Cures for All-American Racism

Along with most of the country, I was alarmed by the blatant hate shown in the rally in Charlottesville, and have been musing on ways to effectively counter the racist bastards. Because I had spent many years in California, I naively thought we were past this kind of bigotry. It wasn't until I moved to Colorado and was called a racist myself, that I realized we still had a long ways to go... Unfortunately, racist bastards include members of my own family, who follow the sociopathic trail of life... it, too, can be crunchy like granola...


We can begin at the state and Federal level, by requiring anyone who wishes to run for political office must take and pass a basic citizen knowledge test. If we require immigrants who want to become citizens to pass a test, then it should be required for our politicians, along with exhibiting basic writing and reading comprehension skills. Then, people like Paul Ryan wouldn't be considered smart for reading Ayn Rand back in college, or Donald Trump, who hasn't read a book in over forty years. I want to support someone who can read off of a teleprompter like my favorite news journalists do on tv...

Now, on to the blatant pigeon-holing of behavior. It's thought that the majority of our white

supremists live rural areas, and that 68% of suicides by males in those rural areas are done by men who shot themselves with a gun. We can help tweak those numbers a little by going through the phonebooks and making sure every Bubba and Ricky-Bobby owns a handgun. Send them one with the phrase "To kill yourself" etched along the barrel. Accompany the gun with a couple cases of Jack Daniels, and they will be shooting themselves on every hard-luck Friday night. Why wait until they die from old age, show how they are impotent right now...

Then, we limit access to Bubba's computer, every time he tries to go to a porn site, he always ends up at an all black site or an inter-racial site. Yeah, sitting around his computer, drinking lots of Jack, and a gun hinting at what you need to do because you'll never be able to compete and satisfy your woman like those dicks on that pornsite can, way bigger than your tiny dick and tiny hands, with the results being full emergency rooms up and down the Virginia, Carolina, Georgia, and Florida coastlines...

Or, we can invest a little now to help eradicate the culture of hating others in the future. One, we make sure that all rural areas have access to the Internet and children can navigate on their own. Second, we offer free college education to the children of racists and cut the generational links. I would like to offer literacy courses to the younger racists, hey, why not give them a college education, too. After all. the goal is to expand their minds, and if that doesn't work, we just start slipping some LSD into their coffee...

Last, we can have corporate and commercial America twist their message and meaning around, in movies, ads, and commercials. That's why we have the tiki torch as the symbol for today's white fascist, and we have the crying Nazi on a commercial for Depends, and more musicals like Springtime for Hitler... if that doesn't work, we will be forced to use Daenery's Dragons...