EJ Dionne Jr
"I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it." - George Carlin
"By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth." - George Carlin
"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things." - George Carlin
"Sarah was being held in solitary confinement despite suffering from a pre-cancerous cervical condition, a lump in her breast and depression." Sarah should be checked out to see if she has been exposed to radiation while she was incarcerated, the signs of cancer that she developed seems suspicious, or maybe her Iranian jailers took to irradiating her vegetables instead of washing them... If her companions, Shane and Josh, also develop tumors, then they may have taken part in Iran's nuclear development program without knowing it...
Shafaii, Shourd's lawyer, said: "Sarah is extremely happy about her release but she urged me to help her two co-accused who are still in Evin prison."The head of NATO went to the American military, complaining that Iran now has the rocket capacity to reach parts of Europe, and came away with millions of dollars and the promise that the American military will continue to set up a missile defense shield around Europe... I wonder how much I can get if I tell them that Tom Tancredo can see my house from his front porch...?
Microsoft did an about face today, after the NY Times publicized their involvement with the Russian government's harassing of environmental groups, human rights groups, and opposition politicians, by agreeing to prosecute them for having pirated computer software, even if was proved that they owned licensed copies. Microsoft announced that they will no longer seek to prosecute the groups, and will issue blanket licenses to them for free. The dastardly lawyers they had hired may no longer have a job, or at least they can go back to working publicly for Mr Putin and his minions. This puts to rest the rumors that Melinda has been wandering the halls in period dress, saying "Anastasia! My name is Anastasia!" It does add to the rumors that I'm making up that Bill still runs around those same halls, wearing his red cape, and shouting: "For truth, justice, and the American way... Look up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane, no... it's Bill Gates!"
"The latest example comes in an interview with the conservative Web site National Review Online. Unsurprisingly, he was criticizing President Obama. Bizarrely, according to the Web site, he said the following: "What if [Obama] is so outside our comprehension, that only if you understand Kenyan, anti-colonial behavior, can you begin to piece together [his actions]?" According to Newt, this is "the most accurate, predictive model" for the president's actions, or policies or something.
What in the world is "Kenyan, anti-colonial behavior" supposed to mean? That Obama is waging a secret campaign to free us from the yoke of British oppression?
In fairness to Gingrich, he wasn't being original. He was speaking in praise of a big gob of gibberish in Forbes by conservative "intellectual" Dinesh D'Souza. In the piece -- much of it strikingly lazy -- D'Souza argues that Obama somehow absorbed a fully elaborated, frozen-in-time, anti-colonial worldview from his Kenyan father. Who left the family when the future president was 2."