Friday, June 10, 2011

Newt Implodes, Gate's Farewell Tour, No New Jobs Yet...

Barak Ravid
Jeff Madrick
"Democrats in Congress have been distancing themselves from the Anthony Weiner scandal. Just to be safe, everyone is staying a good 6 to 8 inches away at all times." – Jimmy Fallon

"There has been growing pressure for Anthony Weiner to resign. When asked for a comment, Weiner said, "Look, I'm not leaving ... but I am packing." – Jimmy Fallon

"A new study found that being bored can be good for your brain. Which explains that new campaign slogan, 'Mitt Romney: I'm Good For Your Brain.'" – Jimmy Fallon

Barak Ravid reports in Haaretz on Israel's plans to counter the Palestinian approach to the UN in September, and asking to be recognized as a separate state: "Israel has started mobilizing its embassies for the battle against UN recognition of a Palestinian state in September, ordering its diplomats to convey that this would delegitimize Israel and foil any chance for future peace talks.


Envoys are being asked to lobby the highest possible officials in their countries of service, muster support from local Jewish communities, ply the media with articles arguing against recognition and even ask for a call or quick visit from a top Israeli official if they think it would help." Hey kids, here's a great project, write in and get an Israeli official to come to your school next Fall... I'm not sure how they can effectively make either argument, but as long as they have a right wing majority in charge, their arguments will turn out to be pretty lame, and even a sixth-grader can argue against them. Maybe we can send over our top intellectuals like Newt Gingrich to come up with a winning strategy. Wait, the participants of the peace negotiations already walked out of those meetings? Well, scratch Newt, how about Rick Santorum, all they have to do is google the word santorum...

Robert Gates is on his farewell tour of Europe, and: "said today in Brussels that NATO isn't pulling its weight in Afghanistan and Libya. Without more support from Europe, he said, NATO's future is 'dim if not dismal.'" If NATO would show more leadership, we wouldn't have to pull them by their noses into every new war we create, they'd know enough to lead us into the quagmire, for a change. The practice run is in Libya, and so far all progress has bogged down, leaving unexploded bombs lacing the streets of Tripoli and Benghazi...

Ironically, both NATO and the UN were seen as anachronistic dinosaurs, ready to be put into mothballs, until George W Bush decided to use them to create his coalition of the willing. And if they can gain global prominence once again, we can happily and blindly follow them into the next hellholes that are Syria, Iran, and North Korea... If only the predatory banks would give Egypt a chance to grow its economy and stabilize its government instead of priming it to hand over to the military, then Turkey wouldn't be so alone in the region. Turkey will have a national election this Sunday, and there probably won't be any surprises; the current government and prime minister will extend its mandate... Depends on how many Syrian refugees they can accept... It used to be that Turkey was begging to get into the European Union. Now, with Turkey's economic success outperforming the EU, it looks like the EU may come begging for Turkey to join, which they'd be wise to decline...


Pundits in the media are beginning to wake up and realize that, despite all of the promises from both political parties, jobs have not magically materialized and our economy is still in a recession. A lot of promises were made, yet the need for new jobs somehow got twisted into the need to make budget cuts. Make sure to ask your next campaigning republican how cutting the budget will create jobs, wouldn't we actually have to cut more government jobs instead? The answer is yes, we will, but government jobs don't count because the less government we have the better. Don't think of those people as real, with children to feed houses to pay for, think of them in pure idealistic form, like some badly written character from an Ayn Rand novel...

So far this electoral season we've had twittering penis scandals, the tail end of the Ensign sex scandals, the imploding Newt scandal (instead of the declaration "let them eat cake" its "let them take a cruise to the Greek isles," and "doesn't everyone have a $500,000 revolving credit at Tiffany's?"). I'm looking forward to the upcoming CNN debates. Do you think Mit Romney will be taken to task for his predatory banking habits, of buying companies, then grooming them to sell, so they'd go bankrupt after he made his money off of their sale? Or will they all be too busy sucking up to the tea party elements to come up with an original and thoughtful answer to any question? Perhaps we could provide them with some complimentary weiners before the debate, then it wouldn't sound like the Newt Testament, what with all of the gagging and all...






























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