Why I Am So Grumpy

Kathleen Parker

I'm taking the day off, so I thought I'd talk up the links I have on my blog, and rant a little. I never intended to write a daily blog, just fell into it by mistake. I had to find something to do after I was fired from the library. It was an embarrassing incident, I mean being fired from such a safe, milk-toast kind of job, but I will only say that I believe that my former boss changed her mind towards me after I told her about being arrested and put in jail... Suddenly I could no longer be trusted and I was the only employee who was let go for such a minor infraction, but then I'd have to tell you everything that happened and tell you her name and trash the progressive reputations of the people who run the library system and we'd get into a lot of bad mouthing back and forth and I still use the library about twice a week... Anyway, I had made this blog and suddenly had all of this time on my hands, being a disabled retiree from yet another job...

The first things I do in the morning is take a couple of grandchildren to school. Then, I make coffee and read the newspapers, Denver Post and Colorado Springs Gazette. The coffee is freshly ground beans from either Serrano's or High Rise, the two best coffee roasters in town. Life is too short to drink bad coffee or smoke cheap cigars... When I fire up the computer I go to the sites for the New York times and Washington Post first, try and take stock of what I want to comment on in this blog. Today, I played hookey and watched the college basketball games, glad that I didn't make any bets because all of my teams lost.

I try to use all of the websites I have linked to. If you like to watch Keith Olberman and Rachel Maddow, go to Politico, Talking Points Memo, and the Political Animal; stories there usually show up later on their shows. If you like Rush Limbaugh, go to World Net Daily, which I don't have, and the Drudge Report. When I want different views on what is happening in the Middle East, I will go to a bunch of websites including the Jerusalem Post, Sydney Times, Al Jazeerah, Arabic News, Pakistani News, Far Eastern Economic News, and some sites in Japan. I haven't really found any good Russian sites, but I am still looking. The blogs are all ones that I think are interesting, and I'm always looking for new ones. If you have any you'd like to suggest, just send me a comment at the end of any posting and I will be sure to get it. If you are interested in weapons and new technology, try Wired's Danger Room for some stories that read more like science fiction than reality. In honor, here's my new bumper sticker:

Welcome to the Brave New World Order

I try to be critical of both the Democrats and Republicans, but because I'm a registered Republican, I tend to be more critical of them, especially when they do the old style politicking. There seems to be more silly behavior passed off as intelligence on the GOP side right now. It was no surprise that Dick Wadhams got re-elected as head of the state Republican Party, but it also means that we will have more dirty tricks and scurrilous attacks during future campaigns instead of taking a more open and honest approach.

I like Barack Obama. He is instituting changes in how the government does business, pretty much how I would do it, except I would be more radical. Change the banking system and Wall Street to be a lot more responsible with our money. Send a lot more people to jail for white collar crimes, and try to clean up Congress, outlaw lobbying...I think even judges should have term limits, and every judge must spend one week per year in jail to see what it's like. We pass too many laws, so much so that it has all become a labyrinthian mess. All laws should have an expiration date of either 15 or 20 years. That way, if a law proves to be a good one, it can be renewed, if its a bad one, we discard it. All persons wishing to become an elected representative must pass a competency exam, no more Dan Quayle's or Bob Beauprez's...

I believe that you can be a Conservative without being a right wing wacko. I am disturbed by extremism, feel that much of the interpretations of traditional beliefs have been twisted into a strange dogma that leaves no room for debate or introspection. Extreme belief is a form of mental illness, and so many of the mass murderers lately have been from the far right of the political spectrum. Far right politics and male rage is not a good mix...


Here are some late night Obama jokes:

"We are very excited to have President Barack Obama on the show tonight. People think it's amazing that the President would take the time to leave Washington, DC, and fly 3,000 miles to come to California. But that happens to a lot of guys when their mother-in-law moves in with them." --Jay Leno

"No wonder Obama has gray hair. That was the big story in the paper yesterday, Obama has gray hair. Wow, now his hair isn't black enough." --Bill Maher

"Republicans are attacking Barack Obama because he now wants to negotiate directly with the Taliban. Obama responded, 'Hey, right now I'd rather deal with the Taliban than with Republicans.'" --Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama got some good news today. It seems so many of his cabinet appointees have been forced to pay their back taxes, he now gets a finder's fee from the IRS." --Jay Leno

"Here's some good news. Barack Obama announced he's bringing home troops from Iraq. That's right. Unfortunately, he couldn't get them direct flights home. They have a two-year layover in Afghanistan." --Jimmy Fallon

"During his trip to Ottawa, Canada, President Obama said he was too embarrassed to admit to the Canadians that he'd never actually seen a hockey game. To which the Canadians said, "Oh, don't worry, we've never seen a black guy." --Jay Leno

"How many watched the Obama speech on Tuesday night? If you didn't see it, I'll give you the short version. We're completely broke, and deeply in debt, but we're going to do a bank rescue, universal healthcare, give everybody a college education, have a bigger war in Afghanistan, cut the deficit in half, and cure cancer. We were this close to universal blow jobs." --Bill Maher

"President Obama gave his first State of the Union address to a joint session of Congress tonight. Obama focused on the three most critical things he wants Americans to understand: first, that the economy is in a lot of trouble; second, that the road to recovery won't be easy; and third, that it's all President Bush's fault." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Well, Obama's had quite an opening. Been a month in office -- he signed the stimulus bill, he closed Guantanamo Bay, ordered the planning of our withdrawing from Iraq -- it's like he's spraying the country with a giant can of 'Bush Be-Gone.'" --Bill Maher

"I saw an article last week that said, 'Is Obama's Presidency already a failure?' ... I think everybody should just calm down. Give Obama four years. See what he can do. Then if he's a miserable failure, we'll do what we did with George W. Bush and elect him to a second term." --Craig Ferguson

"How about President Barack Obama's first primetime press conference last night? He was cogent, eloquent, and in complete command of the issues. I'm thinking to myself, what the hell am I supposed to do with that?" --David Letterman

"I tell you, the economy is in bad shape. In fact, the economy is so bad, President Barack Obama's new slogan is 'Spare Change You Can Believe In.'" --Jay Leno

"President Obama has asked the Senate to cut $50 billion from the economic stimulus plan. Yeah, Obama says the government will no longer need the $50 billion once everyone in his Cabinet pays their back taxes." --Conan O'Brien

"President Obama still has not gotten used to the White House, apparently. This is true. Today, on his way into the Oval Office, he tried to mistakenly open a window that he thought was a door. That's true. Yeah. White House employees said at first it made them laugh, then a wave of nostalgia washed over them." --Conan O'Brien

"There was a stumbling during the reading of the oath, when the chief justice of the Supreme Court, John Roberts, forgot the words for a second and then he got them in the wrong order. See, how typical is that? Barack, just a second before he takes over, the Republicans get one last screw up in there." --Jay Leno

"After going to ten inaugural balls last night and dancing more than Cloris Leachman in nine weeks of 'Dancing With the Stars,' the new president was up and in the office at 8:35 in the morning and then he was at church at 9:30. Is it a good sign that after one hour of being president, he decided the best thing he could do for the country is pray?" --Jimmy Kimmel

"And during his inaugural address yesterday, President Barack Obama said, 'Millions of Americans have lost their homes and some of us who still have homes have their mother-in-laws moving in with them.'" --Jay Leno

"This morning, Barack Obama entered the Oval Office for the first time as president and he spent ten minutes alone. Yep. Shows you how things have changed. When President Bush spent ten minutes alone in the Oval Office, it was called a time-out." --Conan O'Brien