Mail In The Next Two Years...

Bill Clinton
Dana Milbank
Joe Klein

"Welcome to where rumor undergoes a fact-change operation and becomes analysis." – Stephen Colbert

"John Boehner will be the new speaker unless, out of habit, he blocks his own confirmation." –Stephen Colbert

"John Boehner will be the new Speaker of the House. It is the highest elected office ever to be reached by an Orange-American." – Olivia Munn

John Boehner will now replace Nancy Pelosi as Speaker of the House. He might move his tanning bed into the office, but I don't think he'll share it with anyone. We'll know if Eric Cantor or other young Republicans suddenly turn up looking Orange... The reason that Ms Pelosi was so villified during the last two years is because she was the most effective Speaker of the House the Democrats ever had, and if you contrast her with the bumbling, hard drinking, overly emotional, one trick pony that is Mr Boehner, then the Republicans will be sadly lacking when it comes to inspiring and counting the troops. Which is where the younger men like Eric Cantor come in, to strategize and come up with legislation that will solve all of the problems that the previous batch of Republicans got us into.

Enter Rand Paul and Marco Rubio. I know there's a joke in there somewhere, like these two Republicans walk into a bar... if it was David Vitter I could make it into a prostitute joke and telling how he like to dress up in a diaper and be told what a bad boy he is... but with men like Mr Rubio, you may not get much support for his fellow legislators, as he said in his acceptance speech: We make a grave mistake if we believe that tonight these results are somehow an embrace of the Republican Party," And in the next few months we find out if this new freshman class will step up to the plate and make an honest effort at taking a swing at our economy, or if they will fall in line behind Mitch McConnell, who's only stated goal is to make Obama a one term president...

But if the tea party elects can sit down and work with the president, they will find out that he really is a moderate guy, that all of that Marxist and Socialist talk was all scare tactics and bs, and that there are a lot of pragmatic solutions to our current woes. There are areas of our government that could be gotten rid of, including the last couple of agencies created, the National Security Advisor and the Department of Homeland Security. Get rid of the 16 different spy and security agencies, put them under jurisdiction of either the FBI or the CIA. Let the FBI also take over Treasury investigations and busts, DEA, ATF, and others so that we stop redundant bureaucracies and multiple reports on similar subjects. Anyway, get rid of the parts of government that grossly intrude into our lives so that we may have a semblance of a fantasy that we are free and those cameras posted at every traffic light mean nothing... But, nobody has the cojones to really cut back government, they will be too busy lining up at the lobbyist's trough, shoveling in the the bucks like good little piggies, adjust your makeup and lipstick for the cameras...

Now that Obama is taking his much needed trip to Asia, maybe the foreign policy bug will bite him again, and he will try to restart the Palestinian peace talks, which kinda faded a bit and walked away from the table. Next, he'll want to visit Moscow before Putin takes over everything again, maybe even visit Cuba... We could have Obama spend the next couple of years wandering the globe as a goodwill ambassador, since nothing will get accomplished in Congress. If necessary, he could always mail in a veto now and then...