From Dumberer To The Plumberer...

"Seventy-six percent of people polled thought that Mitt was short for mittens. I'd vote for him if his name was Mittens Romney. Other nations would fear us for being so adorable." - Craig Ferguson

"Rick Perry’s presidential campaign is in trouble. So, they're now selling his merchandise two for one. You get a foam finger, a key chain & I forget the third thing." – Jimmy Fallon

"Researchers found a frog in new guinea that is so tiny, they believe it's the smallest vertebrate on the planet. It has the tiniest backbone of any living creature, except members of Congress." – Jay Leno

A recent Newsweek cover asked the question, "Why are Obama's critics so dumb?" Which, of course, pissed off every dumb, conservative critic in the nation. Oh, is he referring to me? From Mit Romney's debates and stump speeches, to Newt's historical bombast, to everything that redstate and Michelle Malkin ever printed, the criticism of Obama and his presidency have been based on fiction. Yeah, they make up the crap and hope that if its repeated enough times, dumbass people will start to believe it... Back in the 20's and 30's it was known as yellow journalism, and was well practiced by every Hearst Corporation newspaper. Wikipedia defines it as: "Yellow journalism or the yellow press is a type of journalism that presents little or no legitimate well-researched news and instead uses eye-catching headlines to sell more newspapers.[1] Techniques may include exaggerations of news events, scandal-mongering, or sensationalism.[1] By extension "Yellow journalism" is used today as a pejorative to decry any journalism that treats news in an unprofessional or unethical fashion." I would never do that, but then, I'm not a journalist, just a lonely, satirical commentator on the news, who's main contention is that the extremist right wingers are all crazy, mentally unstable, weirdly argumentative, hypocritical, and resemble a feral tribe of weasels who will think nothing of savaging each other of there's no other easy target... As we all know, crazy people are incapable of rational thought and prone to act out in irrational ways. I thank Andrew Sullivan for expanding on my thesis. It seems that much of what I write ends up on the Daily Beast a few days later...

Soon it will be your last chance to see the new, leaner, profile of GOP candidates debate before the South Carolina primary. Next up, will be the Florida primary, twelve days later. I know there has been too many debates this year, but it has been fun watching these weasels on stage, ripping into each other. They ought to make it a road show, with a debate in each state before a caucus or primary, give more people access to live entertainment... And let's bring back Herman Cain. We don't have to vote for him, no matter what Stephen Colbert says, but he caters to those who like their economic plans from children's computer games and think quoting pokemon is profound... Supporters of the Bush family are waiting until the tea partyers wear themselves out at the primaries. They feel that everyone will be so tired of Mit Romney, that folks will welcome it when they nominate Jeb Bush at the convention. He gets to be the candidate without having to waste all that money campaigning, Remember, candidates are chosen, not elected...

Speaking of dumbasses, our old friend Joe the Plumber is running for Congress in Ohio. He couldn't make it as political pundit, author, or plumber, and he has become addicted to the public spotlight. He still has the arrogance and egotism to believe that people are impressed every time he opens his mouth, when just the opposite is true. It only took Joe about three years to realize that his BFF and stepping stone to fame, if not fortunes, John McCain was using him, something that he bitches about every time he gets in contact with a journalist. John hasn't visited, or called, or supported his candidacy, or paid attention to him at all, and the let down is harsh, the disappointment a bitter pill to swallow...

 Too bad the television networks won't go around the country and televise debates that promise to be entertaining, because I'd love to see Joe debate his Democratic opponent. Maybe a fist fight, if he gets too embarrassed and frustrated... Who knows, maybe the next series of reality shows will feature members of Congress. Kinda puts a new spin on the name Big Brother... Soon, there will be new parliamentary elections in Iran and Russia, unless they get canceled by some disgruntled, paranoid Vladimir  Putin certainly is unhappy that there is an organized opposition to his becoming president again, no telling what he might do next. He canceled coming to terms with them after one meeting, a tactic he must have gotten from Israel and the Palestinians. Expect him to find ways to jail his opponents, or then to impale their heads on pikes...