Friday, January 13, 2012

Newt The Attack Muffin, Burning Hunk Of Arab Spring

David Letterman's "Top Ten Ways Kim Jong Un Celebrated His Birthday"

10. Enjoyed ice cream made by Kim Jong Ben and Kim Jong Jerry
9. Laid in bed, depressed, like a typical Capricorn
8. Hit Vegas with his 'crew:' Putin, Chavez, Ahmadinejad and Zach Galifianakis
7. Had Marilyn Monroe lookalike sing, 'Happy Birthday, Mr. Supreme Commander of the People's Army, brilliant comrade, and great person born of heaven'
6. After seeing how good Charles Barkley looks, joined Weight Watchers
5. Nice quiet dinner with a few close human shields
4. Caught surprise Patton Oswalt stand-up set at the Pyongyang Comedy Store
3. Watched funny videos of North Koreans crying on YouTube
2. Treated himself to a deep-tissue jowl massage
1. Executed his pastry chef for using those trick birthday candles

I never thought I'd live to see this: that the country of Myanmar is releasing over 2000 political prisoners from jail, they are sponsoring more democratic elections that will even allow Aung San Soo Kyi to run for office, and last, that we will be sending an ambassador to their country. I guess North Korea and Iran will be next, for what, I don't really know...

I want to give a shout out to Stephen Colbert, and thank either him or one of his writers for playing my drinking game during the Republican candidate's debates: "During the debates I drank a shot every time I heard the word 'contraception.' I was more wasted than a contribution to Jon Huntsman." – Stephen Colbert

Here's a good piece written in the Washington Post, on the 5 myths of the Arab Spring:

1. Obama’s 2009 Cairo speech helped inspire the Arab Spring.
2. These are Facebook and Twitter revolutions.
3. The Obama administration threw Hosni Mubarak under the bus.
4. Saddam Hussein’s fall in Iraq inspired the Arab Spring.
5. The rebellions will further damage prospects for the Arab-Israeli peace process.m Hussein’s fall in Iraq                                          inspired the Arab Spring.

The reasons are fleshed out in the article, and I have tried to promote myth #2 in different posts. The others are just ways that the US tries to slap itself on the back and garner compliments for its policies towards the Middle East, and a thank you for invading Iraq and Afghanistan. Worse than a thundering silence in response, or even a rasberry, are the claims still coming out of Fallujah, that there is an upward tick in birth defects and birth deformities due to exposure to depleted uranium, which we used to jacket bullets, encase missile heads, and line trucks and Humvees as armor plating. Other bad things going on in Tunisia, have been the rash of copycat self-immolations taking place, and not just by young people.

We have people in North Africa and Tibetan monks in China setting themselves on fire. We already know the similarities of Islam with Old Testament Christianity and Orthodox Judaism; now I'm wondering at the similarities between Islam and Buddhism, the religious impulse that gives people the courage to perform the ultimate in self-destruction. The closest I think we come to this in the US, is the acutely high suicide rate of returning soldiers, fueled by grief, guilt, and the realization that they no longer fit into society.

While we are debating the fate of our health care here, the government of Brazil has made a bold, new move: it has ordered its health services and insurance companies to replace any ruptured breast implants made by a certain French company. The now defunct company had used an inferior grade of industrial silicon in its implants, which have been prone to rupture easily. This might be a joke, if it weren't for the fact that they had sold over 25,000 sets of implants to Brazilians... Perhaps they just want to show how firm their domestic policies are, for when the Iranian President comes to visit...

While thinking of false boobies, the GOP presidential candidates come to mind, with the South Carolina primary coming up next week. All ready, the media is going on how Mit has become the front runner and has all but captured the nomination. Newt Gingrich, who once promised a positive campaign, has come out with the most negative ads against Romney, so much that the Democrats won't have to come up with anything of their own, they will just recycle Newt's ads... Even Fox News has dredged up Rudy Guliani to attack back at Newt, calling him ignorant and stupid, with its lady commentators calling Newt an attack muffin... They are accusing Newt of being a socialist, a Communist, and a Maoist for making a criticism about capitalism and Wall Street's losses two years ago. These are labels they usually save up for the actual candidate, and were the same things that they tried to use as a smear on Barack Obama...

I had never met or seen my Congressional Representative in all the time I have lived here in Colorado. I'd read several articles that he had ghost written for him in the local newspapers, but had not seen him on television. Until the other night, last week, where there was a quick interview with him over some conservative talking point. Listening to his speech patterns and physical demeanor during the interview, it was clear as day, and only the fact that this is one of the most conservative districts in the US showed that our emperor had no clothes. More specifically, he is such a closet queen, and I'm surprised that he hasn't been outed before now...
I'm sure that he knows hoe effeminate he sounds, which may be why he always declines to debate anyone, that and because he doesn't have an original idea to call his own...

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