What's So Funny About Iran's Army Day of Peace, Love, and Understanding

Bono

I thought this was going to be a quiet weekend, watching the volcanic ash drifting along the slipstream, wondering if all of the fake anger has died down and I can enjoy a nice cup of afternoon tea. In the afternoons I prefer Iron Buddha, in the evenings I like something with mint and Chinese licorice in it to help with digestion. I was shocked and awed to see the incredible parade of military might that was displayed by Iran this morning! "To cries of "God is Great" Iran showed off its military might, warning potential aggressors that the Islamic state would vigorously repel any attack, state television reported.


Missiles, armored personnel carriers, unmanned surveillance aircraft and small submarines with men wearing aqua-lungs standing next to them were also part of the parade. Some carriers bore banners proclaiming "We will trample America under our feet". Man, ya gotta be impressed with those mini subs and guys in aqualungs! Yes there were anti-American signs! Yes, there was anti-Israeli speeches from Ahmadinejad! He also blamed all of their problems on the US! "The presence of foreign forces is the cause of conflict in our region. They must leave," he said, adding that Iran's military might was enough of a "deterrent" for any "enemy" of the Islamic republic." And just yesterday I thought Iran was hosting a summit focusing on peace, love, and understanding... Perhaps they were discouraged because only 6 out of 67 invited countries bothered to RSVP...

"They must leave the region and this is not a request but an order, and the will of the regional nations"

Where to begin? Iran has been awfully busy lately, planning back to back events that constantly gives Ahmadinejad press time. One might think that it was designed so that the Arabic press won't have any time to dwell on the fate of the Green opposition movement and the new receptions that Iranian prisons have devised for them. The political propaganda people in the revolutionary Guard have come to the conclusion that a lot of shrill condemnation of their old arch enemy the US will create a patriotic fire that will burn away any anti-government sentiments. Will it work? Well, who doesn't love a parade...

Iran is also sending a message to its Iraqi Shiite brethren, that after the US leaves, we will willingly come to your aid if you will let us. And to all Sunni Arab states, listen, we are major players in this region, quake at our might, join in our cause, let us lead you in a new Persian empire that will sweep across the Middle East and harbor in a new dawn, tossing aside that pesky illegitimate state of Israel.

What this vigorous display of nostalgic, Communist-inspired song and marching madness will actually do, is convince Russia and China and India to agree to sanctions against them, sooner if possible. If it only would convince Israel to sit down and negotiate instead of whine a lot about being threatened and persecuted... I know, our new foreign policy should be based on regime change, to get rid of both Ahmadinejad and Netanyahu, get some sane people in charge, someone who can be reasonable and can play well with others...

Sadly, the response in the Arabic press is often a prayer for violence. As long as negotiations establishing a Palestinian state are purposely stalled, the typical response in the street will be similar to this:

"Inshallah God is great America and Israel think that they can stay afloat the international laws by bringing out evil foreign policies towards the middle east,the time is coming when Israel will be wiped out of the world map and a country from the far east will take over.Long live Iran,long live Ahmedinajan.Ameen"

The biggest fear the US has is that if we leave Iraq and Afghanistan, will a religious civil war break out that will cause greater warfare and bring us back into a region that has lost all stability... Iran would like that, apocalyptic Christians would like that, and maybe George Bush would like that, secretly believing that he set events in motion for Armageddon and the return of the Christ by 2012... or maybe it's all a moot point as the water table in the Mid East is drying up, Lebanon is predicted to go dry by 2015, Egypt won't share the dwindling potable water in the Nile delta, and the Red Sea will have become permanently parted... so if religion doesn't spark a few more wars, fighting over water rights will...