Rant On Dick Cheney, I Want to be a Pirate

Lekan Oguntoyunbo

Michael Crowley
Dan Gerstein

"For many of the estimated 1 million Nigerians living in this country, a number of whom are enterprising and highly skilled workers, the incident tarnishes an image already soiled by a reputation for narcotics smuggling and Internet fraud." - Lekan Oguntouinbo

"But 2009 was such a miserable slog, with infinitely more embarrassing than ennobling moments in Washington, that I soon realized that I had nothing much constructive to add." - Dan Gerstein

nigerian scam...

Where some people saw the attempted bomb on the Detroit-bound plane as an act of terror, (the "war on terror" is becoming such an over-used phrase that it is quickly "joining weapons of mass destruction" as having no meaning in the real world), others see it as an opportunity to further their political career and turn it into a fundraising gesture. The top GOP member on the House Intelligence Committee, Pete Hoekstra, is the man who would be Governor of Michigan. Click on his name for the link to the full letter. Part of his letter goes like this: "Shockingly, yesterday morning, Barack Obama's Homeland Security Secretary went on TV and said 'the system worked'! They just don't get it. The system didn't
'work' here. Far from it! It is insulting that The Obama administration would make such a claim, but then again, these are the same weak-kneed liberals who have recently tried to bring Guantanamo Bay terrorists right here to Michigan!" the letter reads. "My promise to you, as your governor, my first duty and most solemn responsibility is to keep Michigan safe!"
"If you agree that we need a Governor who will stand up the Obama/Pelosi efforts to weaken our security please make a most generous contribution of $25, $50, $100 or even $250 to my campaign."


Mr Hoekstra is the Congressman, along with Jim DeMint, who claimed to have found the dreaded weapons of mass destruction, and held a press conference to tell us that. My impression is that the Republican head of the Intelligence Committee is not very intelligent, but has a knack for exploiting potential tragedy. He is someone who, hopefully come next election, will be voted out of politics, where he can then register as a lobbyist...

tipping wheelchairs...

One of the oldest and worn out tactics the GOP has used for over 30 years, is using the John Wayne Syndrome. It's making the GOP candidates out to be tough guys who are more patriotic than you will ever be and take no guff from any foreigners. Their opponents, in this case the Obama administration, are wimps who can't grasp the seriousness of events that pull their triggers. Think of it as part of Dick Cheney's mental makeup as he shoots a good friend in the face...

Predictably, Mr Cheney hurried to be in front of a camera yesterday to blast Obama as not being serious about the war on terror: “[W]e are at war and when President Obama pretends we aren’t, it makes us less safe,” Cheney said in a statement to POLITICO. “Why doesn’t he want to admit we’re at war? It doesn’t fit with the view of the world he brought with him to the Oval Office. It doesn’t fit with what seems to be the goal of his presidency — social transformation — the restructuring of American society. President Obama’s first object and his highest responsibility must be to defend us against an enemy that knows we are at war."

Well Dick, I thought that's exactly what he's been doing since he took over the crappy wars you started. Got any good ideas about how to end them? I'm getting really tired of every dumbass who never took responsibility for his own actions when he was in office becoming such a petty attack weasel and never offering one constructive idea since he left office. How many wounded soldiers have you or Bush or Rumsfeld visited since you've left office? We know that Karl has been too busy with his divorce to be helpful, so I'm waiting for your daughter Liz to come to your defense and tell us what a great person you really are, and she's only finished editing chapter two...

Which reminds me of my favorite bit of doggerel I wrote in an earlier post in homage to Dick Cheney and his tendency to only accept information if it has been tortured from someone. It's the closest thing I have to a greatest hit from 2009. Again, my apologies from Dr Seuss:

Would you put a prisoner in a box

Beat his feet, bloody his socks?

Or strip him naked to prance all day

Not let him sleep, or kneel to pray

Oh, I don't like these interrogators said Sam

For they make me eat green eggs and ham

People were angry at the Bush administration because they made stupid policy decisions and demonstrated that right wing conservatism did not govern well. When Republicans ruled Congress as a majority they had no favor towards any Democratic ideas and would kill any Democratic legislation.

Now that a more intelligent, analytical person is President who is willing to work on a bi-partisan basis, the Republicans want no part of it and do anything they can think of to be mean, vindictive, and obstructionist. Moderates are bullied to adhere to a dysfunctional conservative party line. This next year is going to be more of the same, all destructive invective, and offering nothing constructive, expecting us to go along and vote more conservatives into office because of this strategy, which they are quite proud of. I predict that I will be grumpier next year, and hopefully don't end up repeating myself too often...



best job in 2009...

Apparently the only job that had successful dividends last year was if you were a pirate. No, not just the Wall Street kind, but the good old-fashioned Somali pirate, who ply the seas off the coast of their country and the Gulf of Aden. "In 2008, according to the maritime bureau, 111 ships were attacked in the region, a figure that itself represented a 200 percent increase from 2007." With the money earned from holding crews for ransom, the pirates were able to buy better, faster attack boats and weapons. Then, this year they: "had attacked 214 vessels so far this year, resulting in 47 hijackings. Twelve of those ships, with a total of 263 crew members, are currently being held for ransom by the pirates."

They still capture ships despite warships patrolling the Gulf from the European Union, Russia, the US, and many other countries. The ship owners are alarmed at the increase in hijacking, but they would rather not have armed guards on their ships. Sea tradition and all that... The crews seem to be treated well despite the limited diet they are offered in captivity, and even now: “We’ve seen photographs of crew members taking pictures of pirates while they’re attacking." Makes for a good tale to tell at the bars or to your grandchildren... Somali pirates? Why, we had lunch together...