David Letterman's "Top Ten Ways Barack Obama Can Boost His Popularity With Younger Voters"
10. Refer to himself as the Chillaxer-in-Chief
9. Limit speeches to 140 characters or less
8. Broadcast all Oval Office addresses in 3D
7. Replace Rahm Emanuel with a hunky, brooding vampire
6. Trade in Air Force One for rocket-powered Obama-cycle
5. Answer tough questions with "Whatevs"
4. Change name to Bajustin Obieber
3. Refer to his abdominal muscles as "The Administration"
2. Check into rehab, go to prison, check back into rehab, go back to prison, check back into rehab
1. Join Team Coco
Iraq almost got a new government, with the Shias joining together with the followers of al-Sadr. Nuri al-Maliki couldn't wait, he issued an announcement that he was going to be the next Prime Minister. Of course, like so many tribal coalitions, it may go South at any moment... If the Shias do form a government on their own, leaving the Kurds and Sunnis out, there will be more sectarian violence, and they won't be able to blame it all on al-Qaeda...
It is in Israel's best interest to stall and drag any talks out, because they have to give up land and resources. Because they will only do this grudgingly, they will create ill will no matter what is negotiated. Instead of having a Palestinian state that works with Israel, creating economic ties and partnerships that benefits everyone, they will have a Palestinian state that they will consider an enemy, and find ways to punish and provoke them. Instead of creating lasting ties and friendships, Israel will further isolate itself and sink further into paranoia, dragging many American Jews into their madness. Already there are pundits like the Denver Post's David Harsayi asking: "Where, for instance, are complaints from the 80 percent of American Jews who support a president who actively pressures Israel into agreements that threaten her existence, and at the same time bows to robed princes and pleads for the friendship of the most illiberal nations in the world?" So, instead of looking for solutions that are equitable for both parties, and we are looking to force Israel into agreements that threaten her existence, perhaps we should let sleeping dogs lie, and let Israel and Palestine resolve this at their own pace. And we could stop sending Israel foreign aid and selling them military technology, since they don't need our help anymore...
Good thing the mid-term election is only a few weeks away. Any more time and all of the tea party candidates would surely hang themselves, given the amount of rope provided to them. Notice how their main strategy is to keep away from reporters and television cameras? That's because if left alone in front of a camera and someone asking them questions, they can't help but give squirrely answers, thereby giving fuel to their more sane opponents and late night comedians. At least that's what the Denver Post has reported about Ken Buck, and I notice it taking place in Arizona, California, Nevada, Texas, Kentucky, Delaware, have I missed any? Gone are the days when we only looked to Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin to fill us with loopy delight. I don't know what I am going to do afterwards... Not much fun on television tonight, so I'm going to sit down with a mystery written by Martin Cruz Smith. For over 30 years he has written the Arkady Renko novels, set in Russia. The first one, Gorky Park, was made into a movie that was a fine as the book. I will light some incense, have a cup of tea, smoke an Ashton cigar, and travel to Moscow and the seedy delights that await me in the Three Stations...