"And the world-renowned physicist, Stephen Hawking, you know that guy? He says in his documentary, aliens do exist, but he says it's best we do not try to interact with them. In fact, he's against giving them driver's licenses." – Jay Leno
"Well, as you know, Arizona has passed the strictest immigration law in the country, and in response, the mayor of San Francisco is pushing for a boycott of the state of Arizona. This could be devastating to gay rodeos." – Jay Leno
He is in Iran studying to become an Ayatollah, and has plans to make Iraq into a monotheistic state similar to Iran. He is in the process of purging the bad elements out of his private army, and will soon unveil the new version as protectors of the poor, the defenseless, and as the glue that can bind together all elements of Iraqi society. After all, there will be another vacuum to fill once the US military leaves. When all things are put into place, mysteriously, the number of suicide bombs will be reduced, the people will rejoice, the new Caliphate established, and new statues will be built in his honor to be placed in all of the old palaces which will soon become his. Oh, it will be good to be King... not bad for a plump kid who kinda looks like Orson Wells...
Green Tea Party a'brewing, only instead of revering a constitution, they are clamoring for Mao's Little Red Book. Yes, there is a cry to return to Maoism in China, because of the threat that Capitalism has created for their country. Change is happening just too fast for these oldsters, and a firm hand must be taken to guide China back onto the glorious path, now that's Revolution We Can Believe In...
The Greeks, it seems, are having some difficulties adjusting to their new austerity program. Here they are getting all fired up:
Jack Abramoff will be getting out of jail this coming December, just in time to get newly acquainted with the fresh crop of GOP Congresspeople, who will be elected elected in November. That's right, a new crop of ponies to bet on... I wonder if Scott McInnis, who is a Republican candidate for Governor Of Colorado, will be wooed by ol' Jack. I was thinking of voting for Scott until he made the remarks about his desire to create a similar anti-immigration law for Colorado, and I realized just what a big douche bag he really is. Also, his makeover makes him look more creepy, especially the dyed hair; almost as bad as Governor Schwartzenegger, not to mention being permanently out of focus...
Finally, bottles of liquid Children's Tylenol has been recalled. If you have any of these products in your medicine cabinet, get rid of them until the coast is clear: "A unit of Johnson & Johnson has voluntarily begun a recall of certain children’s over-the-counter liquid medicines because of manufacturing deficiencies, the Food and Drug Administration said on Saturday.
The deficiencies may affect the potency, purity or quality of the products, the agency said in a statement.
Consumers should stop using certain lots of infants’ and children’s Tylenol, Motrin, Zyrtec and Benadryl products because some of them may contain more of the active drug ingredient than specified, the Johnson & Johnson unit, McNeil Consumer Healthcare, said in a statement late Friday. Other products involved in the recall may contain foreign particles or inactive ingredients that may not meet testing requirements, the company said.
“The particles may be solidified product ingredients or manufacturing residue such as tiny metal specks,” Marc Boston, a McNeil spokesman, said on Saturday."