I Want a Little Polonium In My Bowl...

The pundits keep on speculating on the amount of hacking and influencing Russia is trying to interfere with our current presidential election. We've all read by now the stories of purported Russian intelligence groups with stupid bear names were rooting around in the DNC email servers and then giving over 3000  email files to WikiLeaks to publish. Julian Assange is holed up still in the Ecuadorian embassy threatening to publish more unless, what, people will get embarrassed by what a political ass they are? Red flags should have been raised by a hack that any sixth grade kid can do...

Granted, the US and Russia have a long, grand tradition of spying on each other over the last 60 years, enough to fill the coffers of Hollywood movie studios and publishing houses everywhere... The current conceit is that Vladimir Putin is enthralled of Donald Trump enough to consider him one of his minions; he actually said that Donald was quite the colorful character, which Donald typically blew up to mean that Putin considered him to be a genius. One could say that the reason Donald feels such an affinity for Mr. Putin is because they both singlehandedly are trying to make their countries great again, while fleecing millions from the public in the process.

And yes, we, too, have hacked into Russian servers for information, though nowadays it's a lot easier to wait until an ex-premier moves to the US or an oligarch buys a basketball franchise... In fact, I wonder where Mr Putin has selected his next estate, will it be in Florida or California? Remember Vlad, it's still easier to send ricin through our mails than to send a minion with one of those clunky polonium isotopes to act as an ice cube...

This story will last until The Donald shoots himself in the foot again. He cannot stop himself from over-reacting to the slightest criticism. My favorites from the DNC was that every time someone gave a good speech the Trump minions would say how it was plagiarized...

DNC Day 4: Hillary Survives Expectations

The burning question for this evening was: could Hillary hit it out of the park with her acceptance speech? The answer is no, of course she couldn't, nobody could compete with Barack and Michelle Obama, but she did give one of the better ones of her career. And she doesn't like giving speeches...

We had been on thunderstorm watch all evening, and right when it was time for her speech, the electricity went off. I figured that it was a local Republican plot engineered by Doug Lamborn, but that would be giving him far too much credit in planning and initiative... So I went next door, where my neighbor had lit candles and had a battery powered radio. We didn't make s'mores, but I was happy to get a bottle of cold water...

Hillary was still speaking when the power came back on and the cable had cycled back on. Given the reaction to the convention as a whole, it should be a done deal to elect our first woman president. But there is this nagging in the back of my head, warning me about the power of negativity, how it's so much easier to take things apart and smash things than build something, especially if you want a consensus before moving on...

If Hillary can fulfill one or two of her progressive promises, it will be a minor miracle, unless more Democrats win in the Senate and in the House, otherwise she will be banging her head against the wall as much as Obama did.

The Senate will be without the freshmen Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio. People say that Ted will be the front-runner in four years, but I think he will sink thankfully into obscurity while more moderate heads try and rebuild the Republican Party into something that doesn't resemble a riot at the insane asylum, warning, warning, the inmates have taken over...

Donald Trump tried to piss on her parade by tweeting up a storm, but was generally ignored... So, he took his wife's web site off of the internet. This way she sure won't screw up again, and he can control what she says from now on just like he has to control everything else in her life. Hope you got a good prenup Melania, because if Donald loses he will soon be divorcing you...

Well, on towards election twilight, where the candidates seem dimmer and less clear the more I contemplate them, ghosts of their rhetorical pasts, only brightened momentarily by a presidential debate. And really, someone needs to pry his cellphone from Donald's tiny, tiny hands, and cancel his tweet account. Let him start watching porn late at night like any normal 70 year old guy...

DNC Day 3: So You Wanna Revolution...

Well, you're not going to get it at the Democratic Convention, no matter how hard core a Bernie fan you are. Look kids, you have to learn how to work for the things you want to happen, you will get knocked back many times, many times it will seem hopeless, and by the time you are in your 70's it may seem that you accomplished very little. Hell, Bernie Sanders spent 25 years in Congress and accomplished very little, he was happier giving speeches than crafting legislature...

This convention has been the closest to a love-in as you can get these days, too bad the group from Colorado didn't bring enough bud for everyone. You may have noticed that on day one they stayed in their section when 4:20 in the afternoon rolled past... There may have been tension and booing, with Sara Silverman, of all people, telling them they were ridiculous... Actually, my favorite booing came when Leon Panetta spoke. I liked him as a Congressman, not so much as Secretary of Defense because he was over his head, and especially not as head of the CIA, which needs to be dismantled or at least no longer allowed to do covert operations... So I sat in my chair and laughed and booed along with them, go back to Monterrey, ya old clunker!!!!

Pundits agreed that until last night, Michelle Obama gave the best speech. During her pauses you could almost hear Melania Trump taking notes... Then, Barack Obama spoke. If you have access to something like YouTube, go and watch it. It was one of the best speeches I have ever heard, noted for its grace, lyricism, hope and warmth for how elegantly he passed the baton to Hillary. I had tears in my eyes and the last time that happened was during Obama's inaugural speech... One pundit on MSNBC said that in the 30 years he's been covering political conventions, he's only heard 4 good speeches, and Barack Obama has given them all... I'm a registered Republican, but Barack's speech has made me vote Democratic again, Donald Trump just doesn't have a big enough heart, and he certainly doesn't have the soul to match Obama, who is a better father than Trump, a better dresser than Trump, is more elegant than Trump, can tell a joke better than Trump, and is a better husband than Trump will ever be...

And when Hillary came out at the end of his speech, they hugged, and there was no booing, only cheers, and quite a few others had tears in their eyes, too. It was a beautiful hug, one that you wished for yourself, and I doubt if Hillary will be able to do better tonight on her own.

If her husband Bill, and Michelle and Barack can go around the country and campaign for her, she should easily win. The Republicans only have Mike Pense, who has a radio talk show host tone of voice and a very narrow vision of the world. Both Mike and Tim Kaine are Catholics, so it should be interesting to see how they bring their differing views of faith into a debate.

Anyway, I was surprised that I have been enjoying the Democratic convention as much as I have, and I think it's because the organizers planned for it to be on a more positive note, and more inclusive. It is the kind of political convention that you are proud for people in other countries to see, how a democracy is supposed to work, and thank god there have been no Duck Dynasty guys or Scott Baio's cluttering up the stage. This may have been the un-grumpiest post I have ever done, I will try to get back in form. I just need to read about world politics to get pleasantly pissed off, and a couple of days after this convention...

DNC Day 2: Bill Clinton Rocks

It usually takes me a few days to soak in what I've experienced, I no longer like to jump right into the fray and thrash about, trying to embarrass someone in public and sometimes reduce them to tears. Sorry about that, Larry, you're really not as dumb as I said you were...

I admire the intensity of the Bernie supporters, I might be one if I was in my 20's again. I remember talking to a college student about 16 years ago, and he asked me if I had ever protested the Vietnam War. He thought I was lucky to have a real situation like a war to protest, when his generation had nothing... of course I told him to wait a few years and our leaders would find somewhere to go to war so he could protest... And here we are bogged down in the Middle East, in a never-ending war... yet people are protesting that Bernie Sanders lost in the primaries as a candidate for president... seems this generation has a skewed sense of outrage and anger, I wonder if their parents are the ones expressing conservative outrage, dancing around and shouting "lock her up!" ... maybe the two groups could face off in an MMA octagon cage, it might make Mike Pense and Tim Cain look less boring... the match I'd really like to see, of course, is The Donald squaring off against Elizabeth Warren,,,

I'm still waiting for the Democrats to bring on a real stand-up comedian, someone really vicious and nasty like Anthony Jeselnik or Jeff Ross...

Ohhhhh, I have been rambling, time for my afternoon meds... Bill Clinton gave the best speech of Day 2, it was sweet and gave insight into the woman he married, and listed a lot of early accomplishments that many people may not have known about. It seems that Hillary needs to brag more often, because it was an impressive list consistently helping women and children's health and legal access... When her staff talks, they often ignore the elephant in the room, what will they do with Bill after Hillary gets elected? Gonna have to give him some supervision, can't let him wander off to get into trouble, can't assign him an intern, and it's never been done before, giving a former president another job at the White House... Just like we could give Donald Trump the permanent job of going around giving speeches on how he's making America great again, maybe book him with someone like Jeff Ross, call it the Great American Insult Tour, admission free, don't forget to strap on your guns for safety and protection... everyone can win and have a place to be expressive, except for Ted Cruz...

DNC Day 1

Ok, I got to watch all of the speeches, and they were more positive than negative. Bernie Sanders gave a speech that tried to persuade his delegates to vote for Hillary. Better speeches were given by Cory Booker, Michelle Obama, and Elizabeth Warren...

Other than that, I don't have any criticisms, which I thought I would, and I'm pleasantly surprised. If the rest of the convention is like this, I'll be feeling all warm and fuzzy by the time Hillary Clinton gives her acceptance speech...

From Russia to the DNC With Love

Wow, the Democratic National Convention begins tonight and I'm not ready for it. I'm exhausted emotionally from my visit to Mordor at the RNC convention and all of the violence that has happened over the weekend in Germany, Afghanistan, and Florida. When I said that it was gong to be a hot, violent Summer, I didn't really mean it, just a turn of the phrase. Let's now predict that the rest of the Summer will be spent in more peaceful pursuits, with those angry individuals seeking help instead of acting out their dark fantasies...

We have a couple of my sister's grandkids coming to visit, so I many not make it to the television, may have to view it on this tiny laptop... I also thought that the DNC would be a lot more boring, but it seems that already my assumption has proven wrong! Russia has been spying on the Democratic Party, along with the State Department and the Pentagon. One Russian intelligence group has been sneaking through files over a year and was just discovered three months ago, which kinda makes Hillary Clinton smart for using her own private servers, that were evidently harder to hack into that the US government, which has been no secret among hackers. She was just following the lead of former heads of the State Department, Condoleeza Rice and Colin Powell, both Republicans who have not been investigated and who both had their own private servers... The simplest way to protect files is to take the servers that they are stored on and put them offline. Otherwise, any computer that is hooked up to a network can be hacked, the flaw is in the nature of the design...

Anyway, the weekend before the Democratic convention WikiLeaks published over 3000 emails that were on their server, embarrassing top Democratic officials and causing the Democratic Party chairperson to resign. The conspiracy theory is that Vladimir Putin himself ordered the publishing of the documents because:

1) it's payback for the US's involvement in getting Russia's athletes banned from the Rio Olympics and exposing the long lasting Russian doping program sponsored by Putin's government, or

2) he is trying to mess up and influence the American election, skew the election in favor of his mini-me, Donald Trump. Perhaps Vladimir is using Melania Trump to send coded messages disguised as fashion advice... Perhaps someone should recheck her convention speech to see if there isn't some plagarism from Das Capital...

The other conspiracy theory going around is the incredibly paranoid vision of Turkey's president-for-life-in-his-dreams, Recep Erdogan, blaming the recent failed military coup on an old friend who has been living in Pennsylvania since 1999... OK, so maybe this guy has a sinister dark side and plays puppet master through all of his schools and businesses, many which are in Turkey. Or maybe he just thinks that Erdogan has taken one toke over the line and he is criticizing him for the increasing autocratic way Erdogan is ruling Turkey these days. He did declare martial law for three months, giving his police special powers to arrest and interrogate without an ok from a judge, and the Turkish police can now come into your house to search it and take your valuables as "evidence," just like the US soldiers did in Iraq... Yes, he's trying to get rid of as many journalists as he can. canceling their credentials, or, if they are Turkish, having them fired... It's time for someone to hit him with a stick, much like the Buddhists do in group meditation, and bring him back to a sane consciousness...

The US and Turkey have an extradition treaty, so we could give Fethullah Gulen to Turkey, the Justice department has said give us your evidence, but so far Turkey has squat. Erdogan's personal spokesman wrote an article for the opinion page of the New York Times, where he tried to squash the rumor that Erdogan himself planned the attempted coup in order to get more power and to purge all followers of his old friend Mr. Gulen. The half-assed way that the coup played out suggested that it was planned by some amateur who just so happened was staying at a party house on the Turkish Riviera. His schill stated that "The claim that this was a fake coup is no more credible than the laughable  claim that the 9/11 attacks were coordinated by the United States"... Hmmmm, maybe they know something that we don't. Maybe it's time to reopen the 9/11 cases, just to point out all of the mistakes and mis-directions used with the  given evidence, and to put George W Bush on trial for getting us into a false war based on his desire to do one better than his daddy...

On to the convention! Oh what surprises will the Bernie Sanders supporters bring? Nothing as much fun as Vladimir and Recep bring us, but we are carrying a big basket, and there's always room for a few more bad eggs...

What Ailes Fox News, Trump's Red Wedding Speech

We begin with an aside that may affect Fox News for the future of right wing partisan reporting: Roger Ailes has been escorted from the building. One day he was roaming the building, trying to get the news hosts to say something supportive about him on the air. The next day he wasn't allowed into the building, not even to go into his office with an empty box... He was one of the most powerful men in the industry, too bad he tried to use that power to get blowjobs...

Then, 85 year old Rupert Murdoch said that he would step in and run Fox News until he could find a replacement, or he passes away, whichever comes first... Both Bill O'Reilly and Shawn Hannity have said publically that they too would reign if Roger was forced to retire. Let's see if they are men of their words or if they were just trying to line up outside of Roger's office, puckering and moistening their lips...



Onto the convention, where Ivana Trump gave the nicest speech of the convention. If Donald Trump gets elected, he will need people to run his office on a day to day basis, while he is off trying to make America great again. Let's hope that he uses all of the women in his family to fill in the gaps, as they seem more humane and empathetic than The Donald. Plus, there would be Michelle Obama serving as an advisor...

I actually sat through all 90 minutes of The Donald's speech. He was very angry through the whole thing, maybe because he was forced to read off of the teleprompter, and had a very red face, not due to make up and tanning beds. I wondered if he might have a heart attack after twenty minutes of rant, keel over and die, solving the problem of having an upstart outsider as the Republican candidate...

But he made it through, deflated a couple of sizes afterwards. He made lots of promises, all for you the people, but if enacted would lead us to a fascist military state, where we have to give up our personal freedoms but get to keep our guns...

Next week will be the Democratic Convention, and already I know that t will be boring in contrast, because there will be no Hillary bashing. Oh, they will try to bash Donald Trump, but the only way to get under his skin is to make jokes about him. If they do four nights of stand-up comedy, it will be more clever and incisive than having a bunch of serious political speeches. Make sure that Elizabeth Warren tweets throughout, it will drive him nuts because he will have to fight back against every slight, imagined or real. Can you imagine if the Democrats bash back and are just as mean spirited as the Republican speakers, it would show the total dysfunction of our elected officials. Personally, I would like it if Barack Obama would lead for 8 more years, just to see the crazy republican base go fucking nuts and begin to eat their young...