idea to call his own...



Tuesday, January 10, 2012

HTTP://WWW.FREEAMIR.ORG

"There's a plan for the Pentagon to cut almost half a trillion dollars from the military. The Pentagon plans to pay for future wars by divorcing Kobe Bryant." – Conan O'Brien
"The U.S. government is selling $30 billion worth of fighter jets to Saudi Arabia. Yeah, it’s part of a new initiative called, 'Operation Regret This In Five Years.'" – Jimmy Fallon

If you are an American-born Iranian picked up and accused of spying in Tehran, you sure got a speedy trial, along with a state-appointed lawyer that you first met during the trial. Today the Iranian court sentenced you to death, could there really be any other verdict? Your family back in Michigan said you were there visiting your grandmother, and that should be easy to prove, just provide the airline tickets to whichever country you flew to before crossing into Iran. The bad part is that the CIA has gone silent about you since your arrest, not even a belligerent denial that they even knew of you.

Iran doesn't acknowledge dual citizenship, you are either Persian or not, and Amir Mirzai Hekmati was accused of the ambiguous crimes of being Corrupt on Earth, and waging war with God, who just happens in this case to be represented by God's best friend, Iran. Since the Iranian judiciary has never provided a list as to what consists of being Corrupt on Earth, it ends up meaning whatever they want it to, on a case by case basis. Now, the government has a pawn to use for any future negotiations. Politics gets ugly, too bad we are playing with a person's life...

There are mixed reports on how well sanctions are working on Iran. The problem is that we are trying to coerce them into being sensible, when they just end up digging their heels in deeper, like some teenage boy throwing a snit-fit. Even if they can't afford it and it will wreck their economy, Iran has identified their nuclear program with a macho sense of national pride, and their leaders will never give it up. Expect Israel to actually try to bomb the new facility built into the mountainside outside of Qom within the next three months.

Panicking, many Iranian citizens have made runs on their banks, pulling all of their money out and asking for dollars. This has caused the government to announce that it would no longer be dealing in dollars as a backup currency, and future deals with other countries will be done in rials and the currency of that country. China and Russia won't go along with the new sanctions, so they will step up trading with Iran under the guise of trying to influence them to cut down their nuclear program. But, if Iran insists on continuing, Russia and china will be glad to sell them parts and technology...

Politically in the Middle East, Iran isn't very happy with its friend, Turkey. Turkey won't go along and support the Syrian government in committing genocide on its citizens. But then, it looks like no other country besides Iraq is supporting Syria. The Arab League was embarrassed to watch the Syrian army shoot people while they were observing, and having their observers being intimidated and bullied around. Qatar is even saying that maybe they should ask NATO to step in, similar to what happened in Libya. That way, if things go terribly wrong, the US can be blamed... Hmmm, maybe there have been outside paid agitators trying to rouse the Syrian population...


Is it just me, that the Republican primary candidates talking points are so far removed from reality as to make them inconsequential? I doubt that any of them can relate to any of the actual problems that us peons have to deal with. I shudder to think any one of them at the helm, especially Rick Perry.

My nephew is a chef in austin, and he has worked at a restaurant that is popular among Texas politicians. He's served Lady Bird Johnson, George W Bush, and, of course, Rick Perry. His impression of the current governor is that not only is Rick Perry incredibly dumb, but he is a big time alcoholic, as well. That might be good for the ol'-boys that use him as their puppet in running the state, but won't work in Washington DC... unless you like the idea of having our country taken over by Texas oilmen again. More bewildering, is why does Texas elect stupid men as their governors? I know that the Texas educational system is really bad, and it pains me to see the results in my sister's grandchildren, who are bright and smart and talented, being dumbed down in the public schools...

Friday, January 6, 2012

US Frees Iranian Crew Held By Pirates, Media focuses on Rick Santorum




I haven't been able to find out any more news on the Finnish investigation into the 160 tons of munitions and 69 Patriot missiles found on a ship loaded in Germany and bound for Shanghai, China. The only other tidbits of information that the Finns were trying to leave an opening for an explanation by the US government, was that they thought the ship was to stop in South Korea first... So far, the US hasn't been able to come with a credible story that doesn't resemble any argument made by the Reagan administration over the Iran/Contra affair...

On a kinder note, that balances the shrill tones coming out of Tehran lately, US ships rescued an Iranian fishing boat that had been captured by Somali pirates, and had held the crew as prisoners for over 45 days, using their ship as a mother ships for other pirate raids. To make it ironic, the rescue was performed by the John Stennis aircraft carrier group, the same group that Tehran had warned not to come back into the Persian Gulf. You're welcome... The crew was treated kindly and with respect, or so the spin that the press releases stated, before being sent back on their way to Iran. 15 Somali pirates were captured, no announcement was made as to what we will do with them.

Iran has been screaming bloody murder because if the US and Europe implement the sanctions against purchasing Iranian oil, there goes about 80% of Iran's income, and those Grand Ayatollahs and General in the Republican Guards won't be able to buy new cashmere clothes made from special herds  of goats kept for just themselves. Maybe the Iranian leaders should reconsider their decisions regarding their nuclear program as being attached to their balls, the bigger the program gets, the more it makes them a macho man... I would hate to be a diplomate, all of the crap you put up with and posturing all sides make, and that's just for your own country. Double and triple the amount of posturing for each country you have to deal with.



Now that Rick Santorum won the Iowa caucus by eight votes, the media must get their investigations in before the New Hampshire primary this Tuesday. Since he was last voted out of office in 2006, Rick has made his millions the old fashioned way - by lobbying for K Street and cashing in on the connections he made while in Congress. Compared to Newt Gingrich's arrogant blowhards, Mit Romney's gaffs in public are rather quaint and endearing. But, if these guys make so many mistakes while campaigning, who knows what kind of lies they will attempt to get away with? At least with George W Bush, we could tell when he was telling a lie, his lips moved. Newt's lies mostly involve building himself up to make him look good, that he worked with Ronald Reagan to develop star wars or whatever, when he was a freshman representative that nobody had heard of before. While he did do some policy making as Speaker of the House, most of his policies led to his downfall, being ousted as Speaker and later, losing re-election. He was also known as the meanest person in Congress and enjoyed bullying. which is why many current Republicans are not big fans.

Like it or not, we should look at having a Mitt as viable candidate. The primaries so far have been vicious, and all of the backbiting and horrible stories from Romney's past should have come out, and the Democrats not having spent a dime. So, Obama can appear to be above that style of bickering, all he has to do is show how the criticisms that Romeny is leveling at him now, are based on small lies and distortions of the truth. This has actually been a more entertaining year in politics, and for that I have to say God Bless the Tea Party!

oh yes, don't ever Google the word:  santorum. it's not pretty what you will find...


Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Leaving Iowa Behind, Nuri Must Be Impeached



"The pro-adultery website ashleymadison.com - have you heard of this? It's a website for married people that want to cheat. Anyway, they have come out and endorsed Newt Gingrich for president. I guess it's their way of thanking him for all the years of business." – Jay Leno

"Yesterday in New York City, Donald Trump officially changed his political affiliation from Republican to Independent. And Donald's hair has switched from pelt to carpet sample." – Jay Leno

"John Edwards - remember that sleazeball who ran for president? He's asking that his upcoming criminal trial be delayed because he's been diagnosed with a medical condition. Lets hope it's erectile dysfunction." – Jay Leno

Thank God that the Iowa caucus is over, all of that media hype for less than 150,000 voters. Mit Romney won over Rick Santorum by eight votes, and that's about as much excitement as I can muster. Part of it is snobbery on my part; having grown up on the left coast, we always thought of ourselves hipper and cooler than those who lived away from the ocean. Folks from the Midwest were thought of as hicks who were stuck in a conventional way of living, with conventional ways of thought. I assumed that they would frown at my lifestyle and not comprehend the things I was interested in. Now that I am much older and living far away from the Pacific Ocean, I can see how my assumptions were based on the arrogance of youth and fondness for telling older folks to f**k off...

Also, I have never been to Iowa and other surrounding states. I never bothered to connect with relatives who lived in Kentucky and Arkansas, I had plenty of cousins and grandparents who had moved to California, and there was no way that they'd ever go back... Michelle Bachmann came in last and has dropped out of the race, though it would have been fun watching all of the ways her campaign used trying to keep her husband out of the spotlight and in the closet... In the days to come, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, and that blow-hard Newt Gingrich should also drop out, leaving Ron Paul alone as the champion of conservatives, Christians, disenfranchised elderly, and anti-governmental radicals under 30... If Ron Paul were to win the nomination, would he invite his son to run with him, or would he shun him for some other candidate, stop riding on my coat-tails, sonny, grow up and be a man...

What have we learned from the first Republican gab-fest of the season? One, that unless we have a national debate over the cult of Mormonism, Romney will muddle along. Second, that as long as there is a similar choice available, conservative, evangelical  Republicans will not vote for a woman, and tell their wives not to vote for one, either. Third, the Heartland is probably not as radically conservative as I and the media make it out to be, that it is more a figment of the six o'clock news than reality. It is a lesson that the GOP has yet to learn, that it can only be revitalized by those of a more accepting and moderate persuasion. Even though catering to the extreme right wing crazies is fun and madcap, the rush is short-lived and you come down too hard. Yes, right wing politics is the Republican form of speed and cocaine... Which is why I've been saying that the right wing evangelical conservatives really need medical attention and a nice hospital ward instead of allowing them out on the streets, where it can only end up in violence and more shootings...





No sooner than the last American troops had left Iraq, ol' Mr Peanut-head of the Middle East set off bombs all across Iraq, either in celebration or a last thumbing of the nose to his friends and former allies. Nuri al-Maliki also issued a warrant for the arrest of the Kurdish Vice-Premier, accusing him of some trumped-up treasonous BS. It now looks like Iraq is sliding towards that civil war we tried to stop during eight years of occupation. Ironically, many Iraqis, trying to avoid the domestic bombings and everyday violence, moved to peaceful Syria...

Another irony, is that nowadays the Arab Brotherhood is seen as a moderating influence. While Afghanistan appears to be serious in trying to recover all of the money that was stolen from the Kabul Bank, newly- rich Taliban groups are opening up storefront shops in Qatar, a very long way from home. Oh yeah, it's better this way, to negotiate a peace with the Americans... The newly-rich Taliban is even trying to make peace with its Pakistani counterparts, to stop the bickering and internal warfare so that less innocent Pakistani civilians get killed. It might be a decent trade-off, to allow spy drones to buzz around all day if the damned CIA will only remove their operating bases... Which begs the question, with all of the fast moving changes of policies taking place in the Middle East, where are we going to put our rendition centers to torture and interrogate Islamic prisoners? Instead of closing the prison at Guantanamo, it looks like we are refurbishing the base and will keep it open. It may get a lot more prisoners, as we withdraw our troops from the international stage and begin to concentrate on the enemies within... maybe that's why our President signed into law on New Year's Eve, saying that we could detain indefinitely American citizens suspected of supporting terrorism. Don't need any proof, and it will be under military jurisdiction, so those detained won't get a speedy trial, we can hold you on any trumped-up charge that some paranoid right wing crazy in the Justice Department can think of... We have met the enemy, and he is us...

Ahh, but have we accomplished anything in Iraq? We spent bucket-loads of cash and it didn't prove to be a transformative agent. Iraq may also be the only country where al-Qaeda has a firm foot-hold, everywhere else they're thought of as a bunch of violent blow-hards. Which is good, because trying to convince other people to blow themselves up for you should not be a thriving business model... We never successfully rebuilt their electricity plants and other infrastructure. We haven't left its political institutions on solid ground.

About the only thing we did do right was help the Kurds establish a state of their own, one that is in jeopardy now that there no longer are US troops to keep the Iraqi military away. Strange, that the new government of Iraq may join with Turkey and succeed where Saddam Hussein left off, at destroying Kurdistan as a safe haven for ethnic Kurds. Or, we could use this as a good excuse to re-intervene sometime soon, especially if we get a new Republican president...

Sunday, January 1, 2012

As We Begin The New Year...


"There have been a lot of changes in the polls lately. It's unbelievable. President Obama's ratings are up, Ron Paul is leading in the polls in Iowa, Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich are in a tie, and Rick Santorum is still two points behind Kim Jong-Il. He's got a way to go." –Jay Leno

"Rick Perry told reporters this week that he has a permit to carry a concealed handgun. He also has a concealed vocabulary, concealed knowledge of the issues, concealed tolerance..." –Jay Leno

"The independent Super PAC supporting Mitt Romney announced it would suspend anti- Newt Gingrich ads during Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. They said they're doing it out of respect to Gingrich, his family, and his mistresses." –Jay Leno



It's a new year, and I'm sobered by the fact that if I were a blogger in Vietnam, Syria, Bahrain, Egypt, or Iran, there's a good chance that I would be in jail for blogging, been abused and beaten for daring to express my own opinion. The bloggers who are in jail in these countries, and some have died while in prison, were charged with variations of making treasonous, or anti-Islamic behavior. In Egypt, a blogger was charged with spreading lies about the military, which ended up being true. He revealed that the military was performing virginity tests on the women they detained. This resulted in mass protests by Egyptian women, and the promise by the military to no longer probe them. We'll see how long that lasts... and the blogger remains in jail.

Each younger generation is going to be irreverent towards their elders, and this fight against the Internet is my generation's war against our children, trying to coax the genie back inside the bottle. Of course, there is always the danger like what is occurring in North Korea, where the 28 year-old leader now expects everyone older than he is to act as cannon fodder and throw themselves in front of any dangers to his life, but usually the younger generations are more moderate. Jung-un has to prove somehow that he is just as crazy as his father and grandfather were. But, what can you expect when the only advice you get is from old, old generals who have had their every whims catered to for the last 40 years.

Thankfully, the Pentagon is trying to get rid of most of these deadweight Generals with early retirements. If only other countries would follow suit, and as a special reward, we give them all medical marijuana cards so they can stay drunk and stoned until they die. It's just a little service that their wives and grandchildren will thank us for...


Speaking of drugs and alcohol, I miss them. I have given up my imbibing ways because of diabetes, it's difficult enough trying to keep sugar out of my diet, as its put into everything I buy at the store, even that loaf of organic wheat bread... The way that the political season has played out, I often wondered if I was finally having psychedelic flashbacks. Watching the Republican debates, I would blink my eyes and look for the Mad Hatter as the commentator running them. The cast of characters still don't seem real, which begs the question: how in the world did Rick Perry and Newt Gingrich ever get elected in the first place? We know that the southern industrialists like to finance some dumb pawn who will do whatever they say, but there are so many pawns in this race, that it looks more like a bad cartoon or animatronic figures making those gaffes.

Probably the most in-you-face and cynical choice of pawns, was the Koch brothers financing and choosing a black Uncle Tom figure in Herman Cain. Cain's speeches and platform seemed to have been written by a nerdy high school boy, with his economic plan taken from a Sims computer game, and his making references to Chris Tucker and the Pokemon movie when talking to the press. Herman was allowed to make some extra bucks from selling his books, but the brothers didn't do a very good job checking his background for anything that could be embarrassing, oh, say, a few sexual harassment charges and 13 year extra-marital affair...

This is what happens when elections are bought and too much money is floating around.  Unfortunately, it will get worse before it gets better. The system will change at the same time that Wall Street becomes honest and transparent, which means never. The GOP was supposed to change the ways it did politics, create a larger tent to include more fresh ideas. Instead, they fed the psychedelic kool-aid to the masses while just sending in more clowns. Happy New Year, suckers...