Iran's Nuclear Waste, Genocidal Hate Class Embarrasses Pentagon

"In an effort to curtail health costs, the Food and Drug Administration is now considering allowing the purchase of drugs without a prescription. You know what that means? One day Americans could actually be able to buy marijuana without ever seeing a doctor." – Jay Leno

"Police in Fort Wayne, Indiana, arrested a man for allegedly driving three blocks with four young children strapped to the hood of his car. Good to see Mitt Romney spending some time with the family, huh?" – Jay Leno

"France has a new president. He is Socialist François Hollande. He defeated Conservative French President Sarkozy in a presidential run-off yesterday. Of course, Nicolas Sarkozy handed over power in the traditional French manner. He surrendered." – Jay Leno

Intelligence analysts are saying that a picture, taken by a satellite, shows water leaking from a building in the middle of the desert. The building is part of a nuclear development site that the Iranian government won't let the inspectors in to inspect. The water has been construed to mean that either they finally have gotten around to Spring cleaning, or that the building has been used for bomb testing, and the water was used to clean it up in order for future inspections by the inspectors... Whether you believe Iran's stated nuclear intentions or not, one glaring question looms: why does Iran play games and not allow full inspections? A lot of it is ego, Iran wants respect from the major players in the world, and wants to be treated equally. Fat chance of that happening with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in charge, and his recent local political setbacks show that the rest of the government is beginning to see that, also. A lot of it is that the anti-Iranian policies are led by Saudi Arabia, which is a Sunni majority, and Israel. The Saudis see the rise of Iran as a religious uprising that could lead to civil war across all South Asia and the Middle East, and strive to keep them in their place.

 Following is the picture causing the controversy, find your own reason for the black stuff leaking out of the side of the building, which is water. Personally, I like that they are merely keeping their official cactus garden hydrated... The picture was printed sideways:

Dissing the military is always a difficult thing to do, for many young people its a decent career choice. The main problem is that we get men and women at the age of 18, when they are still in puberty and without any life experience. In a war situation, they are thrown into an unfamiliar country and live in danger during their entire time there, often having to kill another person or watch others being killed, an experience that haunts them the rest of their lives...

In the middle of preparing to go to Afghanistan, and earlier Iraq, many young officers got to take a class on how to eliminate all 1.4 billion Muslims as a last resort. It was taught, from 2004 up until last month by Army Lt. Col. Matthew A. Dooley, and this week the top Pentagon Generals were so publicly embarrassed that they were forced to shut down the class and put Mr Dooley under investigation for spreading hate crimes. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink... This from Wired's Danger Room, which broke the story and published some of the class presentations: "The chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff recently ordered the entire U.S. military to scour its training material to make sure it doesn’t contain similarly hateful material, a process that is still ongoing. But the officer who delivered the lectures, Army Lt. Col. Matthew A. Dooley, still maintains his position at the Norfolk, Virginia college, pending an investigation. The commanders, lieutenant colonels, captains and colonels who sat in Dooley’s classroom, listening to the inflammatory material week after week, have now moved into higher-level assignments throughout the U.S. military.


For the better part of the last decade, a small cabal of self-anointed counterterrorism experts has been working its way through the U.S. military, intelligence and law enforcement communities, trying to convince whoever it could that America’s real terrorist enemy wasn’t al-Qaida — but the Islamic faith itself. In his course, Dooley brought in these anti-Muslim demagogues as guest lecturers. And he took their argument to its final, ugly conclusion.


“We have now come to understand that there is no such thing as ‘moderate Islam,’” Dooley noted in a July 2011 presentation (.pdf), which concluded with a suggested manifesto to America’s enemies. “It is therefore time for the United States to make our true intentions clear. This barbaric ideology will no longer be tolerated. Islam must change or we will facilitate its self-destruction.”


Already, conservative Congressmen are moving to allow Mr Dooley's class to be reinstalled, and probably give him a promotion... I'm sure there are similar types of classes being taught on eliminating all Christians and non-believers in the Middle East, perhaps in Saudi Arabia by some Wahabi's or anywhere else from Afghanistan to Somalia by your nearest al Qaeda franchise...

France's Socialist Sweetheart, Them Putin Girls

Paul Krugman

"President Obama hosts an early Cinco de Mayo White House party today. I thought it was weird when he made all the guests climb over the fence to get in." – Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama has come up with a new campaign slogan — 'Forward' — that's the slogan. And believe me, if unemployment doesn't improve by November, it'll be 'Forward my mail.'" – Jay Leno

"German authorities report they have discovered digital files hidden in a porn movie that outline Al Qaeda's plans for more terrorist attacks. I believe this is the first time that a porn film has ever contained a plot." – Jay Leno

I had my most recent post already written, the photos added, all that left was to publish it to my blog, when I fell asleep last night with the laptop in my lap. everything was frozen this morning, and I had to take out the battery in order to reset the computer, losing everything I had written. I had hoped to watch the full Supermoon last night, but it ended up cloudy and raining here, so I ended up trolling for pictures on the Internet... and then I fell asleep...

Many of the policies that our conservatives favor have been put in practice in Europe, first. Including the favorite economic bugaboo that austerity measures are what is needed to make the economy grow, a major plank of the Paul Ryan budget, and what conservatives have been whining over since 2008. The European austerity program was put in place by Germany's Angela Merkel and France's Nicolas Sarkozy, and then rammed down the Greek's government as the only way to save them.

Over the weekend, Greece and France had elections. The two parties that had been in power for the last 40 years could,'t muster a majority, leaving the country in flux as to what will happen next. More people ended up voting for fringe parties, both to the Left and to the Right, one with the bizarre name of Golden Dawn and the propensity of bearing torches to meetings in the night... If some kind of coalition government can't be formed within the next three days, then the whole process will begin again...

Of course, by now we all have heard that Nicolas Sarkozy lost to a more moderate candidate, someone who has been branded as having more civility, patience, and genuinely seems to care about building a fairer government. Yes, they elected a Socialist... Francios Hollande is thought to be less of a fanatic and might bring a level head to the argument. He also vows to bring French soldiers back from Afghanistan by the end of the year, and pundits feel that he won't be following in the footsteps of the US and Israel in their policies towards Iran. Who knows, since France has the largest amount of nuclear reactors generating electricity in Europe, they might have a new business client in Iran, if they can only get the mafia to stop illegal dumping of nuclear wastes... Conservatives fear that this may spark a trend that would ultimately replace Merkel in Germany and what's his name in Britain...

Funny how conservatives in the US try to make the word Socialism into a bad word, as if Socialists and the godless Communists were interchangeable in thought and deed. It's the old Cold War mentality, having an us versus them, with no other way, and the loser is evil by default. It's how we have been taught at school for over 60 years and too many folks of my generation can't seem to break themselves of this archaic way of thinking. Hence, by labeling Barack Obama as a Socialist, he is a bad man, with evil thoughts and has to be vanquished. In Europe, Socialists have been part of an actual political movement that responds to events in the real world, and are more accepted. I hope that the world will give Mr Hollande a fair shake, at least until the first sex scandal is uncovered...

Speaking of the godless Communists, the next best thing, Vladimir Putin, was inaugurated. His spontaneous, celebratory crowd of 30,000 were bussed into Moscow to counter-react against the planned protest of 20,000 opposition members. If you're thinking that no good would come from this, you might be right. The two groups didn't clash with each other, their permits directed them to different places. Which left the police to free to attack and arrest over 400 at the opposition rally... Putin is getting more paranoid, and can be heard muttering to himself that it's all the fault of the US. Who knows, it could be true, the CIA could be after him. Next thing you know, he'll have nightmares of nocturnal visits from Seal Team 6, payback for all of the journalists he's had assassinated and political opponents rotting in some jail cell...

Of course, if Mr Putin wishes to appear in a kinder light, he is going to need the help of more than a few fake pictures of him in nature. Luckily, all he has to do is set up an interview with People magazine or a video with Entertainment Tonight with his two daughters. Or use stand-ins, since no-one really knows what they look like. He has erected an iron curtain over his family, the only photos for sure of his daughters were taken when they were little. I include one photo of them as teenagers here to the right, but, really, they could just be a couple of citizens, admiring the half-naked premier, for all we know... Anyway, Vlad could use some humanizing and his daughters could provide the stories. If done tastefully, they could tone down the constant complaining about how inhumane he is. After all, even Vlad the Impaler loved his children... OK, I made that up...

It's said that one of the reasons they have been kept out of the spotlight is because he and his wife have been estranged for years. It would explain the girlfriends he's been photo'd with. He pretty much ignores his wife whenever they have t be seen in public. One bad joke shows a picture of Putin and his wife, with the caption reading: "So, see you again in six more years?"

Osama's Anniversary, Babies On Drugs

"I was making jokes about the Secret Service while they were 10 feet away from me with machine guns in their hands. President Obama made jokes about them and he didn't get much of a reaction either. They're probably laughing on the inside." – Jimmy Kimmel

"Strange development in the Secret Service prostitution saga. They issued new rules of conduct on Friday, and on some trips they will send chaperones to make sure the rules are enforced. Am I nuts, or is this weird? We have to give the Secret Service chaperones to make sure they don't get drunk and have sex?" – Jimmy Kimmel

"We should make the agents travel with their moms. They would be highly trained themselves and will be ready to throw their bodies on any agent who is about to throw his body on a prostitute." – Jimmy Kimmel

Yesterday marked the one year anniversary that Seal Team 6 invaded Osama bin Laden's compound and killed him, then took the body away with them. Since then, Barack Obama has been pretty cocky, using it in an ad, as one of the reasons for his re-election. Of course, his opponents say that it is tacky and bad form to go around crowing, that type of behavior should be beneath the office of the president. To which The Daily Show's John Stewart replies: "So let me get this straight. Republicans, you're annoyed by the arrogance and braggadocio of a wartime President's political ad. You think he's divisively and unfairly belittling his opponents, I see. I have a question: ARE YOU ON CRACK??? Were you alive, lo, these past ten years? It seems unseemly for the President to spike the football. Bush landed on a fucking aircraft carrier with a football-stuffed codpiece; he spiked the football before the game had even started!"


And, for all of you al Qaeda enthusiasts, you can celebrate with more than the official memorial turban. Now you can also collect the letters that bin Laden had on him when he died, soon to be released in a special boxed set by the Combatting Terrorism Center at West Point. Proving that Wikileaks is really a good service, they released 175 pages of letters online, and there is much more information to follow, if they get enough subscriptions... Lovers of trivia and those who think that letters between writers are important will thrill to know the petty problems Osama had with his organization, from laundering money into Euros or dollars because they are the only stable currencies, to thinking of changing the al Qaeda franchise. I guess he didn't like my idea of making infomercials and selling off franchises as "jihads in a box..."

The country of Pakistan is adding to the celebration, by deporting the rest of Osama's family. They may stop by Iran and pick up another old wife and children, who had been living as guests of the state for the past six years or so. Now, the bin Laden family back in Saudi Arabia will have to take care of them, good thing they are all millionaires. Except for the one wife that will get sent back to Yemen, who's only goal in life was to marry a jihadi warrior... Oh, I can smell a few good memoirs coming out of this exodus... Of course, if they were all grown sons and brothers of bin Laden, Pakistan would have let them stay, or at least shipped them back to Afghanistan. Instead, his wives will be sentenced to the horrors of the mansion of Riyadh and the indoor ski slopes of Dubai, those poor, wretched creatures...

While I'm still on the subject of the Middle East, one sad fact caught my eye in this morning's NY Times: that in Palestine, just about every family has had someone who was incarcerated. Just think of how much energy and effort has gone into agitating for a separate Palestinian state, and the cost to each and every family. Israel could sit down and hammer out a solution in one weekend if it really wanted to. First, they need to change their government and get rid of Benjamin Netanyahu, who has said in a speech to the Knesset, that a peace will never be negotiated while he was in office...

Yesterday I posted about Pfizer losing its patent to Lipitor. The problems are much worse in the US. We have a rising number of babies being born addicted to drugs, both street drugs and prescription drugs. We also have a rising rate in children being born autistic, and they don't have a clue as to the reason why. Almost every water source that feeds our major cities are contaminated by traces of prescription drugs, and we have a rising rate of suicide among teenagers, returning veterans, and senior citizens.

We cannot legislate our way out of this problem, and it may take a radical way to rethink and practice health care, from the cradle to the grave. But the dialogue is being sidetracked over bs arguments about Obamacare. The more your attention is caught up in bogus attacks on contraception and what makes a person, you don't have time to get mad over the deformities that the drugs we are giving pregnant women are causing. Just give granny something that will put her to sleep at night, because you are too tired to care for her. Besides, its all some Liberal Socialist plot and has nothing to do with the greed for the billions of dollars that drugs like Lipitor and Plavix make for their makers, now that the money to be made will be by the generic manufacturers in China and Turkey...

Rupert's Bad Acting, Pfizer Loses Lipitor Patent

"Mitt Romney gets a lot of criticism because he's kind of stiff, he's sort of cold, he's sort of aloof. And I thought, 'Well, wait a minute. Let's look at the bright side of this.' Mitt Romney is an inspiration to kids all over this country who sadly were born without a personality." – David Letterman

"Now allegations are coming out that the Secret Service were partying with strippers and hookers, not just in Colombia but in El Salvador, Buenos Aires, Moscow. You got to hand it to these guys. A lot of us look at the world and say, 'F**k it.' These people actually do it." – Bill Maher

"Newt Gingrich says he's going to make an announcement on Tuesday that he's suspending his presidential campaign. Yes, he's letting us down gently. And also because technicians are still working on Callista to install her sad face." – Bill Maher

The headline news this morning was that Rupert Murdoch's plan backfired on him, and it may end up costing him billions more and not be allowed to do business with the British government anymore. The report came out from the investigation and inquiry of parliament about Murdoch's role in the phone hacking of a young girl who had been kidnapped, and the further hacking of cell phones of celebrities and politicians to get leads for juicy stories for his newspapers.

Rupert's lame plan, when he had to appear before parliament for questioning, was to portray himself as a clueless old man, perhaps sinking into Alzheimer's, which let him claim to not remember very much and to blame lesser executives who sought to keep any knowledge of wrong-doing from coming to his attention. None of the unfortunate events was his fault! And to show how concerned he was, as soon as this sordid mess came to the public's attention, he shut down the News of the World, and canceled his $12 billion bid to purchase the rest of the television station BSkyB, and demoted his lying son, James, who has been forced to withdraw from working in Britain.

But Rupert's exercise in street theater has resulted in a report saying that he is not fit to lead a major corporation, which will give fuel for other investigations and lawsuits against him. If he loses his contracts with the TV station, it means a loss of billions of dollars in revenue, and possibly having his removal by his board of directors. Rupert has estranged friends and family, so its looking like this man will soon die, bitter and alone.

Speaking of losing billions of dollars, the patent is ending for Lipitor, the drug used for heart disease and stroke, and they haven't developed anything to replace it. Throughout the pharmaceutical industry, nineteen patents will end this year, resulting in a possible losses of $38 billion annually... Good news for the rest of us who use those drugs, for now they can be made as generics, and your monthly dose may be reduced from $150 down to $15. Unfortunately for me, the expensive non-generic drugs I take have about 15 more years left on their patents, so I still have to fork out the bucks each month, but millions of senior citizens may be able to afford to go out for breakfast an extra one or two times and enjoy that special quality of life that is popularized in myth and movies...



Our old police chief, who had been especially hired away from his old job in Michigan to live and work in beautiful Colorado Springs, only to be fired by our mayor, has been hired by the city of Sanford, Florida. He will be the interim chief of police until the Trayvon Martin case has been resolved, then the city will decide whether to keep him on, or let the guy who had to step down have his job back.

Mr Myers had had some problems with his officers, you know, the regular kind like police brutality, possessing child pornography, and attempting to meet kids through the Internet. The only thing that was missing was using a patrol car as a moving meth lab... When my nephew was working as a paramedic here in town, he told me that on several occasions he had to transport the sherif's wife to the methadone clinic. We wondered if one of the reasons that the sherif took the job here was to be closer to the drug-smuggling super-highway... Now that he;s moving to Sanford, he'll be even closer...

From Cartagena To Colorado Springs

"One of the agents involved in the scandal was on Sarah Palin's detail in 2008 when he was running for vice president. And he posted a picture on his Facebook – apparently he had a little crush on her – of him standing behind her kind of smirking and saying, 'I'm checking her out.' Which is more than you can say for the McCain campaign." – Bill Maher

"Of course Sarah Palin has to answer this. Today she said, you know what, people are always checking me out. She said, 'I can't count the number of times when I'm walking away, and I hear someone say, 'What an ass.'" – Bill Maher

"Newt Gingrich still receiving Secret Service protection. What are they protecting him from? Reality?" – Bill Maher

"I think Republicans live in a world now where whatever a liberal says, no matter how sensible, is automatically evil, wrong, and needs to be fought with the fervor of a starving raccoon on crystal meth." – Bill Maher

Tourism in Cartagena, Columbia, has taken a boost ever since the Secret Service scandal was revealed a couple of weeks ago, involving over a dozen horny, drunken young men and drunken prostitutes. Prostitution in Columbia is about the same as it is elsewhere, officially frowned upon, but in reality tolerated by those who love to party but are too old and ugly to get a second glance from a pretty girl. Articles now in the NY Times have emphasized that none of the girls were spies seeking to blackmail any of the agents, that the girls working in Cartagena are regularly tested for AIDS and STD's, with records being kept. Columbia has long been a destination for those in the porn industry, pandering to those who like latina pornography. I don't know if they have done so in the past, but I'll bet that soon there will be sex tours for German men and others from the former Eastern Block countries, just like they do for Thailand.

What we really need, if we are going to be honest, is reporting on the use of prostitutes by our Congressmen, both at home in Washington DC, and when they go on junkets to foreign countries. We know that they leave their wives and family at home and are wined and dined and bribed by foreign dignitaries, so why not be more honest and transparent about the use of hookers in politics? There are certain cities in the world that are infamous for their prostitution, Beirut, for example, has long been known as the party place to go among Arabian busnissmen and oil-wealthy sheiks, seeking refuge from the newly found feminism of their wives and daughters. Macau has become the place to party for those who enjoy gambling in Asia, even hosting the older brother of North Korea's new ruler. Miami, Dallas, and LA are destinations staying alive in the US... There are very few members of the Senate and House of Representatives who have not partied too hard in Washington DC, using liberal amounts of designer drugs, alcohol, and consorting with expensive ladies of the night. These habits should be disclosed, along with whatever prescription medicines they are taking, and the true sources of their campaign funds.

We should all be as transparent as the former head of the World Bank, Dominique Strauss-Kahn. Not only did he expect all of the maids at his expensive US hotel to be hookers, enough to be undressed when his maid came in to service his room, but he continued his wanton ways when he went back to France. Even though his rich wife stood by him, she couldn't ignore it when he was later arrested for being part of a sex ring, pimping out and sending friends to a classic, old hotel that needed to add the services of prostitutes in order to pay its bills.
Of course, politicians can overdo it, as in the case of Italy's Berlesconi, who now faces charges of having sex with underage hookers at his parties, and had to be divorced by his much embarrassed wife.

The freak side-show that was the Republican Primary race is coming to an end. The only joker left to challenge Mitt Romney is Ron Paul, who has kept a low profile the past couple of months, probably holed up writing some obscure Libertarian texts in time for the convention in Tampa. Or maybe he realized that most of the press that was given to Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich has been negative, focused on the many gaffes they regularly produced for the late night comedians. I'm sure that Mitt will continue to feed us with enough gaffes of his own, and we will be treated to weekly etch-a-sketch changes in beliefs and policies.

My fellow Coloradan Republicans have jumped on the squirrel train, having elected their delegates to the Republican convention this summer. Not one went to Mitt, they all went to Rick Santorum and Ron Paul, and they are proud about it. This happened several days after Rick Santorum dropped out of the race, which proves that the conservative cause is alive and well in Colorado, serving all lost causes.

 To get a glimpse of how we are aligned, one of the most conservative yes men in the House, Doug Lamborn, is being challenged by Robert Blaha, who is positioning himself to the far right of Doug. We should vote for Blaha to help him take back our country, go his ads. His campaign philosophy is : " An articulate champion for conservative values, Robert knows that citizens in his 5th Congressional District have had enough of career politicians, and so he’s bringing his business expertise and conservative common sense to secure a better future for our children and grandchildren.

It’s time to breakthrough the federal red tape, complacency and stagnant stalemates – and have our voices heard in Washington, D.C"

I'd love to watch these two debate, but Doug doesn't like to appear in public much, because, in my opinion, his speech patterns fit more closely to a gay dress designer than a family values man, and people might start asking embarrassing questions... But Blaha can't really attack Lamborn on much, so he can only make ads that show him as an angry man intent on tearing down the walls of government, so 90 seconds ago... In reality, the tea party here is having a hard time keeping the anger and meetings going, what with the over prescribing of anti-depressants to us older folks. We end up taking our Prozac and watching those redneck reality shows on tv, marveling that anyone would go out and deliberately hunt alligators and rattlesnakes. What about those giant catfish on River Monsters, whoa!!! It's difficult basing a movement on people who don't really read, and are ridiculed by their children for their beliefs. I'm seeing less and less right wing blogs out there, and they all weren't supported by Andrew Breitbart... In fact, there's just a lot less blogs being created and sustained, we may soon go the way of the dinosaur and encyclopedia.

"Military Intelligence" Still An Oxymoron

"President Obama is gearing up for his presidential campaign. He's creating a new series of ads. The first ad boasts "just last week my Secret Service created jobs for 11 Colombian women." – Conan O'Brien

 "Conservatives are now criticizing President Obama because as a child in Indonesia he sometimes ate dog meat. But on the plus side, Obama is now polling very well among cats." – Conan O'Brien

 "President Obama, in his memoir, talked about his childhood in Indonesia living with his stepfather. He said when he was 8 years old, his stepfather introduced him to a number of unusual meats, including dog. Our president ate dog. Not only that, according to the book, he also ate snake. And his mother was looking for tiger. He was eating through Noah's Ark." – Jimmy Kimmel

 "But the dog thing — maybe that is where the floppy ears come from." – Jimmy Kimmel

It was a quiet weekend, other than the bluster and whining coming from the old Axis of Evil countries: North Korea issuing dire warnings against South Korea and its policies, and to the world to please start taking them seriously...  Iran was whining this morning, complaining of another computer virus that made them take their oil refineries offline until they can contain the bug.  Myanmar really didn't have any announcements, other than inquiring if it has liberalized enough to unfreeze the old generals bank accounts... So far, the responses have been stifled laughter hidden behind a raised hand to our mouths, and a belated admission from Israel that it knew that Iran's president never said that it was Iran's duty to wipe Israel off the map. It was actually a mix-up in translation issued from the Iranian government, and Israel took the opportunity and ran with it...

A few days ago there was an article in the NY Times about the CIA wanting to use more drones in Yemen. This morning there is an article about what a hard time the new president of Yemen is having, what with all of the insurgents in the desert and old Saleh regime politicians and generals who tend to ignore his orders. Yemen is the new training center for military intelligence officers and CIA mercenaries, who are chomping at the bit to become legitimately recognized for the time they are putting into securing this country... But it looks like we may have to be multi-tasking again, as the head of Sudan is hell bent on warring with newly formed South Sudan, and plans to take over their oil fields soon.

Even though our political candidates keep talking about spending less, they really mean spending less in taking care of old people and educating children. No need to educate kids when all the learning they'll need they can get while volunteering in our military. Plus, you don't have to worry about your child turning Liberal, because the compassionate ones all end up getting killed in battle, somehow... Our military is blending with the intelligence services, soon you won't be able to tell them apart, except for the talking heads, who constantly snipe and snap at each other. The old director of the CIA, Leon Panetta, who came to love clandestine operations during his tenure, left to become Secretary of Defense, and today announced the creation of a new military intelligence unit, to join with the intelligence units of the army, navy, and marines. So, our new way to conduct warfare will come from using drones and units like Seal Team 6 for assassinations and abductions, using up over $750 billion per year.

The sniping is coming from directors of intelligence, both old and new, over whether we should continue to develop spy satellites, or contract out to private firms to get the information. most of that information has no use for cutting edge optics, which we use a fraction of the time to read vin numbers, or count the number of hairs on an ant's butt... We have gone about as far as we can go with the technology of spy satellites, and the jobs they do now can be handled a lot more cheaply by a drone, if not better. Optic resolution for map making can be bought from private companies, and we could concentrate on research and development on the purely spy stuff, since it came in so handy finding Osama bin Laden or bringing down the Berlin Wall...

So, there soon may not be much difference between our military, our intelligence agents, and the private mercenaries we hire, the line in-between becoming all blurred, all fueled by designer drugs and anti-depressants. And its a good indication that we will be withdrawing our troops in time from Afghanistan, before more than one lone soldier snaps like in Vietnam. In both cases we wore out our welcome a very long time ago. At least in Afghanistan we are trying to change our legacy by bribing them with a couple billion dollars for the next ten years. It'll buy a lot of luxury apartments in Dubai, that's for sure...

India Launches Missile, Russian Teens Have Nothing To Live For...

Steven Rosenfeld

"Did you hear how they caught those Secret Service agents with prostitutes in Colombia? Apparently the men were walking around wearing nothing but their sunglasses and those earpieces." – Conan O'Brien

"The Democrats accuse the Republicans of launching a war on women. Then the Republicans accuse the Democrats of the same thing. At this point, who can remember who enacted reproductive health restrictions in 36 states including mandatory transvaginal ultrasounds?" – Stephen Colbert

"If you feel about about so much money in this country going to defense, don't forget, if we didn't spend more money on weapons than every other country combined, then Iran could not put the bomb they don't have on the Koran rocket that doesn't work." – Bill Maher

"Now the North Koreans say they are going to test a nuclear weapon. To which I say please do. Talk about a problem taking care of itself." – Bill Maher

A little more than a week after the international bad guys, North Korea, tried to launch an intercontinental ballistic missile and failed, the country of India successfully launched and tested its Agni 5 missile. Now, a pissed off India has the capacity to send nuclear war-heads to the Chinese city of its choice, even though the two countries are good trading partners.... The missile is the latest example of the arms race that has been going on in the region for the last few years, and no matter what kind of false reasons the countries give, it shows these governments would rather let people starve to death than give up the latest toys...

India (and Israel) never signed the nuclear non-proliferation pact, and for the past 30 years their nuclear arsenal sat, growing cobwebs and lacking the latest digital upgrades. The UN Security Council even passed a specific resolution calling on India and Pakistan to cease developing missiles capable of delivering nuclear weapons. Which has been ignored...

The US has been behind India's recent arms buying spree, or at least has benefitted from selling them technology. India has a drone, whereas we refused to sell one to Pakistan. Whenever members of our State Dept visit India, or Indian officials visit the US, military generals also meet and greet. When the Indian Prime Minister came to Washington DC last year, as he was being feted by a dinner at the White House in his honor, he also came to see about buying newer nuclear technology from us. We weren't happy to sell it to them directly, so we sent them to a Canadian firm, who bought our technology and could sell it to India without violating the letter of the law. Because Pakistan has a paranoid view of India, they also have been trying to upgrade their nuclear arsenal, and the heating arms race may explain why Burma has been a bit more friendly to the West, befriending those with the largest amount of toys... Anyway, the US now has to coddle Indian diplomats, making sure they get enough rifles and food aid, or else they will sell their new ballistic missiles to another trading partner in the region, Iran. Not a bad form of blackmail, after all... Not to be outdone, South Korea announced that, they, too, have a new missile they are dying to try out...

As a global statistic, for every 100,000 people, about 1,700 Russians will commit suicide per year. The suicide rate of teenagers is growing in Russia, and they can't figure out the reason why. Of course, they aren't considering the prospects of living in a corrupt society where your best career moves are to work for the local Mafia or for Vladimir Putin. Russia also doesn't have any kind of medical support system set up for people undergoing psychological stress, and have recently quickly set up some hotlines and meeting places for teens to go. Of course, this band-aid is not working, and kids are still jumping off of apartment buildings at an alarming rate. The suicide rate is also going up in the US and Europe among teenagers, so perhaps the befuddled government health care workers can have a conference in Las Vegas to confront this growing problem...


Whenever my adopted hometown makes the national news, why does it always have to be embarrassing? I didn't find out until I watched the monologues on the Tonight Show and the Jimmy Fallon Show, that one of my local television stations had broadcast a hardcore porn movie in the place of the Today Show. At that time of the morning, evidently the only employees at the station are engineers, guys more interested in Debbie Does the Rocky Mountains than the cute shenanigans of national news personalities... Keep in mind that I live in the most conservative town in Colorado, and that my representative is Doug Lamborn... It's interesting to know that those cities and states that are considered to be the most conservative also rent out the most porn and have the most strip clubs, right Dallas?