Michael Steele Week! Saudi Non-elections,Bob and Joe...

Maureen Dowd
Kathleen Parker
Michael Steele


"It's not yet clear how the one-armed-midget demographic is shaping up, but everybody else seems to be bailing on the GOP." - Kathleen Parker

"This change comes in a tea bag!" - Michael Steele

"Is Bernie Madoff advising the Treasury these days?" - David Boaz


It's Michael Steele Week! He's writing editorials in Politico, which you can read in yesterday's posting. He's giving speeches, just click on the link above for the full text of his speech to the RNC... And now, he's threatening to quit! From the Political Wire: "RNC Chairman Michael Steele told Fox News that part of his job is to "manage the money" and suggested that if committee members strip him of that authority he'll step aside.

Said Steele: "They can contemplate all they want to, but the reality is if they want a figurehead chairman you can have a figurehead chairman, but it won't be Michael Steele."

Following in the tradition adopted during the failed Presidential campaign of imitating the ideas that worked for Democrats, the Republican National Committee elected a black man to go toe to toe against the first black President. Michael Steele would like to be compared to Obama in charisma, ideas, and oratory, but falls far short in all of those areas.

Every time he opens his mouth, it becomes clear that he is in over his head, and now the RNC has taken away the purse strings and limited how he can spend money. The RNC knows they chose an empty figurehead, the pundits have known it for awhile, many in the public get it, and slowly, it's beginning to dawn on Michael himself. He wants to make significant history as Barack Obama is doing, but lacks the skills to do so, and either must content himself in being the old white guy's attack weasel, or resign and keep what little dignity he has left. But, and I almost feel sorry for the man, he will do neither and we will see this pathetic tale played out to its grisly end...


Greg Pierce asks in his Inside Politics column in the Washington Times, where is the bailout money coming from?: "Much of it is just being created on the balance sheets of the Federal Reserve, which portends rising inflation. Certainly, its too much to be paid for in taxes, even in the fondest dreams of Barack Obama and Nancy Pelosi. Is Bernie Madoff advising the Treasury these days?" Mr. Boaz said.

"How much money is it? CNN Money estimates that the federal government has now committed $10.5 trillion. Christopher Barker at the Motley Fool concludes that 'the combined total of existing, announced, and potential outlays from the Federal Reserve and U.S. government agencies that are directly attributable to the financial crisis will breach $13 trillion!' The complaints against the Obama administration about the huge sums of money being spent always makes me nervous - what if the arguments are right? Unfortunately, only time will tell, despite the reassuring words coming from Tim Geithner lately...


CNN has a good profile on Defense Secretary Robert Gates: "How can you like a job when you go to Walter Reed or Bethesda [military hospitals] and you know you sent those young men and women in harm's way? Every single person in combat today, I sent there, and I never forget that for a second. So, no, I don't enjoy my job," Gates told CBS in an interview that aired on "60 Minutes."

Gates, the only holdover from the Bush administration, has helped reshape the conflicts on the ground in Iraq and Afghanistan." Robert Gates is one of the most respected men in the administration, and this piece demonstrates why.

Saudi Arabia had set up local election in 2005 to elect one half of its Paliament, the other half was selected by the royal family. Even though the current king is a tad more liberal that his predecessors, it was announced today that the upcoming current elections will be postponed for two more years. So now we have places like Iran, Afghanistan, and Yemen taking their elections more seriously, performing them more honestly, and abiding by the results, unlike our staunch allies like the Kingdom. Makes you pause...

And, John McCaslin of the Washington Times takes a cheap shot at Joe Biden: "Traveling overseas is always risky for a vice president, especially this one... Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. late Tuesday was in Bosnia and Herzegovina to address the parliament, and the White House made certain to release his prepared remarks beforehand.

In the case of the gaffe-prone Mr. Biden, this obviously helps to explain in advance what he meant to say if indeed he ended up spouting something else - like disclosing U.S. sites for a strategic ballistic missile defense base in Europe." I shamelessly do this to set up for the David Letterman top ten, included below...

Late night jokes:

"Here's something that I am very excited about. Joe Biden, the current vice president, was yakking away over the weekend. And he -- remember when Dick Cheney was in an undisclosed location and everybody thought: Where? So supposedly top secret information, classified information. And Joe Biden just says, 'No, I know where he was. He was hiding under his house. Joe Biden is living proof that people can give up sensitive information without being tortured.'" --David Letterman

"Fascinating. I mean, on the other hand, you wonder about a vice president who's got a panic room. 'It's just the ice cream truck, Dick. You can come up.'" --David Letterman

"Yeah, the underground dungeon is where Dick and his evil monks plotted to take over the Vatican." --David Letterman

"Ladies and gentlemen, there's good news for the environment. They're cleaning up the Hudson River. It had gotten so bad that the salmon actually had to swim upstream every year for their hepatitis shots." --David Letterman

"The Lakers beat the Houston Rockets 89-70. This is the happiest people in LA have been to see somebody going back to Houston since George Bush left office." --Jay Leno

"Los Angeles will start a water rationing in June, which means Dick Cheney will only be allowed to waterboard guys two days a week now." --Jay Leno

"Well, another gaffe by Vice President Joe Biden. God bless Joe Biden. He's been our savior here. Newsweek is reporting that at the Gridiron Dinner, Joe Biden started talking and accidentally revealed Dick Cheney's secret hiding place. See, there's more proof you don't need waterboarding to get secret information. Just give Joe Biden a couple of drinks." --Jay Leno

"This is part of our new plan. It's called 'Don't Ask, We'll Tell.'" --Jay Leno

"Actually, do you know what Dick Cheney's secret location turned out to be? Under the Vice President's house. Is that really a secret, huh? You're in the basement, really? Our enemies never think to look behind the furnace. Ooh." --Jay Leno

"And a Chicago company is now marketing hair products inspired by that idiot Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. This is real. This is the new product right here. It's called Head & Swindler. Can you read the back? It says, 'lather, rinse, impeach.' It's all right here." --Jay Leno

"No, actually, Nancy Pelosi said she heard stories of inmates being injected with a deadly toxin that paralyzes the nerves in your face. No, that's her Botox. I'm sorry. You know, I'm so confused." --Jay Leno

"General Motors announced they're closing over a thousand dealerships. A lot of people are blaming GM's new CEO, some guy named Barack Obama." --Jay Leno

"Well, as you know, President Obama spoke at a couple colleges this week. He told the graduates at Arizona State they should not lead their lives like Bernard Madoff. Well, sure, if you're going to steal money and stay out of jail, become an executive at AIG That's how you do it." --Jay Leno

"And at his commencement speech at Notre Dame, President Obama said we should be doing everything we can to prevent unplanned pregnancies, to which John Edwards said, 'Tell me about it.'" --Jay Leno

"And California is going broke. Governor Schwarzenegger may have to sell some of the landmarks like the Coliseum and San Quentin, which is bad news if you're a Raider fan. You're losing two homes, the Coliseum and prison." --Jay Leno

"This week marks the 54th anniversary of the invention of the credit card. See, before that, people practiced something called 'living within their means' -- a foolish, foolish, outmoded way of life." --Jay Leno

"On Saturday, President Obama went to Malia and Sasha's soccer games. He rode to the games on Minivan One." --Jimmy Fallon

"Well, this is surprising. A new survey shows that the happiest Americans are elderly, male, and Republican. In other words, Republican." --Jimmy Fallon

David Letterman's Top Ten Classified Pieces of Information Revealed by Joe Biden

10. Biden confirmed Vice President has no actual responsibilities.
9. Obama also bought his kids a kangaroo.
8. Nixon faked his death to escape gambling debts.
7. In case of trouble, President's car can turn into a fighting robot.
6. To enter Oval Office, you must know the President's secret fist-bump.
5. Biden often skips staff meetings to watch "Jon And Kate Plus Eight."
4. America will declare it's going out of business next Tuesday.
3. Obama smokes in his sleep.
2. When Bush ran out of pate at a state dinner, he fed Queen Elizabeth week-old taco meat.
1. Dick Cheney once caught waterboarding himself