Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Michele Invokes Ghost Of Elvis, Putin Puts On Manly Spectacle Again

David Ignatius
Maureen Dowd
“Printing more money to play politics at this particular time in American history is almost treacherous — or treasonous in my opinion. I don’t know what y’all would do to him in Iowa, but we would treat him pretty ugly down in Texas.” - Rick Perry
"Why do conservatives always have to brand people traitors? Why can’t they just say “You’re mistaken”?" - Maureen Dowd
“We may disagree with our political opponents, but we certainly think they’re all patriots — even those who wanted to secede from the union.” - Jay Carney



Not only is The King turning over in his grave this year, but he is stalking the Midwest and the South. In South Carolina yesterday, Michelle Bachmann played Elvis tunes before her political rally. She then went on in typical Michelese: "Before we get started, let's all say 'Happy Birthday' to Elvis Presley today," said Bachmann while speaking in the Palmetto State. "We played you a little bit of promise land when we pulled up. You can't do better than Elvis Presley."

The only problem is that Elvis was born on January 8, 1935. People acknowledged that yesterday was the anniversary of the day that Elvis died, many held a candle-light vigil in front of Graceland, where Mrs Bachmann dare not set foot anytime soon... What with fried butter-on-a-stick at the Iowa fair, with Elvis music in the background, his ghost must be out stalking Michele Bachmann, hunka hunka burning ectoplasm...

Summer nights, ghosts, political desire, and monster films reminds me of the ending of the poem "The Bride of Frankenstein" by Edward Field:

And perhaps even the monster lived
to roam the earth, his desire still ungratified;
and lovers out walking in shadowy and deserted places
will see his shape loom up over them, their doom --
and children sleeping in their beds
will wake up in the dark night screaming
as his hideous body grabs them.

I'm not sure if I'm trying to make fun of Marcus Bachmann or Rick Perry, the monster hidden deep within me refuses to fully reveal itself. All I know is that it's certainly fun with all of the conservative crazies out and empowering themselves in public. It took two days before Mr Perry started waxing vitriolic. Being downright mean and attacking your opponent personally is just good old Texas-style politics, he don't know no other way... I know that we're not supposed to mess with Texas, but what happens when a Texan messes with us? Maybe we could ask Karl Rove...



Well, at least in Russia they give their citizens more of a choice for political office  - not. It's time for the next President, the current Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, to begin going out in public and get himself photographed doing manly things. As reporter Ellen Barry put it in the NY Times: "Political competition has been all but extinguished since Vladimir V. Putin came to power, so elections serve as little more than a ritual display of loyalty. But Kremlin insiders see popularity as a key to the survival of a government that, 20 years after the Soviet collapse, has few stable state institutions other than its leaders’ personalities.


This accounts for a political life that sometimes looks like a never-ending campaign, in which leaders extinguish wildfires, upbraid billionaire industrialists, or, as was seen last week, scuba dive in the company of a camera crew. Polling data has become an essential part of governing."


The latest stunt pulled by Mr Putin, had him scuba diving in a whopping six feet of water, and "discovering" an archeological artifact that was planted there earlier. Why he persists in these charades is beyond me; does he have such blatant ego and little self-awareness to realize how foolish he looks? Maybe that's why the average Russian polls positive on these things, it's their way of getting back at their leaders for exhibiting such greed and corruption. Oh, yes, Vladimir, show us again how brave and courageous you are! Just wait until we open this next bottle of vodka... Not to be outdone, Dmitry Medvedev has negotiated with Iran a proposal to reopen nuclear talks. If you can't retrieve an ancient artifact, nuke em...

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