New Wikileaks Coming Soon! Gambia Suspends All Relations With Iran, Oklahoma To Set Indians Free From All Treaties

Williams Cohan
Colbert King
Mark McKinnon

"Why do we tolerate the questionable morality and behavior that too many on Wall Street get rewarded to exhibit? Why do we put up with repeated Wall Street-generated financial calamities? Why do we seem to excuse one insider-trading and pay-for-play scandal after another? Why haven’t we woken up from our generational slumber and realized that we would be better off rewarding real engineers, not financial engineers?" - Williams Cohan

"A TSA worker gave me a pat-down and found another TSA worker's hand." – Jimmy Fallon

"TSA says they are going to crack down on the invasive pat-downs. In fact, one agent was transferred to another parish." – David Letterman

"Some of these airport patdowns are so thorough they say you only need one every 5 years. You can get the regular patdown, but if you want to upgrade you can get what they call the Full Spitzer." – David Letterman

David Letterman's "Top Ten Questions to Ask Yourself Before Becoming a TSA Agent"

10. "Do I need a degree in groping?"
9. "Am I only doing this for the sweet TSA uniform?"
8. "If I find explosive underpants, may I keep them?"
7. "Will I enjoy being cursed at 40 hours a week for minimum wage?"
6. "If I find explosive underpants, may I keep them?" That was No. 8. Who checks these things anyway?
5. "Should I practice by frisking people on the street?"
4. "In five years, whose pants do I see my hands in?"
3. "Do I really want to know what a fat guy's thighs feel like?"
2. "May I frisk myself?"
1. "What's the closest airport to Shakira's house?"

Have you read any of the recent wikileaks containing low-level military reports on our conduct in Iraq and Afghanistan? turns out there's more, another file that is even larger than the ones before, that contain reports by low-level state department workers and diplomats who make disparaging statements about the governments of our allies, as reported by the BBC: "The U.S. felt compelled to brief a number of foreign governments about the possible release of a large cache of diplomatic files by whistleblowing site WikiLeaks. The U.K., Turkey, Israel, Denmark, and Norway have been warned by the U.S. to expect possible embarrassment, since the release—which WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange claims will be seven times larger than the almost 400,000 Pentagon documents dealing with the Iraq War the site published in October—is said to include candid assessments of foreign governments by its officials. The release could do serious damage to the U.S., weakening trust in the country as a diplomatic partner. “When this confidence is betrayed and ends up on the front pages of newspapers or lead stories on television or radio, it has an impact,” said State department spokesman P.J. Crowley. Officials are, so far, unaware of when the documents will be released..." This should begin a world-wide snarkfest, get ready for a whole barrage of mean things to be said about the clueless and insensitive US in retaliation.

In response, the US intelligence has just unleashed its dreaded hooker crew to bait wikileaks owner into some more sexual liasons that they can slander him with, their ultimate goal is to make him unwelcome in every country he tries to set his organization up as headquarters, until he is doomed to cruise the oceans on a ship similar to the fate of H Ron Hubbard aboard the SeaOrg...

One of the smallest and poorest of African nations. Gambia, has asked all Iranian diplomats and businesspeople to leave its country, and severing all ties with Iran. Ouch! This happened after a cargo shipment of mortars and rocket-propelled grenades were found in Nigeria. A French firm had stopped in Iran to load up the munitions, then sailed into Nigeria for fuel, where the containers of weapons were found and determined to be headed for Gambia...

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has been having his share of problems at home, too. The Iranian Parliament came this close to impeaching the little guy, supposedly for not ending subsidies for gas and food to poor people, the muck-ups over the nuclear program, and general distrust most other countries now have towards Iran. Ahmadinejad's policies have been under attack since before he committed massive fraud during the last election, especially he is blamed for the price of groceries, which coupled with economic sanctions, has gone through the roof. It also turns out that the importing of 1500 tankers of gasoline every day from Kurdistan was not approved by any government agency, and if somebody were to set off a couple of roadside bombs along the only road leading into Iran, then those who had previously approved of selling bombs to Iraq and Afghanistan could turn on him. A situation like this could happen once the Korean aggression dies down...

In retaliation for the almost impeachment, which could still happen, the government has issued an arrest warrant for Mehdi Hashemi,  the son of Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani, the conservative cleric who seemed to most favor the Green movement while it was happening. Government sources gave no reason for the warrant, or for what the younger Hashemi was supposed to done, since he's been living in Britain for over a year now... There's only going to be so many times that Ahmadinejad's butt is going to be saved by the Supreme Ayatollah Khamenei. It's all too conceivable that Mahmoud's antics might give the old cleric a heart attack, which might make him think twice backing someone who supports funding a website in support of Nazis and Holocaust denial... Remember, that even if Ahmadinejad is replaced, Iran would not become a model of enlightenment and liberalism over night. Most of the opponents who ran against him are former conservative politicians who are equally hardline in many areas. Most of the young people who protested would be happy if they could play whatever music interests them and surf the Internet without getting arrested. Iran is only a couple steps away from being a decent society, if they could only not be as repressive towards their own citizens and give their children some hope for their futures, Iran could easily become a major player on the world stage.

TPM has an interesting aside to the state of Oklahoma banning sharia law, which has been stayed until a Federal judge can make a ruling on Nove 29. Because of some sloppy writing, the proposed law: "... would prohibit state courts from considering not only Sharia law, but international law -- defined as the law of other "countries, states and tribes."

Oops. If the law is upheld, where 70% of the state voted for it, it could affect all of the treaties we have signed with the Indians, maybe forcing them to be re-written: "It's possible the amendment could affect how disputes between Indians and non-Indians are settled in state courts, as well as the many historic treaties between tribes and the U.S. Last year, the Oklahoma Supreme Court ruled that personal injury lawsuits, filed by non-Indian casino patrons, could be tried in state court. It's still messy, though: Several tribes have entered arbitration with the state over the rulings, and some of their motions are still pending. And then there are the treaties between the state's tribes and the federal government. The ban specifically defines international treaties as a "source of international law." So how would the Indian treaties be treated?"

Of course, the good-old-boys in Oklahoma meant their law to apply to Muslim tribes and Muslim countries and states, not Indian treaties and casinos and such, right? Or did some sly cracker slip in this language to void the treaties and let the injuns run amok...? "Barbara Warner, the executive director of the Oklahoma Indian Affairs Commission, told the Norman Transcript she's heard concerns that the law could be "detrimental" to the tribes.


An Oklahoma University law professor, Taiawagi Helton, who specializes in tribal law, told the Transcript the language is too "ambiguous" and allows ways for the "opportunistic" to avoid tribal law that would hurt their case. But he added that he believes the law will be struck down.


"The likely effect is it won't have much effect at all," he said." Can I get an AMEN to that, brother...

Geronimo's Cadillac by Michael Martin Murphy

Well they put Geronimo in jail down south

Where he couldn't look the gift horse in the mouth

Sergeant, sergeant, don't you feel

There's something wrong with that automobile

Governor, governor, isn't it strange

They didn?t have no cars on the Indian range

Warden, warden, please listen to me

Be brave and set Geronimo free

Whoa boys, take me back

I want to ride in Geronimo's Cadillac

Whoa boys, take me back

I want to ride in Geronimo's Cadillac

D (electric guitar solo)

Let me ride, let me ride

Warden, warden, don't you know

Prisoners have no place to go

They took old Geronimo by storm

Ripped off the feathers from his uniform

Jesus tells me I believe its true

The red man is in the sunset too

Took all his land, now they won't give it back

And they sent Geronimo a Cadillac