Eugene Robinson
Dana Milbank
David Corn
Benjamin Bidder
President Obama's trip to Russia has already been deemed a success, unless you are a fan of nuclear armaments and the crazy paranoia it engenders. Several large businesses went along with him, brokering some large deals that also should help thaw relations. It turns out that if you are a lover of the Russian vodka Stolichnaya, you have Pepsi to thank, as reported by the NY Times: "PepsiCo will invest $1 billion in Russia over the next three years and open its largest bottling plant in the world outside Moscow, the company said Monday, on the sidelines of a summit meeting of the Russian and American presidents.
Pepsi’s announcement came as an echo of the company’s first appearance in this country, also on the sidelines of a political tête-à-tête in Moscow in 1959, known as the kitchen debate.
It gained that nickname because Vice President Richard M. Nixon and the Soviet prime minister, Nikita S. Khrushchev, debated the merits of capitalism and Communism in a model American kitchen built at an exhibition center in Moscow. At that exhibit, Mr. Khrushchev also tried Pepsi. The company became an exclusive soft-drink supplier to the Soviet Union under a 1973 agreement that also allowed the Soviets to export Stolichnaya vodka to the United States." It turns out this was a better deal for Russia than Pepsi because Stoli and cola aren't a very good drink combination...
Tomorrow Obama goes to Italy for the G-8 conference, hosted by that scandalous Berlesconi. I wonder if he will hire any high priced hookers to keep the world leaders company? Italians are wondering what he's thinking by having it in a town that recently had an earthquake and is still feeling aftershocks, as the NY Times notes: "Since Friday, four new earthquakes have shaken L’Aquila, the central Italian city where Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi moved the meeting in solidarity after a devastating quake here on April 6 killed nearly 300 people and left 65,000 others homeless.
After a quake measuring a magnitude of 4.1 on Friday sent frightened residents into the streets, the government announced a “Plan B,” in which world leaders would be evacuated by helicopter to Rome to continue meeting if a serious quake struck." This is assuming that there would be survivors to transport. Do you feel lucky, punk? I am going to have to revise my former Merry Prankster Theory of Politics, which is in an earlier post, to include the entire world, not just within the US... and it will have to include the Pope, who now thinks he's an economist. It's time to up the entertainment factor, oil wrestling with the Pope versus the Ayatollah Khamenei, pay per view that I want to see...
Also, today both sides of the Honduran Incident are meeting in Washington with representatives of our government, asking for help and direction on getting out of the mess they've made, again, as reported by NY Times: "A delegation of Honduran lawmakers and backers of the new government arrived here on Monday to make their case with members of the administration and the United States Congress, while Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton planned her first meeting since the start of the crisis with Manuel Zelaya, the deposed Honduran president.
The new battleground could make it hard for the administration to maintain its current strategy on Honduras. Up until now, the United States has largely tried to stay behind the scenes while letting the Organization of American States take the lead in pressing for Mr. Zelaya’s reinstatement, as part of an effort by the Obama administration to end American dominance in the hemisphere and to demonstrate greater collaboration with its neighbors."
Today is Michael Jackson's memorial. I hope that it will have some dignity and not become a spectacle as many people want a spotlight to tell you what good friends they were to Michael. Truth is, the poor guy had no friends, and was living a lie about his life. I always thought that if he had learned how to play some kind of musical instrument, he could at least gotten together with other musicians and played, perhaps even publicly performing in smaller venues, giving him a constant outlet for his creativity. The only way that he connected with people is through large, multi-million dollar spectacles, and it translated over into his life, which became a spectacle, then a nightmare. I often crave painkillers for the constant 24/7 pain I have, but he spent $47,000 per month trying to obliterate reality until it finally killed him. Sad, that no-one in his family cared enough to upset the gravy-train. I hope that he will be remembered for what little he accomplished in his life. Sad, sad, sad.
In memoriall, here are some vintage Michael Jackson late night jokes:
"What's especially sad is that most people of a certain generation only know Michael Jackson as a crazy guy who had a lot of plastic surgery -- whereas the truth is, he was not only an unbelievably talented, groundbreaking performer, he also helped break down the racial prejudice in this country. He was an extremely powerful symbol -- a black performer who whites could relate to and then later in life, a white performer who blacks could relate to." --Jimmy Kimmel
"The effects of the Barack Obama election win are still reverberating throughout the country. A lot of pride in the African-American community. Have you noticed that? And listen to the latest rumor. You hear about this? ... Michael Jackson now considering going back to being a black guy." --Jay Leno
"See all those people on the news walking around wearing those surgical masks, huh? For the swine flu. Suddenly Michael Jackson is not so crazy, huh? Yeah! I think we owe Michael an apology." --Jay Leno
"But, you know, people are now talking about the ticket, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. Would that be a good ticket? Would you folks like that ticket? And I think this would be the first, if you think about it, first combination of an African American man and a white woman since, well, Michael Jackson." --David Letterman
"Good news for Michael Jackson, not guilty on ten counts! The bad news -- he's going to Disneyland!" --Jay Leno
"Legal experts say the key was that the defense really didn’t play the race card. Well, duh. They didn’t know which race to play." --Jay Leno
"It's like they always say, if you're rich and white, you can get away with anything." --Jimmy Kimmel, on the Michael Jackson verdict
"It's kind of ironic when you think about it. The only Jackson you can accuse of committing a lewd act is Janet at the Super Bowl. The one we wanted to see." --Jay Leno
"The next big question is, Will Michael Jackson be Robert Blake's new golf partner or Scott Peterson's new girlfriend? --Jay Leno
"Johnny Cochran died and had a funeral. You know who was at the funeral -- both O.J. Simpson and Michael Jackson. In fact, Michael cornered O.J. and said, 'How do you get stains off a glove?'" --Bill Maher
"Michael Jackson was caught on tape saying he was a virgin until he was the age of 32. I mean, is that really shocking? I mean, he was a black man guy 'til he was 35." --Jay Leno
"As you know, Michael Jackson late again to court twice this week…have you seen him? Two people helping him walk into the building; he's constantly late; he's crying a lot; he's walking stiffly…I think he's going through menopause." --Jay Leno
"Michael brought his personal magician into court with him. Good to see this thing doesn't turn into a circus. I guess the magician's job at Neverland was to make the young boy's pants disappear." --Jay Leno
"According to the news, Michael Jackson is broke and can't even afford the payroll at Neverland Ranch. So the next time you see Michael with his hands in a 12-year-old's pocket, he might just be looking for lunch money." --Jay Leno
Michael Jackson, late for court again today, you know, because of his bad back. Well, you'd have a bad back too if every conversation you had in your life involved having to bend over and ask, "What's your name?" --Jay Leno
"A lot of people think Michael may be suicidal. That's the latest theory. Just last night he swallowed an entire bottle of Flintstone Chewables." --Jay Leno
"A lot of people thought Michael Jackson was faking it yesterday but people who know Michael say he does have back problems that flare up from time to time. Like when he's on trial for child molestation." --Jay Leno
"What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Dick Cheney? One has pasty white skin, fake body parts and he's creepy; the other's Michael Jackson." --Jay Leno
"Michael Jackson claims that his partners would sleep in the bed, while he slept on the floor. You know, it's the same arrangement the Clintons had." --Jay Leno
"The judge in the Michael Jackson child molestation trial selected 250 candidates for the jury pool, while Jackson himself has selected 20 for the kiddie pool." --Amy Poehler, Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"
"Now he is out on bail — again he still doesn't get it. When a reporter asked him what he is going to do now, he said, 'I'm going to Disneyland.'" —Jay Leno
"Early today Michael met with his priest — not for spiritual advice, they went on a double date." —Jay Leno
"I can sum up Michael Jackson's legal defense in three words: dead man moonwalking." —Craig Kilborn
After a quake measuring a magnitude of 4.1 on Friday sent frightened residents into the streets, the government announced a “Plan B,” in which world leaders would be evacuated by helicopter to Rome to continue meeting if a serious quake struck." This is assuming that there would be survivors to transport. Do you feel lucky, punk? I am going to have to revise my former Merry Prankster Theory of Politics, which is in an earlier post, to include the entire world, not just within the US... and it will have to include the Pope, who now thinks he's an economist. It's time to up the entertainment factor, oil wrestling with the Pope versus the Ayatollah Khamenei, pay per view that I want to see...
Also, today both sides of the Honduran Incident are meeting in Washington with representatives of our government, asking for help and direction on getting out of the mess they've made, again, as reported by NY Times: "A delegation of Honduran lawmakers and backers of the new government arrived here on Monday to make their case with members of the administration and the United States Congress, while Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton planned her first meeting since the start of the crisis with Manuel Zelaya, the deposed Honduran president.
The new battleground could make it hard for the administration to maintain its current strategy on Honduras. Up until now, the United States has largely tried to stay behind the scenes while letting the Organization of American States take the lead in pressing for Mr. Zelaya’s reinstatement, as part of an effort by the Obama administration to end American dominance in the hemisphere and to demonstrate greater collaboration with its neighbors."
Today is Michael Jackson's memorial. I hope that it will have some dignity and not become a spectacle as many people want a spotlight to tell you what good friends they were to Michael. Truth is, the poor guy had no friends, and was living a lie about his life. I always thought that if he had learned how to play some kind of musical instrument, he could at least gotten together with other musicians and played, perhaps even publicly performing in smaller venues, giving him a constant outlet for his creativity. The only way that he connected with people is through large, multi-million dollar spectacles, and it translated over into his life, which became a spectacle, then a nightmare. I often crave painkillers for the constant 24/7 pain I have, but he spent $47,000 per month trying to obliterate reality until it finally killed him. Sad, that no-one in his family cared enough to upset the gravy-train. I hope that he will be remembered for what little he accomplished in his life. Sad, sad, sad.
In memoriall, here are some vintage Michael Jackson late night jokes:
"What's especially sad is that most people of a certain generation only know Michael Jackson as a crazy guy who had a lot of plastic surgery -- whereas the truth is, he was not only an unbelievably talented, groundbreaking performer, he also helped break down the racial prejudice in this country. He was an extremely powerful symbol -- a black performer who whites could relate to and then later in life, a white performer who blacks could relate to." --Jimmy Kimmel
"The effects of the Barack Obama election win are still reverberating throughout the country. A lot of pride in the African-American community. Have you noticed that? And listen to the latest rumor. You hear about this? ... Michael Jackson now considering going back to being a black guy." --Jay Leno
"See all those people on the news walking around wearing those surgical masks, huh? For the swine flu. Suddenly Michael Jackson is not so crazy, huh? Yeah! I think we owe Michael an apology." --Jay Leno
"But, you know, people are now talking about the ticket, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. Would that be a good ticket? Would you folks like that ticket? And I think this would be the first, if you think about it, first combination of an African American man and a white woman since, well, Michael Jackson." --David Letterman
"Good news for Michael Jackson, not guilty on ten counts! The bad news -- he's going to Disneyland!" --Jay Leno
"Legal experts say the key was that the defense really didn’t play the race card. Well, duh. They didn’t know which race to play." --Jay Leno
"It's like they always say, if you're rich and white, you can get away with anything." --Jimmy Kimmel, on the Michael Jackson verdict
"It's kind of ironic when you think about it. The only Jackson you can accuse of committing a lewd act is Janet at the Super Bowl. The one we wanted to see." --Jay Leno
"The next big question is, Will Michael Jackson be Robert Blake's new golf partner or Scott Peterson's new girlfriend? --Jay Leno
"Johnny Cochran died and had a funeral. You know who was at the funeral -- both O.J. Simpson and Michael Jackson. In fact, Michael cornered O.J. and said, 'How do you get stains off a glove?'" --Bill Maher
"Michael Jackson was caught on tape saying he was a virgin until he was the age of 32. I mean, is that really shocking? I mean, he was a black man guy 'til he was 35." --Jay Leno
"As you know, Michael Jackson late again to court twice this week…have you seen him? Two people helping him walk into the building; he's constantly late; he's crying a lot; he's walking stiffly…I think he's going through menopause." --Jay Leno
"Michael brought his personal magician into court with him. Good to see this thing doesn't turn into a circus. I guess the magician's job at Neverland was to make the young boy's pants disappear." --Jay Leno
"According to the news, Michael Jackson is broke and can't even afford the payroll at Neverland Ranch. So the next time you see Michael with his hands in a 12-year-old's pocket, he might just be looking for lunch money." --Jay Leno
Michael Jackson, late for court again today, you know, because of his bad back. Well, you'd have a bad back too if every conversation you had in your life involved having to bend over and ask, "What's your name?" --Jay Leno
"A lot of people think Michael may be suicidal. That's the latest theory. Just last night he swallowed an entire bottle of Flintstone Chewables." --Jay Leno
"A lot of people thought Michael Jackson was faking it yesterday but people who know Michael say he does have back problems that flare up from time to time. Like when he's on trial for child molestation." --Jay Leno
"What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Dick Cheney? One has pasty white skin, fake body parts and he's creepy; the other's Michael Jackson." --Jay Leno
"Michael Jackson claims that his partners would sleep in the bed, while he slept on the floor. You know, it's the same arrangement the Clintons had." --Jay Leno
"The judge in the Michael Jackson child molestation trial selected 250 candidates for the jury pool, while Jackson himself has selected 20 for the kiddie pool." --Amy Poehler, Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"
"Now he is out on bail — again he still doesn't get it. When a reporter asked him what he is going to do now, he said, 'I'm going to Disneyland.'" —Jay Leno
"Early today Michael met with his priest — not for spiritual advice, they went on a double date." —Jay Leno
"I can sum up Michael Jackson's legal defense in three words: dead man moonwalking." —Craig Kilborn
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