Sleaze Takes a Holiday

Paul Krugman
David Brooks
Henry Kissenger

"Sure I helped my mistress' husband find work after he left my staff, but I do that for all my former staffers."



Proving that he's more swayed by the influence of his Russian and Chinese friends on how to handle the situation, this morning Iran's Supreme Leader Ayetollah Khamenei told a large audience that he supported Ahmadinejad because "Mahmoud, I am your father..." no, wait, that's another power crazed intergalactic badguy suffering from delusions. He told the crowd that: "ended any doubts about his support for the reelection of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, rejecting opposition complaints that last week's election results were manipulated and calling for an end to street demonstrations that have embroiled this capital for a week.

In a special address at a Friday prayer service, Khamenei warned that protest leaders would be held responsible for any violence resulting from a continuation of the demonstrations. Khamenei, 69, a Shiite Muslim cleric who holds ultimate political and religious authority under Iran's theocratic system, told the tens of thousands of people who spilled out of a covered pavilion at Tehran University that the election is over and that "the Islamic republic never betrays the votes of people."

Remember, just like what happened in China, if you are out on the streets engaged in a peaceful demonstraton, it will be your fault if we have to hurt, maim, or kill you. Let's just say the Supreme Leader is also not the brightest dictator to ever hide within a cleric's robe...

While the world's attention was on Iran, not much happenned in the US that would cause us embarrassment. HA HA HA!
We begin with president Obama's two faced promises to gay Americans, Wednesday signinga memorandum that takes effect only while he is in office, extending medical and insurance rights to partners of gay federal employees. And, as reported by the Washington Times: "The administration is making the move as Mr. Obama faces criticism for not repealing "don't ask, don't tell" as he promised on the campaign trail. The policy, implemented under President Clinton, bans openly gay people from serving in the military.

Under the policy, gay Arabic translators have been dismissed, and some are angry with Mr. Obama since the White House has not intervened in the pending cases of military officials facing courts martial under "don't ask-don't tell." Well, that's one campaign promise left to twist in the wind...


Republican Senator from Nevada, John Ensign proving that a good defense is a great offense, announced that he'd had an affair with one of his staff members over a year ago, as reported by Politico: "Sen. John Ensign revealed that he’d had an extramarital affair just days after the husband of his mistress attempted to take the story to Fox News.

On June 11 – five days before Ensign acknowledged the affair at a press briefing in Las Vegas – Doug Hampton wrote to Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly, requesting that she investigate charges that the senator’s behavior made him unfit to serve in Republican leadership.

In his letter, Hampton – whose wife had the affair with Ensign – charged that he had previously confronted Ensign about the affair in front of one of his Washington housemates, Republican Sen. Tom Coburn of Oklahoma.“Senator Ensign’s conduct and relentless pursuit of my wife led to our dismissal in April of 2008,” Hampton wrote. “I would like to say he stopped his heinous conduct and pursuit upon our leaving, but that was not the case and his actions did not subside until August of 2008.”

Senator Ensign doubled the woman's salary while they were having an affair, got her another job as staff on a Republican committee that he chaired, helped her son get a job, and helped her husband find another job after he left his employ. It's not clear why the husband waited so long to come forward with the information. Ensign originally said that Hampton was trying to blackmail him, but no complaints were ever filed in Nevada or Washington, as it's a Federal offense. Nor have prostitution charges been filed against the woman, for receiving money while having the affair.

Ensign resigned from his leadership post in Congress, but will not resign altogether, crocodile tears flowing down his face, oh haven't I suffered enough already?. Fellow Republicans have made no comments, probably afraid that they will be investigated next... In fact, they are trying to downplay the whole thing as a plain, vanilla run of the mill affair in an era that includes: "Sting operations in bathroom stalls (Larry Craig). Lewd IM exchanges with underage pages (Mark Foley). Prostitution rings frequented by a governor who spearheaded prosecution of prostitution rings (Eliot Spitzer). Plus, John Edwards. Plus, Kwame Kilpatrick. Plus, David Vitter."

The problem with this sordid affair is that the Republicans often take a "we are more moral than you are" type of wide stance in public," we believe in the sanctity of marriage" better than you ever will, that often comes back to hurt them when confronted with the normal sleazy morals of politicians of alll stripes. And John Ensign spent a lot of time condemning others. He's hoping that he won't be investigated futher, revealing what an unfaithful horndog he really is...


late night jokes:

"And I just want to say a word of thanks to the great CBS television network. They've been wonderful through everything. But yesterday, I thought maybe they were just a little too eager to cash in on this whole thing with the rally. I mean, at the CBS store out on the corner, you know, they were selling highly flammable Dave Letterman effigies." --David Letterman

"Well, here's more big news going on in Iran. You folks been following the Iranian elections? Well, here it is. It's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and his opponent, Mir Hussein Moussavi. And they had one of those friendly bets. If Ahmadinejad wins the election, he gets a crate of figs, see. If Moussavi wins the election, he gets brutally slain." --David Letterman

"So now they're going through the recount. They're recounting the ballots cast in the Iranian election, and today they found 14 more votes for Norm Coleman." --David Letterman

"It's illegal for rallies or demonstrations in Iran. But yet you turn on the news, and you see hundreds of thousands of people in the streets protesting, and the government says: 'No, no, no. That's not a public protest. Those are just people lining up to see 'The Hangover.'' --David Letterman

"Here's the breakdown of the Iranian election: 63 percent of the vote for Ahmadinejad; Moussavi, he's got 34 percent of the vote; and 3 percent of the vote goes to Ralph Nader." --David Letterman

"But now, Barack Obama says that four of the Guantánamo prisoners are going to Bermuda. Same thing CBS is trying to do with me." --David Letterman

"Don't kid yourself. You're thinking, Bermuda, tough, really? Yes, yes. Let me answer that for you. The prisons in Bermuda are no laughing matter. It's a tough place: no flip-flops in the dining room." --David Letterman

"Well, our old friend John McCain -- and I think we should all follow this man's example -- bought a hybrid car. It's not his first hybrid car. His first one was actually a horse and buggy." --David Letterman

"Yeah, it's a hybrid car. I hear this one runs on gasoline and Metamucil." --David Letterman

"People are suspecting that Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's re-election may have been a sham because he's claiming he won by a 2-1 margin. They're also suspicious of Ahmadinejad's claim that he's dating Megan Fox." --Conan O'Brien

"The bad economy is affecting the numbers of available jobs. So, many new college graduates are choosing to spend a year volunteering at a nonprofit organization. These nonprofit organizations include Chrysler and GM" --Conan O'Brien

"President Obama hard at work on the health-care situation. His new health-care bill proposal is so expensive, though, Democrats are looking for ways to trim it back. One plan is so drastic, it will only offer coverage for Jon and Kate plus three." --Conan O'Brien

"It has been reported that Twitter usage ... is up a staggering 1300% since last year. 1300%. Yeah, folks, it's hard to imagine that just one year ago, most of us had no idea what Wilmer Valderrama was having for lunch." --Conan O'Brien

Another Day, Mourning in Tehran...

Rami Khouri
Nader Mousavizadeh
Dana Milbank

" Oh, mama, can this really be the end,
to be stuck inside a mobille
with the Tehran blues again..." - apologies to Bob Dylan


Trying to find out what is actually happening in Tehran is like reading tea leaves, all you are going to get are hints at a picture. All of my favorite websites have been blocked for the last few days... Today has been proclaimed as a day of mourning for the people who were killed by the militia the day before last. This way it is a legitimate way of taking to the streets, than risk calling for another day of protest. The discipline of keeping that many people silent and calm is amazing.

There have been 646 complaints about the election submitted to the Guardian Council, which is made up of six clerics and six lawyers, and they are beginning to look at them today. They have invited Mir Mousavi and two other candidates to a special meeting on Saturday. It's thought that they are paying lip service only, as they have previously stated that they would allow a partial recount and not a full re-election, and that they uphold Mr Ahmadinejad's election.

Another criticism has been directed at the government, that a military coup has occurred, and that it no longer is an Islamic Republic. Mr. Ahmadinejad is a former officer of the Revolutionary Guards, and during his tenure he replaced 14 out of 21 cabinet posts with other former officers of the Guard, giving them an unprecedented hold over government affairs and policy.

And, from the BBC: "However, opposition supporters are likely to be more encouraged by a statement from the Assembly of Experts - Iran's top clerical body responsible for appointing the supreme leader and, in theory, monitoring his performance.

"We congratulate the excited, epic-making and alert presence of 85% of the revolutionary people" in the election, the statement said.
It made no mention of the disputed result.

The Assembly of Experts is headed by former President Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani, who is a strong supporter of Mr Mousavi and a key rival of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad."

This coming Saturday should be a pivotal moment in whatever decisions are made for Iran's future. There is another protest called for by Mousavi. There is the Guardianship meeting that might be televised by state media, and there is a rally called where the Supreme Burrito will be giving a speech. This day has the most potential for bloodshed, depending if the less disciplined Basij volunteer militia are used or not. Go to the YouTube video site and look at the Iran videos to see how confusing it quickly gets... Whatever the outcome, it will be sure to make other states like Saudi Arabia quite nervous...

And,from the Angry Arab site, comes this quote which I cheerfully lifted: "A colleague and friend sent me this (she/he does not want to be identified): "Mousavi was (along with a couple of other major "reformists") were hotheaded rightwing Islamists back in the 1980s, and Mousavi in particular was responsible for purging universities of lefties, Jews, and Bahaiis. the other two people most associated with this same move from being university purgers to radical reformists are Abdulkarim Sorush and MohsenKadviar. The former is a philosopher and the latter a cleric, both of whom have very sophisticated arguments (the former based on Gadamer's hermeneutics; the latter based on his extensive training and certification as a faqih) about separating the mosque from the state. All three were involved with the early purges and now face the same fate...the other thing is that although Ahmadinejad has very populist rhetoric he
is actually a neoliberal bastard economically, so...."

late night jokes:

"Thank you very much. Welcome to the 'Late Show', ladies and gentlemen. Now, when I call your name, please come forward and pick up your apology." --David Letterman

"I want to get through this as quickly as possible so you folks can get to the 'Fire Dave' rally." --David Letterman

"It's nice that people hate me who are no longer just part of my immediate family." --David Letterman

"My son, you know, he's telling everybody at school that his father is Conan." --David Letterman

"Yeah, there's a 'Fire Dave' rally going on outside, but I think it's just about over because the last time I looked, they were breaking up and heading to Flashdancers. So I think it's going to be all right." --David Letterman

"But let's focus on the good news. And the good news is that Sarah Palin has accepted my apology. And she also accepted a $500 gift certificate from LensCrafters. I thought that was a nice touch." --David Letterman

"I'll tell you, to be honest, I was quite nervous about this whole thing. And I was really nervous about an apology to Sarah Palin. So what I did to get my confidence up, to get my nerves to settle down, I rehearsed by apologizing to Tina Fey. That helped. That was a big help." --David Letterman

"Trouble here in New York City with Canada geese. And because they pose a threat to air travel in New York New York City is now at war with Canada geese. And Mayor Bloomberg is serious about this. He is so serious, he's bringing in Dick Cheney." --David Letterman

"Have you folks been following the Iranian elections? Well how about this Mahmoud Ahmadinejad? You know, he won, he has won the election now. And people are angry, and they're demanding a recount. And as a matter of fact, the last unofficial account actually had Al Franken ahead. They've gone crazy." --David Letterman

"And the Iranian government denies that there are crowds of protesters in the street. They're out there, like 100,000 people in the streets of Iran protesting. But the government denies that protests are going on. They say it's just citizens enjoying their new pedestrian mall." --David Letterman

"Barack Obama is closing down that Guantanamo Bay. Did you hear about this? And they had, like, 300 desperate, awful, nasty prisoners. And they say, 'All right, well, they're shutting it down, what do you do with those guys?' I say, aw hell, bring 'em to the audience. Let 'em come and enjoy the show. Have a nice time. Participate in the rally." --David Letterman

"But he's sending some of these people to Bermuda. And the really tough ones, they're going to Ft. Lauderdale." --David Letterman

"He doesn't know what to do with the Guantanamo Bay prisoners, and I was thinking, well, you know, if you want to keep 'em busy, just put 'em in charge of my hate mail." --David Letterman

"Senator John McCain announced today that he bought a hybrid car. Apparently, McCain thinks a hybrid car is one that has AM and FM radio." --Conan O'Brien

"A lot of turmoil in Iran right now over the recent presidential election. People protesting the election results have been avoiding the government media crackdown by posting messages on Twitter. The tweets declare that Ahmadinejad stole the election and that Jabeer is enjoying a lamb kabob." --Conan O'Brien

"Iran has been really cracking down on foreign journalists. So now, they're actually preventing reporters from leaving their hotel rooms. And this, of course, leaves the journalists with nothing to do but order up sexy movies of women wearing slacks." --Conan O'Brien

"General Motors has sold the car company Saab to a European company that only produces about a dozen cars a year. General motors said, 'It's a perfect fit because we only sell a dozen cars a year.'" --Conan O'Brien

"John McCain said on his Twitter feed, on Monday, that he's buying a brand new Ford Fusion Hybrid. A year ago, McCain didn't use a computer. Now he's on Twitter and buying a hybrid. What's going on? I think he's like Benjamin Button. He'll be a cute little baby." --Jimmy Fallon

"Hi, everyone. I'm Jimmy, I'm the host of the show. Before we go any further, I want to just take a minute to apologize for some jokes I'm planning to make about the Palin family tonight. They are in extremely poor taste and I know that I will regret saying them." --Jimmy Kimmel

"President Barack Obama has been on TV more than Regis lately. He was all over NBC the week before last. Next week, he's doing a two-hour, primetime town hall here on ABC. But if we didn't want our President on TV all the time, maybe we shouldn't have elected Oprah's boyfriend." --Jimmy Kimmel

"This is a crazy story. Fidel Castro, the former Cuban dictator, has a son named Antonio. That's not the crazy part. The crazy part — for eight months, Antonio Castro carried on an online affair with what he thought was a beautiful Colombian woman. That woman turned out to be a man, a Cuban activist who lives in Miami. It's especially fun because the Internet is difficult to access in Cuba. To get online in Cuba, you know, you have to give — I think you have to give five fish to a guy who has ColecoVision hooked up to a 1958 Impala." --Jimmy Kimmel

Iranians Still Experiencing Revolution, More Hate Crimes in US

Hillary Clinton
Robert Dreyfus
Kathleen Parker
Dana Milbank




There are some wonderful stories contained in the links above, one that is a must read is Robert Dreyfus's analysis of what to do with Iran, written after coming home from Tehran on Monday. I was plesantly surprised to see Hillary Clinton address the story of human trafficking, which is a worldwide phenomena, from smuggling Chinese immigrants in the cargo holds of container ships, to using children for the sex trade, it is pandemic. Someday I will write about the world wide links between pedophilia clubs that have surfaced in Hollywood, Russia, Japan, and Portugal, each time involving media personalities, prominent businessmen, politicians, and police brass...

What is happening now in Iran has caught everyone by surprize. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad left quickly and is at the BRIC conference in Russia.The Ayetollah Khamenei is in hiding since people have taken to the streets 3 days go. Tens of thousands are out today, with more being planned for tomorrow's day of mourning for those whom were killed yesterday... The ruling clerics thought they had created a perfect Islamic state, with just enough democracy to balance out their autocratic decrees. Other Islamic countries aren't too worried because it's just a bunch of crazy Shiites, not the sensibly cowed Sunnis of their home states, naw, it'll never catch on... Michael Hirsh from Newsweek describes the Iranian Islamic state: "Prior to this election, the government led by Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei and the radical Islamist president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, had adopted the rather savvy approach of letting people enjoy themselves a bit and, above all, make money so as to induce political apathy. Religious conservatives openly embraced the "China model," whereby the mandarins in Beijing managed to quash political dissent after Tiananmen Square by sublimating the impulse for a better life into a booming economy. In Iran, the unrest of the '90s was addressed with an analogous formula: Ahmadinejad and his "new right" kept most of the Khatami-era social reforms and focused most of their ire on political dissenters.

Now, thanks to overreaching by Khamenei and his hardline allies, who apparently sought to secure their power with an electoral coup d'etat, even that approach must be called into question. While the legitimacy of the Islamic regime is still widely accepted, Khamenei's position atop Iranian society was never as certain as it was deemed to be in the West. The Supreme Leader's clear misreading of the situation—his initial embrace of the election results as a "divine" victory for Ahmadinejad followed by a jittery call for an investigation into the vote—has amply demonstrated his fallibility. Key figures like Ali Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani, the former president, have dared to question Khamenei's judgment, an act considered an unbreachable "red line" in the past."

But will all of this sixties style protesting do any good? In the short term, no. The people being asked to look into the election are th same ones that conducted the election, and they might come up with a token something, but not enough to knock Ahmadinejad out of office. We will have to try and negotiate with another crazy, belligerent midget (joining Kim Il-Sung and Dmitry Medvedev), who look like evil hand-puppets standing together... In the long run, maybe it will be the end of ignorant mullah rule in one of the most well educated countries, or maybe this generation will still have to wait another ten or fifteen years before these old guys die off. Because these protests speak volumes about the yearnings of human nature and freedom.
It resonates in the heart of every free person capable of empathy.

You would think that freedom loving conservatives and Libertarians here in the US would be storming the barricades and planning solidarity tea parties, but they are just using it to make attacks on whatever Obama has to say, it ends up being the wrong thing to say. There are voices of reason, coming from the unlikely sources of George HW Bush and Laura Bush. Instead we get things like this Twitter post from Rep. Pete Hoekstra ...

Iranian twitter activity similar to what we did in House last year when Republicans were shut down in the House.

Another super conservative Republican Senator, this one from Nevada, has been busted for having an affair. This would be no big deal if he hadn't spent years acting hypocritically and talking about the sanctity of marriage and family. Also, it looks like we have another murder in Arizona, with a hate group killing a drug dealer to sell the drugs to finance their organization, more common practice in Florida and Los Angeles than the dried out desert resorts, as TPM reports: "Earlier this afternoon, Zack Roth reported on the murder charges against two leaders of 'Minuteman American Defense' stemming from an incident over the weekend in which they staged a home invasion in Arizona, killing reputed drug dealer Raul Flores, his nine year old daughter and wounding his wife. Beyond the brutality of the act, it's difficult to get a handle on just what Shana Forde, Jason Bush and Albert Gaxiola were trying to do. They broke into Flores's home in Arivaca, Arizona posing as police officers with what police say was the intention of killing him and his family, taking a large sum of money and stealing his drugs which they would then sell on the street for more money. The proceeds, it seems, would go toward funding their on-going anti-immigrant 'activism' and, more ambitiously, instigating a race war to overthrow the US government."

For those of you who insist on numerology, this is cinsidered the 3rd in a row of unhinges, right wing extremists coming unhinged and murdering folks. Granted, a drug dealer is not on the same level of respect as a doctor, but the people doing the nasty deeds are geting crazier. Where I live robbery and petty theft has risen dramatically, we are walking the streets and confronting strangers in our neighborhoods, I'm afraid that the fear factor is rising and stalking our streets, turning reasonble men and women into suspicious characters, and feeding the frenzy of extremists, spurring them into action. It will only get worse as the humidity and heat of the summer makes folk bitchy and mean...

late night jokes:

"Welcome to the 'Late Show.' I'm Dave Letterman, goodwill ambassador. I got a call from Mom earlier today and she told me she was siding with the Governor." --David Letterman

"Honestly, how many of you are only here tonight hoping that I'll offend somebody else?" --David Letterman

"Here's good news for visitors. Times Square, have you been down to Times Square? It's now -- well, it's now a pedestrian mall. They have 400 beach chairs in the middle of the street. And if you don't get one of those beach chairs, well, I'll lend you a bag of my hate mail. You can relax on that." --David Letterman

"You folks know about Bernie Madoff? Oh, oh, I mean, most hated man in America. Me, Bernie Madoff. It's right there. It's kind of a one, two thing. He was way out in front 'til a couple of days ago. But the New York Times says his wife, Ruth, is the loneliest woman in New York City. Shunned by friends and neighbors. Well, tell me about it. --David Letterman

"How many of you folks are following the elections in Iran? Hard not to. It's compelling. Well, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was re-elected and won by a landslide, ladies and gentlemen. And I, you know, I guess the voters couldn't resist his good looks and charisma." --David Letterman

"But there were problems with the ballots in the Iranian election. And who would have thought that? There was a mistake. Thousands of Iranians ended up voting for Pat Buchanan." --David Letterman

"But I hope they get this figured out. I hope it goes away soon, because the last thing we need is unrest in the Middle East." --David Letterman

"But the guy, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, he's very happy that he won. He was up all night shooting nuclear missiles into the air." --David Letterman

"And then, after the elections, the supreme leader in Iran certified the election results and shipped the crooked voting machines back to Florida." --David Letterman

"Because earlier, in the Iranian elections, it was a tie. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and the other guy were tied, and now, couple a days later, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad wins by a landslide. I don't know. People are very upset. I mean, they sparked violent protests, calls for investigation, there is national outrage. Uh, wait a minute, that's me." --David Letterman

"Obviously, ladies and gentlemen, big, big news is from Iran right now. Incredible, three days of riots, street fighting, people setting fire to everything. I'm not sure who won over there, Ahmadinejad or the Lakers." --Conan O'Brien

"President Ahmadinejad is claiming that he won, causing a lot of controversy. Some people say that Ahmadinejad cheated a little bit. They're now that saying weeks before the election President Ahmadinejad distributed 400,000 tons of potatoes to voters in rural areas. Who knew he'd be put over the top by the Iranian-Irish vote?" --Conan O'Brien

"Joe Bidenn said something interesting in an interview, just this weekend. Vice President Joe Biden said he still has his eye on the presidency, which is weird since the question was, 'How do you take your coffee?'" --Conan O'Brien

"In a major speech Sunday, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu called for the Palestinians to get their own state. Unfortunately, the state he offered them is New Jersey." --Conan O'Brien

"It's been reported Marvel Comics is getting set to bring back Captain America. They're going to do this as soon as they get a loan from Captain China." --Conan O'Brien

"Tough times all over. Amusement park company Six Flags is filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. Experts say it's due in large part to their money-losing ride, Chrysler Mountain." --Conan O'Brien

"Iran had its presidential election. President Ahma-Dinna-Jacket was way behind in the polls. And then, lo and behold, he won big, everywhere — in big cities, rural areas, even in Florida." --Craig Ferguson

"Election returns are kind of hard to believe. According to the numbers, both opposition candidates lost to Ahma-Dinna-Jacket in their hometowns. That's like Barack Obama losing in the city of Chicago. I'm not, in any way, suggesting Iranian politics are as corrupt as Chicago, but even Blagojevich is like, 'Oh, they're good.'" --Craig Ferguson

"Well, the results from Iran's presidential elections are in. And Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has declared victory. But his opponent, Mir-Hossein Mousavi, is claiming ballot fraud and wants an investigation. If that doesn't work, he's planning on making a documentary about global warming." --Jimmy Fallon

Pimp my CRIB, Illinois Gets So Lonely Without Blago...

David Brooks
Dana Milbank
Peter Orszag
Jeffrey Gedmin

"This is the only country where poverty leads to obesity. And why is that? Because with food stamps you can go buy Twinkies, Milk Duds, and a six-pack of Bud, and then head home to one of your two color TVs as you live in poverty to watch the NFL on satellite TV." - Rush Limbaugh

"They released this week four prisoners who were previously held in Guantanamo Bay, and they've been cleared of their charges. And listen to this: they're resettling them in Bermuda and giving them each $100,000. In a related story, the entire population of Detroit said today they are part of al Qaeda." --Bill Maher



The new bad boys have formed a new club, and were in Russia for a summit meeting, trying to draw some attention to themselves. They call themselves BRIC, short for Brazil, Russia, India, and China, but if they really wanted to get the US's attention, they could rearange their acronym to read CRIB, and yes, host a hip tv show, Pimp my CRIB...

From the NY Times: "The first summit meeting of the so-called BRIC group — Brazil, Russia, India and China — was intended to underscore the rising economic clout of these four major developing countries and their demand for a greater voice in the world. And Russia, the group’s host and ideological provocateur, was especially interested in using the summit to fire a shot across Washington’s bow.

Shortly before the BRIC summit opened, a senior Kremlin economic adviser told reporters that Russia was considering moving some of its currency reserves out of dollars and into bonds issued by the other three BRIC countries... At the same time, most economists say the BRIC countries can do little to change the current architecture of the global financial system, and that the outcome of this meeting will be largely symbolic.

The BRIC countries comprise about 15 percent of the world economy and, perhaps more important, have about 40 percent of global currency reserves. Brazil, India and China have also weathered the financial crisis better than the world as a whole.

While they are far from a monolithic group, they are generally united in their frustration with the dollar’s status as the world’s reserve currency, which enables Washington to run budget deficits without fear of facing the kind of budgetary day of reckoning that other countries risk.

The excess dollars pile up in foreign central banks, leaving those countries with a difficult choice: reinvesting the dollars in United States securities or holding them and facing an increase in the value of their own currencies, making their products less competitive in world markets."

Russia has been trying to consolidate its influence over former satellite territories, by creating a collective security agreement: " — which some see as an eventual counterweight to NATO — was signed by the leaders of Armenia, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Russia and Tajikistan. It was not signed by Uzbekistan, which has raised objections to some provisions, or Belarus. Andrei Popov, a spokesman for Belarus’s Foreign Ministry, told the Interfax news agency that the agreement was not valid because there was no consensus among members." In retaliation, Russia banned a list of over 1,200 dairy products that normally is imported from Belarus into Russia, and is a crippling blow to that country's economy.

During last winter, Russia turned off the natural gas that flowed through the Ukraine and into Europe, saying that the Ukraine hadn't paid their bill and showing them that they had little clout when it came to negotiating the price of gas with the new Russia. I can only wait to see what happens as Russia gets to play more and more on the world stage, what heavy, non-subtle tactics they will use to get their way, promoting a new cold war in the process. In Israel, while Benjamin Netanyahu plays with the US, his RIGHT right hand, Avigdor Lieberman is cozying up to Mother Russia's generous teat, an image I created with Putin in mind...


Citizens of Illinois have often taken a perverse pride in the history of corruption that thrives in their state. After removing their , a lot of tough talking was done by every legislator to any media source that would listen, how they were gonna clean up this town for decent, God fearin' folk like Sarah and Joe... Yet, according to the NY Times this year they fell way short of their stated goals: "State leaders, for example, delayed until later in the year a proposal to make the system of redrawing political districts less political; failed to decide on a proposal to let voters to recall political leaders; put off to further study the notion of financing campaigns with public money; and pushed aside a series of politically sensitive proposals to bolster legal tools for the authorities to investigate political corruption, set term limits for state lawmakers in leadership positions, and shorten the campaign season by moving primary election dates closer to general election.

David Hoffman, a member of Mr. Quinn’s reform commission who is also the inspector general for the City of Chicago, said, “We should have been able to get more on some of these important issues because its unlikely that’s there’s going to be a repeat performance.”

So, it doesn't matter if they spared the Rod or not, typical state-approved political corruption can continue unabated because they won't get around to it next year, or the year after that, or... leaving poor Mrs Blagojevich to continue eating giant bugs in rainforests to put grubs on the family table...

thank God Sarah Palin accepted David Letterman's apology...

late night jokes:

"Television, tonight, has finally gone completely digital in the United States of America ... Analog TV signals are no longer being beamed through the air, and yet monologue jokes will still be flying over Sarah Palin's head." --Bill Maher

"Our friend David Letterman made a harmless joke about Bristol Palin and everyone went nuts. Please, she's a grown girl. She can take care of herself. ... Not that the Republicans don't every week have a case of fake outrage, but this was especially ridiculous this week. Dave Letterman then invited Sarah Palin and her daughter onto the show, the young one, Willow. And Sarah Palin said, it would be wise to keep Willow away from him. That's right, he's 62 years old, he's going to f*ck her right there on the stage. He's going to pull open his jacket, take his stint from his heart surgery out and have his way with her right there. ... I'd worry a little more about the 18-year-old hockey players who knock up your daughters regularly." --Bill Maher

"David Letterman is from Indiana. This is not in his DNA to make a joke like this. In fact, the only bright side to this is that finally, there's a comedian under fire for inappropriate remarks and it's not me." --Bill Maher

"They had elections today in Iran. Apparently it's still too close to call. They say if the vote is still close by tomorrow, there will be a runoff election next week, and then the usual series of lawsuits from Norm Coleman." --Bill Maher

"It's a little different over there when they have an election in Iran, because the women, they get to vote over there. Unlike our ally Saudi Arabia. But in Iran, the women get to vote and it's great, because they're already wearing the booth." --Bill Maher

"It's been reported, I think this just came out today, that 11 percent of Americans still think that President Obama is a Muslim. Apparently, it's the same 11 percent who still think Adam Lambert would be perfect for their daughter." --Conan O'Brien

"The country of Iran is holding its presidential election with four candidates running. Iranians will have to decide which candidate is best prepared to lead them into the 12th century." --Conan O'Brien

"This is crazy. You probably saw this. Former President George Bush Sr. celebrated his 85th birthday today by skydiving with CNN anchor Robin Meade. Fox News reported the story as, 'Liberal media pushes old man out of airplane.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Tonight's the night of the big television digital switchover. According to some estimates, when the analog signal is cut off and switched to digital tonight, nearly 1 million people could be left without TV service,' which 'means NBC could lose dozens of viewers." --Conan O'Brien

"There's a movie out now called 'The Taking of Pelham 1, 2, 3.' And it's a remake. They originally made this movie in 1974. But it's been updated, this movie. In this version, the subway is hijacked by Somali pirates." --David Letterman

"Hey, celebrity birthday. Donald Trump, 63 years old this weekend. Trump says he'll celebrate this year by destroying pristine wetlands and putting up overpriced condos." --David Letterman

"Yesterday, President Obama wrote a note for a fourth grade girl who skipped school so she could attend his town hall meeting. I don't see what the big deal is. Bush wrote notes to fourth graders, too. He just called them speeches." --Jimmy Fallon

Letterman's Top Ten Questions Congress Is Receiving About the Digital Switchover

10. If I don't switch over, is my teevee gonna 'splode?
9. Is this 'cuz of the swine flu?
8. Can I still mute "The View"?
7. Will I have to do a digital switchover for my waffle maker also?
6. Any chance this will make Letterman funny?
5. Can you help me? I swallowed my remote.
4. Uh ... is that today?
3. Can you pass a law to bring back "Gunsmoke"?
2. Does this mean Oprah can finally see me watching her?
1. Seriously, shouldn't you idiots be working on the economy?

Iranian Backlash, US Loves to Hate

Geithner & Summers
Paul Krugman
Andrew Breitbart
Tina Brown

"We apologize for being late – the American general needed permission to enter the building," - Ali al-Dabbagh

"US combat forces will leave the cities by June 30 and it will be a great day for the Iraqi people," - Ray Odierno


The first two links above deal with the economy. i know that most people don't like to read economics, so I try to keep to the more interesting or important articles. The first is from Timothy Geithner and Larry Summers, and they want to regain your trust. You'll have to decide if they were persuasive or not, especially after reading Paul Krugman afterwards. The next article is from a right of center writer who likes to use longer sentences than I do. He is influential to many others and I am amazed at how he uses inflammatory language while wriiting about being the victim of left winginflmmatory language. Neat trick. Last, is Tina Brown taking Sarah Palin to school, a must read fror Palin wonks.

This morning, Mir Mousavi showed up at a rally in Tehran, the first public outing for him since Friday night, when reports of him being arrested or detained were being snuck out of the country. Rallies in his support have been steady since Friday night, despite the secret police doing their best to stop things by going out and arresting people in their homes at night, and going to the University and ransacking dormitories, beating up students, smashing computers and conviscating hard drives... The biggest losers in all of this will be women, who were hoping to have more state supported equality and a greater role in government.

The Great Supreme Burrito has asked for a probe into the election for fraud, but don't get up from your desk to do it, according to the Christian Science Monitor: "In a bid to ease three days of street protests and violence in the capital and across the country, Iran's supreme religious leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei on Sunday ordered the powerful Guardian Council to "carefully probe" allegations of fraud listed in a letter from Mousavi that called for results to be annulled because of fraud.

Although some Mousavi supporters might see hope in that action, experts in Tehran are skeptical that Mr. Khameini would adjust a result. On Saturday – just a day after the vote, instead of the customary three – he sanctioned Ahmadinejad's victory, calling it a "divine assessment."

It's not that Mousavi is another Barack Obama, he was Prime Minister during the Iran - Iraq war, and his heavy-handed actions may have been the reason the office of president was established. He issued the death order for author Salman Rushdie. In the meantime, the newly divinely annointed Mr Ahmedinejad is acting even tougher and more hard line than before. Cynics win this one... Expect more Shia on Sunni violence in Iraq as a result of this election, especially as US troops withdraw from the cities by the end of the month.


An interesting fallout has occurred in the wake of the Roeder and Von Braun shootings. Many conservative writers are protesting, claiming they are being dumped on by the left because they happen to share some of the same views as the shooters. Jeremy Lott says: "The shooting was roped together with Scott Roeder’s alleged murder of late-term abortionist George Tiller. Armchair prosecutors called this the second act of right-wing terrorism in two weeks and thus part of a worrying trend, even though the usual rule with such things is, you need three.

They also blistered conservatives and libertarians for criticizing the now-withdrawn Department of Homeland Security memo that warned law enforcement to be on the lookout for acts of homegrown terror."

Most people in the US consider themselves to be conservative. Despite people like Grover Nordquist or Newt Gingrich, who think they make the policies that define what a conservative is, there's a lot of room for debate. Its sitting down and arguing over terms, being able to listen to more than one opinion, that makes for healthy debate and moves the political parties forward. Its the peope farther out into the fringe, who cannot form their own opinion, and twists the meanings of what they do hear, that can become dangerous and even mentally ill. They are constantly frustrated and that frustration turns into hate. Instead of being able to listen, they can only preach. Weird logic gets created like killing a doctor because you believe in the sanctity of life.This is true of the fringe elements of both right and left.

So, if you read about someone who has committed a murder, and you happen to share some of the same beliefs as the murderer, should you get paranoid or go all defensive, like Andrew Breitbart? Paranoia can be healthy, if you pay attention to it and re-examine those ideas to see if they are healthy or not. Its how we progress as we get older, keeping what works and throwing out what doesn't. Now, if only we could get Congress to do the same, say put a sunset clause in each new piece of legislation, to be re-examined to see if it works after 20 years or so...

Mir Mousavi Sings the Blues...

Frank Rich
Kathleen Parker
Jane Mayer
Mir Hossein Mousavi

"I turn to Arab leaders: Let's make peace, I am ready," Benjamin Netanyahu

"These are Americans “out there in a scary place,” - Shepard Smith


Benjamin Netanyahu gave his policy speech today, and it was better than anyone expected, as reported in the Jerusalem Post: ""To achieve peace, courage and honesty are necessary from both sides. The Palestinians must say - 'enough with this conflict. We recognize Israel's right to exist, and want to live by their side.'

"A public Palestinian recognition of Israel as a Jewish nation-state is a prerequisite for regional peace," Netanyahu said.
"In the heart of Israel there lives a large group of Palestinians," the prime minister continued, noting his will to see a demilitarized Palestinian state existing peacefully alongside Israel.

"For peace," he said, "we must ensure that Palestinians have no weapons and the opportunity to create pacts with hostile forces.We ask that the US commit that in the end-deal the Palestinian territory will be demilitarized. Without that, sooner or later, we will have another 'Hamastan.' And Israel can't agree to that."

"I told Obama that if we agree on the essence, the semantics won't matter," Netanyahu added."

It looks like the major parties can sit down immediately and begin hammring out the details.This could be a historic moment, and we may see Middle Eastern peace in our lifetime, unless it's my optimism overtaking me again...


Well, we've witnessed the Iranian elections, and if its the most honest of all Islamic states, then they are all doomed to living lies in a state controlled environment, much like what our own anti-big government protestors are warning about, all watched over by machines of loving grace... First of all, there were 475 candidates who registered to campaign against Ahmadinejad, and the state made the decision on who the four candidates that did run would be. I didn't realize that Mir Mousavi and the Grand Supreme Ayetollah Burrito have a feud and don't like each other going back over 30 years.

The state assumed that none of their handpicked moderates would win against Ahmadinejad, and so they didn't have a plan in place to steal the election, which is why what they did do seems so fake and lame, just switching the results, giving the majority percentages to Ahmadinejad, and the losing ones to Mousavi. They first reported a landslide victory for Ahmadinejad two hours after th polls closed by counting over five million votes in those two hours. During late Friday night, police came to 200 of the opposing parties houses and took them to jail, and no, they don't have anything resembling Miranda rights.

Back here at home, the two funniest political feuds to watch are the mudslinging back and forth over the Sonia Sotomajor nomination and the Sarah Palin - David Letterman feud. Whenever the latest stories come out on digital television, i break out a beer, get comfy in my leather chair, send grandkids out of the room, and crank the sound up. It's muic to my ears when white men accuse others of racism and its so obvious that they haven't a clue what they are talking about. Go brother Newt! Preach it Rushbo! Strike a blow for intellectual dishonesty,and another for faked outrage...

And Sarah is using her children again to create a platform in the public spotlight. Aren't her 15 minutes up yet? At east Joe the Plumber knew when to pack it up and go home. Yes David Letterman, who often uses retread jokes from the Tonight Show, went into the realm of bad taste with the Alex Rodriguez joke. One salvo back and forth should have been enough, even Todd Palin's statement saying that Dave didn't quite do enough to apologize should have ended it. But now having Sarah getting up and preaching that all decent Americans should rise up against gang raping 14 year old girls is a bit much and an obvious manipulation of the event. She might as well take Willow out on tour with her, as sh'e shamelessly adding her kids into the mix instead of protecting them from public scrutiny. Do you think the older girl Bristol wasn't rebelling against an overbearing, manipulative mother when she got knocked up? It's clear love had nothing to do with it...

In celebration, here are some late night Sarah Palin jokes:

"Sarah Palin is all over the news lately. She told Matt Lauer on the 'Today' show that, yes, the rumors were true, on election night she did want to deliver her own concession speech and she was disappointed that she couldn't. Well, she shouldn't feel bad. Wait till 2012. Deliver it then." --Jay Leno

"This is true, according to a new report, I was reading this today in the paper, thousands of pregnant mothers in this country are planning to name their baby Barack. That's true. Yeah, after hearing this, Sarah Palin told Bristol, 'Don't even think about it.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Well, according to a new post-election survey, people want Sarah Palin to run for president in 2012. It says she's been getting thousands of calls from people pleading with her to run, all Democrats." --Jay Leno

"Of course, everybody now is speculating what the future of the GOP will be. GOP now stands for, of course, 'Ganging up on Palin.'" --Jay Leno

"Sarah Palin thinks the alphabet has 22 letters. She's so dumb she thinks the capital of China is Chinatown. Sarah Palin is so dumb, she thinks billboards are postcards from giants. The governor of Alaska is so dumb, she thinks soy milk is Spanish for 'I am milk.'" --"Daily Show" correspondent Wyatt Cenac

"Of course, a lot of famous sound bites will be remembered for this campaign. There were some good ones. Barack Obama saying, what was his one? Oh, 'We are the change that we seek.' John McCain saying, 'I would rather lose an election than lose a war.' Sarah Palin saying, 'Do you have this in size 6?'" --Jay Leno

"President-elect Barack Obama spent the day thanking the people who helped him win the election. Yeah, and actually, Obama's first phone call was to Sarah Palin. He sent her flowers." --Conan O'Brien

"Sources from the McCain campaign are starting to talk. And they said today that when they were prepping Sarah Palin for the debates, they found out that she thought Africa was a country, not a continent. Now, to be fair to Sarah Palin, it is hard to see Africa from Alaska." --Conan O'Brien

"How about Sarah Palin, ladies and gentlemen. Right now on her way back to Alaska. And I'm thinking oh, I wouldn't want to be a moose now. But on the bright side, at least now Tina Fey can spend Saturdays with her family again, so that's a good deal." --David Letterman

"People all over the world are celebrating Barack Obama's victory. In fact, Sarah Palin watched the Russians celebrating from her house." --David Letterman

"You know who is really, really happy that John McCain did not win last night? The boyfriend of Sarah Palin's daughter. He doesn't have to get married now. 'Whew, thank God!'" --Jay Leno

"Actually, Sarah Palin was pretty upset last night. Did you see her? Yeah, well, she wasn't upset because she lost. Now she's got to give all of her clothes back." --Jay Leno

"A lot of speculation about Sarah Palin's future, but last night, she denied rumors that she's getting ready to run for president in 2012. Palin said, 'That's a long time away. I'll be a great-grandmother by then.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Sarah Palin made three campaign stops today: Saks, Nieman Marcus and Bloomingdales." --Jay Leno

"I guess there seems to be some trouble brewing between Sarah Palin and John McCain. McCain aides say that Sarah Palin is 'going rogue' and not taking advice or notes from the McCain campaign. They say it is hard to keep her from going off script and making statements that hurt the campaign. It's gotten so bad, her Secret Service codename is now 'Joe Biden.'" --Jay Leno

"Here's how it works. Election is Tuesday. And then Wednesday is the first day of Sarah Palin's 2012 campaign." --David Letterman

"You know what? This always happens in politics. Sarah Palin, when she gets on the ticket, everybody is going, whoa, how about this? Come on. Look out. Here we go. We got us something here, you know. Now everything has turned around. McCain staffers are saying Sarah Palin has turned into a diva and is making diva demands. Here's what they're talking about. A couple of days ago, Lenscrafters had to stay open after hours so Sarah could shop alone. Today, she hit a speech writer with her cell phone." --David Letterman

"According to expense reports, Sarah Palin charged the state of Alaska over $21,000 for her children to travel with her on official business. In fairness to Gov. Palin, when she leaves them home alone they get pregnant." --Seth Meyers

"Alaska's largest newspaper has endorsed Barack Obama despite the fact that their governor is Sarah Palin. Luckily for Palin, it's one of the 500 newspapers she doesn't read." --Conan O'Brien

"Sarah Palin is taking heat because the Republican National Committee has so far spent $150,000 on wardrobe for her and her family. She spent $50,000 at Saks Fifth Avenue, $75,000 at Neiman Marcus and about $5,000 on hair and makeup. Hey, representing small town, common-folk hockey moms isn't cheap, folks." --Jimmy Kimmel

"It turns out the highest paid person in the McCain campaign, not the campaign manager, not the pollsters -- Palin's makeup artist. I'm not kidding. She flies to every city where Palin appears. And McCain, he just gets the local gal who does the funeral home. It's not as bad as it sounds. The makeup girl is also Palin's top foreign policy adviser." --Bill Maher

"Sarah Palin was asked a question by a third grader and she got it wrong. She apparently still does not know what the vice president does ... She says he or she runs the Senate. No, not in this country. You know I would never accuse George Bush of being a bright man, but when he was elected, at least he knew which building to show up to." --Bill Maher

Finding my Personal Pony with Ahmadinejad and Health Reform,

Robert Reich
Marc Ambinder

"This presidential election in Iran and having a 'president' is a buffer for the mullahs.  It is to create an image to the world that there is some sort of freedom of choice in terms of the leadership in Iran, when we know there is not." - Rush Limbaugh


Every so often I need a good kick in the pants when my view of the world gets too idealistic. I'm often reminded of the old joke about what makes an eternal optimist. A young boy was always looking at the bright side of life, and so his family decided to teach him a lesson. On his irthday he was presented the key to a door in his house. Opening the door he found a room full of horse manure. Laughing and shouting with glee, the boy jumped right into the room and began digging away.

Appalled at his behavior, his uncle asked him why he was so happy digging in a room full of horse s**t.The boy replied, "There must be a pony in here somewhere!."

Iran must have been my pony, I was actually believing the hype that there would be honest elections giving the people a choice, and not the predetermined selection that happens in every other Middle Eastern country. Conspiracy theorists apply the same logic to Western elections too; that heads of state are chosen, never elected... I wonder if the population of Iran will sink back down into cynicism and sullen despair, or if they will continue to look for ponies of their own... Joe Klein e-mailed this to time magazine, on the difficulty of the Iranian ballots: "The candidates are listed by name and by number...and also by code. You vote by writing down the candidate's name and then his...what? Number...or code? No one is quite sure. The leading reformer, Mir-Hussein Moussavi, has the number 4 and the code 777. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has the number 1 and the code 444. So the question arises: If you vote for Moussavi and list his number as 4...have you actually voted for Ahmadinejad? And why on earth have they devised such a complicated ballot in the first place?

A representative of the Guardian's Council, which is monitoring the polling stations, told me at the Hossein Ershad Mosque in North Tehran that none of this mattered. "Only the name on the ballot matters," she said.

Let's hope so."

The next big thing on Obama's agenda is health care reform. I guess you've been reading up on it, there are a couple of good summaries on the links provided above this post. There is so much being written that it's difficult to tell if the author is actually doing their homework or is a bought and paid for shill by some part of the insurance industry. There are 30 members of Congress involved in the committees that need to recuse themselves, but they are not. If you read or hear a public statement from any of these people, included on this link to the Washington Post, then be aware of the investments they have and possibly have been bribed to make their statement... The list includes John Kerry, Jane Harmon, Orrin Hatch, Eric Cantor, John Kyle, and John Boehner.

From the Christian ScienceMonitor is a good article on just what Obama wants in health care: "President Obama has launched an aggressive public effort for reform, laying out in broad terms what he would like in legislation – but no ultimatums on specifics. He has framed the debate as reform versus no reform, with a goal of lowered costs and a reduction in the ranks of the uninsured, now at 46 million Americans. Indeed, Mr. Obama’s only requirement, say senators from both parties, is that Congress pass something.

In a town hall meeting in Green Bay, Wis., Thursday, Obama promoted creation of a new public insurance plan, designed to compete with private insurers and bring down costs. But that “public option” is on the ropes. Republicans object vehemently to the idea, arguing it could drive private insurers out of business and lead to a government-run health insurance system. The powerful American Medical Association, which Obama addresses on Monday in Chicago, also opposes the public insurance option." So, of the hundreds of critical articles already written, they are just spinning their wheels trying to get us in a negative state of mind to automatically oppose whatever plan is developed... Letting the Republican Party live up to being the party that just says no.

The truly strangest spin I have ever read ocurred by Rush Limbaugh and others, saying that the Holocaust Denier, Nazi Sympathizer, 88 year old white guy who shot and killed a guard at Washington's Holocaust Museum was actually a crazy liberal because he had the address of a local FoxNews station on a hit list found in his car. The man is not a right wing mentally ill person after all... This is the thinnest stretch of logic I have ever seen, and we have no reason why Fox News was included. I surmise that it was because he expected to have his views validated every time he watched Fox, since they tend to foment right wing theory. Because he was way out on the fringe, not even Fox could validate his claims and he got increasingly agitated over it as his finances got worse.Or, maybe he was planning on showing up after he gunned down the Jews at the Museum, to go on the air and be welcomed as a hero by Fox and friends. We may never know, buttrying to make him into a liberal is a sick,twisted attempt at a joke, and the other mentally ill right wingers need to start accepting how crazy their ideas on social policies really are, stop denying the truth and try to get some therapy before this keeps on building towards a racial war.

late night jokes: we begin with David Letterman, who may not be on the air much longer, ifsarah Palin gets her way

"Well, it's been a busy week here on the late show. Earlier in the week, I made some jokes that upset Sarah Palin. And I was telling jokes about her family and stuff. She got really upset. And I think everything's fine now. I think everything's going to be great because she called today and offered to take me hunting." --David Letterman

"Here's big news from the world of TV. And I don't know if you guys are ready for this or not. If you have an old TV, tomorrow, it won't work unless you digitalize it. You've got to get a converter thing and a lot of people are confused about this. For example, earlier today, John McCain wanted to know after the conversion, will his TV dinner still work." --David Letterman

"You folks been following the Iranian elections? Well this guy, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, he's running for re-election. Have you seen this guy? This guy looks like the kind of guy that tries to get to you buy a cell phone you don't need. You know what I mean?" --David Letterman

"He looks like one of those guys that would be wearing a Members Only jacket." --David Letterman

"He looks like one of those guys they drag away every week on 'Dateline', you know what I mean?" --David Letterman

"Boy, here's a story that won't go away. Miss California - remember Miss California? Got herself in a lot of trouble, shooting her mouth off. Gee, I wonder what that's like." --David Letterman

"Well, now, Miss California's been fired. Don't worry. President Obama said he will announce a replacement within a week, so that will be good." --David Letterman

"Fiat, which took over Chrysler this week, says it plans to build its cars with American, not Italian workers. Fiat says they got the idea from the Olive Garden." --Conan O'Brien

"A top Republican is angry that Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor belongs to an elite private group. The top Republican's angry, and so is everyone at his country club." --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday, the controversial Miss California, Carrie Prejean, who famously opposed gay marriage, was stripped of her title. Not only that, her chances of becoming Miss San Francisco are really looking slim." --Conan O'Brien

"Now, everyone is going to be fine, I want to stress that. But earlier today, the NBC medical director sent out an e-mail saying several NBC employees have been diagnosed with the swine flu. Unfortunately, none of those employees have anything to do with 'I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Some controversy today surrounding Miss California, Carrie Prejean. She's the one who said she was against same-sex marriage. Some wanted her to be stripped of her title because of it, but Donald Trump, who owns the pageant, said no, she's entitled to her opinion and she'll remain Miss California. Well, today he fired her, which is what he does, I guess. My money says she's a Fox News anchor by the ... by now. By right now." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Karl Rove called Maureen Dowd of The New York Times a 'bitter, twisted, deranged columnist' and a 'dour, downbeat liberal' and - more - a 'nasty, snarky person.' Hey, get a room." --Jimmy Fallon

"Congress is considering a bill that would force advertisers to lower the volume of their TV commercials. OK, how did my mother get in Congress? When did that happen?" --Jimmy Fallon

"Venezuela has banned the sale of Coke Zero, because of unspecified health risks. Still not banned in Venezuela: actual coke." --Jimmy Fallon

"This is interesting. Researchers have found that people who drive drunk are more dangerous on the road than drivers who are high on marijuana. Don't get too excited. It's mostly because the drivers using marijuana are just sitting in the Taco Bell drive-through." --Jimmy Fallon

"Big science news. A new element will be added to the periodic table. It's the heaviest element in the table. It's called ununbium, which is Latin for 'thigh of Rush Limbaugh.'" --Jimmy Fallon

"Iran is bracing itself for their upcoming presidential election. President Ahmadinejad is behind in the polls. I think it's because of his campaign slogan, 'Vote for me, and I won't cut off your hand.'" --Craig Ferguson

"Politics is very similar over there as here. Ahmadinejad says if he's elected, he'll bail out the camel industry." --Craig Ferguson