"President Obama was in Hollywood for a star-studded fundraiser. They raised a million dollars and converted him to Scientology." – Jimmy Kimmel
"I don't understand why the president has to drive. He could just flap his ears and fly anywhere." –Jimmy Kimmel
"After three weeks of jury deliberations, Rod Blagojevich was convicted yesterday on only one of the 24 counts against him. The one count he was convicted for? Transporting illegally silky hair across state lines." –Jimmy Kimmel
"He could get up to five years, though that's very unlikely. He'll probably do somewhere between Lindsay Lohan and Lil Wayne." –Jimmy Kimmel
"According to the Wall Street Journal, there is a growing movement among Democrats to replace Joe Biden as VP with Hillary Clinton in 2012. Do you realize that if that happens, for the first time Hillary will be directly under a president." –Jay Leno
"There has been a lot of talk of peace, but we have seen no results. We no longer have hope," - Luay Kabbah
"Peace process? What peace process? That's so nineties. After 18 years, don't they feel silly? There are only two scenarios. The optimistic one is more of the same. The pessimistic one is it's going to get worse." - Ahmad Aweidah
"We have no hope. Netanyahu will not give a thing, not in a year, not in years. Abu Mazen was forced to agree and therefore the talks will never succeed." - Jamal Khamis
"We are the audience in a theatre. We have memorised the play so many times, it is repeated in different forms, and sometimes with different faces, but it's the same. We know the final outcome. We don't feel hope coming out of it." - Samir Hulilehagainst the establishment of a Palestinian state, he sees in it the seeds of destruction of the Israeli state, and so it's why he wants to talk about security matters before talking borders. His reasoning was explained in a speech he gave in 2002 before the Knesset, quoting from Yaakov Hazan:
“Guaranteeing our national survival requires that we fight against the establishment of another Arab state on the West Bank. The entire essence of such a state would be directed against the existence of the State of Israel. No agreements or contracts would do any good – nor would peace treaties. Life is stronger than any of these.
“Squeezed in between two states – Jordan on the east and Israel on the West – this state would be a pressure cooker, always on the verge of bursting, with the explosion directed first of all westward – against us.
“It would be a state that would not be able or want to control the ‘dissidents’ among it, with the excuse that it is too weak to do so. It would become the most dangerous of jumping boards for terror directed against us. And ultimately, when we once again would be required to take matters into our own hands – and to fight with one raid following on the heels of another, we would appear in the eyes of the world to be conspiring against the existence of a young state that had just been born.”
So, does Hillary or Barack have a Plan B for Palestine? It looks more and more that they will need several alternatives, and handling the two major participants will be worse than dealing with Sarrah Palin and Glenn Beck combined. If I may humbly suggest that we begin each session of negotiations away from all of our experts, and offer everyone a selection of wonderful medical marijuana products from California and Colorado? See what we mean when we say Shop Colorado Proud... For a radical change, may I also offer that all world leaders start taking acid trips together. Instead of Bedouin tribes, we'd have Rainbow tribes... I can see Benjamin Netanyahu tripping out with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, maybe watching some old re-runs of Star Trek, or dancing to old Grateful Dead albums... Please Don't Dominate The Rap, Jack...
Talk on the Sunday shows was dominated by the troop withdrawal in Iraq, trying to find significance and solace that it was done so matter-of-fact, without any parades or picnics, without any hugging and kissing in the streets. Instead, we got an orderly pullout, produced by KBR.
I have yet to see any investigative journalism into where the Pentagon's disappearance of $87.1 billion dollars went, that was supposed to have gone for reconstruction projects in Iraq. Guess that's why there's no reliable electricity in Iraq, or plumbing, or waste management. I haven't seen a list of those companies hired to do those kinds of projects, or any Congressional hearings. Guess that's not up there on the mid-term election list of things to do. $87.1 billion would be nice to recover, but I don't see it happening unless the public starts making a stink about these things, prompting the media to start asking embarrassing questions... I saw L Paul Bremer 111 being asked his opinions on what progress we had made in Iraq. So funny, the last time I saw him, he was dodging questions from Henry Waxman, saying that he couldn't remember what happened to the $1 billion in cash he had sent over to Iraq in a military transport for his personal use...