Monday, February 25, 2013

Our Bizarro Scientology Universe

"Since the brutal presidential election, there's been a lot of soul searching going on at Fox News. I am confident that they eventually will find one." – Stephen Colbert
"People sometimes forget that George Washington was very rich, had a pony tail, and grew hemp on his farm. He was America's original Willie Nelson." – Craig Ferguson
"In November, Colorado voted to legalize the recreational use of marijuana. Currently, only Colorado residents can purchase marijuana in the state. But they may open it up to nonresidents too. The new state slogan is 'Come for the legal marijuana, stay because you forgot to leave.'" – Jimmy Kimmel



This has been a rough winter for me. Perhaps it's just part of the aging process, but I've been dealing with serious urges to commit suicide, and the depression that triggers those feelings. Every time it snows I want to walk out into the middle of the blizzard and lay down to sleep... On the learning end of the curve, I've gotten to recognize the difference between what mental affects depression brings versus the oncoming fog of dementia, and the amount of relief from daily medication. I've spent the last 3-4 weeks as a couch potato watching increasingly weird reality shows on television, glorifying everyone from dumbass rednecks to shrill and angry ex-housewives. On the bright side, I've solved most of the world's political problems through the fantasies in my daydreams, something my cat can attest to...

One of the epiphanies I had was the realization that the church of Scientology has won its war with the government. It already had won the previous war with psychiatry; nobody goes to see a psychiatrist for therapy or insight anymore, all anyone receives these days is a drug prescription and an inflated bill to their insurance company. Thirty years ago Scientology also began planting its believers into government jobs here in America and in Europe, doing a better job at infiltrating than the Soviets ever did... Now we have entrenched bureaucrats making policies the L Ron Hubbard way...

My reasoning goes like this: followers of Scientology believe in some pretty far out stuff because its founder was a bad science fiction writer. Instead of producing people with the gifts of mental clarity, we end up with citizens who are cowed by arrogance and authority, who are used to bizarre behavior and arguments that come from way out there in right field... Scientologists have infiltrated the GOP, which explains the blind acceptance of crazy ideas, crazy candidates, and inability to change or move forward, all traits of someone under mind control. Karl Rove must be a Scientologist, how else can you explain the ease that he gets rich conservatives to donate millions of dollars to whatever lost cause he is promoting? The only other plausible explanation for the sclerotic behavior patterns of Republicans is that several years ago our universe intersected with the Bizarro Universe, and we've been flying around backwards ever since... which explains the irrational denying of climate change and other messages being sent to us from Mother Earth, the insistence of adhering to outdated economic models that have already proven to Not Work, inherent racism, and willingness to punch you in the face if you disagree with them...