Thursday, January 6, 2011

New Presidential Novel, Hugo Rejects, Elizabeth Gets Payback, Ted Haggard Swallows New Gig

Nicholas Kristof
Dana Milbank

"We look for common ground," she said, "but where we cannot find common ground, we must stand our ground." - Nancy Pelosi



A thrilling new mystery set in the Obama White House is set to be published; it may well already be in the bookstores. The biggest mystery surrounding it is who the author is... it's being published as "anonymous" and the search for the author will help diverge attention away from the House of Representatives, where the Republican majority has presented a new set of rules on how to present legislation, and already has broken all of them in its first piece of legislation offered. The Daily Beast offers us: "Washington is stirring over a forthcoming novel about the Obama administration, written by an anonymous author who is said to have "vast experience" on the subject of the Obama White House. O: A Presidential Novel, published by Simon & Schuster, will hit shelves on Jan. 25. Besides the title, little else is known about the book. In 1996, reporter Joe Klein anonymously published a similar book about the Clinton White House. Klein has denied that he has anything to do with O. You can bet the race to figure out who is responsible will heat up in the coming weeks." Safe bets are that it is a labradoodle mystery, where a famous waterdog saves the president's life while out on their daily walks. Another theory is that one of the Obama daughters really has secret superpowers and gets to use them while saving the free world, all in time for lunch, to borrow from my own favorite super-heroes. Or, it could be a garden mystery, set outside among the organic vegetables of the White House garden, where the upbeat Mrs Obama must use the skills she had to set aside to become First Lady, solve the mystery, rid us of obesity, and keep her marriage intact in the face of slurs from the opposition. Finally, it could be the mystery of O: a Kenyan Birth Certificate Mystery, complete with pictures and official state seals...



Venezuela has rejected the US's choice for ambassador to their country, and on television last night, Hugo Chavez offered up his favorite choices for an ambassador, if only Barack Obama would comply. Fron the Christian Science Monitor: "The feisty Venezuelan president – who caused a diplomatic row by refusing Mr. Obama’s first choice for Washington’s new ambassador to Caracas – has a personal short list for the job. Mr. Ch├ívez says he’d take director Oliver Stone, actor Sean Penn, linguist and philosopher (and longtime critic of US foreign policy in Latin America) Noam Chomsky, or – why not? – Bill Clinton..." Little known fact, when actor Sean Penn went and toured Cuba, he got to interview Fidel Castro, which was subsequently published, and that is why his name is on Chavez's list. But this opens up a whole new set of possibilites, celebrities as ambassadors. The UN uses them as "goodwill" ambassadors, but I know there is a new game I just invented, matching up our favorite celebrities with the countries we think they should go to, and the reasons why... An easy example, Madonna goes as ambassador to Argentina, which won't cry for her. I would have Bill and Hillary Clinton as ambassadors at large, constantly circling the hemispheres, sometimes together, often apart... And, I would send George W Bush out as ambassador to Osama bin Laden...


To prove that there exists poetic justice in this world, Elizabeth Edwards' will divides her estate up among her children. There isn't any mention of her husband, John Edwards, anywhere at all. The will was drawn up and signed 11 days before she succumbed to cancer. She may have been in pain during her last days, but I'm sure she also was chuckling at the payback she had designed for John...




So, first we had the blackbirds falling out of the night sky in Arkansas, almost as if some kind of electro-magnetic pulse had knocked them out of the sky like a giant fist. Then, came the fish in the Arkansas River, dying as if some kind of electro-magnetic pulse had passed through them and served them up on shore. Even weirder, is the ex-Pentagon employee, who was filmed in a parking garage and office building, wandering about in a confused state, almost as if he had been hit by some kind of electro-magnetic pulse. His body was later mysteriously found in a landfill, over 15 miles away, as described in the Denver Post: "Questions about the death of a for mer Pentagon official multiplied Wednesday as police reported he had been wandering downtown Wilmington disoriented in the days before his body was found at a nearby landfill.
Two days before John P. Wheeler III's body was found, parking garage videos showed him in a black suit with no tie, wearing only one shoe even though there was snow outside. The 66-year-old New Castle resident was carrying his other, ripped, burgundy loafer. He told a parking attendant he wanted to get warm before he paid for parking, but police said his car wasn't there. He also said his briefcase was stolen and repeatedly said he wasn't drunk.
The last time he was seen alive on video, he was wandering an office building and had refused help from several people who approached him, police said. About 14 hours later, he was found in the landfill."

Next, jackdaws in Sweden also mysteriously rain out of the sky last night, and albino twin tigers are born at the Bangkok zoo. These mysterious and supposedly unrelated events culminate in the leaked files, possibly from the Pentagon, or even by the Chinese government, of a stealth plane that the Chinese are developing and could use electro-magnetics in its flight. Or as a weapon, since one is also being developed by the Pentagon as a non-lethal weapon for crowd control, except it kills birds and fishes when used at that level... does that make more sense than UFO's, weather manipulation, or the use of black helicopters? This past season on television a couple of shows depicting our interactions with extra-terrestrial aliens were canceled from lack of interest, and now we have resurrected the alien as vicious predator in the show V... If I thought that Jesse Ventura made any sense, I'd say he might be right...






Finally, Politico reveals that the mighty Colorado Springs favorite, Ted Haggard, is ready to take on Sarah Palin, at least on the TLC network: "Ted Haggard, the former head of the National Association of Evangelicals who had an affair with a male prostitute, is heading to TLC.


The station, which is also home to “Sarah Palin’s Alaska,” will be airing “Ted Haggard: Scandalous” as a one-hour special, according to Entertainment Weekly.


In a statement, Haggard said, “My family and I endured the darkest hours imaginable in the public spotlight, and have spent the last four years fighting and struggling to rebuild our lives, our faith and our family.”


The show is scheduled to air Jan. 16 and, according to EW, could lead to a whole series if it pulls in enough eyeballs. In the special, Haggard shares plans start a new ministry in Colorado Springs. “Showing the world the new chapter of our lives will hopefully inspire others to find their own path to overcome their struggles and embrace the power of acceptance. The church is open to all, even those who have committed the darkest sins,” Haggard said."  I hope he does well. After all, we already know that:
                                     Ted Haggard is a Meth - od Actor


5 comments:

  1. The literary types among us realize that it is no coincidence that "O: A Presidential Novel," referring to Obama of course, does bear a resemblance to the classic pornographic novel, later made into a film, entitled, "The Story of O." Although stifled and squelched by the MSM, the autobiographical, non-fiction account written by Larry Sinclair in book form of his sexual and drug experiences with the present POTUS is now mired in a legal quagmire. Nevertheless it is free now to read on-line, in spite of Mr. Sinclair's justified protests, on Daily Kos. Sinclair is clearly a dysfunctional individual, but his testimony is hardly to be discarded, I believe, on that account. He has been completely honest about his troubled past. The question remains: do we have a dysfunctional individual leading the country? The use of the title :"O: A Presidential Novel", I repeat, is no accident, but a story in itself.

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  2. Yes, the title reference is very obvious. Slandering a President is a booming business, and I've heard both Barack and Michelle called out for homosexuality. In their case, I doubt it. Hillary and Bill were repeatedly called homos, Bill's sexual antics cost him credibility...

    going back farther, I read about George HW Bush's love for teenage boys, witnessed by a Nebraskan Congressman. Ronald Reagan plied his trade on the casting couch but never made it past B movies, and John Wayne enjoyed gang rapes during his college years. In his later years he was just a mean drunk who beat up Hispanic women...

    So there are plenty of rumors that abound. Weirdly enough, Obama is about the most normally adjusted president we've had in awhile, a family man, a Christian, a man who thinks and analyzes before he acts. His devotion to his family should win him brownie points with family values folks, instead it drives them nuts...

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  3. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing; for a man who chooses never to dig any deeper than his own pre-conceived ideas, that knowledge is useless to him.

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  4. A little knowledge is all you're going to get out of life, a mere drop in the ever-expanding pool of knowledge. Instead of it being a dangerous thing, we wrap ourselves up in it like a warm snuggie... It's ones' arrogance or ego that takes that little bit of knowledge and creates vast universes, or veils of illusions, and calls it the truth. In the end, all illusions are useless, and my little bit of knowledge no more than a grain of sand...

    So, were you trying to insult me when we were talking about politicians rumored sexual deviations? There was no way out of the mud once we entered that arena, and I've been reading conspiracy theories from both right and left for over 40 years. What little bit of knowledge I've taken away from it is not to take any of it seriously...

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  5. just looking for a picture a found your site and i like it. thanks. best wishes. ah! i borrow your mr. menken quote.

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