Who Will Be the Next Newt?, Barbecuing Karl Rove

Timothy Egan
John Boehner
E J Dionne
Dana Millbank

"The point that I've been trying to make which is if you go back and listen to that [CNN] exchange, there was no attack [from me] on Rush. I was saying that there are people out there who actually want to demonize and use him as a boogie man, but also say that what he is saying is ugly and divisive." - Michael Steele

And here's Steele over the weekend on CNN:

"Rush Limbaugh is an entertainer. Rush Limbaugh, his whole thing is entertainment. Yes, it's incendiary. Yes, it's ugly." - Michael Steele

Here's a piece from Time magazine's Swampland, on the Democrats looking for a villain to pit against their hero Obama: "Every great hero needs a nemesis to overcome – look at how engrossed the nation became with Barack Obama's epic struggle for the Democratic nomination with Hillary Clinton. In their search for an opponent after the defeat of John McCain, Democrats and the media have alternately tried to promote Rush Limbaugh, Eric Cantor, Sarah Palin and the clearly not ready for prime time Bobby Jindal (not to mention the b-list: Romney, Pawlenty, Sanford and Crist). For those you laboring under the misapprehension that the Obama White House has spent all of 20 minutes talking about Rush this week, as early as January Obama had Limbaugh in his sights. It has always behooved the Dems to promote Limbaugh as he can be relied upon to say something outrageous and gin up the Dem base.
But with no next generation Newt Gingrich on the horizon, the GOP has settled into a caretakership – with Minority Leaders Mitch McConnell and John Boehner steering opposition to Obama's agenda and looking to gain at the edges, testing new messages and strategies in local and congressional races. This hullabaloo over whether Democratic strategists -- and, gasp, not the pristine White House! -- have been looking for straw men to slay is ridiculous; it would only surprising if they weren't looking for a foil for Obama. As the GOP tries to reorganize itself in the wake of stunning losses on both ends of Pennsylvania Avenue, the lack of a figurehead is perhaps the silver lining of the party's leadership vacuum: there is no clear opponent, no one to take responsibility and no one for Obama to defeat."

Speaking of demons and demonizing, Karl Rove and Harriet Miers have been successfully subpoenaed and will appear before Congress to testify on their involvement with firing of Federal prosecutors. Salon has this quick take-out on the matter: "Rove also -- and in this he's not really wrong -- sees this as a somewhat personal thing against him by Democrats. Speaking of two other former Bush aides who've been subpoenaed, Harriet Miers and Josh Bolten, Rove said, "I understand they may be the hors d'oeuvres, but I'm the main course. Some Democrats would love to have me barbecued."

I don't know about you all, but personally, I imagine Rove -- even if coated in a nice dry rub and cooked over a low fire for seven or eight hours -- would be stringy and tough. I'd much prefer a plate of Eastern North Carolina style barbecue pork from, say, Parker's. Hush puppies, slaw and sweet tea on the side, natch."

Damn it, now I'm hungry.

Lately there have been on-air meltdowns by reporters and economic personalities, vehemently saying that this economic crisis is all Barack Obama's fault. It makes entertaining watching and you never know on what show the next rant will come from. Luckily, it's all caught on video and we can watch it afterwards on YouTube. I guess this means I'm going to have to start posting these viral videos on my blog because the power of the written word is just not enough. Again, Salon has an analysis: "The argument that Obama is somehow responsible for the collapse of Wall Street is absurd. First, every major policy that led to this collapse occurred under George W.'s watch (or, more accurately, his failure to watch). The housing and financial bubbles were created under Bush and exploded under Bush. The stock market began to collapse under Bush.

Second, it's inevitable that stocks, led by the bloated financial sector, would lose their remaining hot air as the new administration begins "stress-testing" the big banks, many of which are technically insolvent. After all, their share prices were built on a tissue of lies and dreams. Other sectors whose values were similarly distorted and distended by years of financial deception and regulatory disregard, such as housing and insurance, will also have to return to the real world before they can recover. Which could mean more stock losses.

Finally, none of the financial wizards who are now charging Obama with leading America into the abyss have offered an alternative plan for getting us out of the mess that, not incidentally, many of these same wizards happily led us into. For years, the Wall Street Journal editorial page and the financial gurus of cable news cheered as Wall Street leveraged its way into oblivion."

I love the Southern states, all that heat and humidity must do something to the synapses in the brain, because some very wacky characters arrive on the national scene speaking that famous drawl. For example, David Gibbs III, a lawyer who in 2005 fought to keep brain-damaged Terri Schiavo on life support, told rally participants gay marriage would "open the door to unusual marriage in North Carolina. "Why not polygamy, or three or four spouses?" Gibbs asked. "Maybe people will want to marry their pets or robots." Mmmmm...slumdog robot love!

Wow, a lot of late night jokes, ask.com is catching up from last week:

"Here's some good news. Barack Obama announced he's bringing home troops from Iraq. That's right. Unfortunately, he couldn't get them direct flights home. They have a two-year layover in Afghanistan." --Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama sent a secret letter to Russia's president last month. In it, he promised that the U.S. would back off deploying a missile defense system if Moscow would stop Iran from developing nuclear weapons. The Russian president immediately fired back a response, saying, 'I don't understand English.'" --Jimmy Fallon

"Finally, Meghan McCain, John McCain's daughter, said she's tired of constantly dating guys who are obsessed with how great her father is. Fortunately for her, she already dated all three of them." --Jimmy Fallon

"Nice to see you all here. You're so lucky you live in California, because there was a huge snowstorm in Washington, D.C. In fact, they are calling it the city's biggest snow job since that stimulus package." -Jay Leno

"Talk about the age we live in. I saw this today. They unveiled a totally new method of snow removal. Did you hear about this? What they do, is they put A.I.G. in charge of it and the snow just disappears." -Jay Leno

"A.I.G. announced it lost $61.7 billion in the last quarter. What did we give them, $165 billion in that bailout thing? And they still lost $61.7 billion, which is the biggest loss by any company in U.S. history. To put it into perspective, A.I.G. lost more in December and January than pro basketball's L.A. Clippers.
And Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is offering a pledge of $900 million to the Palestinians in Gaza. Let's hope they don't spend it all on rocks this time." -Jay Leno

"See, apparently, we ran out of banks in this country to bail out. So now we're bailing out the West Bank as well." -Jay Leno

"No. This is what they said. The U.S. government guaranteed the $900 million will go directly to the people. All the money will go directly to the people. Why can't we get that deal in this country? Why does it go to the banks?" -Jay Leno

"Actually, there were some optimistic words today from the Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke, who told Congress the recession might end this year. Unfortunately, Bernanke also said pro football's Detroit Lions could win the super Bowl and Paris Hilton could get an Oscar. So I don't know. He's a little out of there." -Jay Leno

"I tell you, the economy is not good. Not good at all. Oh, it's bad. In fact, on '24,' Jack Bauer tortured himself for not selling his stock last August.
The economy is so bad, I saw Bill Maher in church praying, and later, I saw Warren Buffett buying lottery tickets." -Jay Leno

"And Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal gave the Republican response to President Obama's recent speech to Congress. But Jindal did not get good reviews. I don't know if you saw it. I don't want to say Jindal seemed awkward and off message, but his Secret Service code name is now Joe Biden." -Jay Leno

"And Mayor Richard Daley said that by the year 2016, there will be a surveillance camera on every street corner in Chicago. Yeah. You know, how about putting a camera on every politician in Chicago?" -Jay Leno

"Hey, some good news. The Obamas are getting a dog. Yes. The Obamas say they're going to go with a Portuguese water dog. Doesn't that sound like some kind of lame drink a guy would order to impress a woman? 'Bartender, for the lady, white wine, and for me, a Portuguese water dog.'" -Jay Leno

"Well, how much is Rush Limbaugh loving all his recent publicity? He is everywhere now, since he said he wanted Obama's policies to fail. This is the greatest thing to happen to Limbaugh since they started making that center-cut bacon." -Jay Leno

"California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's going to appear in the new Sylvester Stallone movie. Schwarzenegger wants the world to know he can still act, but I think he proved that when he said, 'I won't raise taxes.'" -Jay Leno

"According to a new study by a Harvard Business School professor, when it comes to online pornography, 8 of the top 10 porn-consuming states voted Republican in 2008. Republicans watch more pornography than Democrats. So, apparently, while they were voting for McCain, they were fantasizing about Sarah Palin." --Jay Leno