Putin's Spies, I Am the Walrus

what, me worried?

Of course, Vladimir Putin won re-election by the, surprise, surprise, margin of 75%, as he predicted. A spokeswoman for the Kremlin said that it showed how democracy has progressed in Russia, because during the Communist regime, the required turnout had to be 98 - 99% ... and please ignore those videos that show ballot boxes being stuffed, those are just hard working volunteers!

The fallout from Putin's attempting to assassinate an ex-KGB spy and his daughter with a military nerve gas and left for dead on a park bench in an English village, has incited the British government to expel known Russian spies, and sixteen other countries have also expelled over 140 "diplomats," 60 from the US. Leaving about 60 others to tread carefully on their way to Burger King or Panda Express... Just be lucky we didn't feed them from some rusted and dented cans of pork and beans...

Putin promised to turn the Russian economy around, probably by turning Crimea into one large pot farm, and marketing it to the US and Europe. Then we could nickname him Vlad the Inhaler... His critics will now be sent to the frontlines in Syria, with copies of proposed US gun legislation pasted to their foreheads...


Are you enjoying the Sean Hannity White House? Be glad that Donald Trump isn't addicted to

ready to plug those leaks, Mr. President

watching cartoons or Sesame Street... though he did just hire the Bolton Big Bird to help him come up with some hawkish moves. John Bolton was the Ted Cruz of the Bush administration, nobody liked him very much, and he was too loud and whiny. He never met a situation that couldn't be improved upon by bombing the crap out of it, and his sights are set on North Korea an Iran. Yes, he's a character straight out of Dr. Strangelove... Now, if only we could strap him to the first bomb we drop, ki-yo-yippee all the way...

Koo - Koo - Katchoo!

The Nailbiter Russian Election

Sunday is the election in Russia for Prime Minister, with Vladimir Putin weighing in against Harold Stassen, or the Russian equivalent. In other words there is the Communist Party candidate, and a couple other lesser-knowns, all whom have been disallowed any television coverage, the closest he could get to wiping them from the face of the earth. It's not like they are a constant threat like journalists...

To prepare himself for the election, Vlad has gone through his much practiced pre-election warmups: deny media coverage to his opponents, put some in jail, beat up others, or at least harass and intimidate them, and kill an ex-spy living in a foreign country... Oh wait, he just caused irreparable nerve damage and sent the spy into a coma, from which he may or may not recover... so try again, this time killing an ex-pat businessman. Mojo complete...

After his landslide victory in the face of an apathetic populace, Mr. Putin will change the name of Moscow to Mordor, and insist on being addressed as The Dark Lord, where he will rule alongside the equally corrupt Patriarch of the Russian Orthodox Church, whom you have never heard of...

This fits in with his self-perception of a patriotic tough guy because it's worked so well for him over the last 12 years. It's just that this shtick is wearing on the rest of the world, and it's time to move on...

RIP

RIP Steven Hawking

Our Pervert in Chief

It's been a frenetic few days for pundits and followers of all things Trump. I don't see how he could have made $5, much less millions, with the way he flip-flops whenever he makes a decision... Take gun control for example: a few days ago he supported upping the age you have to be to buy a gun to 21. People who like the idea of teenagers buying guns began to complain. After all, if a kid joins the military, we give them guns of all kinds to shoot... So now he is trying to find ways to walk back that promise by letting others carry the weight and squeal like a weasel to the press.

When Donald spontaneously decided that he would meet North Korea's leader in person, the South Korean envoys should have grabbed him and whisked him away to Korea before either leader could change their minds. I mean, get the two most volatile, unpredictable leaders in the world together for a chat over nuclear weapons, and what could go wrong??? And predictably, now Donald is flopping around like a flounder, changing his mind with each gigantic wriggle, so who knows if this meeting of the narcissists will ever take place. Offer these guys a McDonald's quarter pounder with perfect fries as a guarantee...

Donald has acted like this all of his life, but being President has only reinforced all of his bad personality traits, like being mean and verbally abusive towards his staff. The ones who don't like it leave, while the ones who either like the abuse, like Hope Hicks, or enjoy being as abusive as he is, like his personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, who role-plays every character in a 1940's gangster movie, stay to create their own personal Hell. Or, as he told reporters for the Daily Beast: "So I'm warning you, tread very fucking lightly, because what I am going to do to you is going to be fucking disgusting. You understand me?"

In his book, Fire and Fury, Michael Wolff says that Steve Bannon told him that Michael Cohen probably has paid off hundreds of women over the years who had affairs with Donald Trump, or enough that Michael created a non-disclosure boiler-plate that includes handing over all sexts, dick pictures, or paternity's in the woman's possession. Making the $130,000 paid to the porn actress Stormy Daniels less unique and why Michael messed up handling the whole situation. Now, Ms. Daniels stands to make a whole lot more money telling her side of her affair in pornographic detail, maybe even a porn parody in the making...

The person most wronged and embarrassed by all of this is Melania Trump, who has known about the affairs when they happen, and explains why she is often angry at a man whom she cannot trust. Even worse, is the effect these revelations are having on Trump's 12 year old son, Barron. Now there's some father issues in the making, right Donald Jr. and Eric???


 I also have a soft spot for the Russian professional model/escort Nastia Rybka, who is still pining away in a Thai jail; where I don't recommend you ever spend your vacation... Robert Mueller should exchange any information she claims to have and arrange for her to be deported to Tokyo, Japan. There, she can perfect her skills by learning the Japanese style of BDSM,  which is renowned the world over, and entertain CEO's from the US to Generals from Tehran, all who love to be hurt and humiliated by a professional Mistress...

Donald of Norway, Drones, and a Little Fish Twisting in the Net

"Sorta makes me look pretty good..."
                                                         possible real quote from George W. Bush

I expect new updates any day on Donald Trump's fake Nobel Peace Prize nomination. Last week it was discovered by the Nobel Prize committee that a nominator had his identity hacked and a fake nomination for Donald Trump had been submitted, with the same hacker also submitting one last year...

The matter was handed over to the Oslo police, who contacted the FBI, because it's thought to have originated in the US. If it's discovered that someone close to the White House, for example, by the name of Roger Stone is responsible, I'm not sure what the punishment would be besides another humiliation for Trump to yell at his staff about...

Donald rarely has any good news reported by the media lately, and his staff has been leaving in droves, over 38 so far, and there will be more once those with temporary security clearances are forced out the door. Once his personal set of Barbies leave, he will truly be a lonely old man, his friends are the ones left on Twitter... I expect the stress will affect his health badly, and he will be hospitalized soon. In the meantime. we will be exposed to a sea of crazy-making, which has become normal for this president.

I have been wondering who Donald's much commented base group of voters are, described as being dumb or frustrated white folk. Here in my town I've met Trump super-fans from all walks of life, some who fit the stereotypes, but many who don't. When I was in college, we didn't trust the government and I had a bumper sticker that said Question Authority... I'm curious how those old leftist mentality sifted through our culture and now is expressed by right-wing activists, and people who feel their lives frustrated by the American Dream and its bureaucratic subdivisions...



The coolest news story is that the nation of Norway is going to use underwater drones to locate trash

in their fiords to clean up. One major obstacle is that their are still a lot of mines planted from WW11, and contact could cause an explosion, making matters worse, cleanup-wise. If they buy drones from Russia, will they become unstoppable?

It's a short time until the Russian election, and Vladimir Putin is stepping up to the plate, puffing up about his nukes. making false promises economically, and publically worrying that his campaign could be targeted by western hackers. But it has been business as usual for that rascally leader, jailing his critics, beating some up, and assassinating someone in a foreign country...



Meanwhile, Nastia Rybka is still wasting away in a Thai jail, waiting to be shanked or deported back

to Russia for an even worse fate at the hands of a brutal oligarch, friend of Putin, member of the Russian mafia. I watched a panel on tv last night, and the 3 person panel were agreed that if her stories were true (and you can now watch a 39 minute video of her claims on both pornhub and youtube, subtitles in English), then her life will be forfeit if she goes back to Moscow.

Donald Trump needs more women on his staff to replace the ones leaving and who have left, so he could sponsor Nastia and give her asylum in the US, to either buy up all remaining links to Paul Manafort and his campaign, or he could use her inside the White House, give her the title of Little Fish Who Swims in Golden Showers, because we know how Donald loves all things covered in gold...

Abandoning All Hope Jokes, Putin's Cartoon Nukes, Those Russian Whores Again...

So, Donald Trump's Communications Director, Hope Hicks is resigning, one day after facing questions from the Senate Intelligence Committee, and after she admitted to telling that she has told white lies for him... The Hopeless jokes are just beginning. Either she had been planning on retiring at the tender age of 29, or she just decided that she no longer wished to participate in the Trump Madhouse, and had to get out while she still had some dignity left, unlike the unlikeable Sara Sanders.

Hope came to the position, starting from being a fashion PR person for Ivanka Trump, then working on the Trump campaign where she showed how organized she could be, to working closely with Donald in the White House. Probably more than Ivanka, she had a calming influence... But she had a taste for bad boys, having affairs with the volatile Cory Lewandowski, and Rob Porter, who was accused of beating up both of his ex-wives. Did she continue that passive-submissive role in dealing with the Donald when he would be yelling and cursing at the day's news events? Who is left to temper the bad grandpa and spell-check his Twitter rants? Now she's looking for more meaningful secretarial work, where loyalty is prized over competence, and it includes a membership to Mar-a-lago...

There has been at least one staff member to resign for the past six days, adding to the 36 others who

have left during Trump's first year as President. This is not counting the lower level agents and analysts for the FBI, CIA, the State Department, who have all taken early retirements, and the over 200 job positions that were never hired, including ambassadors. Our Ambassador to Mexico announced yesterday that she was outta here...

Is this a case of rats leaving a sinking White House, or the fact that Donald Trump has surrounded himself with amateurs and incompetents who can't take the crazy-making atmosphere of Washington (it's even worse in Congress) and scrutiny of the 24 hour news cycle? We may not care, sitting comfortably in our living rooms, but everyone in Washington knows when Paul Ryan or Mitch McConnell farts💥, and the political meaning of each one... Donald may not have personally colluded with the Russians, but it looks like everyone else connected to his campaign was, including his dishonest son-in-law. Every day brings some new, jaw-dropping revelation, and the scrambling of Republicans trying to put a positive spin on things. you know, like a white lie or two... God only knows what will happen now that Donald is left to yell at his pillow, tweet back to Sean Hannity, and incoherently lash out at his staff and Attorney General, alas Jeff, why have you treated me so...

Vladimir Putin gave the Russian State of the Union speech last night, which was really his campaign speech for re-election as Prime Minister later this month. I didn't think there were any more businesses left for him to rip off, but I must be mistaken... Oh, right, he still wants to make Russia great again... Instead of bragging about the new social programs designed to lift people out of poverty, he touted his Syrian strategy, designed to kill off a few hundred more young soldiers in the name of patriotism. Most importantly, be told the world that he had developed two new types of nuclear missiles that could evade any current anti-missile defense, one a drone that works underwater, and two, a missile that flies lower, hugging the terrain and flying faster than ever before. He accompanied this with animations created seven years ago, and one sequence showed warheads falling on Florida and Mar-a-lago. Bigger, stronger, faster, sneakier, it looks like Vlad has to rely on Viagra and war fantasies to get it up these days... Which bothers me because he and I are the same age... And if you see any interviews with Putin, look at his eyes, how he never looks anyone in the eyes with his buggy blue ones, and how often he glances down and to the left, a universal tell that you are lying...

People have been wondering why Donald Trump still refuses to mention Vlad's name in any context with the news, posing speculation on just what information Putin has on him. My guess is that videotape Donald made in St Petersburg  when he went there for the Miss Universe pageant.

There may have been more than one tape made, but it has been previously reported that he hired two Russian hookers, who were state-sponsored, to come to his hotel room and perform golden showers on him and the bed. That means they pissed on him and the bed that had at one time been slept in by Barack and Michelle Obama. Would his evangelical base abandon him if he turns out to be a major perv along being a pussy-grabber? Could he have hired the notorious crew headed by Nastia Rybka, who have been photographed with oligarchs and cabinet members on yachts and at expensive clubs? She has been posting a lot on Russian social media, as well as hosting some anti-Putin candidates and the Oligarch Hunter on her website. She has written a book about her experiences, and has a couple of videos on Pornhub, including a non-sexual video stating her case, and has been moore  vocal and hysterical since landing in a Thai jail two days ago for escorting 20 Russian tourists on a sex tour not connected to the Thai mafia... Hmmm, the Russian mafia asking the Thai mafia to keep her out of Russia for awhile?