The Scottish Vote, ISIS Ties Knot in Obama's Tail

"The official ballot is one line: 'Should Scotland be an independent country?' And that's it. Why is it that I have to go through 18 pages of terms and conditions to download iOS 8 while a whole country can secede from the United Kingdom by checking a box that says 'Yes'?" – Jimmy Kimmel

"British Prime Minister David Cameron went to Scotland this week to persuade citizens of the country to vote 'no' on leaving the U.K. He said, 'It's never worked out for anyone-well except America, and Canada, Australia, India, and . . . I'll stop talking now.'" – Jimmy Fallon

Today is the day that the Scots vote to become independent from England - or not. I don't really care much about the outcome, since I'm not Scottish, but I do admire how civilized the whole process is, perhaps an object lesson the Irish might learn... I'm of  German ancestry on my mother's side, and Welsh and English extraction on my father's side. If I were to vote I'd have to vote to stay with England, even though my heart goes out for all tribes to be free. My last name says that we are sons of William the Conqueror, given land to settle as reward for being in his army, and we settled around the Welsh border, pretending that we were native to that plot of land...

If letting Scotland become independent will lower the price of my favorite single malt whiskies, then set those Orkney Islanders free, dammit. And while we're at it, let's annex Cuba like we did to Puerto Rico and bring back the five cent Cuban cigar. It would cost five dollars these days, but well worth it. Funny how some luxuries in life often take precedent over abstract ideas like human rights...

Among other popular abstract ideas is the establishment of an Islamic Caliphate, declared by both Boko Haram and ISIS. Both groups take delight in invading and taking land by force, and killing everyone who gets in their way. Beheading is becoming so popular that it is getting its own Youtube channel...

For some guilty reason, the US believes that it is responsible for taking out ISIS, setting president Obama in a quandary. He had vowed never to send US troops back into Iraq, despite the CIA having never left and continuing to "train" Iraqi troops, who have a bad tendency to strip off their uniforms and run away when the going gets tough, and real bullets are being fired. Which tells us a lot about the quality of CIA training these days...

Even worse, is the perplexing attitude of all the other Arab countries, who don't plan on lifting a finger to help, content to let the Great Satan and his Western allies run amok in the desert again. Perhaps we should just let them all alone, let the two Caliphates end up at war with each other, letting the Iranians pick up the pieces. Then the Islamic Caliphate of ISIS would be reduced to a small part of Iraq, quarantined off much like we do with our Native Indians. Heck, we could even sell them firewater and film the results, print up bumper-stickers that read:

The only Good Caliphate is a Dead Caliphate, y'all

We could sell these to the Shias, and the Kurds, and to the US rednecks. I'd even send one to Lindsey Graham and John McCain, even to ol' Clint if it would make his day... what we should have done was to have drafted George W Bush to go over and become our permanent envoy to Iraq. It would have been his personal responsibility to guide the Iraqi government towards democracy and away from extinction of all Iraqi Sunnis, a task he'd need the help of his best friend Dick Cheney...

The only problem that I could come up with is that they would have staked him out in the desert long ago, or that all of our hawkish Neo-Conservatives would migrate over to become one with their BFF, heck of a good job, Georgie. Of course, then we'd be contemplating bombing Iraq because the neo-cons would have set up a Neo-Conservative Caliphate,ready to administer freedom to all Middle Eastern liberty lovin' folk...

Putin and Peanut-head, Despots in the Making

 

  Last week it seemed that the world was going to Hell in a hand-basket, the hot Summer days making the militants bitchy and mean, to paraphrase an old song by the folk-singer John Stewart...

Now I can sit back, read the newspaper, and marvel at the stupidity of Vladimir Putin or whomever had the idea to send 260 Trojan Horses into the Ukraine, disguised as humanitarian aid. They are camped out near the border because they won't let anyone look at the cargo inside the trucks, which are all badly repainted military trucks, driven by men who say they are not soldiers, all wearing the same brown shorts, t-shirts, and brown caps. It gives an ominous tone to the phrase "what can Brown do for you..." A few of the trucks tried to sneak across the border at night, and were destroyed beyond recognition by Ukrainian forces, probably drones provided by western allies.

This game of humanitarian charades is about to end. Inspectors from the Red Cross or someone equally important are on their way, and we may soon learn if there is even one six-pack of bottled water in those 260 trucks, or will they slink back to Moscow, hiding their secrets, thinking up some great excuse to tell Mr. Putin. Or. will every driver get tired of playing, put on their uniforms and battle gear, making a mad dash to free Donetsk, or the very least, beef up the defenses in Crimea... I know that Putin doesn't like it when he's made fun of, but if he keeps on doing really stupid things, then telling dumb, transparent lies about them, he will end up the laughing-stock of the world...

Speaking of telling transparent lies, the GOP keeps trying to blame President Obama for everything bad that's going on in the world, including the rise of  ISIS in Iraq and Syria. The argument goes that if Obama had sent arms to the Syrian rebels or had left some American troops in Iraq, there probably wouldn't be any ISIS running rampant up and down Iraq, claiming towns for their own brand of Islamic Caliphate.

But if any one person should take the blame, it's Mr. Peanut-head himself, the Prime Minister of Iraq, Nouri al-Malicki. He made sure that the US didn't leave any troops behind, he also created a government of intolerance, ruled by Shias, and fuck the Sunnis. He arrested his political opponents, and chased out of the country anyone who had talent or leadership qualities, allowed the bombing of Sunni neighborhoods and gathering places. Yes, he became a Saddam mini-me...

And now, with pressure from both the US and our new BFF's in Iran, al-Malicki has finally agreed to step down and let some moderates try to form a more inclusive government. We'll see if this happens or if it really is too late. Of course, we could always let the Kurds take over the whole country. They have already proven that they can rule an area intelligently, without all of the drama and intolerance...

From Insane Right-Wing Russians to Insane Right-Wing Palestinians, It's a Hot Summer

I can't believe that I took such a long time off from this blog... It's certainly easier to turn on the TV and zone out watching reality shows than sitting down and trying to compose something entertaining. I thought that using a laptop would inspire creativity in more places, but found that balancing the keyboard on my lap is more difficult than sitting down at my desk in a more formal setting, there are too many ways to be distracted and us old men tend to take a lot of naps during the daytime...

I've long contended that people who are stuck in right-wing thinking are mentally ill and certifiably insane, and events playing out on the world stage right now are proving me correct. The most dangerous player, besides Ted Cruz, has to be Vladimir Putin. I see him, in some paranoid moment, reacting to some statement by the West making fun of him yet again, saying fuck it and launching his arsenal of nuclear weapons. It's enough to make the collective of Generals and Admirals salivate in their doggy bowls...

What is worse is how high Putin's approval rating is among Russians, which shows that the vast majority of the Russian people are working with the equivalent of an eighth grade education. He is going to become the permanent head of state, alternating between President and Prime Minister for the rest of his life, or until he convinces folks to let him combine the two posts for convenience sake. He has been chumming around with the heads of the Russian Orthodox Church, getting their support, and by extension, the approval of all Russian Christians, for when he combines both church and state. Many of the rebels in the Ukraine are Christians and are ecstatic that Putin is also a believer.

Putin's appearance as a strong figure willing to put guns in the hands of fellow believers may explain why many good-old-boy-southern-republicans are impressed with him, including too many congressmen... They don't see the short, neurotic, cruel man behind the mask. His ex-wife, when asked why she was divorcing him, said that it was because he was a "monster." Or, she said so until she was threatened to have her money cut off, among other threats... Even Germany's leader, Angela Merkel, has reported to Obama that ol' Vlad is detached from reality, and is not someone you can trust to make clear-headed decisions...

Another fun group that may set off WW111, are the leaders of Israel and Palestine. They make North Korea look like pre-schoolers when it comes to fanaticism. There's nothing more dangerous than a government full of hawkish, right-wing Jews butting antlers with even more hawkish, right-wing Islamic jihadists, whose name is Hamas. It's bad enough that Israel is ruled by a man who proclaimed, earlier in his career, that there would never be a Palestinian state while he was in charge, then add to this volatile mix a leadership in Palestine who are insane. Hamas has taken a page from the Zionist playbook, from back when restaurants and government buildings were bombed to agitate for the creation of a state called Israel. By firing missiles into Israel, they provoke a heavy, ham-handed reaction, and hope that the killing of civilian children in Gaza will bring about an international response and the formation of a Palestinian state. Cynically, Hamas feels the more children the Israelis bomb, the better their chances. Plus, since over half of the population in Gaza is made up of kids under 21, there will be less mouths to feed afterwards, less jobs to provide, and more martyrs for their cause, blaming Israel and the US for the carnage while they sit in their underground bunkers smoking hashish.

Israel could end all aggression and solve the problem in one weekend, if they wanted to. Details could be hammered out within a month, making John Kerry strut around afterwards, saying "who's the man!"