Aftermath In Iran And Lebanon, Mama Grizzly Season

Gail Collins
Zachary Roth
Ali Younes

"Missouri just went to the polls! Perhaps some of you didn’t notice because you were on vacation this week. Or watering your hydrangea." - Gail Collins

"Nancy Pelosi said that when it comes to cleaning up government, the Democrats have drained the swamp. The only problem with that is what's left after you drain the swamp: snakes everywhere." – Jay Leno

"Because of Arizona's new law, a lot of immigrants have fled the state and returned to their homeland, Los Angeles." – Jay Leno

So, yesterday there was that explosive device tossed at Ahmadinejad's motorcade, and vehemently denied that it was any kind of assassination attempt by the Iranian government. What wasn't reported was that at the same time this was going on, an explosion at the Pardis petrochemical plant at the opposite end of the country, either from a ruptured gas line, which is the official version, or from 5 planted explosive devices... Judging by the way the government is spinning this, it looks like we now know where Tony Hayward landed his next job..."Iranian spokesman were also trying to play down the attempt on the president's life by a bomber present in the large audience surrounding his convoy. At first they reported that the target was the journalists' minivan riding in his convoy. But their security services made haste to put the Hamadan and Pardis attacks together for a joint investigation. They suspect some enemy antagonist may have sought to prove it can simultaneously strike at two major targets in opposite ends of the country and get close to the president and also the Bushehr reactor. Assaluyeh the town is a particularly sensitive place, because it is the hub of the Pars Special Energy Economic Zone whose industries are fueled by the natural gas piped in from the giant South Pars field. Three days before the petrochemical complex was inaugurated, there was another mysterious explosion at a second energy plant, this one located on Kharg Island.

Iran's security chiefs are beginning to suspect that one or more groups of covert saboteurs are at large on Iran's coast opposite the Strait of Hormuz and are gunning for the strategic industries and facilities located there." A little over a month ago, two Israeli submarines full of navy commandos and three US warships entered the Persian Gulf and are now stationed there, and shortly afterwards two Iranian chemical plants suffer explosions, and there has been one attempt on Ahmadinejad's life... Coincidence? I wonder if Ahmadinejad still plans on visiting Beirut at the end of this month, or will he remain barricaded in Tehran until its time to go to the US in Sept?

In weirder news, Iran is starting a website devoted to cartoons that will deny the holocaust, one of Ahmadinejad's favorite hobbies...

Click on Graphic to Enlarge

Now that the UN observers have given testimony that Israeli soldiers were on their own side of the border when Lebanese troops fired at them, the creepy aftermath begins. First, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu is demanding that the Lebanese Army either demote, reprimand, put in prison, or kick his ass out of the military, the Shiite commander who gave the order to fire. If this doesn't happen, then Israel will feel justified to attack those forces and move them back from the border. A bit heavy-handed, but designed to escalate tension, bully and lord it over one's enemies, and get a no for an answer. A triple-perfecta...

The sneakier response, is when Israel asks the US and France to lower their monetary assistance to the Lebanese Army. Maybe we need to start taking a hard look at where all of our foreign aid goes, it sure would be nice to stop funding military forces around the world, but then our munitions and arms makers would suffer and might lay off workers...

mama grizzly season...

I don't watch Fox News because I have a plasma television and I can't afford to be throwing things at it, so I missed last night's Sean Hannity show. Funniest damned thing though, he had the official Fox news contributer, Sarah Palin herself on, contributing her opinion that Barack Obama is in over his head: "Though Palin did not fully articulate when the president has demonstrated that he has not been able to handle the job, the former Alaska governor asserted during an interview with Fox News’s Sean Hannity that Obama was not up to the job.


“I think he’s quite complacent, and I think he’s in over his head, and he has poor advisers around him. And I think he’s really in flux when it comes to what his governing philosophy really is,” she said. “Some of this, though, is a result of him not having much experience,” added Palin, who left the governor’s office halfway through her first term. Palin blamed a “complicit media” and voters who did not demand that Obama be fully “vetted” during the presidential campaign."

I have been ignoring Sarah lately, because she is too easy a target to make fun of, but this calls for extensive pop psychological analysis... It seems that Sarah is joining me in the grumpy stage of life, taking the complaints that the media said of her during the presidential campaign and transferring them to Obama in her astute commentating. I still shudder to think where we would be if she ever got in the White House, except to hand over an autographed copy of her book, written by someone else... Which begs the question, and maybe I should use it in a poll, which person do you think is dumber - George Bush or Sarah Palin? Or how about making it into a bumpersticker?

George Bush & Sarah Palin

Dumb and Dumber

I really shouldn't be this mean to the Palin family, after all, they do have their share of problems. Now that Bristol has canceled her marriage to that slutpuppy Levi, Sarah can only hope that She meets a nice woman to settle down with. They can move to California, and once that gays can marry again, Sarah can rest assured that Bristol will be in a happier and more stable relationship to raise her baby...