Karl Rove VS Stormy Daniels, the Biggest Implants?

Sami Moubayed
Timothy Geithner
Michael Grunwald


"I usually side with the minority, so my sympathy would be more the Republican side" -- the Dalai Lama, to the NY state Senate

Karl Rove is a funny guy. He is trying to be in as many media forums as possible right now, not only because he thinks we want to hear what he has to say, but he is also trying to make as large a nut as possible before the rug is pulled from underneath him this coming June...

Zachary Roth writes in TPM about Karl Rove finally getting around to testifying in court: "Karl Rove's long-awaited testimony before Congress about the US Attorney firings will likely occur around early June, according to Rove's lawyer. Robert Luskin told TPMmuckraker that the Obama White House has been painstakingly sorting through the documents related to the firings, and is providing them to Rove and to the House Judiciary committee simultaneously. It's that process, said Luskin, that's driving the scheduling of Rove's testimony. Luskin stressed that the discussions have been cordial on all sides.

After the announcement in early March of the agreement securing Rove's testimony -- which will also cover the Don Siegelman case -- Luskin had suggested that we'd be hearing from Rove in "several weeks," though he declined to be more specific. But clearly, the process is taking longer than anticipated."

And some reader responses: "As I understand it, this will not be an open hearing. The agreement was that Rove would only be deposed behind closed doors. Nor will he be asked to testify under oath. He will submit transcribed depositions under penalty of perjury. With regard to the Scudder memo, which is a key piece of evidence which could connect all the dots all the way up to the VP and Bush, the Judiciary committee is allowed to look at it, but not copy or keep it for analysis. Rove is still allowed to assert both personal and executive privilege but he agreed to do so less frequently.

IMO, this whole thing will be a non event." - tpmgary

"Anyone who thinks that Karl is going to forced to fess up and name names is fooling themselves. He'll obfuscate, evade, dither, confuse, deny, and generally run rings around the Dems who will grandstand, pontificate, and blather instead of ask tough questions. The only way something really noteworthy would happen would be if an actual prosecutor were to be present. Pat Fitzgerald would be interesting to see." - bluestatedon

"Can we move the proceedings to Guantanamo? If torture really works Rove will tell us everything." -traitorjoe

Here's a fun story. A young girl leaves Louisiana in the broad daylight to make her fame and fortune, only to return after a career as a porn star to see if she wants to run for a Senate seat. Such is the forlorn tale of Stormy Daniels: "She's a Louisiana-born porn star who says she is considering a 2010 run for the U.S. Senate seat currently held by Republican David Vitter, whose family-values reputation was marred in 2007 when his name was linked to a Washington prostitution ring.

Daniels, 30, insists she's serious. She's spending her own money on a "listening tour" to hear what people have to say as she considers a possible run, and said she isn't just starting a publicity stunt to promote her work or embarrass Vitter." She's smarter than Marey Carey, and, if elected, may help promote Louisiana's fledgling silicon industry...

David Vitter, the incumbent, like most politicians, is a freak. According to Victoria Kos: "We're talking about, among other things, Diaper Fetishism. That's right folks, according to a trusted inside source, Vitter was well known among other Canal Street Brothel patrons to like diapers as well as other bizarre "fetishes". I don't have much more info than that from my source, except that some of the other patrons at the brothel included a well known business-minded New Orleans Republican and a well known Democratic ex-governor. There are many other well known patrons who never held public office, too.

The striking thing about conservative republicans is the routine coincidence of ‘unusual’ sexual preferences and consuming obsession with demonizing those unusual preferences in others. One begins to wonder about the psychological drivers with these people. So I started down this interesting, though really mind-bending, train of thought about self-hate, fear of discovery, obsessive compensation, cognitive dissonance with conservatism serving as an overarching world view to rationalize the internal turmoil and . . . the room started spinning. What a world these people create for themselves. And they have actually been in positions of authority for a couple of decades. Is it any wonder that America’s become the world’s satan."

Speaking of freaks, my friend Joe the Plumber is quitting the Republican Party, or so he hopes to make headlines with that statement this week. Since we know he likes to keep the gays away from his kids, and he has threatened to kick the snot out of terrorists, I wonder what kind of sick, sadistic kicks he is into?

Late night jokes:

"President Obama spoke on the phone this weekend for 20 minutes with Mexican President Calderon on how to cooperate on fighting this swine flu thing. Afterwards, he said the people of America and Mexico have found common ground. I believe it's called Los Angeles." --Jay Leno

"Happy Cinco de Mayo, everybody. Now, do you know the history of Cinco de Mayo? Well, Cinco de Mayo celebrates the Mexicans driving the French out of Mexico in 1862. See, I am so glad the Mexicans won that one. Imagine if the French had won. Mexico would not only have swine flu, they'd be rude and chain smoking, too." --Jay Leno

"Well, this flu epidemic thing has become international. Mexico has filed a formal complaint against the country of China for seizing 70 of its citizens and quarantining them. China seized 70 people from Mexico, and Mexico said it was shocked. And, of course, the U.S. was stunned. Seventy? That's more than we've seized all year. Come on!" --Jay Leno

"And health officials have confirmed the first case of the virus being transmitted from a person to a pig. A farmer has transmitted the virus back to a pig. Scientists say they have not been able to come up with a good explanation on how this happened and neither has the farmer." --Jay Leno

"The White House announced today that Vice President Joe Biden has laryngitis. Yeah. They said that he has a rare strain they hope lasts until 2012." --Jay Leno

"Here's an unusual story. Only in Louisiana! I love Louisiana politics. This is my favorite. A porn star named Stormy Daniels is now embarking on a listening tour of the state of Louisiana. She's considering running for the Senate. A porn star running for the Senate. Porn to politics. That's kind of a lateral move, isn't it?" --Jay Leno

"And Federal authorities are now investigating how John Edwards spent his campaign money. Well, we know what he didn't spend it on — condoms!" --Jay Leno

"No, this is true. A criminal grand jury is now probing whether or not Edwards illegally gave $114,000 from his political action committee to his mistress. Edwards said it was proper use of action committee money because he said, hey, he was getting plenty of action." --Jay Leno

"And today, President Barack Obama promised to 'detect and pursue' American tax evaders, as opposed to his first 100 days, in which he detected and nominated American tax evaders." --Jay Leno

"The economy is in bad shape. In fact, the economy is so bad, John Edwards is giving his mistress IOUs." --Jay Leno

"Miss California went to a gay wedding just for the free food. That's how bad' the economy is." --Jay Leno

"President Obama may choose a Supreme Court nominee by the end of the week. That's fast. Nothing against the President, but doesn't it worry you that it took him 10 times longer to decide on a dog?" --Craig Ferguson

"I just read a new study that shows that obese children are much more likely to develop allergies. But here is the good news -- not food allergies." --Jimmy Fallon

"Happy Cinco de Mayo to uno and all. Cinco de Mayo is actually a bigger holiday here in the United States than it is in Mexico because we have more Mexicans here than they do there." --Jimmy Kimmel

"President Obama attended an early Cinco de Mayo event at the White House yesterday, but he mistakenly greeted guests with the phrase, Welcome to Cinco de Cuatro, which means five of four. Maybe it's the White House itself that makes people dumb." --Jimmy Kimmel