Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Medvedev on Mid East Peace, Audit the Fed 96-0

Nancy Koehn
Dana Milbank
Benjamin Sarlin

Another Spring day at 7000 ft above sea level in the Rockies - it's cold enough to snow outside and it looks like it could begin snowing at any minute. We also expect to see a tornado or two come roaring across the plains from Kansas, I have never seen one so I am excited. The weather service is predicting a long, heavy hurricane season this year, lasting from July through October, with six storms hitting the US. And I've been getting a craving for shrimp...

Before I comment on the news, there was this little gem about David Berkowitz, otherwise known as the Son of Sam serial killer. In prison he has joined the religious group Jews for Jesus and changed his nickname to Son of Hope...

In a rather bizarre announcement, Russian President Dmitry Medvedev said that the US needs to get more directly involved in the Middle East talks while visiting Syria: "In essence, the Middle East peace process has deteriorated," Medvedev said, speaking alongside Bashar al-Assad, his Syrian counterpart, after two days of talks on the first visit to Damascus by a Russian head of state. "The situation is very, very bad. It's time to do something. I agree with President Assad, the American side could take a more active position." Medvedev also met with the leader of Hamas, and urged him to stop screwing around and negotiate the release of the Israeli soldier Gilad Shalit. It would be seen as a sign of good faith instead of a trophy to rub in front of the Israeli collective noses...

Medvedev favors an independent Palestinian state that can coexist peacefully with Israel, and Syria is interested in Russia's help in building a civilian nuclear power plant. Medvedev is going on to Turkey next, which is having strained relations with Israel, Armenia, and the Kurds within its borders. The next move is to send Bill Clinton over to help with George Mitchell transform the indirect talks into serious face time... Of course, Israel's biggest problem is its right wingers and Benjamin Netanyahu, who dislikes Americans and anyone else who is interested in the Palestinians getting a semblance of a fair deal. He is responsible for Israel's increasing isolation and lack of friends. In fact, Benji went before the TV cameras and said that Israel seeks peace, that it really is big bad Iran who is being hysterical and calling for war. This man is setting international diplomacy back to the last century...

Now that the Federal Reserve will get audited over the bailout payoffs, in a rare 96-0 vote, it will be interesting and enlightening to find out where the money went, and what the Fed didn't want us to know. I just love it when government secrets come to light. It usually means that they made some dreadful mistakes and don't want us to know about how incompetent they were. Same can be said of the major Wall Street firms, and the oil guys from BP, all pointing their fingers at everyone else before Congress and saying that they weren't responsible for the damned oil spill. In the meantime, if anyone has a good idea about how to cap the well and clean up the mess, please go ahead and make your ideas known. BP certainly hasn't any clue, they are guessing right now, too. Looks like it will be a long, long time before I get my fresh shrimp... I was reading up on the Kagen nomination for the Supreme Court, but found it all too boring. If I have to watch that whiny bitch Jeff Sessions ramble on incoherently during the hearings, I don't know what I'll do, I'm not prepared for the pain and humiliation... Next, we start televising the Supreme Court sessions. Not that I'm pitching for CSPAN, but it would be instructive to have a digital archive of their deliberations, and who is trying to browbeat whom during them. Let's just say that a certain Chief Justice thinks that he is smarter and slicker than the rest and often tries his smarmy best to dump on the lawyers presenting their cases to the court. Obama wants someone who can cancel his influence, but I don't think that Ms Kagen is the right choice for that, though she is a good choice...

Some late night political jokes:

"How about that Times Square bomber? Now, I'm no genius, but this guy left his house keys in the bomb car. It was the one flaw in an otherwise perfect crime." –David Letterman

"But there is some good news for Faisal Shahzad. Today he was told that he made the Taliban blooper real." –David Letterman

"The stock market took a dive today. It was so bad, Goldman Sachs had to lay off three congressmen." –Jay Leno

"Greece has a national debt that is so large, they can never pay it back. Well, thank God that can never happen here." –Jay Leno

"British Petroleum says they're going to try and stop that huge oil leak in the 'Gulf of Texaco', as I call it. They're going to put a big box over the leak. I mean, who came up with this, Wile E. Coyote?" –Jay Leno

"And to protest Arizona's tough new immigration law, a lot of people now boycotting products made in that state. This could cripple the bolo tie industry." –Jay Leno

"Is that a good idea? Boycotting products made in Arizona? I can't find any products made in America. Forget Arizona." –Jay Leno

"The good news is the Border Patrol has finally come up with a way to stop the illegal immigration. They're going to hire security guards from the Phillies game to just taser people as they come through." –Jay Leno

"Well, as a result of the Times Square bomber, there is a new policy regarding the no-fly list. They're actually going to start reading them now." –Jay Leno

"Well, this Faisal Shahzad managed to get on the plane because the airline workers used an out of date do not fly list. But the good news? There is no way Lee Harvey Oswald was getting on that plane, I'll tell you that." –Jay Leno

"I just heard this about the Times Square bomber. The suspect says he left a getaway car near Times Square but was unable to use it on Saturday because he left the keys in the Pathfinder. That had to be a weird call to OnStar, right? 'Hello, OnStar. What is your emergency?' 'Oh, man, you are not going to believe this. So, I'm trying to blow up Times Square, right? I am in such a hurry to escape I totally locked the keys in my car. It's just one of those days.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"More news out of New York. The new Broadway play about Enron didn't get any major Tony nominations and will lose $4 million when it closes on Sunday. In other words, it was a major success compared to the real Enron." –Jimmy Fallon

"Hey, it turns out the prime suspect in the failed attempt to bomb Times Square is not the brightest. They figured out the events leading up to Saturday. First, Faisal Shahzad buys an SUV off Craigslist, using a traceable email, and fills it with, basically, wedding sparklers. Then he drives two different cars into New York — the one with the bomb in it and a getaway car. He plants the bomb but leaves the keys to the getaway car in the car with the bomb in it. So he has to take the subway home. And then, once he gets home, he realizes he also left the key to his apartment in the SUV with the bomb in it, and has to get his landlord to let him in. If this isn't the work of a stoner, I don't know what is." –Jimmy Kimmel

"We should probably let him out and go join the Taliban. He could destroy them from within." –Jimmy Kimmel

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