Thursday, September 24, 2009

New Jersey Nyets, Kentucky Fed Hunters

Dana Milbank
David Ignatius
Joe Klein

Sorry this blog is late today, I spent the morning at the doctor's getting an injection of steroids into my spine. My first time, I hope it gets rid of some of the pain...

The basketball team New Jersey Nets have just been bought by a 6' 6" Russian billionaire. He bought 80% interest in the team, and also is putting in money for a stadium in Brooklyn, where the team is proposing to relocate: "According to the agreement, entities to be formed by Onexim Group will invest $200 million and make certain funding commitments to acquire 80 percent of the NBA team, 45 percent of the arena project and the right to purchase up to 20 percent of the Atlantic Yards Development Company, which will develop the non-arena real estate.

The NBA will review the proposal, and the deal must be approved by three-quarters of the NBA's board of governors." Perhaps he will rename the cheerleaders the Putinettes... This is a first, having a foreign owner, and it can do more to cement friendship between the two countries than any nuclear non-proliferation agreement could.

So far the spin in the American press is all positive, after all, who doesn't like lots of new money? The only whining is being done in Russia: "... some Russian legislators and analysts call it a blow to the nation's sports. "I can't consider this action as anything other than unpatriotic," Aslambek Aslakhanov, a member of the upper parliament chamber's sports committee, said Thursday, according to the state news agency RIA Novosti. "We also have talented children here, but sports isn't being developed. They're not trying in order for us to return to our former sports ranking of best in the world."

The collapse of the Soviet-era "Big Red Machine" that was a dominating force in Olympic Games has rankled many Russians, but the sports prowess has surged in recent years with an array of top tennis players and the recent victory in the World Ice Hockey Championships." I'll save you the quotes saying that he is doing a disservice to the Fatherland, and other old school think-speak...

Club Fed...
Here is a creepy story that is getting all out of control, depending on what news site you go to. According to the Associated Press, a Federal Census worker was found hung from a tree in rural Kentucky, with the word FED written on his chest. You can bet that it was not done with a Sharpie...

The census guy was one of those upbeat, do-gooder types who moved to Kentucky to work with the local Boy Scouts. He had been warned more than once to be careful where he went by a retired deputy. Do ya think that there are some people making money from an alternative economy here? Does a meth lab explode in the forest???

The more liberal sites tout this as an example of tea partyism gone wrong, of rural folks living in the hollows with their only link to the world being Fox News, kinda like rural Pakistan or Sudan. No doubt that there is distrust for Federal employees here, but it has its history with generations of smugglers and moonshine distilleries in the backwoods, updated with the Dixie Mafia in more modern times. And it was just some dumb peckerwood who is too ornery to care to differentiate between a revenoor and a census taker. Besides, its a lot easier stringing up an unarmed 53 year old than it will be when the posse of FBI, state troopers, and maybe DEA, that even now is in pursuit...

late night jokes:

"Now, be honest, ladies and gentlemen. How many of you are here because you couldn't get into the U.N.?" --David Letterman

"And then the Iranian dictator Mahmoud Ahmadinejad gave a hate speech and I thought to myself, where's that 'you lie' guy when you need him?" --David Letterman

"Hey, listen to this. You know the former governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin? Boy, I know her. She's traveling all over the world now, speaking gigs. And she went to Hong Kong and gave a speech and people who heard the speech said it was articulate, it was well-prepared, it was compelling. It's a year late, but …" --David Letterman

"And if it was that good I'm thinking it must have been Tina Fey." --David Letterman

"They paid her $300,000 for the speech, the Chinese, $300,000 for the speech. I guess she apparently could see the cash from her house." --David Letterman

"In a new interview, conservative talk show host Glenn Beck called John McCain a 'weird progressive, like Teddy Roosevelt.' In response, McCain said, 'That's funny. That's what Teddy used to call me.'" --Conan O'Brien

"President Barack Obama addressed the U.N. General Assembly today. His opening line was, 'Some of you may recognize me from my appearances on television.'" --Jay Leno

"Actually, in his first eight months in office, President Obama has made four times as many TV appearances as President Bush. Experts say if Obama continues at this rate, next week he will eclipse Regis." --Jay Leno

"And Iranian leader Mahmoud I'm-a-nut-job, he's in New York this week. Boy, he's really grumpy. I guess the movie on the flight over from Iran was 'Schindler's List.' And he just didn't like that." --Jay Leno

"And Libyan leader Moammar Qaddafi-duck, this moron, was at the U.N. today. He talked forever. He talked on Israel and the swine flu and the JFK assassination. Where was Kanye West to grab the microphone away?" --Jay Leno

"He talked so long, even Joe Biden went, 'Enough!'" --Jay Leno

"Well, I'm sure you heard about this story. Officials have charged three men born in Afghanistan in this terror probe. An official says much of the evidence gathered was suggestive of a plot to attack buses or trains. How scary is that? Imagine terrorists being able to blow up an Amtrak train before it has a chance to run off the embankment on its own." --Jay Leno

"Anyway, this terror suspect who was arrested in Colorado that was charged with detailed plans on how to make the bomb - here's my favorite part. The guy said he downloaded the plans to make the bomb off the Internet by mistake. Oh, shut up, that's the porn excuse! Wives don't even buy that! Shut up!" --Jay Leno

"And according to a front page story in the LA Times, the CIA is deploying teams of spies, analysts, and paramilitary operatives to Afghanistan as part of a broad intelligence search. They said this should catch the Taliban by surprise, unless, of course, they happen to see the front page of the L.A. Times." --Jay Leno

And Sarah Palin gave a speech today in Hong Kong. She was very tough on President Obama. She attacked President Obama on foreign soil. Well, I'm sure the people that went after the Dixie Chicks will be going after her right now." --Jay Leno

"Some good gossip. There's a new book out about Barack and Michelle Obama's marriage. And in it, they say that Michelle Obama was very upset by all these drooling blonds who would push up to her husband and rub themselves up against him. They said this. One blonde was especially suggestive and kept rubbing up against the President. And finally, Michelle said, 'Look, Chris Matthews, get away from my husband.'" --Jay Leno

"Today, President Obama met with Japanese Prime Minister Yukio Hatoyama, or as President Bush called him, 'Mr. Miyagi.' The Japanese prime minister wanted to thank Obama for all of the money that Japan got from the 'Cash for Clunkers' program." --Jimmy Fallon

"The Obama's have been very busy. Tonight, they hosted an evening reception for world leaders at the Waldorf-Astoria in New York. The party was going great until Hugo Chavez started doing karaoke." --Jimmy Fallon

"In a speech to the Clinton Global Initiative yesterday, President Obama thanked Bill Clinton for the extraordinary difference he has made since leaving the White House. Clinton then stood up and thanked President Obama for keeping Hillary so busy." --Jimmy Fallon

"Vice President Joe Biden spoke at a retirement home in Maryland today to reassure senior citizens about health-care reform. The seniors didn't really care what Biden said in the speech, they were just happy to outlive it." --Jimmy Fallon

"Libya's President Muammar Qaddafi gave a lengthy tirade to the U.N. General Assembly today. He was supposed to talk for 15 minutes but went on a 90-minute rant instead. I mean, where is Kanye when you need him?" --Jimmy Fallon

"A pharmaceutical company is developing a microchip to be implanted in patients' shoulders that remind them to take their medication. That's just what crazy people on drugs need, right, a voice talking to them out of their shoulder?" --Jimmy Fallon

"I read this in Time magazine. Former presidential candidate Ralph Nader said that President Obama was 'weak, waffling and wavering.' And then Nader added: 'I do not like him in a house. I do not like him with a mouse.'" --Jimmy Fallon

No comments:

Post a Comment

Hi! Thanks for commenting. I always try to respond...