Saturday, March 17, 2012

Where I Steal Material From Other Writers...

“Happy birthday to Mitt Romney, he’s 65 years old. At his party, he didn't blow out the candles. He gave a speech and the candles just flickered and died.” – Jay Leno

“Romney's birthday is not a big deal here. But in the Cayman Islands, it's a national holiday.” – Jay Leno
"Not a good week for Rush Limbaugh either. His approval rating has dropped 9 percent in the last month to an all-time low of 41 percent. In fact, if this keeps up, the White House said they may have to fish out bin Laden and shoot him all over again." – Jay Leno

Sorry that I haven't published in a few days, I got interested in several books from the library and powered through reading them. Fortunately, or unfortunately, there are several more books in the series waiting for me, but I will try to get interested in the news in-between novels...

Joshua Keating tells the story in Foreign Policy, of the special yacht that was being built for Moammar Qaddafi's son, Hannibal, when construction was interrupted by the destruction of the Libyan government. The yacht was being built on a lavish and grand scale, with marble columns and a huge shark tank, that would include its own feeding station staffed by four marine biologists. It fires the imagination with cool images of a super villain feeding his enemies to the sharks while cruising and partying around the Mediterranean. The ship was bought by a cruise ship line, who is tearing out the shark tank among other over the top luxury items. Joshua laments: "The ship has been bought by MSC Cruises, a major cruise line, which is being a total killjoy and taking out the shark tank and redecorating. “I personally don’t know why, but he wanted a shark tank,” said MSC CEO Pierfrancesco Vago, who has apparently never seen a James Bond movie..."

The FP web site has been spammed and the comments section is filled with offers to own your own web site by paying this company money, but one comment on this story found its way to be published, and it's as amusing as the original: "Let me get this straight. We finally have an honest-to-goodness James Bond supervillain yacht, complete with sharks (and who knows, maybe sharks with Frickin' Laser Beams attached one day),'s being dismantled? Not even being blown up in dramatic fashion by a British superspy and his girl-of-the-movie, jumping past the fireball into a waiting Zodiac? Just...taken apart for tour use?

Why, cruel world? Why?"

From the website Yolo comes a list why our freedoms are being co-opted. The site likes to make lists, and you may not agree because much of their humor isn't very funny, but here it goes:

#1 One California town is actually considering making it illegal to smoke in your own backyard.

#2 In Louisiana, a church was recently ordered to stop giving out water because it did not have a permit to do so.

#3 In the United States it is illegal to operate a train that does not have an “F” painted on the front. Apparently without that “F” we all might not know where the front of the train is.

#4 In many U.S. states is it now illegal to collect rain that falls from the sky on to your own property.

#5 In America today it is illegal to milk your cow and sell the milk to your neighbor. If you do this, there is a good chance that federal agents will raid your home at the crack of dawn.

#6 In Washington D.C. it is illegal not to recycle cat litter.

#7 It is illegal to give a tour of the monuments in Washington D.C. without a license.

#8 In the United States it is illegal to sell natural cures for cancer – even if they work.

#9 In the state of Massachusetts it is illegal to deface a milk carton.

#10 In the state of Alabama, bear wrestling is completely illegal.

#11 In Fairbanks, Alaska it is illegal to give alcoholic beverages to a moose.

#12 In Lake Elmo, Minnesota it is illegal to sell pumpkins or Christmas trees that are grown outside city limits.

#13 There is a federal law that makes it illegal to be “annoying” on the Internet.

#14 If you register with a false name on MySpace or Facebook you could potentially “spend five years in federal prison“.

#15 In Hazelwood, Missouri it is illegal for little girls to sell girl scout cookies in the front yards of their own homes.

#16 All over the United States lemonade stands run by children are being shut down because they do not have the proper permits.

#17 In Florida, it is illegal to bring a plastic butter knife to school.

#18 In San Juan Capistrano, California it is illegal to hold a home Bible study without a “conditional use permit“.

#19 In the city of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania it is illegal to make even a single dollar from a blog unless you buy a $300 business license.

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