"When Herman Cain was in charge of the National Restaurant Association, there were allegations of sexual harassment. They have revealed one came from Sara Lee." – David Letterman
"Turns out 999 was just his rating system: she's a 9, she's a 9, she's a 9." – Jay Leno
"Of course, Cain still doesn't get it. Like he said he will address all these charges at a press conference tomorrow at Hooters." – Jay Leno
Top Ten Signs Herman Cain Is Losing It
10. Plans to raise funds by suing himself for sexual harassment
9. Now smokes more than his campaign manager
8. Was recently found hiding in a drainpipe with a golden gun
7. Keeps asking voters if they want to touch his mustache
6. Claims Justin Bieber is his father
5. Campaigning as his hilarious alter ego, Pee-Wee Herman Cain
4. Just paid a visit to Dr. Conrad Murray
3. Spent last of campaign funds betting on the Colts
2. Gave rambling, drunken speech -- oh I'm sorry, that was Rick Perry
1. He's engaged to Kim Kardashian
But the recent Republican debate helped to cheer me up. Thank god we have a bunch of dumbass losers running for the Republican ticket, because there are only 13 more debates scheduled until we vote and choose one of them. The theme of these debates seem to be who can appear more right wing than the others, except for John Huntsman, who sounds the most sane and reasonable. Unfortunately for John, his approval ratings went down from 3% before the debate, to 0% afterwards, being called Mit Light...
"currently spending more than $400,000 a week on television and radio advertising in Iowa, presenting a determinedly folksy appeal. He’s also spending more than $100,000 a week on television advertising in New Hampshire and more than that blanketing Granite State radio."
What I find interesting, is that here we have a black man married to a black woman, yet making passes at white women, and none at black women. Does that mean he has anger issues with white women, or a need to be rejected by them? Also interesting, is the only other allegation of sexual harassment against a black man in the government was placed against Clarence Thomas, who is married to a white woman, and was made by a black woman... I'm sure there are endless hours of therapy that could come out of all this, but I'm reminded by a quote I saw in a documentary from the 1970's about Stax records. A young black woman was asked why so many black men seemed to be going around with with white women at the time. She replied that it was because black women just wouldn't put up with their shit...
The next debate is Saturday night. To make it a drinking game, you will have to down a shot every time that Rick Perry commits a gaffe, Herman Cain sidesteps a question about taking a lie detector test or mentions 9-9-9 instead, or Newt Gingrich says something condescending and mean to the journalists asking him questions... Also, down a shot if Michele Bachmann gives a coherent answer... I want to say something about Ron Paul, but I like the old curmudgeon, he's even freakier than me. If only he didn't resemble your creepy grandpa that tries to get along with the children every year and fails miserably...
Oh, and sorry to those two guys who have been emailing me with the same response and link to Herman Cain's website. I published you guys once out of courtesy, but doing it every time you send me an email would be obnoxious. Personally, I'm not impressed with an economic plan taken from a SimCity computer game, not even Herman is able to talk beyond the few talking points he's memorized. He has shown that he's not interested is learning about foreign policy, and the only reason we should vote for him is because he projects friendliness and self-confidence, unless you are a young white woman...