Putin's Spies, I Am the Walrus

what, me worried?

Of course, Vladimir Putin won re-election by the, surprise, surprise, margin of 75%, as he predicted. A spokeswoman for the Kremlin said that it showed how democracy has progressed in Russia, because during the Communist regime, the required turnout had to be 98 - 99% ... and please ignore those videos that show ballot boxes being stuffed, those are just hard working volunteers!

The fallout from Putin's attempting to assassinate an ex-KGB spy and his daughter with a military nerve gas and left for dead on a park bench in an English village, has incited the British government to expel known Russian spies, and sixteen other countries have also expelled over 140 "diplomats," 60 from the US. Leaving about 60 others to tread carefully on their way to Burger King or Panda Express... Just be lucky we didn't feed them from some rusted and dented cans of pork and beans...

Putin promised to turn the Russian economy around, probably by turning Crimea into one large pot farm, and marketing it to the US and Europe. Then we could nickname him Vlad the Inhaler... His critics will now be sent to the frontlines in Syria, with copies of proposed US gun legislation pasted to their foreheads...


Are you enjoying the Sean Hannity White House? Be glad that Donald Trump isn't addicted to

ready to plug those leaks, Mr. President

watching cartoons or Sesame Street... though he did just hire the Bolton Big Bird to help him come up with some hawkish moves. John Bolton was the Ted Cruz of the Bush administration, nobody liked him very much, and he was too loud and whiny. He never met a situation that couldn't be improved upon by bombing the crap out of it, and his sights are set on North Korea an Iran. Yes, he's a character straight out of Dr. Strangelove... Now, if only we could strap him to the first bomb we drop, ki-yo-yippee all the way...

Koo - Koo - Katchoo!