Thursday, August 30, 2012

Republican Convention

"They’re all going down to Tampa where an Evangelical party is going to nominate a Mormon and a Catholic and then get wiped out by a hurricane…leaving Florida to the Jews as God intended." – Bill Maher
"Some of the Republicans, I think, are over-reacting to Hurricane Isaac — like today Rick Santorum was seen gathering up two of every animal." – Jay Leno

"Herman Cain was in Tampa. When a reporter asked him if Isaac reminded him of Katrina, he said, 'I never even met the woman.'" – Jay Leno

"It seems the GOP has placed 13,000 umbrellas in bins outside the hall for people to use. Delegates can't bring them inside for security reasons, so after you use the umbrella, you drop it off for the next person to use. That sounds like creeping socialism." – Jay Leno




I've spent the last two nights listening to the speeches from the Republican Convention in Tampa, Florida. Because the program on the first night was canceled because of Hurricane Isaac,we missed the spectacle of Donald Trump hiring a Barack Obama look-a-like and then getting to tell him that he's fired on the convention stage...

Tuesday's speeches got off to a rocky start, with the best one given by Anne Romney. She proved personable even though she failed to make her husband seem more human. It's nice to know that he still makes her laugh, but that was the deepest revelation she gave us. Perhaps they have an equally shallow relationship, communicating with each other in thumbnail sketches instead of real emotions... Anne also made an attempt to connect to the other women in the hall, evidently she is the Republican response that their isn't a war on women. I would have been more impressed if she handed out some of those Mormon Church's official condoms and dental dams... The keynote speech was given by Chris Christie, who gave an aggressive and self-absorbed speech, finally condescending to mention Mitt Romney after 16 minutes had gone by. Who would guessed that New Jersey was so fascinating? The New Jersey economy is failing under Mr Christie's bluster, and unemployment has increased by over a million more people.

The Romney camp has decided to slight a few fellow conservatives, neither Dick Cheney, George Bush, or Sarah Palin were invited to the convention. It was feared that Cheney might have shot Paul Ryan in the face, then tried to get himself on as the VP choice. Sarah Palin would have energized the crazy element and distracted the energy away from Romney, who really can't compete with anyone with charisma. And, of course, George Bush wasn't welcome because he would have made people remember that the problems we have are not all Obama's fault...

Each speaker had to mention the catch-phrase "we built it" or get demerits. The phrase is a misconstruction from an Obama speech, taken out of context, and then repeated so many times that it is a meaningless cliche. Obama himself was paraphrasing Elizabeth Warren when she said last year: “There is nobody in this country who got rich on his own — nobody!” she said. “You built a factory out there? Good for you. But I want to be clear: You moved your goods to market on the roads the rest of us paid for; you hired workers the rest of us paid to educate; you all were safe in your factory because of police forces and fire forces that the rest of us paid for. ...
“You built a factory, and it turned into something terrific or a great idea? God bless. Keep a big hunk of it. But part of the underlying social contract is, you take a hunk of that and pay forward for the next kid who comes along.”


The most intelligent and elegant speech was given by Condoleezza Rice, who emphasized the importance of a good education and the importance that immigrants give to our diversity, not the biggest applause of the night, and a bit subversive. I'm sure that there were a few delegates having buyer's remorse over Mitt, saying we coulda nominated a Condi...

The scariest speech was given by John McCain, who has become such a hawk that he'd have us at war with six more Middle Eastern nations. Of course, his anger is rooted in losing the last presidential election, and now has become a bitter, bitter man.

The most attention will be given to Paul Ryan's speech, which set the delegates into an uproar. They loved him, even when his facts were incorrect. His delivery was spot on, and his speech was written by two of the best Republican speechmakers in the business. Two things he's going to have to correct, are the weird noises he makes in his throat after delivering an emotional line, and the black shoe polish that he put in his hair, which makes him look like a teenage boy who got into his mother's makeup bag... What bothers me the most were the blatant factual lies in his speech while purporting to be truthful and honest. This type of hypocrisy is distressing in someone so young, and if this kind of amoral behavior takes ahold among the younger generation of politicians, it signals more than the death of the Republican Party, but the death of all politics as we know it... even Ron Paul had to flee Tampa back to Texas...

Tomorrow Mitt will give his acceptance speech, and they have been hinting at a mystery guest, one that will make Obama angry. Let's hope that it is someone more than Clint Eastwood or Donald Trump and the fake Obama stand-in guy...


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