Obama-Boehner In Celebrity Deathmatch, Let Israel Build Houses And PA Collects The Rent, Balloon Boy Rides Again

Kathleen Parker
Dana Milbank

"Hundreds of people in Washington, D.C. reported seeing a UFO today. Aliens, if you’re searching for intelligent life, you’ve got the wrong town." – Craig Ferguson

"President Obama is in India. You know what they say — go where the jobs are." – Jay Leno

"Obama’s in India for two days and Republicans are already accusing him of being a Hindu." – Jay Leno

OK, so Barack Obama and John Boehner don't get along. We can put them in the ring like a claymation death match, make a little money on the side that goes to paying off the national deficit, and put it on television on Sat night to boost ratings. A win/win/win situation, in my books. Don't let them out until one of them achieves political nirvana...


Already the Republicans are busy spending your tax dollars, coming up with ways that we can save money. This specific program would save us $25 million per year, if we hurried up and get rid of this unneeded emergence welfare program, as Jackie Calmes writes in the NY Times: "Of the few specific cuts that Congressional Republicans have proposed in their promised assault on annual budget deficits, one of the biggest by far would save $25 billion over 10 years, they claim, by ending an emergency welfare fund.


The Republican Study Committee, which includes more than 100 of the most conservative House Republicans, promoted the idea in a statement this week, saying, “With the national debt quickly approaching $14 trillion, Washington needs to get serious about cutting spending.” Well, seriously, the fund expired Sept. 30." Ohhhh, this does not bode well. I assume that these well educated people that make up the Republican Study Committee have been drinking the local, drug-infested tap water, and this is why their brains have turned to mush, enough to make such embarrassing statements in public. Really, they make Michael Steele look reasonable and intelligent...

Speaking of people that should go into a claymation death match is Israel's right wing Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. His government announced another construction project in East Jerusalem, and then one in the West Bank. Obama suggested that it wasn't constructive to having the peace process move forward. Netanyahu struck back that the Israeli government sees no link between building houses and the peace process. I think Hillary jumped in there somewhere, and now Benjamin is waiting for his backup from the even further right wing...

Mahmoud Abbas, of the Palestinian authority wants the UN Security Council to step in and make the Israelis stop being two-faced, and get things moving again. My idea might work out better. Let Israel build the houses, but let the PA get all profits from their sale, or collect the rents. Then, the construction of houses would stop, since Israel won't want to build as charity... One major reason why Israel is finding any excuse they can to grind negotiations to a halt, is because they will have to relocate at least 60,000 Jews who have settled in the Western Bank, and are considered squatters in the eyes of the international community...

Pentagon officials have looked at the contrail of the mysterious flying vehicle, and are now confident that it is just from an airplane. You know, an airplane that takes off from the middle of the ocean going straight up until about 1100 feet until squaring off... another theory is that it is a balloon, and wait, yes! There's a boy in that balloon! I don't know why the military has to consistently deny all extra-curricular activity whenever an anomaly occurs. Why not just man-up and say that this was a test that misfired, or that it is Sharron Angle's Second Amendment remedy taking a test run at Babylon...

Politico reports that: "... roughly half of the 80-plus Republican House freshmen — and a handful of the newly elected GOP senators — have promised to limit their congressional tenures, with some even promising support for new term limits legislation. The self-imposed limits typically range from six to 12 years..." Ah, starry-eyed, idealistic youth. We'll see what happens to them after their term is up, how they have changed their minds. The Supreme Court ruled in 1995 that states couldn't limit the terms of a federal official, so all term limits by members of Congress have to be done by themselves. Which explains why my House Representative decided to ignore his past promise and ran again for office...