I Guess Pigs Do Fly, Rape Locally

Paul Krugman
Jimmy Carter
Mikhail Gorbechev

"This particular virus started in Mexico, and spread from pigs to humans. Probably during spring break. I'm sorry, have I offended pigs? I apologize." --Bill Maher

Confirmed cases

As of Sunday, officials had confirmed 20 cases of a new A(H1N1) swine flu virus in the United States, including eight New York City high school students. Six cases were identified in Canada — all linked to travel in Mexico. While only a handful of swine flu cases in Mexico have been confirmed, officials say there are at least 1,400 suspected infections and at least 86 suspected deaths. There are even cases confirmed in New Zealand...(Source:NY Times) The incidents are spread out so widely that you might think the infected swine could fly, or that the flu got caught in the slipstream, or someone was putting lipstick on Petunia and giving her a big, wet one... Thank God you can't get it from barbecue, or we'd all be dead...

Over the weekend much time and analysis was made over President Obama's first 100 days in office. Damn, the man was busy... An ABC poll came out showing him with a 65% approval rating, I think people like it that he has taken a strong stand towards the economy, among other things. Only time will tell if he is successful or not, and for our sake, I hope he is. I get tired of the nattering nabobs of negativity that has become the GOP. Time for the old elephants to shut up and lumber off towards the graveyard... Or, as I heard one Republican pundit remark on the tube about the poll: here I am a Republican in a two party system, and my party came in third...

Other than Meghan McCaine, there aren't any other young conservatives harmonizing the airwaves. Most of our local kids are clones of their parents, who are pod people mimicking the latest distributed talking points. My local newspaper publishes one young organizer, but he needs to go back and take English 1B and learn how to write an essay...

Meanwhile the torture debates go endlessly on. We have stopped practicing the "enhanced interrogation techniques" so the discussion is over. OK, put a couple of judges and lawyers in jail; I know that will make me happier. And the Swat Valley Talibans are scoffing at whatever agreement they made yesterday... I just know there is a Monty Python skit there, but it's unfortunate that real innocent lives are at stake here.

The is one thing that Colorado can be proud of: we have the highest amount of wildlife strikes at Denver International Airport, the highest reported statistic in the country. As reported in both the Denver Post and Christian Science Monitor: "Denver International, Colorado, 2,416 reported incidents.

Kendra Cross, the U.S. Department of Agriculture biologist who manages wildlife at DIA, told the Denver Post that the airport is more susceptible to bird and wildlife strikes because it covers more land than any other airport in the nation — 49,000 acres. It’s the fifth-busiest airport in the country. Geography also plays a role. DIA isn’t an urban airport — “We’re situated right in the middle of an agricultural area,” Cross said.

Locally, we have had a 30% rise in reported rapes. A lot of it from Fort Carson. So, not only do we have to worry about dealing with the anger, fear, and suicidal feelings of our returning vets, now we have to throw sexual predation into the mix. Hopefully, raping women then killing them afterwards isn't a habit picked up in Iraq...having these boys recruited by American Nazi hate militias is the least of our worries. From the Colorado Springs Gazette: "Last year, police tallied 338 rape complaints in Colorado Springs, a 30 percent spike from three years ago and the highest toll in at least a decade.

With 12 detectives and four nonsworn investigators who assist police, each detective in the sex crimes unit oversees an estimated 20 investigations at a time, police said, leading to tough decisions about how quickly new complaints are examined by detectives and how much attention they receive.

"Not every case that comes into my office gets assigned, and I have to make some of those decisions," Sgt. Hugh Velasquez said.

Rape victims in Colorado Springs wait an average of two weeks before detectives are available to speak with them, police said. Victims advocates say it can be much longer: between four and six weeks." With the budget cuts, expect less resolution rates and longer times until the police come and take a report. Vigilantes, anyone? Or maybe we can create our own patriotic militia to counter all of this rising crime...

Late night political jokes:

"Yesterday President Obama hauled in the presidents of the credit card companies and said the days of tricky fine print and sudden rate increases and late fees are over. And he also demanded to know what kind of screwed up, cracker name was MasterCard." --Bill Maher

"Unemployment is continually rising, foreclosures are through the roof. I saw a bumper sticker the other day that said, 'If this van's a-rockin', it's because we live here now.'" --Bill Maher

"Are you ready for the next outbreak that isn't really going to happen, but sounds really scary, so the media's freaking out? Swine flu. Have you heard that? Yes, apparently swine flu has appeared in the U.S. This particular virus started in Mexico, and spread from pigs to humans. Probably during spring break. I'm sorry, have I offended pigs? I apologize." --Bill Maher

"Of course, the really big news is what's going on in Washington, and Obama opening the door, now, to prosecuting former Bush officials about torture, or, as they call it, severe interrogation procedures, which include waterboarding, sleep deprivation, forced nudity. We have outlawed all of these practices, although they are still challenges on 'The Love of Ray-J,' which is a television show." --Bill Maher

"It's interesting how the progression changes with the Republicans. First, when they talked about torture, it was, 'Well, there's just a few bad apples.' Then it was, 'Okay, we did it a couple of times.' Then it was not really torture, and now, it works." --Bill Maher

"They first said they tortured this Khaled Sheikh Mohammed -- and by the way, if there's anyone who deserved it, it was him -- but first they said they did it once. Now it comes out 183 times that they waterboarded this motherf**ker in a month. This comes out to six times in a day. I would think after that, you get used to it. He was showing up at his torture sessions in flip flops and a beach towel, with a Danielle Steele novel. 'Would you like sparkling or flat waterboarding today, sir?'" --Bill Maher

"No, it is fun watching the Republicans trying to defend torture, because they insist that what's wrong with the Democrats on this issue is they don't get what it's like in the 'real world.' And, to prove it, they cite Jack Bauer, a character from a television show." --Bill Maher

"Dick Cheney is all over television defending this. He said yesterday, he would be happy to undergo waterboarding himself, but his heart might rust." --Bill Maher

"George W. Bush and Bill Clinton have announced their going to have a debate. They already have a name for it -- 'Alienated vs. Predator.'" --Craig Ferguson

"It’s World Penguin Day. Penguins are important. It’s true. Some say John McCain lost the election due to his resemblance to The Penguin from Batman." --Craig Ferguson

"Yesterday was 'Take Your Kid to Work Day.' It used to be 'Take Your Daughter to Work Day,' but political correctness took over. Thanks to the economy, there’s a new special day for parents and kids – 'Take Your Child to Where You Used to Work Day.' This day shows that daddy and mommy didn’t always just sit around in their underwear." --Jimmy Kimmel

"The White House was on lockdown because a small plane flew into restricted airspace. Say what you want, but Dick Cheney would have shot that thing down." --Jimmy Fallon

"Obama was on the news today speaking about college spending. He’s proposing a new budget '' $15 billion for college loans, $20 billion for Ramen Noodles." --Jimmy Fallon

"Crime is down in New York City. Tomorrow criminals head down to Washington to request a bailout." --David Letterman

"Today is the 81st birthday of Madam Tussauds wax museum. Biggest collection of wax figures since 'The View.'" --David Letterman

"In economic news, ExxonMobil's profit last year was $45 billion. In second place was the company that makes those foreclosure signs." --David Letterman

Islamabad Mon Amour, Pelosi's Forked Tongue

WARNING: RANT LEVEL HIGH

Bad news from Pakistan. This thing is playing out like some bad drama written by a Hollywood studio hack, and it will end with in the most hideous way. Instead of fiddling while Rome burned, Zardari will twiddle his thumbs while Islamabad and most of Pakistan goes up in a nuclear mushroom cloud.

The Taliban took over Buner province, just 60 miles away from Pakistan's capital, Islamabad. Then the military got them to withdraw. Yeah, right. Like a bad farce, the spiritual leader Sufi Mohammed made a pretense of herding his Talibans out of Buner, while leaving many others behind to enforce sharia law. Nobody else in the Islamic countries is interested in endorsing this backwards, draconian interpretation of Islam. Indonesia just rejected it, and even Saudi Arabia is trying to modernize and lighten up with the church police. If we could take away the nuclear arsenal, then let these people lord it over each other, throw acid in their women's faces, and stone each other to death in the name of some hick version of Allah the Compassionate...

The analogy here is if the Christian right wing evangelicals, our own American Talibans, were to take over El Paso county. James Dobson would be in charge and members of Focus on the Famly could roam around in public and hassle you and give you a ticket for not being Christian enough. They could shoot and kill your children if they lived in sin with someone, or gotten pregnant out of wedlock.

Of course, the underlying problem in places like Pakistan is the clash of cultures, with Wahabism being a synthesized solution to creeping Westernization. As long as there is the amount of poverty and lack of education, you will always have fodder you can convince to become suicide bombers. As long as children are taught in schools nothing but the Koran, you will have boys as young as 8 years old wanting to be Taliban soldiers. It may be that any solution is years in the future, more than the US is willing to spend in the region. We haven't been able to stop government corruption, the drug trade, blackmarkets, or animosity of Sunni against Shia. We were hoping to set a good example of what a democratic nation has to offer, but killing civilians by drones and torturing prisoners pretty much put an end to that...

Here's a reversal: the Republicans looking to protest over spending for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Reported in the Washington Times: "President Obama's $83.4 billion war-spending bill is headed for an unexpectedly tough time on Capitol Hill, where Republicans are scrutinizing the funding priorities and rank-and-file Democrats want to include performance benchmarks for the Afghanistan mission.

Despite bipartisan support for Mr. Obama's war policy in Iraq and Afghanistan, Republicans are taking a stand against the more than $81 million requested to shut down the prison camp at U.S. Naval Base Guantanamo Bay, Cuba...

Republicans, who have made criticism of massive new spending the cornerstone of their opposition to Mr. Obama and the Democrat-led Congress, also are ready to pounce on any funding not directly linked to the war effort."

I'd been wondering why Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has been keeping a fairly low profile since Barack Obama took office, and now I think I know why. In an interview with the Colorado Statesman a few weeks ago, ex-Governor Bill Owens, talking about the stimulus bill, dished some gossip that: "...the analysts basically say that he let (Speaker of the House and California Congresswoman) Nancy Pelosi write the bill. And she threw in everything her constituency wanted — which had very little to do with stimulus...

Everybody put in essentially earmarks, though they didn’t call it that. And it’s 1,000 pages that nobody had read. And it wasn’t very transparent. And they didn’t allow amendments in the House..." Because the bill was not received very well, she has taken a backseat in promoting Obama's agenda.

And well she should stay back there, with the recent lies she told the media over being briefed about wiretapping on members of Congress, specifically throwing Jane Harmon under the subway train, and on being briefed on the use of enhanced interrogation techniques, the government speak for torture. Kara Rowland reports in the Washington Times: "House Speaker Nancy Pelosi on Thursday said she had no recourse to stop the use of enhanced interrogation techniques such as waterboarding after receiving a classified briefing from the CIA in 2002 - an explanation the top Republican on the House intelligence committee called "the lamest of lame excuses."

As scrutiny over who knew what about the controversial tactics has turned back to Congress, Mrs. Pelosi sought to distance herself from revelations that she and other key Democrats were kept in the loop by the CIA between 2002 and 2006. Mrs. Pelosi, who was briefed by the agency as the ranking member on the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence, suggested that the current system - in which sensitive information is shared chiefly with only the top members of the House and Senate intelligence committees - needs tweaking so that all members of the committees have the same information.

"They don't come in to consult. They come in to notify," she said. "You can't change what they're doing unless you can act as a committee or as a class."

As for charges the lawmakers could have sought to cut off funding if they disapproved of the tactics, she noted that the Appropriations Committee ultimately has that authority.

But Rep. Peter Hoekstra, currently the ranking Republican on the House intelligence panel, described her comments as the "lamest of lame excuses," saying she could have gone to then-Minority Leader Richard A. Gephardt to discuss her concerns.

"The minority leader has the same type of clearances that she has," said Mr. Hoekstra, of Michigan. "Guess what - so does the president."

Within the past three years, Mr. Hoekstra said he "can think of at least specifically three or four cases" in which he raised concerns about an issue with Minority Leader John A. Boehner or former House Speaker J. Dennis Hastert. In a couple of instances, he was granted an audience with then President Bush.

"Last time I checked, the appropriators were part of the House of Representatives," he said when asked about the intelligence panel's influence over funding decisions." If only we could get politicians to stop politicking... terms limits, baby, term limits!

Late night vintage jokes on the war on terrorism:

"I'm not worried about things in the world because yesterday President Bush told reporters that he is monitoring the situation in North Korea, very carefully. In fact today the president spent the whole day watching reruns of M.A.S.H." —Conan O'Brien

"Osama bin Laden has released a new audiotape praising recent terrorism attacks and proving he is still alive. But how alive is he? It's been 12 months since his last tape and, quite frankly, there's been no artistic development whatsoever." —Jon Stewart

"These days it's good to know we still have friends in the Middle East, friends like Saudi Arabia. That's right where, may I remind you, four of the 19 September 11th hijackers were not from." —Jon Stewart

"Al Qaeda has issued another threat to the U.S. saying we're not safe on land, at sea, or in the air. Well, Amtrak, Carnival Cruise Lines and United Airlines took care of that." —Jay Leno

"I read something interesting today about President Bush. Did you know on his desk, in the Oval Office, he keeps a paper with the pictures of the most al Qaeda members on it and whenever we capture or kill one of them, he crosses them out? Clinton used to do the same thing with the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. Whenever he'd nail one of them, he'd put a line through them." —Jay Leno

"Counter-terrorism experts say that Osama bin Laden may be hiding secret messages on pornographic websites. You know what that means, Clinton could find this guy before Bush." —Jay Leno

"Terrorist mastermind Khalid Shaikh Mohammed has been arrested. He has been described as the CEO of al Qaeda. See, that's two things to be happy about. Not only did we arrest a high-ranking member of al Qaeda, we also get to torture a CEO." —Jay Leno

"One of these al Qaeda guys was actually raised in Brooklyn, New York. Can you believe that? Apparently, it was pretty easy though. The al Qaeda guys went to him and said if you martyr yourself you'll go to paradise where there's plenty of parking." —David Letterman

"More warnings issued by all branches of the government today that another terrorist attack is imminent. We're not sure when, we're not sure where, just that it is coming. Who is attacking us now, the cable company?" —Jay Leno

"Saudi Arabia Prince Abdullah is visiting President Bush at his Texas ranch. After that, like many other Saudis, he'll go enroll at a U.S. flight school." —David Letterman

"Today the 20th hijacker, Zacharisa Moussaui called for the death of America in the courtroom. The INS was so mad that they're threatening to revoke his student visa. Keep it up, and you'll lose your pilot's license, pal." —Jay Leno

"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'You want a piece of me?'" —Robin Williams, on the September 11 attacks

"My only hope is when those terrorists get to heaven, they meet up with the kind of virgins we had in Catholic school: Sister Mike Ditka from Our Mother of Eternal Retribution." —Robin Williams

"According to a new report from Afghanistan, the hottest music over there right now is Disco. So, we've achieved a compromise here. We brought them out of the 13th Century, but only took them up to 1978." —Jay Leno

"A newspaper in London has received an e-mail from Osama bin Laden. It’s odd to get an e-mail from Osama bin Laden because when you turn on the computer it says, "You’ve got Jihad!" —David Letterman

"Today President Bush has clarified his world view saying 'You're either with us or you're with the terrorists. Or you're with the terrorists but you have oil [graphic shows Kuwait]. Or you're with us but you hate us [graphic shows Egypt]. Or you're with us, but you fund all the terrorism in the world [graphic shows Saudi Arabia]. Or you're a hundred percent with the terrorists accept for one little guy in charge [graphic shows Pakistan]. Or you're with us but you can't really help us [graphic shows Iceland]. Or you're with the terrorists with each other and against us even though you really hate each other [graphic shows Iraq and Iran]." —Tina Fey on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"

"After what they say was an exhaustive investigation, the Defense Minister of France said today that Osama bin Laden is either still in hiding in Afghanistan, he may have escaped to Pakistan, or he may be dead. Hey, France, thanks a lot. We'll take it from here. Hard to believe they were invaded twice." —Jay Leno

"Here's a story that has a lot of people in government upset. It seems the major tobacco companies have been smuggling billions and billions of cigarettes into Iraq. Where is their patriotism? They're supposed to be killing Americans with those cigarettes!" —Jay Leno

"On Thursday, a senior U.S. official said that the CIA released a formerly-classified document warning that Afghanistan might descend into civil war. Boy, you want to keep that one a secret. I'd hate to shatter people's illusions about the utopian wonderland that is Afghanistan." —Dennis Miller

"Some human rights groups are complaining that the al Qaeda detainees in Guantanamo Bay are being treated inhumanly. Oh please! They're in the Caribbean in January, okay. You add some goats and sheep to the place they'd think it was Temptation Island." —Jay Leno

"Today more al Qaeda and Taliban prisoners were flown to Quantanomo Bay in Cuba. On the plane they are bound, they are sedated, they are chained to their chairs. Or, as Continental calls it, coach." —Jay Leno

"One thing we learned, bombing works. ... We've flown over 2,800 sorties, dropped 15 tons in warheads, and done $39 in damage. But we're a compassionate nation ... and when this is all over, we're going to put the rocks and dirt back." —Comedian Al Franken

"News from Afghanistan. The Northern Alliance is now saying they know exactly where Mullah Omar is. And what that means of course is that they have no idea where he is. ... If you're keeping score this is the fourth location where Mullah Omar announced he'll be fighting to the death." —David Letterman

"An interim government has been set up in Afghanistan which includes two women, one of whom will be Minister of Women's Affairs. Man, who'd she have to show her ankles to to get that job?" —Tina Fey on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"

"The latest report is that Mullah Omar's own troops may try to kill him now. Well, duh. I guess they figure that with that $25 million reward, they can get all the virgins they want." —Jay Leno

"French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too soon. The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them how to surrender properly." —Jay Leno

"There's no authority in Afghanistan right now. All these different ethnic groups — people are in the streets armed and shooting guns. So, it's just like L.A., except without the traffic." —Jay Leno

"In Afghanistan this week, outnumbered Northern Alliance rebels on horseback defeated Taliban forces armed with tanks. Experts say the victory is just like the story of David and Goliath and David's friend, the Stealth Bomber." —Tina Fey on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"

From Baghdad to Alaska, Weekend Love Fest

Porter Goss
Bruce Bartlett

"If You Think It's About Greed, You Don't Know Me" - Al Gore

"We can't have a secret intelligence service if we keep giving away all the secrets." - Porter Goss

"Protestors need to do a better job of figuring out what they are protesting and devise a real plan for dealing with our nation’s fiscal problem." - Bruce Bartlett


craigslist > casual encounters > warning & disclaimer


Hillary Clinton paid her first visit to Iraq this year, and commented on the recent surge of suicide bombings. From Politico: "Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said in unannounced visit to Baghdad that the recent spate of bombings is a sign that the situation in Iraq is improving, downplaying sectarian violence and said that U.S. support will not waiver.

“We are committed to Iraq, we want to see a stable, sovereign, self-reliant Iraq,” Clinton told an audience including 120 invited Iraqi civilians at the U.S. embassy. "As we make this transition, the United States will stand with the people.”

Clinton's visit comes after two days of bombing that targeted Shiite Muslims and killed nearly 150 people. "I think the suicide bombings ... are, in an unfortunately tragic way, a signal that the rejectionists fear that Iraq is going in the right direction," she said, referring to two days of bombings that killed nearly 150 people. “Are there going to be bad days? Yes there are. But I don’t know of any difficult international situation anywhere in the world or history where there haven’t been bad days.”

Here in Colorado we are waking up from hibernating, the newspapers are full of warnings on how to handle a bear attack, which is different than confronting a mountain lion. In my townhouse complex, we primarily worry if the foxes have taken and killed our pets during the night... and my cat is still here.

We not only are trying to get fresher foods onto our school lunch plates, but, it seems, in our jails too. The NY Times reports: "The Oklahoma City bombing conspirator Terry L. Nichols has lost a round in his lawsuit seeking more whole grains and fresh food in his diet at the federal prison in Florence. A federal judge in Denver denied Mr. Nichols’s request for a preliminary injunction. The judge said Mr. Nichols did not show that he faced immediate and irreparable injury. The court has not ruled on the suit itself. Mr. Nichols contends his diet consisted of “unhealthy dead and refined foods” and is causing him physical problems. He also said the food violated his religious beliefs. Mr. Nichols is serving a life sentence for conspiracy and involuntary manslaughter in the 1995 courthouse bombing." We're all doomed to life with chicken nuggets and velveeta cheese pizza. I wonder if the food contributes in any way to anti-social behavior...

Public service announcement: a new strain of swine flu is traveling north from Mexico, where it has killed over 60 people. There are reported cases in California and Texas. From the SF Chronicle:

Signs of possible swine flu

-- Flulike symptoms, including fever, sore throat, cough, and possibly vomiting and diarrhea.

-- Recent travel to Mexico, or contact with someone who has been to Mexico recently.

-- Recent travel to San Diego or Imperial counties in Southern California, or contact with someone from there.

-- Recent plane travel to airports in affected areas, including Mexico, San Diego and San Antonio.

What to do if you're sick

-- If you have a fever, stay home. Do not go to work, and do not send sick children to school.

-- If symptoms worsen, contact a doctor. Be sure to report other risk factors such as recent travel to Mexico.


I love Sarah Palin. She has become such a cartoon figure that you can always count on her and Michele Bachmann for comic relief. The lates gaff comes from CNN: "For Alaskans, the time has come to end the siege on our government by political tricksters. Enough is enough. With the help of reform-minded advocates from across our nation, we will stand up for what is right," said a message on the Web site for the Alaska Fund Trust.

"Your maximum contribution of $150.00 will allow the Governor, her family, and her colleagues to retire their legal debt at no cost to Alaskans and reduce the incentive for mischief by her opponents. Together, we can help Governor Palin and future elected officials turn back the tide of overtly partisan and unnecessarily personal political attacks."

And some reader's reactions: "Money for Palin? Yeah, and I'm going to give my house to Donald Trump, my car to Junior Earnhardt, and all my food to Emeril. Not! Stop acting corrup, Palin, and you won't need anybody else's money." - Tom

"Here is an idea Sarah, Pay your own freakin legal bills for your own freakin legal problems. Don't create a freebie money fund open your purse strings and be responsible for your own obligations!!!" - AVoR

"Do any of the Professional Liberal Bloggers(PLB) know that the reason Gov. Palin needs the legal defense fund is because the liberals are filing ridiculus lawsuits over a lot of nothing! They are trying to bankrupt her and ruin her name which tells me they still fear her.
Get your facts straight, PLB's, and earn your money from ACORN, LaRaza, and Obama "honestly". - Sue

"I'm not sure I want Gov. Palin to go away. For absolutely no cost to myself, I get to watch somebody bungle their personal & political life on a regular basis, live in comical & woeful denial & sound an obviously false note of indignation that she should become a victim of external forces, not recognizing the chickens are coming home to roost." -Bernard

And good ol' Steve Benen weighs in on the author of the torture memo on Political Animal:

"Unlike the other Bush administration officials who provided the justification for torture policies, Jay Bybee currently enjoys a lifetime appointment on a federal appeals court. The nomination was an insult, his confirmation was absurd, and as amn NYT recently noted, "These memos make it clear that Mr. Bybee is unfit for a job that requires legal judgment and a respect for the Constitution. Congress should impeach him."

As the jurist comes under closer scrutiny, Bybee's friends want the political world to know that the poor guy just feels awful about the whole mess. The Washington Post was kind enough to publish a lengthy piece today on Bybee's "regret...

But if Bybee feels bad about all of this, it suggests maybe the infamous Bybee Memo was a mistake. If he's filled with regret, maybe he realizes his legal guidance was wrong. Indeed, Bybee's anonymous friend said the torture memo "got away from him," and ended up in a place Bybee "never intended." Another source said Bybee "was not pleased" with the memo that bore his name.

I'd find it a lot easier to believe this if Bybee were to say something publicly, and perhaps explain his conduct.

The Post piece added that Bybee didn't even want to work in the OLC in the first place.

Bybee's friends said he never sought the job at the Office of Legal Counsel. The reason he went back to Washington, [Randall] Guynn said, was to interview with then-White House counsel Alberto R. Gonzales for a slot that would be opening on the 9th Circuit when a judge retired. The opening was not yet there, however, so Gonzales asked, "Would you be willing to take a position at the OLC first?" Guynn said.

Being unable to answer for what followed is "very frustrating," said Guynn, who spoke to Bybee before agreeing to be interviewed.

But that's hardly helpful. As Adam Serwer explained, "So Bybee knew he was breaking the law in allowing the use of torture, but you have to understand, he only did it because he really wanted to be a federal judge."

Late night jokes on post-war Iraq:

"The FBI is investigating Americans -- just for opposing the war. You know, maybe when we're done establishing a democracy in Iraq, we could try it over here." --Jay Leno

"Pentagon records show that at least 8,000 members of the all-volunteer U.S. Army have deserted since the Iraq war began. Hey, at least somebody has an exit strategy." --Tina Fey

"Looks like some kind of civil war brewing in Iraq. Well, who could have seen that coming? That came out of left field, huh? They say it is total chaos over there. People are roaming the streets with guns. It's like everyone is Dick Cheney now." --Jay Leno

"Rumors are that the reason Dick Cheney didn't say anything about the hunting accident for about 24 hours was because he had been drinking. And I'm thinking, well jeez, he was probably drinking when we planned the invasion of Iraq." --David Letterman

"President Bush admitted that the United States went to war in Iraq based on bad intelligence. But he says knowing what we know now he would still do it again. So at least we're learning from our mistakes." --Jay Leno

"The general election's taking place today in Iraq, so I guess that means we're one step closer to being there for another 10 years." --David Letterman

"Already there have been reports of 1000 fake ballots in the Iraqi election. So it looks like another victory for Republicans." --David Letterman

"A new study suggests that middle-aged adults who go on periodic drinking binges may face a heightened risk of dementia later on in life. The study is entitled, 'National Strategy for Victory in Iraq.'" --Tina Fey

"President Bush getting tough. In his speech at the naval academy he said we will not leave Iraq until we have achieved our goal. He calls this plan 'leave no oil barrel behind.'" --Jay Leno

"In his speech President Bush said we need to rebuild Iraq, provide the people with jobs, and give them hope. If it works there maybe we'll try it in New Orleans." --Jay Leno

"For the first time ever, Republicans in Congress -- Republicans! -- are demanding to know the president's exit strategy from Iraq. Yeah, in response the president said I have an exit strategy, I'm leaving office in 2008." --Conan O'Brien

"A new poll shows that 66% of Americans think President Bush is doing a poor job on the War in Iraq. And the remaining 34% think Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to church." --Tina Fey

Don't Torture Me, Bro...

Paul Krugman
Philip Zelikow
Eugene Robinson

“Nothing will be gained by spending our time and energy laying blame for the past.” - Barack Obama

"The ugliness is already there, and pretending it isn’t won’t make it go away." - Paul Krugman

"Yet the main rationale for using extreme methods is to save time" - Philip Zelikow

" Go f**k yourself..." - Dick Cheney

I got this fun story from The Guardian, about a couple of New Guinea tribesmen suing the New Yorker over their portrayal in an article by Jared Diamond: "...an abstract still carried by the magazine's website bills it as a work of anthropology. It explores the story of a New Guinean highlander whose uncle was killed in a battle against a neighbouring clan and who thus felt duty-bound to seek revenge.

The tribesman named in the article is Daniel Wemp, a member of the Handa clan, who is one of the two individuals that have brought the lawsuit. In the New Yorker he is said to have prosecuted his public fight over three years, at the cost of 29 lives in the course of six battles and the theft of 300 pigs.

The other man listed in the legal action is Henep Isum Mandingo, who Wemp is said in the article to have held responsible for his uncle's murder. According to Diamond, Mandingo was shot in the back with an arrow, leaving him paralysed and in a wheelchair."

The whole story about the New Yorker article's mistakes can be found at the web site Stinky Journalism

Poor Dick Cheney, he's feeling so unloved lately. How else can we describe the rash of interviews he's been giving to the media? Other than he may be scrambling trying to keep from eventually going to jail or tried for treason... Even his daughter felt compelled to go on MSNBC and defend her old man: ‘I think he feels compelled to make clear why, particularly related to national security issues, it is so important that we don’t abandon those policies and that we remember the fact that we are at war,’ [daughter Liz] Cheney said Thursday. ‘When he sees the current administration making decisions that he believes are making the nation less safe, he does not believe there is any obligation under those circumstances to be silent.’”

“At a time when his party has no high-profile leaders on Capitol Hill, Mr. Cheney is in effect the ranking Republican speaking out against Mr. Obama. His message has been amplified — on television, in op-ed pieces and elsewhere — by an informal band of supporters, including Ms. Cheney.” It's weird, here's a man that kept everything super secret, he had the old escape tunnels that led from his house to under the Potomac refurbished so they were more than a historical footnote, then had the image of the Vice Presidential house blurred out on images from Google Earth, and now that he's out of office and is spending too much time brooding over the past few years, we can't get rid of him or get him to shut up... Even Meghan McCain is complaining about him on The View, which is why he felt compelled to trot out his daughter to go to bat for him.

It's all about the torture memos the Justice Department has released, and gotten everyone's underwear bunched up. The furor won't die down with more pictures being released this week, and until something is established to investigate all of the charges and come to some kind of official settlement, either by committee or by court. Cheney thinks that requesting and releasing certain reports from the CIA will vindicate him as a tough, patriotic guy and not some cowardly sadistic bastard that filed for deferments five times over...

It looks like most of the problem stems back to the Bush administration wanting to shoehorn facts to fit their argument that the 9/11 attacks and al-Qaeda were linked to Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The CIA didn't have any spies or information on the area, so they began torturing the first people they captured to get quick results, for example, waterboarding a suspect 183 times in one month... From CQ Politic's Spytalk: "When interrogation subjects coughed up some seemingly vital new information about new plots or al Qaeda personalities, the CIA had few means to check it against reports supplied by spies under its control, either in the terrorist group or elsewhere.

Everything they were hearing was new. By many accounts interrogators slapping suspects like hamburger patties didn't have a clue whether they were telling the truth. They didn't have independent sources of information to know what was up.

... As for CIA headquarters officials reportedly ordering interrogators to go back and hammer subjects again and again, even after they'd been milked dry, Faddis asked, "Why were they hanging desperately on every word they could wring out of the detainees?"

Because, he said, the agency didn't have much coming in from other sources -- spies -- and they were desperate to prevent another attack."

The problem we now face, is how to go about investigating. Do we respect the rule of law and prosecute those responsible, or do we find some convenient scapegoats like the low level CIA operatives or Army guards like we did at Abu Ghraib, who are still in jail? Even former Brig. Gen. Janis Karpinski, who was in charge of Abu Ghraib prison and had to let in the outside special interrogators, expressed her frustration on MSNBC over Bush apologists who are defending "hard interrogation techniques" now, but were silent about accountability for torture at Abu Ghraib five years ago. Eugene Robinson sums it up in the Washington Post: "I don't know what more we'll find out if a blue-ribbon investigative panel of some kind is formed. But what we already know is enough to ensure that sooner or later, the abusive interrogation methods authorized by George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and other officials are going to be measured against the law. Our system, left to its own devices, is not designed to let illegal acts be revealed and then ignored.

From the viewpoint of the Obama administration, the alternatives may be unattractive or even unacceptable. No one wants to see low-ranking CIA interrogators go down for doing what their superiors told them was legal, especially if the superiors are not held to account. But pursuing criminal charges against the highest-ranking officials of the previous administration would be unprecedented, and it is unclear where such a process might lead."

I found this satire that Bill Maher wrote in the LA Times: "Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann of Minnesota recently said she fears that Obama will build "reeducation" camps to indoctrinate young people. But Obama hasn't made any moves toward taking anyone's guns, and with money as tight as it is, the last thing the president wants to do is run a camp where he has to shelter and feed a bunch of fat, angry white people.

Look, I get it, "real America." After an eight-year run of controlling the White House, Congress and the Supreme Court, this latest election has you feeling like a rejected husband. You've come home to find your things out on the front lawn -- or at least more things than you usually keep out on the front lawn. You're not ready to let go, but the country you love is moving on. And now you want to call it a whore and key its car.

That's what you are, the bitter divorced guy whose country has left him -- obsessing over it, haranguing it, blubbering one minute about how much you love it and vowing the next that if you cannot have it, nobody will.

But it's been almost 100 days, and your country is not coming back to you. She's found somebody new. And it's a black guy.

The healthy thing to do is to just get past it and learn to cherish the memories. You'll always have New Orleans and Abu Ghraib.

And if today's conservatives are insulted by this, because they feel they're better than the people who have the microphone in their party, then I say to them what I would say to moderate Muslims: Denounce your radicals. To paraphrase George W. Bush, either you're with them or you're embarrassed by them.

The thing that you people out of power have to remember is that the people in power are not secretly plotting against you. They don't need to. They already beat you in public."


Late night jokes:

"Dick Cheney and Karl Rove, once two of the most powerful men in this country, are now suffering from Balzheimer's disease. Why didn't I see it before? Balzheimer's is a terrible illness that attacks the memory and gives its victims the balls to attack others for things they themselves made a career of. There is no known cure." --Jon Stewart (Watch video clip)

"Hey, I thought this was nice. To celebrate Earth Day, a group of schoolchildren in Washington each planted a hair plug in Joe Biden's head." --Jay Leno

"Even Dick Cheney was into Earth Day. Did you see what he said today? He called for the use of only recycled water when waterboarding prisoners." --Jay Leno

"Well, here's an interesting study. Researchers in Britain announced today that global warming is caused in part by overweight people. They say obese people release more carbon dioxide into the air. No, this is real. This is real. See, all this time you used to think it was caused by coal-burning factories. Turns out it was Cheesecake Factories." --Jay Leno

"Next month in Toronto, Canada, former President George W. Bush will debate former President Bill Clinton. The question of the debate -- is it worse to lie to your wife or lie to the entire country?" --Jay Leno

"No, this is big. They're billing the debate as 'the corn dog versus the horn dog.'" --Jay Leno

"Former President George W. Bush said today he does not remember seeing any of those torture memos. But to be fair, to Bush, any memo on his desk was torture. 'I'm not readin' that.'" --Jay Leno

"During an interview with The New York Post, Rudy Giuliani said that he is against gay marriage. He feels marriage should be between a man, a woman, the other woman, and the other woman he met after that." --Jay Leno

"The Justice Department says they want to make an example of this Somali pirate guy. And I thought, really? In terms of making an example, I don't think you can do much better than shooting the other three guys in the head." --David Letterman

"Speaking of things like that, classified documents that were recently released show that Dick Cheney, who a couple of years ago went nuts and shot a guy, ordered Khalid Shaikh Mohammed waterboarded 183 times. When do you suppose Mohammed caught on and said, 'I know this is just horse play'?" --David Letterman

"But anyway, they waterboarded Mohammed 183 times, and thanks to the information they got from this guy, via waterboarding, we were able to capture bin Laden." --David Letterman

"President Obama has kind of a happier outlook on torture. He says instead of waterboarding terrorists, he's going to put them in dunk tanks." --David Letterman

"But Dick Cheney is now criticizing President Obama, and he's saying that his recent actions around the world are 'disturbing' and 'not helpful.' Yeah, yeah, things were so much better when Cheney was president, weren't they?" --David Letterman

Hillary Warns Pakistan, Mohsen Rezai Throws His Turban Into the Ring

Robert Scheer
Robert Mackey
David Broder
Ali Soufan

"What has happened so far is no more than the overture to the first act of this opera." - David Broder

"It was the right decision to release these memos, as we need the truth to come out." - Ali Soufan

“I haven’t made no money yet.” - Levi Johnston

Just to show how worried US officials are over the state of Pakistan, here is Hillary Clinton being pretty blunt and honest to the House Foreign Affairs Committee, from the NY Times:"Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton sharply rebuked the government of Pakistan on Wednesday, accusing the country’s leaders of surrendering large tracts of territory to the Taliban and saying that the country’s instability is a “mortal threat” to world peace.

“I think that the Pakistani government is basically abdicating to the Taliban and to the extremists,” The secretary’s words were striking, aimed as they were at a nation that Washington has described as a key ally in the international campaign against terrorism. Her remarks may have been aimed not just at Pakistan’s rulers but at American lawmakers reluctant to provide more money for a region that has been a trouble spot.

“If you talk to people in Pakistan, especially in the ungoverned territories, which are increasing in number, they don’t believe the state has a judiciary system that works,” she said. “It’s corrupt, it doesn’t extend its power into the countryside. So the government of Pakistan, however it is constituted, which is of course their business, not ours, must begin to deliver government services.”

Otherwise Ms. Clinton warned, “they are going to lose out to those who show up and claim that they can solve people’s problems, and then they will impose this harsh form of oppression on women and others.” The questions we should be asking are what plans do we have to extract Pakistan's nuclear arsenal if it does fall to the Taliban? Those plans should be in place right not, ready to be enacted within the next few months...

Many people within Iran see Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as an embarrassment to Iranian interests, especially after the walkout on his speech at the racism summit. Another hardline conservative has announced that he would run against Ahmadinejad for President, as reported by the NY Times: "Mohsen Rezai, announced Wednesday that he would enter the presidential race, indicating additional splintering among the country’s conservatives.

Mr. Rezai, who oversaw the Revolutionary Guards from 1981 to 1997, had been seeking to unite conservative politicians behind another candidate to compete against President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Mr. Rezai, who has accused Mr. Ahmadinejad of mismanaging the economy, will run as an independent candidate, the ISNA news agency reported.

His candidacy underscores the political fragmenting of a conservative faction known as the Principlists, which threw its support behind Mr. Ahmadinejad when he ran for president in 2004. Some leading figures who supported Mr. Ahmadinejad then have not publicly backed him this time. Mr. Rezai is not necessarily considered a strong candidate, but because of his association with the Revolutionary Guards, he will probably attract conservative voters who might otherwise vote for Mr. Ahmadinejad. The president is expected to have strong support from the poor and the Revolutionary Guards, among others.


Politicians who favor more political and social openness, along with closer ties to the West, have also been unable to coalesce around a single candidate. They are divided between a former prime minister, Mir Hossein Mousavi, and a former speaker of Parliament, Mehdi Karroubi.

Opponents have accused Mr. Ahmadinejad of economic mismanagement and of using government money to attract support for a second term. His government has come under attack in the past month for distributing about 400,000 tons of potatoes around the country and giving bonuses, including gold coins, to civil servants, Iranian newspapers have reported.

In another development, Iran announced Wednesday that it welcomed nuclear talks and said it was ready to offer a proposal to resolve the dispute over its uranium enrichment activities, the state-run IRNA news agency reported. Mr. Ahmadinejad said last week that Iran would take part in talks, and Wednesday’s statement appeared to be an official response to an April 8 invitation by six major powers for a meeting."

And on the home front,Politico reports on dumb-as-a-box-of-rocks Levi Johnston, who: "said during an interview on CNN's "Larry King Live" that he has hired an attorney in hopes of compelling former fiancée Bristol Palin to honor his visitation rights.

Johnston last saw his 4-month-old son "a couple weeks ago," he said, adding that going over to the Palin household to see Tripp is "an uncomfortable thing."

Despite his threat of legal action, Johnston insists that he does not "want to stir anything up." But Levi, how can you not stir things up when you hire a snake? Of course the Palin family is mad at you, you knocked up their daughter and now you have walked away. Try getting a job and making child support...

And to warm you up for the late night jokes, TPM is reporting that a movie is going to be made about Bernie Madoff, called Scumdog Millionaire...

Late night jokes:

"What was it, 101 today? Man, it was hot. People were sweating like Miss California at the gay pride parade." --Jay Leno

"Well, here's no surprise, Exxon has earned the top spot in the new 2009 Fortune 500 list. Last year, Exxon took in -- this is an unbelievable number -- $443 billion in revenue, and made a profit of $45 billion. You know, here's my question: why not have Exxon bail out the car companies? I mean, one can't live without the other, right?" --Jay Leno

"They are now holding national elections in India. You know, voting over there lasts a month. They have a month of voting, which seems long for an election. Unless you're from Minnesota. Then it's like nothing." --Jay Leno

"So many newspapers all across the country are going out of business. It's pretty scary, so congratulations to The New York Times this week, which this week won five Pulitzer Prizes. I read about it online on Google News." --Jay Leno

"And as the economy lags, the Army is getting more and more selective now. The Army announced this week they will no longer accept drug addicts and felons. But the good news is there's always Congress, the NFL, and show business." --Jay Leno

"A journalist from Playboy magazine attempted to withstand 15 seconds of waterboarding. And he's going to write all about it in an article that no one will ever read." --Craig Ferguson

"Bill Clinton and George W. Bush will appear together on stage in Toronto for a two-hour, friendly debate. Each side gets to pick a topic, so the first hour will be centered on the international banking crisis. The second hour will be dedicated to Nascar trivia." --Jimmy Fallon

David Letterman's Top Ten Thoughts Going Through the Somali Pirate's Mind While in New York City

10. This city is more dangerous than downtown Mogadishu.
9. It's like my own episode of "Gossip Girl."
8. Maybe Madonna will adopt me.
7. If I don't get a corned beef on rye soon, I'm gonna plotz!
6. How can I meet Zac Efron?
5. Go Niners!
4. Any chance of getting "Jersey Boys" tickets?
3. This would be a pretty sweet trip if it weren't for the handcuffs and jail.
2. Why the hell are these people lining up to see Letterman?
1. You charge $40 for parking, and I'm the pirate?

IMF Doom and Gloom, Real Estate in Sri Lanka Now Real Cheap

Dana Millbank
Henry Kissinger
Robert Kaplan


“It is high time that the world wakes up to the fact that the Sri Lankan government is conducting an ethnic cleansing within its shores,” - Anand.



This is depressing news, the International Monetary Fund is forecasting more doom and gloom for the world's economy this year, and next year not much better with a global deficit of $3 to $4 trillion dollars. The NY Times reports: "The International Monetary Fund said Wednesday the world economy has fallen into a severe recession, cutting its forecast for global growth and calling for forceful action to spur a recovery.

In its latest World Economic Outlook, the monetary fund said the global economy would likely contract 1.3 percent this year in the deepest post-World War II recession by far. Growth is set to re-emerge to around 1.9 percent next year, a pace more sluggish than average recoveries because of lingering strains in the financial sector, it added.

The monetary fund warned that the turnaround depends on efforts by governments to nurse the global financial sector back to health by cleaning banks’ balance sheets, and on additional fiscal and monetary policies in advanced economies.

“A key concern is that policies may be insufficient to arrest the negative feedback between deteriorating financial conditions and weakening economies in the face of limited public support for policy actions,” the monetary fund said."

And the pressure is too much to bear for some folks. Politico reports that: "Tragedy struck Freddie Mac Wednesday morning as Fairfax County, Va., police found the company's interim chief financial officer David Kellermann dead at his home, the victim of an apparent suicide.

Freddie Mac, the struggling mortgage giant, was taken over by the federal government in September. The news of Kellermann's suicide was first reported by WTOP radio in Washington.

Kellermann, 41, was the acting chief financial officer and senior vice president of Freddie Mac, and he had reported directly to CEO David Moffett, who resigned in March. Moffett, in turn, had only been in his position since September, receiving the job after the federal government took over the ailing company and ousted its leadership. "

Banks are still crying that the government restrictions are too tough to let them pay back the TARP funds without telling the government how they spent the money. President Obama is calling for the heads of the credit card companies to come to the White House, he plans to read them the riot act because they are raising their rates and enacting predatory lending practices again. Congress will only too happy to write sweeping new laws to regulate them if they don't want to get their act together. These bankers and Wall Street financiers are whining worse than our 12 year old granddaughter when I try to get her ready for school in the morning, and that's bad... Yet JP Morgan had a profitable quarter, and Colorado-based Wells Fargo had a record profit. Telcomm and technology stocks are leading in sales and stability, but Wall Street as a whole is still shaky. Where would you invest right now? For myself, it would not be with any company who's CEO made more in salary than the President of the USA...

While the world has been distracted by socialistic handshakes and fighting those pesky Somalians and their derring deeds, there has been much turmoil and social upheaval in Asia. The NY Times reports: "The Sri Lankan military said Wednesday its soldiers were fighting their way through a lethal and dwindling “no-fire zone” on the country’s northeastern coast — the last bit of territory held by separatist Tamil rebels — as thousands of civilians continued to stream out of the area.

The military said on its Web site Wednesday that 58,000 civilians had escaped overland from the former safe zone in the past two days, and 4,000 more had been ferried away in boats. Another 10,000 were gathering Wednesday to leave, the military said.

“It is 60,000-plus and counting, and we have heard various reports of up to 110,000 coming out,” said Gordon Weiss, a United Nations spokesman quoted by Reuters in the Sri Lankan capital of Colombo. Mr. Weiss emphasized that the U.N. reports could not be confirmed.

The exodus created a situation that the International Committee of the Red Cross said was “nothing short of catastrophic,” as tens of thousands more civilians remained in the zone, apparently trapped.
There is no reliable estimate of how many civilians remain in the area. Aid agencies guess there are 50,000 to 100,000." They have been trying for many years to get rid of the revolutionary Tamil Tigers, and the past couple months have decided to wipe them off of the face of the earth, pity for those who get in the way.

Also, my favorite country Thailand has been in the grip of violent protests, as the Asia Times reports: "Earlier this month, red-shirted demonstrators supporting former Thai prime minister Thaksin Shinawatra caused the cancelation of an Asian summit in Pattaya and disrupted daily life in parts of Bangkok in hopes of forcing the resignation of current Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva. This comes after the events of last November, when yellow-shirted demonstrators opposing the then-government of Thaksin's brother-in-law occupied government buildings and closed Bangkok's two international airports.

Thaksin lost the latest round of violence. Military forces contained the protests, forced the leaders to surrender or flee, and supplied buses to take rural demonstrators back home. But "victory" is surely only a respite, since the larger issues that are dividing Thai society and fueling the unrest remain unresolved. Power has already shifted back and forth three times since the September 2006 military coup, with enormous disruptions to Thailand's society, economy, and international standing.

Thaksin and Abhisit represent opposing forces, both claiming to promote democracy. Now living abroad to escape jail time for a conflict of interest conviction, Thaksin is the central, polarizing figure on the Thai political stage. A former policeman and telecom tycoon, he is the first Thai politician to fashion a power base independent of the traditional elite, Bangkok-centered institutions. He accomplished this by becoming a hero to many underprivileged Thais during the time he was prime minister through the lavish disbursal of money for rural health, education, and grants or loans to villages."

Late night jokes:

"There's been a lot of talk lately about lifting the trade embargo in Cuba. President Obama says he understands that a relationship that has been frozen for this long won't thaw out overnight, to which Hillary said, 'Tell me about it!'" --Jay Leno

"Well, as you know, President Obama's been reaching out to Iran, reaching out to Cuba, reaching out to Latin America. The only place he can't seem to be able to reach out to, Texas." --Jay Leno

"Despite Governor Rick Perry talking about how Texas could secede from the Union if it wanted to, 75 per cent of the people who live there want to stay in the United States. Of course they want to stay. I mean, after spending all that time and effort sneaking across the border to get here, why would they want to leave?" --Jay Leno

"And amid much criticism, President Obama has released top-secret terror memos from the Bush Administration. According to the memos, President Bush authorized various forms of torture, including waterboarding, sleep deprivation, and of course, the fourth hour of the 'Today' show." --Jay Leno

"And American hero, Captain Richard Phillips, who was recently captured by Somali pirates, flew home to Vermont over the weekend. Ironically, the movie on the plane, 'Pirates of the Caribbean.'" --Jay Leno

"Congratulations to 'The New York Times,' which won five Pulitzer Prizes today, including one for breaking the call girl scandal that ended Eliot Spitzer's career. And Spitzer won a prize for fiction, for the story he told his wife about the affair." --Jay Leno

"President Obama met with his entire Cabinet today. Well, sure, now that April 15th has passed, they've all come out of hiding." --Jay Leno

"Very exciting news. We have a Miss USA Her name is Kristen Dalton, and she is from North Carolina. She says she's now looking forward to one day being the Republican vice presidential candidate." --Jay Leno

"And a lot of people thought that Miss California lost the contest when she said she was opposed to gay marriage. So, apparently, she forgot who the audience is who watches beauty pageants." --Jay Leno

"It's hot here today in L.A. In fact, it was so hot, I called up the CIA and begged to be waterboarded." --Craig Ferguson

"It's 'Green Is Universal' week here at NBC and we're part doing our part here at 'Late Night.' In fact, the whole monologue tonight is recycled from Friday's show." --Jimmy Fallon

David Letterman's Top Ten Things Overheard in the Meeting Between Barack Obama and Hugo Chavez

10. Donde esta 'el Presidente dumb-ass'?
9. Sorry, Mr. President, they don't sell Marlboros here.
8. Let's get a picture of you shaking hands with Hugo Chavez to really piss off Rush Limbaugh.
7. Mr. Chavez, I have a book for you, too -- Artie Lange's "Too Fat To Fish."
6. Does this breakup mean Lindsay Lohan is back to dating guys?
5. Remember, you can't spell Hugo without "hug."
4. I can't believe they killed Edie on "Desperate Housewives."
3. Does Biden really think he's fooling anybody with those plugs?
2. I think there's one thing we can both agree on -- there's a new star in the
Hollywood galaxy by the name of Zac Efron.
1. Is it too late for me to buy your Senate seat?

Pye-ratical Solutions. US Has No Moral Legitimacy

David Brooks
Dana Millbank
Pulitzer Prize Winner Eugene Robinson

“The last people on Earth we need to worry about are our veterans. It’s insulting.” - John McCain

“Sorry to say, but it’s the reality we deal with. Nonetheless, I concede where some would interpret this report in that way.” - Janet Napolitano

One of my favorite columnists won a Pulitzer Prize yesterday, for his coverage of the historic Barack Obama campaign for the US presidency. One of the reasons I started providing links to columnists here was that my local paper stopped publishing the more moderate voices and went with those a lot closer to extremist views, and I wanted to provide an alternative outlet.

Also, the Truth-o-Meter won a Pulitzer, the first time a paper won for web content...

Link to impeach Federal Judge Jay Bybee who was an architect of the torture memos.

Our confiscated, seventeen-year-old Somalian pirate arrived in the US today, not in the way he probably dreamed of. The question is what will we do with him? Try him in court with Rush Limbaugh and Newt Gingrich as the prosecutors? Have an Iranian style trial that lasts all of 15 minutes? I know what his sentence should be: to foster with an American family and get a high school and college education, then send him back to his country, the best revenge.

The best solution I heard on what to do with the rest of the Somalian pirates: train them and hire them to patrol the seas for us. Let them hunt down other pirates and guarantee the safety of all boats passing through the Gulf of Aden. They get a steady paycheck, respect, and will ultimately help stabilize the area.

A more cynical approach is to develop the Somalian pirate experience into a tourist destination, similar to a Disney theme park. People can ride out with the pirates, eat goat as if they were real hostages, and especially for members of the EU, they'll dig up a 55 gallon barrel of nuclear waste that you can share and take some home with you, possibly to mail some to your favorite politician?

OK, we've had our two day whining about handshaking with cartoonish dictators and what that says about us as a country. What did you really expect, that Obama would look Chavez in the eye, and say "We will bury you?"As Josh Marshall from TPM puts it: "A bit of follow-up on right-wing paranoia about the Obama/Chavez meeting. I'm just watching Andrea Mitchell interview Michael O'Hanlon about whether President Obama showed some sort of dangerous weakness in happily shaking hands with Hugo Chavez. Mitchell played a clip of the always cartoonish Newt Gingrich and then noted that conservatives are drawing the analogy to John Kennedy's famous meeting with Nikita Krushchev in which the latter sized Kennedy up as a lightweight and -- so the argument goes -- thus believed he could push Kennedy around during the Cuban Missile Crisis.

Now, Kruschev? Really? I'm not sure I can imagine a better illustration of the sort of parodic paranoia I'm talking about. We do realize that the US has the most powerful military in the world and Venezuela has little ability to project military power beyond its own borders. It's a non-entity militarily, even compared to Iran and North Korea. Will he be emboldened into calling Obama el Diablo? Maybe provocatively give away more books?"

You know there's no way in hell we will win any war in Iraq, Afghanistan, or Pakistan, right? The UPI has a strategic analysis on why: "The reason is Israeli military historian Martin van Creveld's concept of the power of weakness and its intimate relationship with legitimacy.

American power lacks legitimacy because, on the physical level, it is so overwhelming.
That is the power of weakness: Anyone who stands up to the American military becomes a hero. In turn, any state the American military supports loses its legitimacy. The more places America intervenes militarily, the more states lose their legitimacy, to the advantage of non-state entities. In effect, the United States has a reverse Midas touch. Only a defensive grand strategy, where the United States minds its own business and leaves other states to mind theirs, can break the nation out of this downward spiral.

Second, we fight by putting firepower on targets. This wins at the physical level, but as it does so, it brings defeat at the moral level. The best current example is Pakistan, where the combination of Predator strikes and arm-twisting of the Pakistani government has undermined the legitimacy of the Pakistani state. That state now stands on the verge of disintegration, which would give al-Qaida and other Islamic forces the greatest victory they could imagine. The image on Osama bin Laden's cave wall should be a Predator, with the title, "Our best weapon."

Third, there is no chance the United States will adopt a defensive grand strategy or reform its military so long as the current Washington establishment remains in power."

Now that the followers of Sufi Mohammed have taken over the Swat Valley, which is similar to our Aspen, Colorado, his Taliban is seeking to spread sharia law to the rest of the country. In a recent interview with the India Times, spokesperson Muslim Khan evades whether he will hold up their end of the agreement: "Asked about religious hardliner Sufi Muhammad’s assurance that the Taliban in Swat would surrender their weapons once sharia is enforced in the region, Khan replied: “We don’t know about that because we are Pashtuns and any Pashtun has a gun”.

He indicated that Taliban would lay down arms only if the Islamic courts in Swat asked them to do so. “If the sharia regulation will call (on) us that Taliban you keep your arms, we will keep (them). If the order from Qazi courts is no, we will say no.” They are fighting a war over a way of life while we are fighting over more secular terms, nation-building. The way to win against the Taliban will have to come from within, using the will of the people and Islamic courts to begin ruling against their extremist views. Getting Saudi Arabia to denounce Wahabism would help, too...

Late night jokes:

"Texas Governor Rick Perry said the state of Texas could secede from the Union if it wanted to. Is that what we need, another foreign country on our southern border speaking a language we don't understand? Come on!" --Jay Leno

"Former President Bush wasted no time responding to this. He said, 'Wow, does that mean I get to be president again?'" --Jay Leno

"President Obama is visiting Mexico this week, where he's talking to President Calderon about poverty, drugs and violence. When he's done with that, he plans on talking about the problems in Mexico, too." --Jay Leno

"Secretary of State Hillary Clinton says the United States is now ready to talk to Cuba. You know what that means? Apparently, we are already interviewing replacements for Texas." --Jay Leno

"Here's a story that writes itself. People who contribute money to help Hillary Clinton pay off her presidential campaign are being offered the chance to spend a day with Bill Clinton. Yeah. ... No, that's real. All you have to be willing to do is write down everything Bill does and then report back to Hillary." --Jay Leno

"It's being reported a congressional aide caught a staph infection at the Congressional gym. Hey, let me tell you something. If that's all you catch from a congressman, consider yourself lucky." --Jay Leno

"Let me ask you something. Did you even know there was a Congressional gym? Have you seen your average congressman? Does Barney Frank look like he's been to the gym to you? No. I don't know who's using it." --Jay Leno

"Climate experts say we should tell villagers in developing countries to reduce the amount of cooking smoke they generate to help fix global warming. You know, it's as if these people don't hate us enough already. I mean, they live in mud huts, they have thatch roofs, their clothes are made of straw. We pull up in a bunch of Humvees and SUVs going, 'Hey, you want to cut the smoke out of here?'" --Jay Leno

"A 13-year-old boy in Peoria, Illinois, has been arrested and accused of robbing a bank. Well, the kid is obviously young and naive. He still thinks banks have money. You know how he got caught? ... He was Twittering 'I'm currently robbing a bank.'" --Jay Leno

"Nieman Marcus announced they're selling a diamond-studded dog collar for $3.2 million. Well, finally, it's nice to see one big company that's not out of touch with mainstream America." --Jay Leno

"More bad economic news. Southwest Airlines announced they lost $91 million in the first quarter. Now they say they're going to have to start cutting back. Cutting back? Have you ever flown Southwest, huh? What, are they taking the glass out of the windows?" --Jay Leno

"Bobby Jindal, the Republican governor of Louisiana, criticized Dick Cheney today, saying that he shouldn't question Obama's patriotism. In response, Cheney said, 'I respect your opinion. That's cool. Hey, would you like to go on a hunting trip this week?'" --Jimmy Fallon

"Ashton Kutcher, apparently, has been going it with CNN. He has been competing with them to see who can get to a million followers on Twitter first. I guess Ashton and CNN have been rivals since high school. Ashton won the race, and there was some back talk, some smack talk between him and Larry King, all in good fun. He and Larry are friends, their wives are the same age." --Jimmy Kimmel

"They're very competitive, and Ashton came out on top, so one million people are now following Ashton Kutcher's Tweets. Why would anyone want to be Ashton Kutcher's online friend? Haven't they seen what he does to his friends in real life? When a wrecking ball comes crashing through the windshield of your Honda Accord, don't be surprised. It was probably your new friend." --Jimmy Kimmel