Mullen Over the Pakistani Problem, Putin's Latest Mob BFF's And Woody Allen

Kathleen Parker
Larry Flynt
Paul Krugman

"North Korea has shut down all of its universities for 10 months so students can work in factories. Or, as they call it in North Korea, 'spring break.'" – Conan O'Brien

"Rev. Pat Robertson says that if more states legalize gay marriage, God will destroy America. He did say that afterwards, gays will come in and do a beautiful renovation." – Conan O'Brien

"A lot of people are taking time off for the holidays. For instance, Rod Blagojevich is going away for a while." – David Letterman

With each public revelation about Pakistan's spy agency, the relations between the US and Pakistan continue to spiral out of control, unless Pakistan decides that it is actually run by a civilian government... A recent NY Times article stated that the cell phone that was used by Osama bin Laden's courier contained phone numbers to members of a group that was known to be supported by the ISI, the Pakistani spy agency. The spy agency fervently denies any ties to terrorist groups, except for al Qaeda, which they had set up with the help from the CIA, Saudi Arabia, and Iran. They also deny supplying bin Laden with lots of Pakistani porn and herbal aphrodisiacs... While I'm on the subject, I haven't read why nobody in the bin Laden compound reacted to a helicopter crashing in the courtyard. I know that the helicopters were made with Stealth technology, but being able to cloak a crash of several tons of metal falling from the skies has not yet been explained. Perhaps all of the children and adults were thrashing metalheads, and were all listening to some very loud music...

But what is posing as more of a threat to the conservative, right wing, retired generals and the infrastructure of deceit they have created, with our help, may be the fallout in Washington from a report on the death of Asian Times' journalist: "A report firmly pointing the finger of suspicion over the killing of Syed Saleem Shahzad at Pakistan's Inter-Services Intelligence has moved the issue to the very highest levels in Washington. The case of Asia Times Online's former Pakistani bureau chief will mesh well with evidence against the ISI that the US is gathering from many sources." One of the reasons that this particular journalist's death is causing so much concern in Pakistan is because he is a Syed, or recognized  descendent of the Prophet Mohammed, and you can't just toss him into a gutter, battered and bruised, with over 17 stab wounds...

God bless ornery generals and admirals who are about to retire, at a certain point they get tired of bullshitting and just tell the truth. Robert Gates did it, and now Admiral Mike Mullen added to his legacy. When asked about the Shahzad murder: "In an article on Tuesday, The New York Times said the Obama administration believed that Pakistan’s powerful spy agency, the Directorate for Inter-Services Intelligence, or ISI, had directed the murder of Saleem Shahzad, a reporter who wrote about the infiltration of militants in the Pakistan army.


Admiral Mullen, who is retiring in several weeks, told a group of reporters at the Pentagon on Thursday: “I have not seen anything to disabuse the report that the government knew about this.” He added: “I would not be able to walk in and say, you know, here’s the string of evidence I have to confirm it.” The Pakistani government issued an angry retort, saying that Mike was wrong, and then they arrested several top generals who were said to be sympathetic to terrorist groups. The Pakistani press said that these generals were influenced and led around by a bunch of Stooges in the US military... Oh, when will Pakistan be left alone to upgrade its nuclear arsenal in peace; after all, they have to catch up once again to whatever it is that India is doing with its outdated nuclear program...

Even better news is that Leon Panetta has told us that we have our sights on the last 20 or 30 al Qaeda leaders, including the newly appointed Number 2. So, the War on Terror is almost won and we can send all of the troops home soon, then reduce the military budget back down by $500 billion to what it was ten years ago, before we invaded these countries based on erroneous information and the ego of one dumbass Texan... See, aren't you glad that the CIA has merged with the Pentagon, and we are now being monitioed by our cell phones and ipads, with drones flying over head. Let's name the next generation of robotics, the Cylons...

Sorry, I was day dreaming again... been doing that a lot, lately since it's been too hot to come upstairs and type, even if I have a stash of cold water... The mornings start out beautiful and warm, building into lightening and thunderstorms in the evenings, as the tropical humidity gets sucked up the Grand Canyon and meets the cooling northern air currents from the jet stream, here in the Rocky Mountains.

I was talking with my brother-in-law this morning, mostly because I had questions, and he had worked in aviation for awhile. I have been reading about Operation Paperclip, the taking of thousands of Nazi scientists and bringing them to the USA at the end of WW11, and the projects they continued to work on, which led to Stealth technology. They all became registered Republicans once they gained their citizenship, which explains the far right leanings of so many ex-military and GOP'ers. But, I digress...

Anyway, he complained that even now, no matter who ends up running the government, they stay out of touch with the people, and end up screwing things up just as badly as before. As a Democrat, he doesn't want to elect a Republican, but Obama has disappointed him in many ways. If the Republicans could field an intelligent choice to re-electing Obama, they might win the next election. But, as long as they parade the current batch of clowns, whom an intelligent person can't take seriously, then Obama will win again, handily. He could coast for another four years, making pithy speeches once in awhile, his best work being done at the White House Correspondent's Dinner, where he gets to repeat jokes written for him by the writer's from the Daily Show...

Yesterday, the Pentagon finally instructed the armed services to implement the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, to stop removing admittedly gay soldiers from service, and to start accepting new recruits even if the are gay. It's really going to take another 20 years, until the last homophobic hold-outs my age have passed away, until gays will truly be accepted in the military. Already our children and their children don't see it as any big deal, just something stupid their grandparents whine about when they get too drunk during family holidays...

High up on the scale of weirdness, is the giant gala this weekend in Moscow, intended to publicize the newest darling on the charity scene, the quasi-official Federation Fund. At its first event last January, it scored a coup with having Vladimir Putin sing Blueberry Hill to a thrilled audience. Right, talk about white dictators who have no rhythym... Before that concert, the Federation Fund was not listed anywhere in the world as a charity, or a business. It was only after one of the seriously ill children, whom was visited in the hospital by some of the concert-givers, wrote a letter to the press saying that nobody had received any money from the concert. Now, even more glamorous is: "Giant video screens and billboards plastered the city in June, advertising a Federation Fund benefit for children with cancer and eye disease. Most eye-catching was the lineup of Hollywood stars who were said to be attending events here on Saturday and Sunday, including Woody Allen, Dustin Hoffman, Francis Ford Coppola, Sophia Loren, Larry King and Isabella Rossellini."

Many of the stars have said that they actually will not attend, unless they still plan on making films in the future. Because the Federation Fund is a scam. Most charities only pass on about $2-3 out of every $10 dollars raised, but the Federation Fund doesn't even do that. They keep the money, unless embarrassed by the press: "Many officials of the hospitals listed as beneficiaries said in interviews that they had never had any contact with the Federation Fund, and were surprised to be listed on its Web site. Until two days before the concert, the organizers declined to disclose its location and callers were told that no tickets would be sold.


Among those pressing for answers are the directors of several charities, who say they fear the concert and other events this weekend will undercut public trust in fund-raising. Yekaterina Bermant, who runs a fund for children with heart disease, said she was puzzled by the participation of Hollywood celebrities.


“There are clear stories, understandable ones, like Hurricane Katrina and the earthquake in Japan,” said Ms. Bermant, director of the charity Children’s Hearts. “Why on earth are they coming to Moscow for some unclear story? Were they given that much money?”


“Maybe they were not paid, maybe Putin asked them personally,” she added. “It’s so unclear that I want very much for someone to explain it to me.”

So, party like its the old times in Moscow this weekend. I have wondered a lot about Woody Allen and his contacts with certain shady, mafia types, ever since I saw him at a club in LA several years ago that was run by some local bad boys. My youngest brother wanted to impress me because he had done some nights as a bouncer there... Anyway, for all I know, it was a Woody Allen imposter who was getting all of that VIP service, with the prostitutes and armed guards keeping the rest of us riff-raff away. Next time I get ol' Wood alone in the men's room, I'll have to check him for Russian jail-house tattoos... Enjoy hanging out with Putin's BFF's this weekend, glad you found financing for your next film... And, like all good crooks everywhere, the Federation Fund is headed by some idiot with a quick temper: "Bristling at the criticism, the charity’s director, Vladimir V. Kiselyov, said that his organization does not raise money for charity..."