"The Republicans are the only ones standing between you and reform." - John Boehner
"Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late." – David Letterman
"Rich Iott, the Republican nominee and Tea Party-backed candidate for Congress in Ohio, has admitted that he dressed up in a Nazi uniform for a Nazi reenactment. He said he was just following orders. His campaign slogan: 'In your heart you know he's Reich.''' – Jay Leno
David Letterman's "Top Ten Entries On Barack Obama's Enemies List"
10. Smug know-it-all at Apple Genius Bar
9. 'General Hospital's' Patrick for cheating on Robin with Lisa
8. Secretary who answers the phone, 'Yell-o?'
7. 'Late Show' audio technician Tom Herrmann
6. Those Chilean miners . . . You're trapped, we get it
5. Online store that still hasn't delivered his Captain Kirk chair
4. Anyone who doesn't think 'Glee' makes your spirit soar
3. Drugstores that don't carry Topol, the smoker's tooth polish
2. Late night talk show hosts who deliver lame top ten lists at his expense
1. Bastard who lost his birth certificate
The best story of the week is the successful rescue of 33 Chilean miners who had been trapped for over 2 months at a depth of 2000 feet below the surface. I got very emotional and laughed and cried along with the families as I saw the miners brought to the surface. And the Chilean government showed the whole world how to do it all the right way, from keeping the miners healthy, their spirits strong, and letting them know that the country was rooting for them along with their loved ones and families. The rescue took 22 hours and 39 minutes, and the person who hugged every one of them the most was the president of Chile. The drill operator was from Colorado, and NASA designed the capsule that brought the miners up from the deep. They will each get a few days to bask in the glory of being alive, then must make the decision if they will go back into a mine again. And it could be worse, it could be a coal mine that often produces toxic gases. My advice will be, don't move to West Virginia...
Jim Allen, spokesman for the Chicago Board of Elections, told the Sun-Times he expects 90% of votes on election day to be cast on paper ballots -- minimizing the number of voters who would see the misspelling.
"I don't want to be identified as 'Whitey.' If this is happening in primarily African-American wards, that's an even bigger concern," Whitney told the Sun-Times. The paper says he's considering legal action. "I don't know if this is machine politics at play or why this happened." Here the poor guy is polling only 2% of the vote, and on election day a lot of black folks will have the opportunity to vote for a rich whitey. Oh, to be a fly on the wall in those polling places, or better yet, to film folks as they leave the voting booths... The only thing worse is if the guy's real name is Tidy Whitey... I don't see how alternative parties will ever build up a constituency if subversions like this keeps on happening.