Obama Back From Turkey, Kim Jong is Quite Il

Eugene Robinson
Bill Kristol
David Ignatius


“Moving the ship of state is a slow process. States are like big tankers. They’re not like speedboats.” - Barack Obama

"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office." - George W. Bush

OK... Guess I got the wrong picture, wrong President, wrong turkey... 

Obama delayed his trip home with a unannounced stop in Iraq, and a chance to talk with General Odierno and Iraqi officials, and speaking to about 600 troops. Politico reports: "Obama spoke for only six minutes, saying he wanted to spend more time shaking hands, then waded into the crowd of cheering troops."It makes me feel like he actually cares to where he'd come out here and talk to us," said Army Spec. Joshua Tisdale, 24, who also did a tour in Iraq in 2006-07, when violence there was far worse. " Of course, the real problem in Iraq and Afghanistan will be cleaning up the corruption and dishonest officials. Even Kharzai's brother is said to be part of the heroin trade... then, I can't be getting all holier-than-thou here, because there isn't one nation on this planet that doesn't have corruption. Ours almost broke the world's financial markets...

Did President Obama achieve his goals from his trip abroad? He certainly spoke to a wide variety of crowds, with a varying degree of success. From an LA Times Editorial: "Words matter, and the respect that Obama engendered on this trip is key to reclaiming U.S. global leadership. Obama even exercised that leadership when he gently scolded Europeans for espousing what he called casual but insidious anti-Americanism. He urged them to acknowledge "the fundamental truth that America cannot confront the challenges of this century alone, but that Europe cannot confront them without America." Obama's challenge is to transform that partnership into concrete support from the Europeans, who must rise to the occasion and no longer blame President Bush's unilateralism for their unwillingness to help." Only time will tell if old wounds began to heal. He is proving to be just as charismatic to other nations as he is here in the US, despite the whining from people far removed from the halls of power like Newt Gingrich. I'll expect a few " Whatever" 's from John Boehner...

David Corn substituted on Hardball yesterday and had this to report: "The North Koreans launch a missile that fails to place a satellite into orbit and what does former Reagan Pentagon official Frank Gaffney, Jr. say? That this episodes indicates that the evildoers of North Korea could be planning to hit the United States with a super-duper secret electromagnetic pulse weapon that would throw America back into the Stone Age, that the U.S. ought to hit Kim Jong Il hard before such a catastrophe happens (whether an attack on North Korea triggers a major war in Asia or not), and that President Barack Obama is planning to "submit" to the Taliban and Muslim nations. " The submitting reference is about Obama bowing to the King of Saudi Arabia. He didn't mention that both George Bush and Dick Cheney did the same thing when they met the King, which shows a teeny bit of bias here. And that many other folks have a rich fantasy life...

As to that missile launch, TPM reports: "The North Korean leader's satisfaction, as state news media explained it Monday, was in no way diminished by a worldwide expert consensus, based on tracking data, that the satellite did not go into orbit but plopped into the Pacific, where it apparently sank.

"It is a striking demonstration," Kim was quoted as saying, "that our scientists and technicians developed both the multistage carrier rocket and the satellite 100 percent with their own wisdom and technology and accurately put the satellite into orbit at one go." Its sad, how this guy has kept his country in poverty just to boost his paranoid ego. I'm surprised that some General hasn't thrown a toaster in his bathtub before now, it would sure save us all a lot of grief...

As for any real gains, Wired's Danger Room reports: "Kim Tae-woo, an analyst at South Korea's state-run Korea Institute for Defense Analyses, told the Associated Press the launch would also yield strategic dividends for North Korea, because it potentially raises the stakes in stalled nuclear disarmament talks."

Late night jokes:

"Yesterday, President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama met the Queen of England. As a gift, they gave the Queen an iPod. I guess she can use that while she's jogging. And she likes it. She said it's so much easier to use than that giant boom box she used to carry around." --Jay Leno

"So they gave the Queen an iPod. I remember when British Prime Minister Gordon Brown was here, the Obamas gave him a DVD box set. So, it looks like they're saving the big gift, the Nintendo, for the Pope." --Jay Leno

"Protesters in London tried to disrupt the G20 summit. One bank was overrun with anti-money demonstrators. And they kept shouting, 'Abolish money!' Luckily, they were beaten back by an outraged Heather Mills." --Jay Leno

"People in England are lining up by the thousands to see President Obama, because this is really different for them. They've never seen someone like him — a 47-year-old man with a full set of perfect teeth." --Jay Leno

"Do you know that over 500 administrative staff members traveled to London with the President? Not for the summit. They just want to be out of the country during tax time." --Jay Leno

"At the big G-20 summit, President Obama met with the Chinese president, and they had the traditional exchanging of gifts. The Chinese do that. They exchange gifts. President Hu Jintao gave President Obama a gift made in China, and President Obama gave Hu a gift from America made in China." --Jay Leno

"And things are not going well with this auto bailout. President Obama called from England today to check on the status of it. You know Joe Biden has not sold a single car? Not one car since this whole thing started." --Jay Leno

"How's this for hypocrisy? While Congress has been chastising companies for giving out bonuses, last year, members of Congress gave out over $9 million in bonuses, paid for by the taxpayer, to their staff. But Congress is saying they're not hypocrites because this extra money they give their staff really isn't bonus money. It's hush money. They just call it bonus money for legal reasons." --Jay Leno

"And months after Alaska Senator Ted Stevens was convicted for taking illegal gifts and lost his re-election, the Justice Department now wants all charges dropped. Apparently, there was such misconduct by the prosecution that he's going to be a free man and he gets to keep all the gifts. When he heard that, Rod Blagojevich announced he is moving to Alaska." --Jay Leno

"And the U.S. government has launched a Web site to help people deal emotionally with this economic crisis. The site is for people who experience depression, crying, and anxiety. In fact, the first person to log on the Web site was Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner." --Jay Leno

"I tell you, the economy's in rough shape. It's terrible. In fact, you know Snap, Crackle, and Pop? Well, they were arrested today for selling smack, crack, and pot." --Jay Leno

"And according to MSNBC, experts say insomnia can double your risk of suicide. Well, that'll help you fall asleep." --Jay Leno

"But this is a fascinating story. This C.E.O. at General Motors, largest corporation in the world, most powerful corporation in the world and they said, 'Okay, you know, we'll do business with you guys, but you, take a hike.' But they gave him $20 million to step down. And I'm thinking well, we should have tried that on Bush." --David Letterman

"It was a big day in London. President Obama met Queen Elizabeth and gave her an iPod with 40 Broadway songs loaded on it. Someone needs to tell Barack not all queens like show tunes." --Jimmy Fallon

"Hey, you know that new X-Men movie, 'Wolverine,' that's coming out this summer? The F.B.I. is investigating it. There's an HD version that was leaked online. As soon as the F.B.I. solves the case, they'll get back to looking for bin Laden." --Jimmy Fallon

North Korean Boys and Their Toys...

Wall Street Journal
Katrina Heuvel
Richard Wolf


" . . . The future must belong to those who create, not those who destroy. " - Barack Obama

"But then you say we are linked with the Taliban. The serving army people will say, 'To hell with them if this is what we are going to get after laying down more than 1,500 lives." - Pakistani General

So, you're the son of a dictator. Father dies, leaving you this poor, backwater country that has been subjected to nothing but paranoia for over 40 years. You're short, can't get dates, and every other country won't take you seriously, so what do you do? I know, lets launch a missile!

North Korea launched a communications satellite over the weekend, and it is circling the earth right now, broadcasting patriotic songs like " The Song Of General Kim Jong Il. " OK, the damned thing barely got off the ground, and fell into the Pacific. But, now you'll get some attention from that sexy Svetlana or the winsome Mei Ling, not to mention the admiration from all the other big boys. 

Instead, you get: "An emergency meeting of the United Nations Security Council to discuss North Korea's rocket launch has ended without agreement.
As divisions emerged, diplomats said the council would continue talks. It may take days for a deal, analysts say.
Washington and Tokyo are seeking a strong response, but Beijing and Moscow have called for restraint." Usually, when it comes to North Korea, China's advice is usually taken. And the big boys retaliate by taunting you over the fence, so that when the day is done, you are once again left alone to face the dark, with no-one to dispel those paranoid fantasies that grow larger and more luminous...

TPM had this: "Appearing on CNN's State of the Union, David Axelrod shot back at Dick Cheney's public criticism of the Obama administration: "And let me say, in contrast, how much we appreciate the way President Bush has behaved. He was incredibly cooperative during the transition. And when he left he said, 'I wish you guys the best. I'm rooting for you.' I believe that to be the case. And he's behaved like a statesman. And as I've said before, here and elsewhere, I just don't think the memo got passed down to the vice president."

And to counter attack, a good-old boy named Newt, you know, after the lizards, decided to play bully: "The U.S. is at greater risk of terrorist attack because of the Obama administration's actions, Newt Gingrich said Monday.

In a chat with POLITICO readers, Gingrich also called the administration’s response to the North Korean missile launch a “vivid demonstration of weakness in foreign policy.” He said Obama’s proposals for a resumption of nuclear arms limitation talks reflected “a dangerous fantasy that runs an enormous risk. ... Not since Jimmy Carter have we had an administration this out of touch with reality.”

“Dick Cheney is clearly right in saying that between the court decisions about terrorists and the administration actions, the United States is running greater risks of getting attacked than we were under President Bush,” said the former speaker of the House and Georgia congressman." Is Newt trying to position himself too early to be the burly man of the Republican Party? Mr. I-won't-divorce-my-wife-this-time-even-if-she's-dying-of-cancer-I-swear! Presidential hopeful? Next, we'll be hearing from the wisdom of John McCain...


Late night jokes:

"Barack Obama made his first trip as president to England. Here is my question. If the President is in England, who's running General Motors?" --Jay Leno

"As you know by now, the government is now taking an active role in the auto business. President Obama offering hope, change, and 0 percent financing." --Jay Leno

"You know what's interesting? Today, a reporter in Crawford, Texas, asked former President George Bush how he felt about General Motors and Bush said, 'You know, since I left office, I don't really follow the Iraq war anymore.'" --Jay Leno

"Actually, President Obama says that G.M. filing for bankruptcy may be the best alternative. He said that bankruptcy is a good legal tool for a company not to have to pay creditors back, which sounds great until you realize, hey wait a minute, we're the creditors! Great, so you want to help them not pay us back. I mean, even A.I.G. is going, 'Why didn't we think of this?'" --Jay Leno

"So, it's pretty crazy. Look, we're bailing out Wall Street, we're bailing out banks, we're bailing out car companies. In fact, did you know there's a special box on your tax form this year you can check if you want a portion of your taxes to actually go to running the government?" --Jay Leno

"And there was kind of an awkward moment yesterday as President Obama was leaving to go to the G-20 summit. Hillary Clinton called and said, 'Can I run the country while you're gone? Please, can I?'" --Jay Leno

"Thousands of people showed up in London to protest this G-20 economic summit. Protesters smashed windows at the Bank of Scotland. Did you see it on the news? The banks were closed. The windows were all boarded up. It looked like our banks." --Jay Leno

"Barack Obama met with the Queen of England today. There was one embarrassing moment when the Obamas were meeting the Royal Family. The Queen said, 'Have you met my son, Charles?' And the Obamas turned to Camilla and said, 'Yes, how do you do?'" --Jay Leno

"A British genealogist who traced President Obama's roots claimed Obama is related to the royal family. Well, did you see President Obama standing with Prince Charles? If those ears are any indication, I think they may be related." --Jay Leno

"And more embarrassment for the President. Just a few weeks after President Obama named Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius as his Health and Human Services nominee, she now reveals she owes over $7,000 in back taxes. Another one owes. See, that's the difference between the two political parties right there. Republicans believe in no new taxes. Democrats believe in no old ones." --Jay Leno

"Hey, you hear about this? A voice from the past, former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, who may run for president in 2012, that's the rumor, has converted to Catholicism. So after a number of affairs, two divorces, and three marriages, how would you like to get stuck behind him for that first confession, huh?" --Jay Leno

"And China says it wants to replace the U.S. dollar with a new global currency. They want to move from a gold-based standard to a lead-based standard." --Jay Leno

"And from the animal kingdom, it seems a loggerhead sea turtle nearly swam to the doorstep of a Florida Keys turtle hospital. This is the only licensed veterinary facility in the world that solely treats sea turtles. This turtle somehow knew to swim right up to the hospital. Isn't that amazing? Sad part, they had to turn him away when his H.M.O. wouldn't cover the visit." --Jay Leno

"By golly, you know what it is? April Fool's Day. Happy April Fool's Day, everybody. It is crazy when you think about it. Bush has only been out of office 10 weeks and he already has his own national holiday." --David Letterman

"A lot of excitement there, though, at the G20 summit. They are giving away a door prize. Yeah, this year, it's Iceland." --David Letterman

"I like to contrast what President Obama is up to and what John McCain, his opponent in the general election, is up to. For example, Obama met with 17 political leaders from 11 nations. He will attend five summits in different countries around Europe. Today, comparatively speaking, John McCain watched his 89 Caddy go through the car wash." --David Letterman

"It's a great day for our president, Barack Obama, who got to meet the Queen of England today. She very regally gave him a photograph of her, and he gave her an iPod! That's quite an unusual gift from the President. Usually he gives out about $150 million." --Craig Ferguson

Obama to Talk Turkey, Dilemma of Pakistan

Grenville Byford
Terry Goddard, AG of Arizona


"Ronald Reagan called for the abolishment of 'all nuclear weapons,' which he considered to be 'totally irrational, totally inhumane, good for nothing but killing, possibly destructive of life on earth and civilization.' " - Henry Kissinger, George Shultz, William J. Perry, Sam Nunn 

Tomorrow, Secretary of Defense Robert Gates will announce that some defense programs are going on the chopping block. Washington Monthly reports: "The programs many expect to face huge cuts or cancellation include the Army’s Future Combat Systems program; the Transformational Communications Satellite program; the Navy’s DDG-1000 destroyer program; and the VH-71 presidential helicopter program. Some cuts or procurement delays are also expected for the Joint Strike Fighter aircraft program.

Ballistic missile defense, which represents the Pentagon’s largest acquisitions program, also could be on the chopping block. Futuristic missile defense components are at particular risk, including the Airborne Laser Program, the Kinetic Energy Interceptor, the Space Based Interceptor, along with plans to begin construction on two missile defense sites in Eastern Europe.

Many observers on Capitol Hill are also anxiously awaiting what Gates might say about the fate of the Pentagon’s troubled effort to buy a new fleet of aerial refueling tankers, whether the new administration wants to build a new bomber aircraft, and whether the president wants to continue buying F-22 Raptor fighters."

President Obama is on his way to Turkey, for a historic moment being the first time an American President will speak in an Islamic country. Turkey was carefully chosen, not only to help solidify our relationship with it, but because it represents a melting pot of all Islamic cultures as well as integrating European influence. He is also hoping that Turkey will help open relations with its neighbors that we are not on good terms with, like Syria and Iran.

Grenville Byford writes in Newsweek: "The Bush administration spent years trying to isolate people the Turkish government thought should be engaged—Iran, Syria, Hizbullah, Hamas, to name a few. The Obama administration broadly endorses engagement. Turkish-American relations are therefore about to change from being good despite fundamental disagreement to being a genuine meeting of minds. Some people in Washington have been screaming that Turkey's increasingly good relations with the countries in its neighborhood means it is "turning away from the West." Apparently they view international relations as a form of monogamy in which it's evidently dangerous to go out on a date. In fact, international relations are like business partnerships. An extensive Rolodex greatly increases a partner's value.

President Obama's visit this week to Turkey will also be unusual because, for once, America wants more from Turkey than Turkey wants from America. Turkey will respond generously because Barack Obama is likely to be around for a long time, and he will certainly remember anyone who helped make his first major foreign trip a success."

The thornier problem is what will we do with Pakistan? It's the key to winning any kind of war in the region, yet its a conflicted mess, from the military that historically has supported the different Talibans, both philosophically and materially, to what is seen as a weakened and corrupt civil government. We cannot just go in and take over like we tried in Iraq, and we cannot just pour money in without seeing any material results.

There is a long article on the recent history of Pakistan in the NY Times: "Pakistan feels as if it’s falling apart. Last fall the country barely avoided bankruptcy. The tribal areas, which border on Afghanistan, remain a vast Taliban sanctuary and redoubt. The giant province of Baluchistan, though far more accessible, is racked by a Baluchi separatist rebellion, while American officials view Quetta, Baluchistan’s capital, as Taliban HQ. American policy has arguably made the situation even worse, for the Predator-drone attacks along the border, though effective, drive the Taliban eastward, deeper into Pakistan. And the strategy has been only reinforcing hostility to the United States among ordinary Pakistanis."

Its felt that the current Prime Minister is doing things similar to what George Bush did, surround himself with like-minded cronies, only his are slightly different: "The issue that comes up again and again is Zardari’s supplanting of competent figures in favor of a tight, and isolating, circle of loyalists, friends from prison days and family members. Rehmat Shah Afridi, the publisher of The Frontier Post, a former boon companion of Zardari and still, he says, a confidant, speaks much more fondly of Pakistan’s president than do many others. “He is a very good friend,” Afridi says. “He never thinks, You are a small man, or a poor man, and I am a big man.” But even Afridi says that Zardari’s fatal weakness is his habit of trusting his friends — or the wrong friends. He recalls visiting Zardari last spring and saying: “Please, Asif, who is on your left and right? If they did some good for you when you were in prison, give them some portfolio, but don’t put them in your kitchen cabinet.” Zardari, he says, “is surrounded by the most corrupt people, from Karachi and Khyber.” I asked Afridi why Zardari consorts with these characters. “Because,” he said, “they know how to butter him.”

The solution may be that we will have to wait until Zardari can be replaced: "American officials, increasingly convinced both that Zardari is not the interlocutor they had hoped for and that his days in power may be numbered, have begun to pay more attention to Sharif, long considered dangerously close to Islamist forces. Leading PML-N officials say they have learned from past mistakes. They have learned, for example, to accept an independent media and an independent judiciary. It’s not clear if Sharif himself has profited from experience. In the course of a phone conversation last week, he passed up all opportunities for self-scrutiny and advocated a response to terrorism that combined dialogue with tribal elders and economic and social development; military force was apparently not part of the equation." Until then, we won't be making progress, just pouring money down the rabbit hole and slowly turning the entire population of two more countries against us. We already tried bribing the Afghan Taliban, even invited some to a Texas barbecue; and when they said no, we invaded their country. Maybe if we legalize heroin so then we become their biggest customer, outbidding the Taliban for each crop of poppies, we shore them up economically and strengthen years of traditional agriculture...

Late night jokes:

"Hey, happy birthday, former Vice President Al Gore, who is 61 years old. And besides being Al Gore's birthday, it is also the 116th anniversary of the invention of the zipper, both of which played a major role in the Clinton Administration." --Jay Leno

"Let's see what's going on in Washington, or as they're now calling it, 'Survivor: Detroit!'" --Jay Leno

"As you know, economists have been predicting the U.S. auto industry would be in big trouble. See, that's why I have so many cars. I've been stockpiling. I was smart. I knew this would happen." --Jay Leno

"President Obama is giving General Motors 60 days to come up with strategy of viability for the American taxpayers' money. You know what G.M. should have said? 'Hey, you first.'" --Jay Leno

"Actually, President Obama guarantees that if you buy a G.M. or Chrysler product and they don't survive, they will back your warranty. Well, that's great news for consumers. Combine the efficiency of the Federal government with the honesty of car mechanics." --Jay Leno

"Actually, this is highly unusual for the government to take this kind of action. I mean, the closest the previous administration came to getting involved in the car industry was Bush using jumper cables to jump-start Dick Cheney's heart." --Jay Leno

"You know the big story yesterday? President Obama, he goes to the GM people and he says, 'All right, look, guys, do you want any more dough? You're going to have to get rid of your C.E.O., that Rick Wagoner. Tell him to take a hike and literally take a hike because he's not getting a car out of here.' So he's gone. So he gets dumped. In addition to getting dumped, he receives a $20 million bonus to resign. Let that be a lesson to you other two big carmaker heads." --David Letterman

"But Wagoner needs the $20 million because he got a G.M. car." --David Letterman

"But you know what he's doing there? It's the G20 summit, in which the 20 major economic powers get together and meet. And sadly, this year, the U.S. just missed the cut." --David Letterman

"But President Obama - this is going to be big, look for this announcement. President Obama is meeting with the Queen of England. He is going to ask her if she wants America back." --David Letterman

"I think Obama will have a great time in London. It's a lovely place. I used to live there. There are 12 million people in London and about 500 teeth." --Craig Ferguson

"Today, Salt Lake International Airport introduced a new X-ray machine at the airport that can see underneath your clothing. Security officials say this is necessary to make sure that no passengers smuggle on their dignity." --Jimmy Fallon

Wahabi Justice, More on those Wacky Palins

Ariel Cohen
Charles Blow
Paul Krugman
Kathleen Parker

"For the money Madonna would spend every year providing 24-hour nannies to raise a child, and lavishing it with private schools and the like, she could feed a village or a large orphanage for 20 years." - Diane Francis

"God apparently has his own stimulus plan." -Kathleen Parker

"What is Washington smoking now?" - Chuck Norris

President Obama is visiting the Czech Republic today. The anticipation is not great, in fact, the country is waiting to be embarrassed by its President Vaclav Klaus, he who said that the American stimulus plan was the road to hell... the NY Times reports: "And Obama's visit to Prague will feature only short meetings with the country's president and prime minister, both of whom have voiced strong opposition to the U.S. president's prescription of providing a stimulus to domestic economies through government spending. Instead, the president and first lady Michele Obama will opt for a private dinner with each other in Prague, the newspaper said.

"What should have been a moment of triumph in front of the world has become a moment of national humiliation," said Tomas Sedlacek, a former economic adviser to former Czech President Vaclav Havel. The Times said some Czech analysts were concerned that the undiplomatic Czech President Vaclav Klaus would lecture Obama on his vociferous opposition to state intervention in the economy." On the other hand, how nice to have an intimate dinner on Saturday in Prague, isn't there a song about that?

There has been this news article making the rounds here in the US, after a video was posted on the Wall Street Journal: "The whipping of a 17-year-old girl by Islamic extremists in the Swat Valley, broadcast repeatedly Friday on several Pakistani television news stations, renewed deep concerns over a peace deal made by the Pakistani government allowing the Taliban to rule that region.

The girl was accused of having an affair with her father-in-law because she was seen leaving a house accompanied by him. Under the Taliban brand of Islamic law in Swat, a married woman can be accompanied out only by her husband or a blood relative, said Muslim Khan, the group's spokesman. He said she was punished after an investigation, although she hadn't been tried in a proper Islamic court.

She "would have been stoned to death if there was a proper Sharia court," he told the private Geo News television station. "Nothing will deter us from enforcing Sharia rule." 

"This is the punishment that is written in the holy Quran." I sometimes wonder why we should care about such barbaric and ignorant people... Saudi Arabia has the same kind of religious police, and they can instantly arrest and try you on the spot if they deem that you are not following Islamic law in public. The current king is trying to get them to tone down their efforts since they have recently killed innocents in their over-zealous hounding...

The Huffington Post can dish it out; it often feels more like a tabloid than a news source, but they do have some interesting opinion pieces disguising as blogs. So, first is the preview of Levi Johnston on the Tyra Banks show: "Levi Johnston, ex-fiancee of famous teen mom Bristol Palin, admitted to Tyra Banks in an interview set to air Monday that the couple was not always practicing safe sex and says they shared a bedroom on occasion.

Johnston talks about his relationship with Sarah Palin's daughter next Monday on "The Tyra Banks Show." In a preview, Johnston tells the host that he and Bristol were practicing safe sex, and agrees that her pregnancy must have resulted from some sort of 'wardrobe malfunction.' But when pressed by Tyra, he admits that they used protection "most of the time" -- but not all the time. According to the show's website, Johnston also dishes to Tyra about being thrust into the spotlight at the Republican National Convention, and why his engagement with Bristol ended, what he really thinks of Governor Palin and what it's like to be a teen father."

Then, trying to put out the fire before it begins, the Palin family's paid pr flack said: "Bristol did not even know Levi was going on the show. We're disappointed that Levi and his family, in a quest for fame, attention, and fortune, are engaging in flat-out lies, gross exaggeration, and even distortion of their relationship," says the statement from the Palin family rep.

"Bristol's focus will remain on raising Tripp, completing her education, and advocating abstinence," the statement continues. "It is unfortunate that Levi finds it more appealing to exploit his previous relationship with Bristol than to contribute to the well being of the child."
And this will only continue after the show is aired. But, now that Levi won't get the money for marrying Bristol, and he has been fired from his job, he's gotta make some money to help in his mom's legal defense... This all may be the results of too much moose in your diet...

As one reader of Politico, LeviRules, said: "Did we ever find out where Levi got his new truck? The kid quit his job months ago, and with his mom's legal problems we know she didn't buy it for him. I'm betting the Palins bribed him to pretend to want to stay in school, get a good job and marry Bristol, for the campaign, offering him money. As soon as the campaign was over, he quits school, quits his job, and dumps the girl... after getting a new truck." And Sarah's sister-in-law was just arrested for burglary... Welcome  to Dogpatch, Alaska...

I found some jokes that are floating around Baghdad. From the BBC:

- A young guy was staring lasciviously at a pretty girl on a public minibus.
An older man, indignant at the youth's shameless behaviour, but not knowing how to intervene, called out "Allahu akbar" (God is great) in an attempt to bring the youth's mind back to more pious thoughts. Of course, all the other passengers drew the natural conclusion, that the old man must be a suicide bomber and the shout of "Allahu akbar" meant he, and they, were about to meet their maker.

The bus driver pumped the brakes and the passengers fled screaming in all directions.

- A guy with cross-eyes volunteers to join a militia group. They assign him to the random bombing unit.

- A Jordanian finds a magic lamp. A genie appears and asks him what is his heart's desire. "Send all these Iraqi refugees back across the border," the man says. "Why?" asks the genie. "Whatever have we done to you?"

- A Indian man is tossing and turning in his bed in the middle of the night in his hovel in the country's poorest slum, and then he wakes up screaming. "Oh God! Please! No!!!" he yells. "Calm down, darling. It's just a nightmare," says his wife. "You're right, my love," he says, catching his breath. "But what a nightmare - I dreamt I went to sleep and woke up in Iraq!"

If It Plays in Iowa... Palin Around

David Brooks
Dana Millbank
Eugene Robinson

"And so we need to once again decide, do we want to be free, or do we want to be slaves?" - Michele Bachmann

“My administration, is the only thing between you and the pitchforks.” - Barack Obama



The Iowa Supreme Court today ruled in a unanimous decision that gays have equal rights to marry and to ban that is unconstitutional. I warned the people of Colorado Springs, that if they wanted to solve their economic problems and become a major tourist spot, they needed to let gays marry here. Now they are all going to go to Iowa this summer and the Midwest will become revitalized, neighborhoods will be rebuilt to look like the Castro District in San Francisco, children will be wearing short shorts with hiking boots, and all of the police will take to wearing mustaches again... Maybe our own Ted Haggard will pack it up and move to Iowa for a brand new start. He can begin "preaching" again; you know you want to, Ted...

It's just too soon to be taking these polls, expecting George Bush's rating to go up. We may have to wait several generations, just like the kids today think we're sick revering the memory of Ronald Reagan... From TPM: "A new Gallup poll tests how former President George W. Bush and former Vice President Dick Cheney have fared in public opinion since they left office. The answer: Badly.

Bush's favorable rating is only 35%, with 63% unfavorable. Cheney is at 30% favorable to 62% unfavorable.

Bush's popularity had been inching up a bit over the course of the 2008 campaign and as he was on the way out -- up to a high of 40% favorable and 59% unfavorable in early January -- but his numbers now are back near the all-time low of 32% favorable and 66% unfavorable from April 2008."

Now, we come to the twisted kind of scenario I truly love, because Sarah Palin is starring in it. that's right, its all about her! No, its not Levi johnston appearing on the Tyra Banks show this coming Monday, will he break the oath of confidentiality he had to sign, or will he dish it out?

The charges against Ted Stevens have been dropped, and now everyone is acting like he is innocent, and wasn't a bribe taking, ethically challenged Senator. The Alaskan Republican Party has asked the winner of the election that Ted lost, Mark Begich, to resign and let Ted take his seat back. And, as Politico reports: "Gov. Sarah Palin (R-Alaska) called on Sen. Mark Begich (D-Alaska ) Thursday to step down from his seat and run in a special election in the wake of the Justice Department’s decision to drop corruption charges against former Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska). Begich narrowly defeated Stevens in 2008, a contest overshadowed by Stevens’ October conviction.

Palin’s call came after a reporter at the Fairbanks News Miner emailed her a copy of a statement by Alaska Republican Party Chairman Randy Ruedrich calling for Begich to step down.

Asked for her response, Palin simply wrote back: “I absolutely agree.”

When the reporter wrote back to confirm that Palin meant she’d like to see Begich resign in order to hold a special election, the governor responded: “Yes.”

When asked for his opinion, "Alaska Rep. Don Young wants Stevens to run for governor — a move that would set up a Republican primary between the veteran lawmaker and Sarah Palin, if she decides to seek a second term in 2010.

"Personally I'd like to see him run for governor, and that's my personal feeling," Young told the Alaska Public Radio Network on Thursday. "So, we'll see what happens down the line. He probably won't, but I think that would be a great way to cap off a great career as being the governor of the state of Alaska."

"Sen. Begich, in all due respect, won the race," he said. "There is no other recourse. He has taken office, he is now the new senator." Needless to say, Don and Sarah are not on the best of terms, but since they are both Republicans, we can call them frenemies...

A reader from the Alaska Dispatch had this comment on all of this fun: "It would be amusing to hear her give credit to the Obama Administration for upholding the U.S. Constitution and dropping the charges as well as setting aside the conviction, but lightning isn't going to strike twice in one day. "

And, this is what Democrat Mark Begich had to say: "Assuming this morning's media reports are accurate, the decision by President Obama's Justice Department to end the prosecution of Senator Ted Stevens is reasonable. I always said I didn't think Senator Stevens should serve time in jail and hopefully this decision ensures that is the case. It's time for Senator Stevens, his family and Alaskans to move on and put this behind us."

Late night jokes:

"Big day in Detroit. You may have heard about this. The Obama Administration asked General Motors C.E.O. Rick Wagoner to step down, and he agreed, which is good news for Obama. You know, the last time he tried to get someone to quit, it took months. And even then, he had to promise her a job as Secretary of State." -Jay Leno

"According to the government, Rick Wagoner was forced to resign because of poor performance. That's embarrassing. You run an organization that loses billions of dollars and then get fired by a guy who heads up an organization that loses trillions of dollars." --Jay Leno

"Here's the part I find odd. Now, the government didn't ask any of those Wall Street C.E.O.s to quit. Isn't that kind of a double standard? I mean, if you build Cadillacs, you're screwed. But if your chauffeur drives a Cadillac, you're okay. Whew!" --Jay Leno

"And listen to this. I guess they're going to, like, be in the car business. President Obama said the United States government will stand by your car's warranty. Assuming, of course, the government is still around in five years." --Jay Leno

"And in a speech in Anchorage, Alaska, Sarah Palin took kind of a cheap shot at her former running mate, John McCain. She said she couldn't find anyone to pray with during the campaign. She's not the only one. Between Jesse Jackson and Reverend Wright, Obama couldn't find anybody to pray with either." --Jay Leno

"And Republican Congressman Peter King says he's very upset that Notre Dame, where he went to law school, is giving an honorary degree to President Obama, even though Obama is pro-choice. He said that giving Obama an honorary degree is putting him in an exalted position. Really? Isn't he President of the United States? You think that little certificate from Notre Dame is going to push him right over the top?" --Jay Leno

"Right after the announcement, Wagoner hopped on his private jet and flew to the unemployment office." --David Letterman

"Now here's a story. A guy in Brazil goes spear fishing, and he accidentally gets shot in his own head with the spear. Well, they operate on the guy. He's unconscious. They pull the spear out and he's going to be fine. And you know the first thing he said when he came to was, 'Well, that's the last time I go spear fishing with Dick Cheney.'" --David Letterman

"We're down to the Final Four now. And by that I mean we're down to the last four working banks in America." --Craig Ferguson

"Today, President Obama announced he is using his own money to redecorate the White House. Meanwhile, he is using taxpayers' money to redecorate the houses of A.I.G. executives." --Craig Ferguson

"MTV, Music Television, is putting actual music videos back on their network. If it works, Fox News said they'll start doing actual news again." --Craig Ferguson

"Barack Obama is taking his first overseas trip as president tomorrow. He is headed to the G20 economic summit. And he's been rehearsing his opening line to foreign leaders. 'Hi, I'm not George Bush. Hi, I'm not George Bush.'" --Jimmy Fallon

"Did you hear this? Some guy is selling a video of Joe Biden's daughter snorting cocaine. I'm not really interested in that. I mean, if I want to see video of a rambling, incoherent Biden, I'll just turn on CNN." --Jimmy Fallon

"Environmentalists say this weekend's Earth Hour was a huge success. An estimated 1 billion people plus turned off their lights, TVs, and appliances from 8:30-9:30. What's interesting is that during this hour, NBC's ratings actually went up." --Jimmy Fallon

"Fox News launched a new editorial website today that is based solely on reporters' opinions, not on the facts of the stories themselves. They're calling the site Fox News." --Jimmy Fallon

G20 Party, Avigdor Lieberman Call Home...

Karl Rove
David Broder
E J Dionne

"If the Republicans can't break out of being the right wing party of big government, then I think you would see a third party movement in 2012." - Newt Gingrich


Instead of gushing or panning what Michelle Obama wore today, or commenting on the protestors trashing the city of London, some real trash talking took place at the opening of the G20 conference today. The Guardian reports: "The G20 today agreed an economic recovery package of more than $1tn and new regulations for financial institutions, aimed at helping to pull the world out of recession and restoring confidence in a discredited global banking system.

Gordon Brown, hosting the summit of world leaders in London, outlined six points agreed by world leaders in London, including measures to stimulate growth, to kick-start global trade and to crack down on tax havens. Brown said the plan would not bring the economic crisis to an instant end, but "we've begun the process by which it will be solved".

He announced a new financial stability board that would ensure cross-border cooperation and new rules on pay and bonuses that "reflect actual performance with no more rewards for failure". Brown also said leaders had agreed to try to kick-start the stalled Doha round of trade talks and had pledged $250bn of trade finance over the next two years." The next piece of news will probably come from Germany or the Czechs, grousing how this plan sucks eggs. In reaction, the Dow has gone up a bit today and is interpreted as being good news.

Barack Obama is taking a safe strategy, having as many meetings with world leaders as he can, and listening to them tell their concerns, just like he originally tried with Congressional Republicans. Unlike the Republicans, who slapped him in the face, he is getting a better reaction, building bridges that may lead to peace talks and negotiations with countries like North Korea and Iran. Party on, dudes!

A spanner in the works is the new Foreign Minister of Israel, Avigdor Lieberman. He is Russian, his occupation was as a bouncer before he emigrated, and he is so far to the right that he doesn't need sheets for his bed. He is the love child of Joe the Plumber and Tom Tancredo...
Al Jazeera reports: "Israel's new foreign minister has said that the government is not bound by the agreement reached at the Annapolis conference in the US in 2007, which provides for a Palestinian state.

Avigdor Lieberman, leader of the ultra-nationalist Yisrael Beitenu party, made the remarks at a handover ceremony at the foreign ministry on Wednesday, the day after a new broad coalition government was sworn in. "There is one document that obligates us - and that's not the Annapolis conference, it has no validity," he said."The Israeli government never ratified Annapolis, nor did parliament."

Lieberman said that Israel would, instead, follow the course set out in the so-called "road map", which made the creationg of Palestinian state contingent on the Palestinians halting violence against Israel.

In Annapolis, Israelis and Palestinians tried to get past this issue by pledging to address "final status" issues that would resolve decades of conflict by establishing an independent Palestinian state on lands currently occupied by Israel. The Israeli foreign minister also criticised the negotiations with the Palestinians that followed the agreement, saying that concessions would bring war rather than peace.

"Avigdor Lieberman clearly has problems with his medium-term memory as he was actually at a cabinet meeting in December 2, 2007 at which that agreement was ratified," Al Jazeera's Jacky Rowland, reporting from Jerusalem, said. "However, he did storm out of the meeting before the vote took place. "What we seem to be seeing is the right-wing members of the new government trying to distance themselves from this very important agreement which was sheperded in by the Bush presidency and this will be met with some consternation by Barack Obama [Bush's successor]." Schooled by an al Jazeera reporter... Like all new dogs, Lieberman is pissing around and trying to establish his mark. But now Benjamin Netanyahu can let him be the rabid one, while in contrast, he seems like the sane one. It marks the death of many more native Palestinians...

TPM has this interesting piece on a study of defense contractors from the last 15 years. "Proven cases of fraud and corruption cases dropped suspiciously among defense contractors even as funds for defense contractors rose dramatically since 1993, according to a Center for Public Integrity study. The study showed that even as defense contracting doubled from the beginning of Bill Clinton's first term to the end of George W. Bush's second term (from $200B to $400B), proven cases of contracting fraud decreased 76 percent. An FBI spokesman said that the terror threat took resources away from efforts to oversee defense contractor fraud." Back in the 70's there was an outrage over rampant contractor fraud, charging the Army $110 for a toilet seat was used as an example. During the last eight years no-bid contracts became fashionable, with no oversight on how well things were carried out. KBR has been charged with faulty electrical wiring at facilities for soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan, resulting in the electrocution deaths when soldiers went to take a shower...

Ordering a Pizza from Big Brother

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your..."

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."

Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas..."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "Damn. What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it"

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What's the damage?"

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn"

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd be using it."

Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "No, nothing. oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics."

Stevens Set Free, Bachmann's Brainfreeze, McCain's Budget

Judd Gregg
Nicolas Sarkozy

“You know, maybe that’s what’s wrong with me — I don’t read off what my press secretary says.” - Sen. Chuck Grassley

“They won the election, so they get to draft the budget,” - Sen. Jon Kyl

Congress does seem to find a way to protect their own...
The big shocker this morning is the Justice Department dropping all charges against Alaska's ex-Senator Ted Stevens. Seems the Bush administration's prosecutors were pretty incompetent, and made errors that even the jury found and had to correct them. TPM reports: "During the trial, Sullivan chastised prosecutors several times for such errors. More recently, the Justice Department was forced to disclose a memo written by an FBI agent who complained of the same things. Sullivan recently held several prosecutors in contempt for failing to comply with a court order. Six members of that prosecution team then withdrew from the case in matters dealing with allegations of misconduct.

In a statement, Attorney General Eric H. Holder Jr. said: "After careful review, I have concluded that certain information should have been provided to the defense for use at trial. In light of this conclusion, and in consideration of the totality of the circumstances of this particular case, I have determined that it is in the interest of justice to dismiss the indictment and not proceed with a new trial."  Ted lost an election shortly after being indicted, so we'll see if he then sues the US government for interfering and influencing an election. Most of Congress sighed in relief, since so many of them constantly violate the ethics rules. On to Larry Craig!

Most Congress people don't get out that much, tend to live in their own cloistered world. Miche;e Bachmann is living in her own private universe and we can only peek in. She is still hung up on this single currency thing, so much so that she is now trying to sponsor a constituional amendment. I don't know if anyone has told her this is not an issue and that she had misunderstood the intentions of the Chinese finance minister. Maybe nobody has tried to correct her, wanting to see how far she can go to make a fool out of herself, strictly  for the entertainment factor...

TPM reports that: "Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) appeared on Glenn Beck's TV show yesterday, to talk up her proposed constitutional amendment to stop the Obama administration from replacing the dollar with a global currency:

Bachmann boasted that she's picked up 30 cosponsors so far, to which Beck replied: "I can't believe that you've only got 30 cosponsors. I mean -- how is it you could walk around going, "I just -- this is just, hey, save the dollar.' And only 30 people are willing to say, 'Eh that sounds like a good thing, let's give that a shot.'"

Bachmann's proposed constitutional amendment states: "The President may not enter into a treaty or other international agreement that would provide for the United States to adopt as legal tender in the United States a currency issued by an entity other than the United States."
One of those 30 co-sponsors is Colorado Spring's own Doug Lamborn. I'd love to see his response if someone will call him up and ask why he is supporting this wack job...

The Republicans were supposed to reveal their own alternative budget today, as promised by John Boehner, but the man is keeping a low profile and slinking away from all media. However, the issue is not dead, as CQ Politics reports: "Republican leaders in the Senate are clashing with John McCain , their party’s 2008 presidential nominee. He wants to offer an alternative to the Democratic budget and they don’t. The behind-the-scenes battle is part of a larger split in the Republican Party.

Some in the GOP believe their best strategy is to resist President Obama’s agenda and take carefully chosen shots through amendments they all agree on; others want the party to do more to demonstrate how a Republican imprint would be different.

 McCain appears to be in the minority among Republicans, most of whom seem unwilling to stand behind a full-size alternative to the Democrats’ budget (S Con Res 13). Republicans who support offering their own budget say the GOP missed opportunities to define its priorities on the stimulus (PL 111-5), the catchall appropriations law (PL 111-8) and the Troubled Asset Relief Program (PL 110-343).

“We continue to be deemed the party of no,” McCain spokeswoman Brooke Buchanan said. The McCain plan “at least provides an alternative and outlines the issues that are important to the Republican Party.” I sometimes wonder what shape we would be in if John McCain had won, with Phil Gramm as Secretary of the Treasury, there would be no bailouts or stimulus, the financial markets would never get regulated, and John would be buying cheap houses in Arizona... OK, there was something released, based on tax cuts and privatizing medicare...

Late night political jokes:

"In a recent interview Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle said that American politics is becoming meaner and meaner. After hearing this top Republicans said that Daschle makes a good point for a guy who's ugly and probably gay." —Conan O'Brien

"Democratic leader Tom Daschle has been whining all over TV, saying that Rush Limbaugh and other talk show hosts have been inciting violence against Democrats. Which is illegal you know, attacking an endangered species." —Jay Leno

"The Democrats have selected Boston, Massachusetts, as the sight of their 2004 Democratic Convention. The convention will be held in September. This way the Red Sox and the Democrats can face mathematical elimination together." —Jay Leno

"Because the election was such a disaster for the Democrats, it looks like the leader of the party might be stepping down. But enough about Barbra Streisand." —Jay Leno

"In Ohio, some people will be going to the polls to re-elect disgraced Congressman James Trafficant, even though he's currently in prison. I guess if he's a congressman and already in jail, it saves a step." —Jay Leno

"Robert Torricelli, a powerful fund-raiser who helped raise more than $100 million for the Democratic party, took inappropriate gifts from a businessman, including an $8,000 gold Rolex watch, for which he was severely admonished by the Senate Ethics Committee in July. To recap: raising $100 million in contributions from gigantic corporations — ethical; taking a watch — unethical. That's the Senate Ethics Committee, an oxymoron since 1974." —Jon Stewart

"Here's a great story, incoming Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist, he's driving on vacation in Florida, saw an SUV that overturned on the highway, stopped, got out of the car, jumped over and helped the victims until the paramedics arrived. In fact, this is being called the closest thing Republicans have ever had for providing health care to people. He was not the only senator who stopped at the accident. John Edwards the trial lawyer stopped and chased the ambulance all the way to the hospital." —Jay Leno

"Don't count Traficant out though. He said he's going to run from prison. When you think about, that's about the best place to put together a political team. Look at who you've got in there, fellow politicians, corporate executives, legal advisors, financial geniuses, it's just like the outside." —Jay Leno

"Today is the anniversary of the Watergate break-in. That's the day the Republicans tried to steal the Democrat's plans. That's also the last time the Democrats had any plans worth stealing. It's also the last time a Republican president had a plan and actually carried it out." —Jay Leno

"Did you see Carter and Castro meeting together — dining together? The last time a president embraced a Cuban like that he got impeached." —Jay Leno

"The Democrats said today that if they were in power they could get Israel to pull out of Palestine. Oh shut up. They couldn't even get Bill to pull out of Monica." —Jay Leno


"California Governor Gray Davis is returning a $10,000 campaign contribution when he found out it was from the owners of a strip club. To his credit, he's going to return the money to the girls one dollar at a time." —Jay Leno

"Former Attorney General Janet Reno is talking about running for governor in Florida. Janet Reno is so unpopular in the state of Florida they will not even need to use the crooked voting machines." —David Letterman

"Jesse Jackson's in trouble. They're going after this tax thing. Jesse said he will amend his taxes to show the money that he paid to his mistress. See, he has just one mistress. Jesse uses the standard mistress deduction. As opposed to Clinton, who had to itemize." —Jay Leno

"It seems Monica Lewinsky is on the loose again, teaming up with HBO to do a documentary about her affair with Bill Clinton. It's not really a documentary. It will be more of an oral history." —Jay Leno

"A student from the University of Washington has sold his soul on eBay for $400. He's a law student, so he probably doesn't need it, but still, that's not very much. Today, Hillary Clinton said, 'Hey, at least I got some furniture and a Senate seat for mine." —Jay Leno