Wednesday, March 24, 2010

A Little Fetish With Your Tea? New American Lexicon, Google = Democracy

Anneli Rufus
Kathleen Parker
Maureen Dowd
"You can always count on Americans to do the right thing, after they've exhausted all of the alternatives" - Winston Churchill
"There will be no cooperation for the rest of this year" - John McCain
"And the Democrats were thrilled, as you can guess. And they got a little rowdy, as Democrats can do. They tipped over Rush Limbaugh." –David Letterman

It looks like I'm jumping right into the sick and perverse this morning, perhaps a result of too much caffeine. Anneli Rufus's piece linked above deals with a conservative male sexual fetish, one I never knew about - "pedal pumping—a fetish in which men watch women trying to start stubborn cars." I know it seems pretty silly and tame, but most fetishes deal with an attachment to a form of abuse that occurred in childhood that's been coupled to desire. Even weirder is the Mid Western habit of dressing up in a costume resembling a teddy bear or plush toy and using it during sex, or putting on diapers and having someone pee on you, which is a favorite of Louisiana Representative David Vitter. I guess if the latest spat of name-calling is the Democratic Elites, then it's fair to sling back with the Perverse Conservatives... but it is indicative of the psychological undercurrents that moves along certain segments of our culture, for better or worse.

Kathleen Parker gives us this new entry into the american lexicon:


Etymology: Eponym for Rep. Bart Stupak.

Function: verb

1: In a legislative process, to obstruct passage of a proposed law on the basis of a moral principle (i.e., protecting the unborn), accumulating power in the process, then at a key moment surrendering in exchange for a fig leaf, the size of which varies according to the degree of emasculation of said legislator and/or as a reflection of just how stupid people are presumed to be. (Slang: backstabber.)

From John Avlon at the Daily Beast is another entry, his reaction to a recent Harris Poll. I also would link it to the rising rate of domestic abuse of spouses and children that will continue to rise until the job rate goes down:

Obama Derangement Syndrome—pathological hatred of the president posing as patriotism—has infected the Republican Party. Here's new data to prove it:
67 percent of Republicans (and 40 percent of Americans overall) believe that Obama is a socialist.
57 percent of Republicans (32 percent overall) believe that Obama is a Muslim
45 percent of Republicans (25 percent overall) agree with the Birthers in their belief that Obama was "not born in the United States and so is not eligible to be president"
38 percent of Republicans (20 percent overall) say that Obama is "doing many of the things that Hitler did"
Scariest of all, 24 percent of Republicans (14 percent overall) say that Obama "may be the Antichrist."

My local newspaper is proud to publish the headline stating that Republicans are doing their best to stall the health care bill, yet already such craven hypocrites are releasing press releases telling what parts they contributed to... Not only are Congressional Republicans acting grumpy after they lost the health care vote, they are continuing in trying to obstruct regular business in any way that they can. Filibustering every bill that comes on the Senate floor, introducing frivolous amendments that must be considered, and now refusing to attend any committee meeting after 2 pm in the afternoon. This has affected the Armed Forces Committee, who had scheduled appearances from general who had to fly in from Hawaii and Korea to give testimony. It could be a cool thing if they set up a kegger or two of beer and partied, but the Party of No won't allow any fun. No wonder why they wander off to partake in kink and extra-marital affairs...

I guess I'm feeling lazy today, what with the snow outside and nothing much in the paper. I find it ironic that the largest purveyor of freedom of information, a cornerstone of what we tout as democracy, is being demonstrated by Google, not the State Department. The decision to retreat to Hong Kong was one that was agreed upon with the Chinese government, it gave Google a gradual way to leave the Chinese market, and let the Chinese government appear strong and then they could block Google's servers in Hong Kong as a demonstration of that strength. Saving face is another form of social sickness, which the Chinese excel at.

I don't know why any company thinks that they are going to make a fortune by setting up in China, the lure of over a billion untapped consumers is a carefully cultivated myth that the Chinese government created to lure poor suckers into a lucrative trap. They will steal your technology and then discard you while they get rich off of your knowhow, something they have done for centuries. If they get caught in the process of ripping you off, they will cheat, steal, and lie to discredit you, or put you in jail on trumped up charges if you are on their soil. This is one reason why so many people have fled China over the last 300 years, some forms of oppression never change.

Another irony is that lately Iran has been under criticism for jamming the airwaves, violating international business contracts that they have with various content providers and satellite owners. Yet an Iranian minister sits at the head of a UN committee that monitors and tries to prevent such actions. I guess when they want to conduct real business, they have to send him out for the mint tea...

Instead of the mean-spirited signs that appear at tea party rallies today, I miss the humor and inventiveness from the hippie and yippie movements. If you are going to portray anger, do it like Lynda Barry did with this iconic poster that stopped me in my tracks when I saw it in a store window in San Francisco on my way to Sam Wo's...

how about some late night jokes:

"A lot of upsets over the weekend. Kansas lost to Northern Iowa. Georgetown lost to Ohio. Republicans lost to the Democrats." –Jay Leno

"Well, as you know, health care reform was passed by the House last night. Supporters of the bill say the American people now get the same health benefits members of Congress get, which is great. See, if we can just get some of those other perks — the free travel, the envelopes with the cash in them, the get-out-of-jail-free cards — oh, all of that could be great." –Jay Leno

"You know, not a single Republican voted for the health care bill. They claim the U.S. government isn't qualified to be in the health care business. Hey, kept Dick Cheney alive the last 30 years. It's got to be worth something." –Jay Leno

"Do you know who's going to be in charge of health care? The IRS No, this is true. The IRS will be in charge of enforcing the new health care laws. You thought you hated getting audited by the government? Wait until they're in charge of your prostate exam, O.K.?" –Jay Leno

"And we're getting more details on what happened in the White House after the vote. In fact, the minute it passed, Joe Biden, he was speechless. So, right there, the bill is already paying dividends." –Jay Leno

"And before the vote, protesters on Capitol Hill heckled Nancy Pelosi. But she managed to keep a stiff upper lip, as well as a tightly stretched forehead, and an unnaturally arched eyebrow." –Jay Leno

"President Obama said last night this proves this is a government of the people, and by the people, except for the 55 percent of the people who opposed him." –Jay Leno

"See, and the nice thing is, if you lose your job, you know, you're still covered, which is great news for the Democrats in November." –Jay Leno

"And Defense Secretary Robert Gates announced, for the first time in the Navy's history, women will be allowed to serve on submarines. See, the problem before was they didn't want men and women spending time together in such unbelievably cramped quarters. And then they realized, 'Wait a minute, it's no different than flying Southwest.'" –Jay Leno

"According to a new Gallup poll, Congress's approval rating is at an all-time low, 16 percent. Only 16 percent of Americans think Congress is doing a good job. The other 84 percent didn't get any bailout money." –Jay Leno

"And the famous jeweler, Tiffany & Company, announced their fourth-quarter profits were quadruple what they were this time last year. Experts say it's either a sign the economy is improving or more guys are getting caught cheating." –Jay Leno

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