Most of today's news is a rehash of what happened during the weekend, so I thought now would be a good time to spread tips to keep the bears from breaking into your house.There were 4 break-ins over the weekend in Boulder, Colorado, and, according to the Denver Post: "In all of the bear break-ins, the animals entered the homes through windows that were left partially open. The bears were able to pull of the window screens and force their way in through the windows.
The sheriff's office recommends that mountain residents remove all food from around their houses, including pet food; keep garbage cans inside until the trash is scheduled to be picked up; tightly cover compost; clean barbecue grills; and close all doors and windows within eight feet of the ground." Good sense, good neighbors, good dreams... I'll look for more tips on keeping the wolves from your door and other assorted wildlife...
Tomorrow is the vote to confirm Sonia Sotomayor for the Supreme Court. Creepy Jeff Sessions has announced that he will vote against her, from CQ Politics: "Jeff Sessions became the fourth of seven Republicans on the Senate Judiciary Committee to come out against Sotomayor's nomination in advance of Tuesday's vote. Jon Kyl of Arizona, John Cornyn of Texas and Orrin G. Hatch of Utah all announced their opposition last week." Does it make any difference if these people announce their vote ahead of time? Are you impressed, that these Republicans are symbolically against a Democratic nominee? According to author Jeffrey Toobin, who wrote The Nine, all politics centered on the Supreme Court is all about abortions and trying to overturn Roe v Wade... right wingers won't vote for anyone, even a moderate, unless they are willing to chip away at those issues.
late night jokes:
"The President of the United States spent the week talking about America's most vulnerable citizens, the Cambridge police department. Now, if you somehow missed the beginning of this story, let me catch you up. Perhaps the foremost African-American scholar in America today, Henry Louis Gates, was arrested for being black while home. Yes, apparently, in America if you're black, you can be pulled over for driving a stolen house. Except that it was his house." --Bill Maher
"What kind of burglar breaks into a house with luggage? That's what I want to know about. " --Bill Maher
"And the police officer, Officer Crowley ... apparently, he said Henry Louis Gates was threatening. And by threatening, of course, he meant he was an educated black man." --Bill Maher
"So, I don't know if this is a case of racism. The police in Cambridge say it had nothing to do with Gates being black. They said they would have given the same treatment to any minority." --Bill Maher
"President Obama said that the Cambridge police 'acted stupidly' when they arrested a professor for being a cat burglar in his own home. And now, President Obama says that he regrets saying, 'stupid.' What he meant was, 'retarded.'" --Bill Maher
"It's comforting to know that the men with the guns and Mace the Tasers and the license to kill are this thin-skinned, isn't it? But I guess they are, because about an hour ago, Air Force One was pulled over for a broken tail-light." --Bill Maher
"But it's all coming out okay, because Obama today spoke to Officer Crowley on the phone. He said he was a good man, a good policeman, and they could find common ground. Although he did find it strange at the end of their conversation that Crowley demanded to see his birth certificate." --Bill Maher
"More than you might expect, actually, apparently there was a group of Americans who did not believe that Barack Obama was born in the United States and therefore should not be president. They're called 'birthers.' They are. The birthers want Obama's election to be invalidated, which, I'm not sure what their goal is. Are they aware that Joe Biden would be the president?" --Jimmy Kimmel
"The birthers believe that the president was secretly born in Kenya. ... I always thought he was born in a manger in Jerusalem." --Jimmy Kimmel
"But Kenya makes no sense. Listen, if Barack Obama had been born in Kenya, don't you think Madonna would have adopted him by now?" --Jimmy Kimmel
"Big news up in Alaska. Sarah Palin will formally step down as governor on Sunday, leaving us completely unprotected from the Russians." --Jimmy Kimmel
"Palin announced her retirement a couple of weeks ago without exactly saying why. Ordinarily, when you quit a job like this, you give a reason, like, 'I was just caught in a restroom soliciting gay sex,' or, 'I was just caught banging a thousand-dollar hooker,' or, 'I was just caught sneaking to Argentina to have sex with my girlfriend' -- oh, wait, that guy didn't actually resign. But you get the idea." --Jimmy Kimmel
"Her decision to resign has resulted in an 18-point drop in her approval rating among Americans and a 52-point drop among terrified moose. She says she's going to divide her time between traveling to support conservative causes and learning to pronounce the 'G' at the end of words" --Jimmy Kimmel
"Sarah Palin will be stepping down in two days. Unless, of course, she decides to leave early." --David Letterman
"Governor Palin says she's leaving office because she wants to spend more time hunting down her escaped son-in-law." --David Letterman
"This week, police in New Jersey busted a criminal ring that illegally sold everything from Gucci handbags to body parts. Which sounds like one-stop shopping for the Real Housewives of New Jersey." --Conan O'Brien
"President Obama said that since becoming president, he's gone from praying before bed to praying all the time. And it's always the same prayer: 'God, please don't let Joe Biden say something stupid today. Please.'" --Jimmy Fallon
"The ratings for President Obama's press conference Wednesday night were down 14 percent from his last one. So, to try to boost ratings for his next press conference, they're having his cousin Oliver move into the White House." --Jimmy Fallon
"This is crazy. Three mayors in New Jersey were arrested yesterday in a huge money laundering scheme. Investigators knew something didn't smell right, aside from what normally didn't smell right in New Jersey." --Jimmy Fallon
David Letterman's Top Ten Things Overheard at Sarah Palin's Farewell Party
10. More tiny hot dog appetizers? You betcha.
9. Don't forget to schedule an appointment with Joe the Mover.
8. Quiet down! We don't want to wake the Russians.
7. Todd, I've always wanted to know -- what do you do exactly?
6. John McCain passed out in the dip.
5. Where can I check my pelt?
4. Bad news -- the new governor just quit.
3. Please accept this gift from all of us
2. 'Dancing with the Stars' called, they got your resume.
1. I haven't seen you since the 'Fire Dave Letterman' Rally