Economists say that with all this unrest, gas prices could rise to $5 a gallon. The good news is that instead of this money going to ruthless America-hating dictators, it will go to ruthless America-hating democracies." –Jay Leno
"The king of Saudi Arabia announced that he is giving his people $37 billion in subsidies and payments. It's not a stimulus package, it's a 'don't overthrow me' package." –Jay Leno
"George Clooney says he's had sex with too many women to ever run for office. He was immediately made Prime Minister of Italy." –Conan O'Brien
"A new poll shows that Donald Trump could beat President Obama in 2012. The poll was taken by Trump Polls International." –Conan O'Brien
"Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid says he wants to outlaw prostitution in his home state of Nevada. Prostitutes say they’re not going to take this lying down. For less than $50 bucks an hour." –Jimmy Fallon
The only other country to have used real bullets and killing its own people protesting was in Iraq. Guess we taught their military, police, and security forces well, we can be soooo proud of them! In fact, the most respected Ayatollah Sistani had to come out and make a public statement, asking the government to please listen to what the protesters are asking, and not to shoot them... Bombs were successfully planted in an oilfield, and may affect Iraq's ability to ship oil for export. Of course, it was blamed on the mythical al-Qaeda, instead of the faction in the government that is trying to shake down the Oil Ministry... Also noticed was the fact that over the weekend lots of news was generated over the Libyan atrocities, and the fact that we may never know how many people were shot and killed, while only a small paragraph was generated over the Iraq shootings. I guess 20 people count a lot less these days...
I also rant on about the runaway military budget, how quoting amounts of dollars in the billions has become so blase... If we took the amount of money that the Pentagon has requested for this year, we could balance the budget for all of the states and still have money left over...
“In my opinion, any future defense secretary who advises the president to again send a big American land army into Asia or into the Middle East or Africa should ‘have his head examined,’ as General MacArthur so delicately put it,” - Rober Gates